Autumn had always been her favorite time of year, but it wasn’t nearly as spectacular in the city as it was in the mountains. She spent most of it indoors, working her ass off. Occasionally, she’d venture out to Central Park, just to get a much-needed fix of grass and trees. It was beautiful, but it just wasn’t the same.
Chapter Forty-Six
Sandy
On a sudden whim one beautiful Saturday morning, Sandy made the two-hour drive back to Sumneyville. She stopped by Danny’s Happy Trail Ranch first. Tori was excited to see her but was booked all afternoon and didn’t have time to chat. Also disappointing, there was no sign of Heff or his truck.
She drove down into town and stopped by Franco’s next. Rico and Jeannie were happy to see her, but they were busy too.
She went by her old house, thinking maybe she’d stop in and see Lenny, but cars and trucks were parked up and down the street, and there was a big party going on in the backyard. Not in the party mood, she kept going.
She drove out to Obermacher’s and picked up some apple cider, freshly made doughnuts, and a small pumpkin. The picnic tables were all full, so she went back to her car and sat in the parking lot, eating her doughnut, watching as families and friends went beyond the farm stand for hayrides out to the pumpkin patch and to the orchard to pick their own apples.
She felt lonelier than ever. Forgotten. Betrayed.
It was irrational, she knew. She hadn’t told anyone she was coming. She was the one who’d been so keen to leave Sumneyville. She was the one who’d been so busy busting her backside to prove herself that she neglected to call, to visit, to keep in touch. Why did it sting so much to see that life had gone on without her?
She wondered what Kevin was doing and fired off an impulsive text to Bianca.
Sandy: Rare day off. Would love to see you and Kevin if you’re around.
She felt hopeful when the three little dots danced on the screen as Bianca texted out a reply.
Bianca: Sorry, Sandy, we’re out of town. Another time.
Dejected, Sandy drove around town with the windows open, breathing in the fresh, clean air and the familiar scents of autumn. She’d always taken those things for granted before along with so many others. Like not being afraid to make eye contact or wishing someone a good day and receiving the same in return. To know her neighbors and the people she worked with.
To feel as if she was a part of something. A family. A community. A relationship.
By late afternoon, Sandy was headed back toward the city, her spirits dampening with every mile. As she passed the road that led to the Sanctuary, she thought about texting Heff and then decided against it. As much as she wanted to see him, it would only make things that much harder.
“What did you expect, Sandy?” she murmured to herself. “Did you think everyone was going to put their lives on hold, just waiting for you to come back and grace them with your presence?”
* * *
In the following weeks, Sandy buried herself in work, determined to prove that she hadn’t made a mistake. That this was still what she wanted, that things would get better. Change was always difficult, and anything worth having was worth working for.
Halloween came and went. The weather turned colder, the sky grayer. She was excited for the first real snow, right up until she stepped outside her apartment building in the morning. What would have been heavy layers of pristine white in her backyard were puddles of black and gray slush on the city streets and sidewalks. The crisp, icy-cold air that typically invigorated her wasn’t nearly as pleasant when it whipped through the wind tunnels created by the tall buildings.
She was halfway through November when she received a call from Tori. They talked for an hour. Tori brought her up-to-date on the ranch and all the good things that were happening. She said that Bianca had even brought Kevin up for a visit at one point and that everyone was doing well. The more Tori chatted, the worse Sandy felt.
When Tori asked about her plans for Thanksgiving and invited her to join them, Sandy thanked her but politely declined, making excuses about having to work. That wasn’t exactly true. Andrea had plans to fly out of town to visit family and had insisted that Sandy take a few days off, too, but remembering her trip to Sumneyville the month before and how that had turned out, Sandy had no intention of going back during a time centered around family, not when she had none.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Sandy
Thanksgiving Day dawned bright and cold, typical for late November in the northeast, though it could have just as easily been sunny and eighty degrees. Sandy got to check an item off her bucket list when she got to see the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in person. It was cool, but after standing on the sidewalk for hours, freezing her butt off among hordes of others, she decided once was enough, and that watching it on television was the way to go.
When she returned to her apartment, she changed into her comfiest flannels and prepared a traditional meal for one. She put the tiny turkey breast into the oven and peeled and cut up two potatoes she’d picked up at the market along with a can of jellied cranberry sauce and a small bag of microwavable frozen corn.
It was the same way she’d spent the last several Thanksgivings, declining offers by well-meaning friends and neighbors to spend the day alone. Like most holidays, it was a sad time for her, a reminder of those she’d lost. Rather than get dressed up, paste a smile on her face, and pretend to be in good spirits, she would spend the day in comfortable clothes, eating as much as her stomach allowed and remembering past Thanksgivings in her own way with cheap wine and tears.
* * *
The next day, she had just reheated a plate of leftovers and was flipping through the channels when there was a buzz from the lobby below. Sandy ignored it, figuring it was a mistake. The only time anyone came to see her was when she ordered takeout, and she hadn’t done that.
The persistent buzzing continued, however, and with a sigh, Sandy got up off the couch and answered, “Yeah?”
“Sandy?”
She blinked at the familiar voice coming through the speaker, certain she was hearing things. “Tori?”
“Yes! Sam and I are in the lobby. Can you buzz us up?”
Sandy did.
“What are you doing here?” Sandy asked, opening the door.
Tori and Sam came in, wrapped in coats and scarves, their cheeks pink from the cold.
“We came to see you!” Tori exclaimed.
“And do some Black Friday shopping,” Sam added with a smile. “We figured since you’re a New Yorker now, you’d know all the best places.”
Sandy took their coats and hung them beside the door. “How did you know I’d be here?”
“We didn’t. Bianca stopped by with Kevin and mentioned you couldn’t get the time off, so we went to your office first, thinking we’d surprise you and take you out to lunch, but they said you weren’t in.” Tori looked questioningly at her.
“Change of plans,” Sandy said, but the sympathetic looks on their faces told her they weren’t buying it. She wasn’t exactly buying their we just came to shop BS either. “Want some coffee?”
“Maybe a quick cup,” Sam said. “It’s pretty cold out there.”
“Did you take a bus in?” Sandy asked, wondering just how far they’d had to walk.
“No, we drove and parked in a lot in Jersey,” Tori said with a big smile, “and took the ferry in to get the full experience. It was so cool! We’re planning to take the train back. Neither one of us has ever done either before, so it’s pretty exciting.”
Sandy laughed, her spirits much brighter than they’d been only a short time earlier. She dumped the coffee she’d made earlier and started a fresh pot. “So, you spoke with Bianca?”
“Yes, she’s brought Kevin up to the ranch a few times.”
“How’s he doing?” Sandy asked.
“He’s good,” Tori answered, her expression darkening, “but Bianca says he hasn’t bounced back as well as she’d hope
d. He stopped drawing horses and is less communicative than usual.”
“Oh no.”
Tori nodded. “She even tried taking him to some private horse place out near her, thinking that might help, but it hasn’t. Kevin’s doctor thinks he’s missing the bonds he formed in Sumneyville with you, Danny ...”
Heff, Sandy mentally added.
“Anyway, Bianca is thinking of buying a place closer, so Kevin can do daily sessions at Happy Trails.”
“That’s wonderful!”
“It is! And she was so impressed with us that she’s talking about setting up a grant to sponsor those who might not be able to afford it. Did you know she’s a Kensington?”
Did she! “I found out when my boss told me the only reason I’d been hired was because Bianca snapped her fingers and made it so.”
“Oh, shit,” Sam murmured.
Sandy nodded. “Yeah, it was a shock and a total duh moment for me. I’d never made the connection.”
“Bianca didn’t tell you?”
“No. Either she figured I’d put two and two together on my own or she didn’t want me to know. I haven’t said anything to her either. It’s humbling, knowing she’s the only reason I got the job.”
“I don’t know,” Tori mused. “Remember we were talking about how life sometimes throws something unexpected into your path? At the time, you think it’s a roadblock, but really, it’s just there to change your course toward something better.”
Sandy did remember that conversation. In fact, she’d been thinking a lot about that lately, viewing the strange turn of events not as a roadblock so much as a crossroads. She still wasn’t sure she’d chosen the right path.
After pouring them each a cup of coffee, Sandy left them to take a quick shower and change into something more presentable.
* * *
The three of them spent the rest of the day exploring the streets of Midtown Manhattan. They did some touristy stuff, like walking around Times Square and visiting Madame Tussauds, and then visited some of the famous shops along Fifth Avenue.
It was a wonderful day and she was sorry to see it end. She told them as much as they walked past the tree in Rockefeller Center.
“Oh, didn’t we tell you?” Tori asked, her eyes bright. “We’re staying in the city tonight! We got a hotel room and everything. Why don’t you come hang out with us?”
Not anxious to return to her tiny, dismal apartment, Sandy took them up on it. They caught her up on everything going on at home over wine and takeout.
No, not home, Sandy corrected mentally. She didn’t live in Sumneyville any longer.
“How’s the Sanctuary going?” she asked, hoping it sounded casual.
“Great!” Sam said, her eyes sparkling. “In fact, we’ll be welcoming our first guests soon.”
“That’s wonderful!”
“It really is. We still have a long way to go, but we’ve got a few rooms ready, and the kitchen and dining room are just about done. And ever since that whole kerfuffle last month, things have really been moving forward.”
Sandy blinked. “What kind of kerfuffle?”
“Heff and Mad Dog caught one of the guys who had been sabotaging things red-handed.”
“Really? Who?”
“Dwayne Freed,” Sam said. “You remember him, don’t you?”
“I do,” Sandy confirmed, thinking about Lenny getting into his truck that night before she left.
“There was another guy, too, but he got away.”
“They don’t know who it was?”
“No, and Dwayne wouldn’t say. He left town shortly after that.”
Sandy had a sneaking suspicion she knew who the other guy was even if she didn’t want to believe it. Lenny wasn’t a bad guy really, but he had a history of skewed judgment when his cousin Dwayne was around.
“Anyway,” Tori continued, picking up the story, “they took Dwayne down to the police station and spoke to Chief Freed. We don’t know exactly what happened, but Sam overheard the guys talking and thinks that Church told the chief that if he didn’t take care of the problem, they would.”
Tori poured her another glass of wine.
“Wow. I had no idea.”
“Yeah, pretty exciting stuff for our sleepy little town, huh? So, tell us about your job. Is it as glamorous as it sounds?”
Sandy grimaced. “Not even close.”
They talked late into the night, but it was the most fun Sandy had had in a long time. Maybe ever. The downside was, when she walked Tori and Sam to the station and said good-bye, she felt more alone than ever.
Andrea returned on Monday and work resumed at a frantic pace. Sandy was glad for it. It gave her less time to think. Days passed in a blur, and before she knew it, it was the week before Christmas, and Andrea was calling her into her office.
“I’m leaving for Vail tonight,” she told Sandy from behind her massive desk, “and I won’t be returning until after the New Year. I wanted to let you know that I’ve sent my evaluation down to HR.”
Sandy held her breath. Her internship officially ended at the end of the calendar year, and Andrea’s recommendation would be the single most important factor in whether or not she was offered a permanent position. Despite the fact that things had improved between them, Sandy still wasn’t sure which way things would go.
Andrea peered at her over the top of her reading glasses, waiting for Sandy to ask, but she didn’t give her the satisfaction.
Instead, Sandy simply nodded and said, “That doesn’t leave much time before your meeting with London. I’ll prep what I can, so there won’t be as much for you to do when you get back.”
Andrea’s lips quirked; her eyes shone with what looked like respect. At least, that was what Sandy wanted to believe. “You do that.”
Sandy turned to go.
She had her hand on the door when Andrea said, “Cassandra?”
Sandy turned back around to face her. “Yes?”
“I’m recommending you for a permanent position. Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” Sandy told her. “Happy holidays, Ms. Collins.”
* * *
When Sandy left the office much later that night, Andrea’s words were still echoing in her head. She knew Andrea thought she was doing her a favor by letting her know her decision before the holidays, but Sandy almost wished she hadn’t. It would have been so much easier to believe that Andrea probably wasn’t going to offer her a permanent position and that Sandy would have no choice but to move back to Sumneyville and reevaluate things.
Now, however, she had a really big decision to make.
It was the offer she’d been dreaming of from the first time she landed the position of art coordinator for her high school newspaper. What she’d spent the last ten years working and going to school for. She’d be a fool to say no.
So ... why did the thought of accepting the job make her feel as if she was slamming the door on a chance at personal happiness instead of opening one to a bright future filled with possibilities?
Six months earlier, she would have jumped at the opportunity. Now that she’d had a taste of what her life would be for the foreseeable future, she wasn’t quite as stoked.
An associate position wasn’t much different than an internship, except that the stakes were even higher. The competition was cutthroat and fierce, the job high-stress and fast-paced. She loved designing, and she’d be making good money, but when would she get to enjoy it? It could be years before she had enough seniority and experience to have time to have a life of her own.
Those were the questions she was asking herself over Chinese takeout when her phone rang. Tori’s name popped up on the screen. Sandy picked it up, glad for the distraction.
“Hey, Tori. How are you?”
“Great! When are you coming in?”
“I’m not sure,” Sandy answered truthfully. “I’d like to stop by and see everyone, but that will depend on when you’re available.”
“Where are
you planning on spending Christmas Day?”
That question was easier to answer. “Here.”
“You can’t spend Christmas alone, Sandy.”
“Sure I can.” Like Thanksgiving, it had become her tradition to stay in her pajamas all day, binge-watch movies, and eat her weight in cookies. “It’s fine. Really.”
“No, it’s really not. You’re forgetting, I’ve been where you are, Sandy. I know what it’s like.”
Sandy didn’t know what to say to that, so she said nothing.
“You have to come, or ... or we’ll come to you.”
Despite herself, Sandy smiled. Tori had already proven that she would do just that, and she’d probably drag Sam along with her. It wasn’t fair to take them away from their families and friends, especially not at this time of year.
“All right. Pick a day before or after, but not Christmas Day. That’s nonnegotiable.”
She heard Tori sigh. “Fine. How about the twenty-third?”
“I’ll probably be working a full day, but I can head down after.”
“Promise?”
Sandy laughed at her tenacity. “Yes, I promise. Now, give me some ideas on what I can get Danny for Christmas.”
Chapter Forty-Eight
Sandy
Being so close to the winter solstice meant that daylight was in short supply, and it was already dark when Sandy exited the Holland Tunnel on the Jersey side. The sky was clear, and the air was cold with the weather forecasters predicting the possibility of a white Christmas. The closer she got to Sumneyville, the more her mood lifted. Despite what she’d said about Christmas being no big deal, she was excited to see everyone even if it was only for a few minutes.
She drove by her old house first. Lenny wasn’t there, which was disappointing. She left his present on the front porch along with a goofy card she’d found.
She headed to Franco’s next. They were busy, as usual, so she only stayed long enough to give Jeannie and Rico the gifts she’d picked up in Little Italy and wish them happy holidays.
Best Laid Plans Page 24