No wonder he looked so ripped up. This deal meant too much to him. He’d invested so much time to have it get this far and be at risk of losing it because of some egotistical rat like Dennis. “That’s ridiculous. That’s like…like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Don’t they realize how profitable this deal could be? I just don’t get it. You had their approval before, which is how things got this far. Why are they second-guessing you now?”
He met her gaze. “Because Dennis has put it into their heads that I’m not making decisions right now from a place of power but more a place of…lust. He’s insinuated that, of late, I’ve been relying too much on…your opinion, despite the possible harm it might bring the company. Starting with the EAP and now this thing with Lauralee.”
“Lust?” The horror and humiliation of what he was saying finally sank in. “They’re implying that we’ve been in some sort of…inappropriate relationship from the start? That maybe I’ve used my wiles to get you to compromise on certain issues?” She felt sick. It was the very reason she’d been reluctant to move their relationship from professional to anything but a few days ago. She didn’t want the knowing looks, the crude jokes, and the credibility she’d worked so hard for lost, just like that.
And the thing that was unfair, up until twelve hours ago—okay, maybe twenty-four if you counted that kiss—she hadn’t done anything to cross that line. She could have marched right into that boardroom and denied everything, all the lies that Dennis was spreading to hurt her, to hurt James.
But now…it was true. They were sleeping together, and whether they put a prettier ribbon on it and called it a serous relationship or not, who would believe them?
She leaned forward, covering her hands with her face. This was a mess. How was she going to show her face on Monday? Would there be snickering? Knowing smiles behind her back?
Another truth was also starting to hit her.
If this deal didn’t go through, how long would it be before they were voting to throw James out?
James wouldn’t let that happen.
She knew that. But what steps would he take to ensure that didn’t happen? What would he need to do to appease Dennis and the board members who held his future in their hands?
The truth was clear.
And it crushed her soul a little, even though he hadn’t said it. Yet. “You’re going to let Lauralee go, aren’t you? You’re going to stand behind Dennis and Paul and hope this all goes away and everything goes as planned.”
“I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do. I’m sure my moving against the opinions of Dennis and Paul is giving a few of them pause, especially since both men have been with the company for so long.” He pinched the top of his nose, hesitating. “I’ve thought of all sorts of scenarios and there is another possibility. I know that the board has questioned a few of my decisions over the past few months, starting with bringing Lauralee back on, then the Blossom Brew franchise deal, followed by the EAP—which many of them considered wasteful and unnecessary. I’m thinking that if I go into that meeting ready to offer a compromise, I can keep the votes to make this deal happen. But ultimately, it’s going to come down to letting go of something. Lauralee…or the EAP.”
She felt like he’d slapped her.
He’d either fire Lauralee or drop the EAP? Those were the only solutions to this?
She shook her head, not believing he was thinking this. Lauralee didn’t deserve to lose her job because a couple of arrogant assholes couldn’t let go of their hurt pride. And the employee-assistance plan had the possibility of helping so many employees, employees like her who struggled with their mental health and could use the extra support that this plan would provide them. That would have provided her or her mom had it been available.
From the way that James was looking at her, she was fairly certain which way he was leaning.
And it was probably the worse of two evils, she knew. Keeping an employee, an actual employee who would continue to provide service to the company, versus an expensive plan—at least in the board’s eyes—that would help employees in theory.
But she wasn’t ready to give up. Not just yet.
“James, I know there’s another choice here. There has to be. You’re a smart and savvy businessman. You’re exactly what this company needs, and you need to make them realize that having you at the helm is in their best interest. You need them to see that they can trust in your decisions.”
He glanced away, running his hand over his beard as he sighed. “It’s not that easy. For so long, I’ve been considered the black sheep of the Thornhill family. The screw-up. No one had faith I’d ever amount to much. It was a huge leap of faith for the board and Cyrus to finally give me the chance to prove my worth. Maybe with time, once this deal goes through, I can broach the topic of the EAP again. When I’m coming from a position of strength and experience. It won’t be forever, just a year, maybe two, tops.”
She stared at him, forcing him to meet her gaze again, which he did. “But what about the promise you made me? When you first hired me? You gave me your word that this would be part of the deal of my coming on board.”
He flinched. “I know I promised you and I feel horrible about this, but it’s only temporary.”
“No.” She shook her head. “You’re giving up too easily. If they won’t stand behind you, then find another way to finance that last twenty percent. You have the contacts, the connections. Even if Blossom Brew was on hold for just a few weeks…”
He stood up. “I wish it were that simple. A deal like this could just as easily go away for good. There’s a good chance that if the Blossom Brew people heard of this recent hitch, they’d pull out entirely and start talking with other companies.”
So instead of trying, he was just buckling under the pressure.
Abandoning the project, his promise, and the employees who would have benefited from this program, to make sure he stayed in his position.
It made sense. It was a rational decision.
But why did it hurt so much? Why did it feel like such a betrayal?
“I am sorry, Quinn. But it’s not forever. Just for a little while.”
“Some employees might not have a little while. Some might need help now.” It came out in barely a whisper, her earlier strength and resolve crumbling.
“For crying out loud,” he snapped. “We’re their employers. Not their doctors or their parents. Don’t put this on me, Quinn. I’m running a company here, not a charity.”
And there it was.
She’d convinced herself all this time that maybe James was different, that he wasn’t part of the whole big system that considered its employees expendable. But he was. When it came down to it, his interest was in his own skin.
He wasn’t going to even try to fight to keep his promise.
He was giving up. She had been wrong about him. About a lot of things.
“Quinn, look—”
But she didn’t need to hear any more excuses. Any more reasons not to do the right thing. To keep his promise to her.
“I trusted you.” Her heart felt like it was going to break. She needed to get away. Needed to think. “You know, I think that maybe you should probably go. Your plane is probably ready, and you can take that trip to Cabo and be back on Monday as you’d planned. I could really use these last couple of days to myself.”
He looked torn, and after a moment, he nodded. “You know, you’re right. I think we both need a couple of days to think about our priorities.” He took a deep breath, and they studied each other for a long moment. “I do wish I’d found a way to do both. Remember that.”
Then, picking up his jacket off the floor, he headed out the door, already dialing a number on his cell.
While Quinn tried not to feel like her heart was breaking. Again. That someone else she’d begun to care for, maybe even love, hadn’t just betrayed her.
Quinn heard the door open and the pattering of feet before the mattress dipped as someon
e sat on the corner of her bed.
“Go away,” she said, pulling the covers tighter around her head.
“You’ve been in here all day,” Tessa said. “Ever since your flight came in last night. Don’t you think you should at least talk to us? Tell us what happened?”
After James had left Idaho yesterday, Quinn couldn’t bear the questions that would inevitably come from her family and, needing time to herself, had booked the first flights she could find to get back to the city, getting in near midnight last night.
And even though she’d been surrounded by people on the plane and in the airports waiting to depart, she’d felt alone. No one minded the tear-faced woman in the corner with the earbuds keeping her company.
There was the delicious cracking sound of someone opening a can of soda. “I’ve got a Coke Zero here if you at least come out of the blanket,” Anna cajoled.
God. What she wouldn’t do for that first, bubbly taste…
She sat up, throwing the blanket off her.
“Whew—” Anna said, handing her the can. “You might want to consider a shower while you’re up.” But she was smiling.
The cold beverage tasted good. Even though it only seemed to make her stomach rumble more from hunger.
“I think you’ll feel better if you at least talk to us about it. We ordered an extra sausage and pepperoni pizza, your favorite,” Tessa added. “It’ll be here in ten minutes. Just enough time for you to drag yourself out of bed and take that shower.”
Quinn had felt so hollow and sad for the past couple of days. Maybe finally talking about it would help. “Okay.”
Fifteen minutes later, the hot water and soap had gone a long way in making her feel almost human again, and she sat on the couch and relayed everything to her best friends. Particularly the part where, after she’d shared the most intimate, amazing, night of her life, he’d betrayed her trust by concluding the only way to save his project—his skin—was to sell Quinn and her project out.
The girls were quiet as they processed, the only sound that of their chewing.
Finally, Tessa spoke. “And…does he know about why this project was so important to you? About your mom and…you?”
“I told him.” She could see the surprise on their faces, knowing it’d been a taboo topic to her for so long. “And even knowing it, he still reached his decision.”
The girls surrounded her, each wrapping an arm around her, which, although comforting, brought renewed tears to her eyes. “We’re sorry,” Tessa offered.
“Do you want me to write up a blistering piece in an editorial—anonymous, of course—about what a sack of shit they all are?” Anna asked.
That earned a bleak laugh. “No. That’s okay. I don’t want to…hurt the company.” Or him.
Her phone vibrated from the coffee table, where it sat next to her drink. They all peered down to see an incoming call from James. That made easily eight today alone.
“What are you going to do?” Tessa asked, almost cautiously. “Tomorrow you go back to work, right?”
She pushed her hand through her hair. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I…I don’t know how I can just go back to doing what I was doing before this weekend. Not just seeing James every day but interacting with him, pretending that everything that happened between us…didn’t.”
A look passed between her friends.
“So, it’s over then?” Tessa asked. “I mean, romantically. You don’t think you would ever forgive him?”
“It’s over,” Quinn said definitively. She’d reached that conclusion the moment James betrayed her trust. She couldn’t come back from that. Ever.
And she knew there was only one last thing to do before she could officially move on.
Chapter 24
James was certain that, after having a couple of days to cool off, Quinn would have seen reason. Would see that this was just a temporary delay. That it wasn’t as big of a deal as she was making it to be.
Something that he had hoped to reiterate when he’d tried to call her only to find himself in voice mail Siberia.
But when Monday morning rolled around, and he walked into his office to find Quinn sitting quietly on the couch in the corner, her face tired and drawn and all too vulnerable, he became uneasy.
“You’re here. Good,” he said, and walked toward her. “I’ve been trying to reach you for a couple days. I wanted to make sure you’re okay…with things.” He sat next to her, noticing how she almost flinched, holding her body as far away as she could.
“If you mean I’m okay with you breaking my trust, then…no. I’m not. How was Cabo?”
“Cabo?” It took him a second to realize she didn’t know. “I didn’t go. As soon as I left Idaho, I made a beeline for home. There were some things I wanted to sort out, a few members of the board I wanted to meet with before Wednesday’s meeting. Things are looking good. I think I’ve got the votes to make sure we push through and finalize this Blossom deal. Not only that, but I could tell a few of the board members were uneasy with some of Dennis’s tactics. Enough that I’m not going to offer Dennis his job back.”
“Great. Congratulations. You get the deal and you lose Dennis.” Despite her words, her tone was so neutral. Robotic even. James studied her, noticing the tired, dark circles under her eyes, her usually lustrous brown eyes almost dull as they stared back at him.
Well, he had more good news, news that he hoped would turn up her enthusiasm, because this distance between them was killing him. “It is good. You’ll be relieved to know that Lauralee is back to work, and any pay she lost during the suspension will be reinstated. I’m also moving Paul to a different position, one that won’t be overseeing Lauralee.”
She nodded. “Good. And the EAP? Is that still on the chopping block?”
“Quinn. Come on. You know that I don’t have a lot of wiggle room here. It was only after I mentioned the possibility of holding off on the program that some of them even started listening to me. As it is, by my last count, I have the votes to pull this off. Barely.”
“So you are cutting the program?” she repeated.
“Just for a few months. Until we can show how solvent this new franchise is and the small change we lose getting the program up won’t even be noticed financially.”
“But we already went through this. The graphs, the anticipated gains in productivity and decrease in absenteeism… We showed that this could potentially increase our bottom line. Not hurt it. They were willing to try it, at least until now. After seeing your indecisiveness.”
“We’ve gone over this.” Why wasn’t what he’d told her enough? Lauralee had her job. Paul had been moved. Dennis was gone. Enough already. “Right now, I’m asking the board to accept a lot of changes on blind faith in me, a guy many of them wrote off as a slacker long ago. Right now things are rocky because of this latest power play. And with Dennis gone, I need to smooth the waters.”
“Of course.” She breathed in, exhaling slowly, and she handed him a letter he hadn’t noticed sitting on her lap before now.
He scanned its contents, not quite believing what it said.
“Is this a joke?” He glanced up to meet her eyes. “You’re quitting?”
“I am. Of course, I know that, ordinarily, two weeks’ notice would be a courtesy one would provide, but I don’t think my returning here would be a good idea.”
It was like someone had kicked him in the gut. She was out, just like that?
But her resigning meant a lot more than just leaving the company. She was leaving…him.
“That’s it then?” His voice was louder, sharper than he intended. “Everything we’ve come to mean to each other these past few months and weeks and days…you’re just going to give it all up?”
“I’m not the one who made the choice here, James.”
This time he did spring to his feet, pacing the floor. “I told you I don’t have a choice.”
“You do. You can believe in yourself, believe that yo
u’re the person for this job and that, whatever your past misdeeds were, you’ve more than made up for them. Don’t feel you have to compromise your ideals to fit into anyone’s picture of who you should be. Demand the respect that you’re entitled to.”
His anger left him, leaving him only with this sudden suffocating feeling he was losing her.
“I’m sorry that I’m disappointing you. I really am. But I know we can still work through this. Make us work.” He reached out to try and take her hand in his, but she pulled it away, shaking her head.
“Don’t you see? Every relationship I’ve ever had, I’ve been afraid that I was going to be hurt, going to be let down. You asked me to trust you and I took that step, that leap of faith. I trusted you, believed you. Let myself feel things that I don’t think I’ve ever felt with another man before. Only to have that trust betrayed. It can never be the same between us, James. For any relationship to work, there has to be trust. And I’m afraid that I don’t trust you. Not anymore. You’re not the person I thought you were.”
“I’m the same person I was when you started here. I’m trying to keep this company relevant. Profitable. I have a legacy to maintain, and seeing that this place thrives and grows is the least I owe the memory of those who first built it. There are tough decisions that have to be made, things that have to be sacrificed along the way, but a strong leader knows this. Knows when to make those calls.”
She nodded almost sorrowfully. “I’m sure you believe that. But what about the promise you made to me? To your employees? Don’t you think that standing strong, not caving in on issues you believe in, is what makes you not just a better businessman but a better person?”
He hated the way she was making him feel, like he’d done something wrong. But he had responsibilities. And he was honoring those. “I guess you’re right. We don’t know each other. If you would let this come between what you and I could have together, I misjudged you.”
Crazy for the Boss (Crazy in Love Book 1) Page 19