Such a little thing. So helpless. That responsibility must weigh heavily on a mother, especially a mother with no support. Again his thoughts turned to his own mother. A sudden flash of being held, comforted, when he didn’t feel well came into his head. He shrugged. He must be thinking of Mrs. Duncan.
Or was he? Could he be remembering his own mother? He’d faced the fact that the teddy bear he remembered had come with him to the ranch. He’d once asked Mrs. Duncan who had given it to him. She’d told him he’d been clutching it when he arrived.
For days, he’d tried to ignore that little brown bear. But in the end, he’d taken it back into his bed. He hoped Mandy’s bear would bring her as much comfort as his had to him. No matter who had given it to him.
Melissa came back into the room with a bottle in her hand. He stared at it because the liquid was pink.
“Pink water?”
“That’s the Tylenol. It’s a red liquid.”
He took the bottle from her so she could rouse Mandy and lift her from the bed.
“Mandy, it’s Mommy. Come on, baby, time to wake up.”
Mandy whimpered and rubbed her eyes with her fists. Russ wanted to grab her and cuddle her against him, promise her he’d keep anything from hurting her. Instead, he stood aside and let Melissa take care of her child.
“I’ll give her the bottle while you pack,” she said softly, after changing Mandy’s diaper.
He surrendered the bottle and stood back as the pair left the room. With a shrug, he went to his bedroom to do as Melissa suggested.
After he’d gathered his things together, he joined her in the living room. “Can I have one of the pictures of Mandy and me on Jack?”
“Of course. The packages are on my desk. Feel free to go through and pick one out. I can have another copy made later if I want to use it.”
He took the photos into the kitchen and, after wiping off the table, spread them out. There were ten of him and the baby. He loved all of them. Finally, he selected the one that was best of Mandy. He didn’t care what he looked like.
He went back into the living room and showed it to Melissa. Mandy shoved the bottle out of her mouth and sat up, reaching for him.
“Da-da-da-da,” she cooed.
“Hello, sweetheart. Are you feeling better?” he asked, reaching for her. Melissa released her into his arms.
The baby gurgled and patted his face.
“When will she start to talk?”
Melissa shrugged. “She already says ma-ma and ba-ba. That means bottle,” she interpreted for him. “Or ball,” she added with a grin. “We practice sometimes, so it shouldn’t be too long.”
He’d miss that period of her development, he realized. Hell, he was going to miss the rest of her life. Why should it bother him that he wouldn’t be here for her first real words? Or her first step. Or her first date.
Frowning, he caressed her pudgy cheeks. “She’s such a pretty baby.”
Again Melissa smiled. There hadn’t been many smiles today. “I certainly won’t argue with you there.”
“Does she look like her daddy?”
His abrupt question took him by surprise, as well as Melissa.
“I—no, I don’t think so. But he was definitely a morning person, like Mandy.”
“And me.”
“Yes, and you. I should’ve asked you that before I planned our weekend, but I didn’t. It’s fortunate you turned out to be one.”
“Yeah,” he muttered, his gaze never leaving the baby’s face. “Will she remember me?”
Melissa looked away and shrugged. “You don’t remember your mother at the age of four, Russ. I doubt that Mandy will remember you.”
But he did.
Since coming back to Wyoming and spending time with Melissa and Mandy, he was remembering bits of his early life. Even now, as his heart grew heavy at the thought of leaving Melissa and Mandy, he remembered being clutched tightly in someone’s arms, someone who was crying.
His mother.
“She didn’t want to leave me,” he said.
“Who?”
“My mother.”
Melissa hesitated a moment. “I never thought she did,” she said quietly.
“I wish I’d realized sooner how...I thought she didn’t love me.” He blinked several times, amazed that tears had filled his eyes.
A warm hand stole into his and he looked at Melissa’s pale, soft skin. Her touch filled him with warmth.
“You said she was very young. Sometimes it’s easy to think your best isn’t good enough, not to realize love is more important than nice clothes or even a full tummy.” Melissa drew a deep breath and squeezed his hand. “Maybe you should see if you can track her down. She’s probably suffered greatly.”
It had never occurred to him that his mother might have suffered. He’d been so angry, so lost, he’d only thought about himself. Then he’d shut thoughts of her away completely.
He kissed Mandy’s forehead. “Mandy will always know she’s loved.”
“Yes. Always.”
They sat there in silence, the late-afternoon sun filtering into the room. The peace of the moment filled Russ’s heart. He felt better, in many ways, than he ever had. The hurt, the anger that had always been there was easing away. And Melissa’s advice to seek out his mother kept repeating itself over and over. Should he?
“It’s time to leave for the airport,” Melissa said, standing. She held out her arms for her baby. “I’ll go change her diaper again, and then we’ll go.”
Russ reluctantly released the child.
While Melissa changed Mandy, he took his bags to the car. He remembered his arrival, his reluctance to fulfill his promise. He’d been wrong. In the three days he’d spent here, he’d learned a lot. About himself. About life.
On a sudden impulse, he hurried back inside and went to the kitchen, using the wall phone to call the ranch.
“Sam? Has Lindsay returned yet?”
“Not yet, Russ. She’ll be back later.”
“Do you know anything about my mother?”
Silence followed his question. Finally, Sam cleared his throat. “Nope. But Lindsay has the records.”
“Would you ask her to see what she can find and call me in Chicago?”
“’Course I will.”
As Russ hung up the phone, feeling a lightheartedness that was completely new to him, Melissa came into the kitchen.
“Did you get everything?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Everything he could pack. The picture of him and Mandy was in his garment bag, safely tucked away in his suit pocket. He’d never had pictures in his office, like the other executives. Now he’d proudly display that one. He’d buy a couple of frames, saving one for the picture of him and Melissa that the reporter had promised to send.
They walked together out to the car. He opened the back door and took Mandy from her mother to strap her in her car seat. “Want to go for a ride, little girl?” he asked softly.
Mandy gurgled and jumped back and forth in her seat as he tried to fasten the straps.
“That’s one word you understand, isn’t it? Go. We’re going to go.”
She continued to grin up at him, and he tried to memorize her sweetness, to hold it close to his heart to take with him back to Chicago.
Then he stared at Melissa.
He wanted to take her image back to Chicago, too. Her sweetness. Her strength.
The drive to the airport was a silent one.
He couldn’t think of anything to say. Should he tell Melissa that he was thinking of taking her advice, of trying to find his mother? No, he hadn’t actually made that decision yet. Could he tell her how much he would miss her and Mandy? No. She might get the wrong idea.
After all,
he knew she and Mandy didn’t fit into his life. His attraction to Melissa had been physical, that was all. He’d find a woman after his return to Chicago. There was that redhead in his office building. They’d chatted a few times.
So he said nothing.
* * *
MELISSA CONCENTRATED on her driving. On the traffic. On the advertising billboards along the road. Anything but Russ. If she thought about his leaving, she would cry.
Already she’d cried more than she had since Greg’s death. Russ had forced her from her safe cocoon, making her feel again. Making her hurt. Making her become stronger.
In only three days, he’d helped her to be a better person. And a lonelier one. She was going to miss him. Mandy would, too, for a few days.
They got to the airport and she parked the car.
“Don’t get out.”
She turned to stare at Russ. “What?”
“Don’t get out of the car. It’s too much trouble with Mandy. I can find my gate okay. It’s not like this is O’Hare,” he assured her, referring to Chicago’s busy airport.
She stared at him. She’d thought she would have a little more time, a few precious minutes waiting for his flight to be called.
But he was right. It was better this way. Abrupt. Clean. Impersonal. “If you insist,” she said, pleased that her voice didn’t wobble. “Thank you for—for all you’ve done.”
He stared at her, but she couldn’t read his expression. She looked out the windshield, hoping he’d hurry and leave while she could still keep their farewell impersonal.
Releasing his seat belt, he slid toward her, not toward the door. She turned to stare at him. “Wha—”
His arms came around her and his lips covered hers. The kiss wasn’t like the other two he’d given her, casual, almost incidental. No, this was a full assault on her senses. His lips took over her body and her mind.
Almost without realizing it, she lifted her arms to encircle his neck, cooperating with every breath she had. He pulled away, then repositioned his mouth over hers, deepening the kiss, stroking her tongue with his, her body with his hands.
She clung to his broad shoulders, to his strength, because she felt weak...but never in danger. Russ had her trust. He’d earned it over and over again in his care for Mandy.
In his Mother’s Day gift.
In his care for her.
Besides, he was leaving.
So she indulged her craving for his touch, his kiss, without protest. In fact, she responded with all the enthusiasm she could muster. When he pulled back a second time, she protested, her lips enticing him back.
With a groan, he didn’t resist. Instead he merely tightened his hold on her body, eliminating any space between them. She couldn’t tell where she ended and he began, whether it was her heart thumping loudly or his. She only knew she was in heaven.
It was Mandy’s gurgle that parted them.
“Da-da-da-da!” she shrieked as they broke apart.
Russ didn’t move far. One thumb caressed her lips as he stared at her. “Melissa...” he whispered.
“You—you’d better go,” she whispered in return, forcing herself to pull away from him. “Have a safe trip.”
For a minute she thought he wasn’t going to move. Then, after dropping another kiss on her lips, a brief one, he opened his car door and got out.
“Can you release the trunk?” he asked, bending down to stare at her.
Such a mundane question after their embrace struck her as funny, but she didn’t laugh. “Yes.”
She stared in the rearview mirror, catching only glimpses of him as he removed his luggage from the trunk. She realized she wasn’t breathing when he walked up to the driver’s side of the car.
Taking a deep breath, she rolled down the glass.
He bent over. “Take care of yourself and Mandy.”
“I will. You, too.”
“Yeah.” Again he kissed her. A hard kiss that skipped any preliminary steps. Then he wrenched his mouth from hers and strode away.
She didn’t know how long she stared after him. He never turned around. Never looked back. He was gone.
Mandy whimpered, as if she, too, was mourning Russ’s departure.
“It’s okay, baby,” Melissa whispered, looking at her child in the rearview mirror. “We’re okay. We’re going to be fine.”
And she continued to repeat those words over and over again as she drove home.
* * *
THE FLIGHT HOME was uneventful.
His apartment looked the same. Boring. Bare. Cold.
He dumped his luggage in his bedroom. Then he picked up the phone and ordered in a pizza. It was there by the time he’d unpacked.
A point in Chicago’s favor. You could get food any time of the day or night. And fast. If he’d gone out early this morning in Chicago to find a present for Melissa, he wouldn’t have been limited to nail polish, either.
Chicago had everything.
Except Melissa and Mandy.
He intended to put that thought from his mind. But the picture of him and Mandy was on his breakfast table. Tomorrow he’d buy a frame, so his precious picture would be protected.
Then he gathered his mail, checked his answering machine and prepared for life in the big city.
* * *
AFTER LUNCH THE NEXT DAY, he unwrapped the silver frame he’d bought. In seconds, he’d slid the picture of him and Mandy into the frame and had it sitting on his credenza.
He only had to turn his head to see the baby again. To feel the warmth of her little body against him. To remember her mother and those goodbye kisses at the airport. To wonder how he was going to live without them.
“Hey, Russ, glad you’re back. How did—” The tall man who’d stuck his head into Russ’s office straightened abruptly. “Whoa! Who’s that?” he asked, moving into the office, his gaze on the picture.
“You don’t recognize me?”
“Not with a baby in your arms. You changing your mind about children?”
Mike Wilson was a friend. Or at least an acquaintance. They were both without family and went out together occasionally.
Russ shrugged his shoulders. “I spent the weekend with her, and she’s a sweetheart.”
“Yeah, lots of them are for an hour or two. You’d change your mind quickly enough if you hung around a baby very long.”
“Is that why you don’t see your child?” Russ asked quietly. He knew Mike was divorced. He’d moved from Dallas and seldom mentioned the woman and child he’d left behind.
“Hey, buddy, don’t get any weird ideas. I pay for my freedom. That woman would haul me into court if I missed even one payment.”
Russ had never questioned Mike’s attitude before. Now he felt sick to his stomach. He didn’t even know the woman, but his sympathies lay with her.
He tried to hide his reaction.
“Say, the reason I stopped in was to see if you’re free tonight,” Mike continued. “You know that little redhead you’ve been eyeing? I ran into her and a girlfriend on Saturday. She expressed an interest in you.”
Russ remembered his plans. He’d intended to make a connection with her after his weekend in Wyoming. Why did it hold so little appeal now?
“And, man,” Mike continued, “she’s hot to trot for you. Her girlfriend isn’t bad, either. Patty. She’s blond and has big—” He paused and held out his hands, palms up. “So how about tonight?”
Russ cleared his throat. “I’m a little behind since I was off Friday. Why don’t we make it another night.”
“When? Tomorrow? I want to strike while the iron is hot. My bed has been empty for a few nights. Time for a little action.”
Had he been this shallow? Russ wondered. This disgusting? No. Perhaps he
hadn’t been as caring and sensitive as he should’ve been, but he hadn’t used women the way Mike was talking about doing.
“I can’t this week, Mike. Sorry.”
“So shall I schedule it for Saturday night? That’d give you plenty of time to catch up.”
“No, thanks.”
Mike stared at him, his hands on his hips. “What’s wrong with you, man? Did you suddenly become a stick-in-the-mud?”
Russ couldn’t answer him. He couldn’t explain the changes he was experiencing. But he knew why. Melissa and Mandy.
Mandy’s father was dead. He’d had no choice about leaving his child. If he’d walked away from Mandy, as Mike had with his child, Russ would now be trying to look him up and plant a facer on him.
With Mike staring at him, he finally said, “I’m not interested, Mike.”
The man stiffened. “I think I get the picture. See you around, Hall.” He stalked out of the office.
Russ leaned back in his chair, trying to figure out what had just happened. Had he changed that much? He hadn’t done a lot with Mike in the last year. Things had always come up. Had he been distancing himself from the man without realizing it?
Or had Mandy and Melissa had such an effect on his life that he’d changed almost overnight? His gaze went to the picture of him and Mandy.
He wondered if she was feeling better. Had her fever come back? Had Melissa been able to get up this morning a little more easily since she’d gotten to sleep in the past three mornings?
Had she chosen the pictures for the cards?
Did they miss him?
He reached for the phone.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
MELISSA GROANED AND flopped back against the pillow. It wasn’t the getting up early that disturbed her.
It was her dreams.
She’d tossed and turned all night, dreaming of Russ, of his touch. The man was driving her crazy. Mandy had been cranky last night, after their return from the airport. Easy to blame it on her teething.
But Melissa believed her baby missed Russ. Just as she did. Damn the man. He came into their lives, got them all stirred up, and then waltzed out again.
“And it’s all my fault,” she muttered to herself. After all, she’d invited him to stay in her house. But she hadn’t known how caring he could be. Or how much fun. He’d teased her a lot. Made her laugh.
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