“Yes, I’ll bet she’s scared shitless,” James finished for him. “I’ll be there in a sec. I want to clean up a bit before I greet the ladies. Can you help me here a bit, Jody?”
Wallace picked up on the subtle hint that James wanted to speak with Jody alone. He had noticed long ago that there seemed to be an odd bond between the two men. Leah had told him that James had been reared by Marty Melbourne—the man he thought was his grandfather. The two were very close despite the age difference.
It wasn’t until just a few days before Leah and James left their own time that James had found out that his grandfather, Marty—at that time missing and presumed to be in the 18th century—was really his biological father.
Last year James traveled back to 1782 with Leah. They caught up with Marty the day they arrived. James was only able to have one day with his dear grandfather—his newly acknowledged father—when the patriarch made the difficult decision to leave James and return to the 21st century. James told him that his newly discovered biological mother, Bibb Stephens—the woman Marty should have married—had cancer. James knew it was the right thing for his father to do: make up some of the time lost with the woman he loved, but hadn’t spent enough time with.
James was still pained, though. Evidently, he still had an empty spot in his soul that only an older man—one more experienced in the horrors of the world—could fill. Legally, he was James’s stepfather, but biologically, was a few years younger. He understood, and didn’t begrudge his son-in-law feeling more comfortable with the grandfather persona.
“What do ye need help with there, Wee James,” Jody asked when the others had left. He only called him that name when they were alone or with family. He did it because he got a smile from James every time he said it. James was the shortest man in the family at six foot even.
James gave Jody the grin he knew the man was expecting by calling him ‘wee.’ “How do you do it? And how long does it take?” James asked weakly.
Jody cocked his head and asked without words, ‘please explain?’
James elaborated, “How do you get that look, those looks, out of your head. That first one: when he’s shot and realizes that he’s death waiting to be fulfilled, and then that blank stare when you see that his spirit is gone.”
“Aye, there are two moments when a man dies. It’s only when yer up close when takin’ a man’s life, as ye were today, that ye see both of them. The first time is the soul separatin’ from the body, not really wantin’ to leave—that’s the shocked look ye see, the one with the blink. But, it’s the second face that’s jest as bad. That’s when the soul is gone and only the shell remains. That’s why it stays with ye: it’s frozen, like a portrait carved into yer brain where ye canna run from it. Ye see that face in yer heid and part of ye believes that it willna ever leave. It never really does, but with a good life, it doesna come to haunt ye as much. It may help if ye realize that the body that stays is jest a hull, like a walnut picked clean and left behind. The rest is either one place or the other. And in this case, I would suspect he’s havin’ to answer fer his bad intents. He was sure to wind up with the devil sooner or later. Ye jest sent him on his way a bit earlier, and kept him from doin’ more harm to others, with yer clean shot. It’s not much to brag about—and I ken ye wouldna—but the man dinna suffer, and neither did Benji, Janie, or me because of what ye did today. If it helps, when that man’s face comes to try and haunt ye—and it will—think of the three of us who are here, now, because ye did the right thing. And fer yer own sake, pray that the Lord has mercy on the man’s soul. Ye canna be damnin’ him more than he already has been, aye?”
“Aye,” James said. “Would you make an excuse for me not coming back to the house right away? I want to go home for a bit. It may sound—no, you probably understand this—I want to, need to, be by myself. And I want to take a bath and scrub this horrible feeling off of me.”
“It willna scrub off, but the washin’ does help. That and the solitude and prayers to the Lord, askin’ to help repair yer soul. What ye did today wasna a sin, but it wasna an easy task either. I’m verra glad ye did it and so is my grandson. Dinna take too long. I’m sure yer wife wants ye to be with her and the bairn. And that’s another part that will help the healin’: bein’ close to yer wife.” Jody moved his shoulders uneasily, trying to decide how to word it.
“Do you mean being intimate with her?” James asked softly.
Jody nodded. “Aye, it will help, and I’m sure Leah would want to help ye with the healin’. That’s what she does.”
“All right. I won’t be too long then. At least, now I have something to look forward to. Thanks for everything,” James said, then bowed his head to take his leave.
“Oh, ‘tis me that should be thankin’ ye!” Jody said and planted a hearty pat on the distressed man’s shoulder. “Take care now,” he added and returned the farewell nod. He headed back to his own home, his wife, and the rest of his family who were safe today because of the reluctant warrior.
29 Make room
“S arah, do ye think ye can let Jane sleep in the surgery tonight? Benji can have the barn,” Jody announced when he came into the house, totally ignoring the topic of the shooting death that had just occurred. He didn’t want to talk about the altercation right away. That could wait. The women had probably seen more than they wanted to anyhow. The bad men were gone and his family plus one were safe. Right now, that was all that was important.
Before Sarah could answer him, Benji protested weakly, knowing full well that what Grandpa said was how it was going to be. “But we’ve been sleeping together on the road for the last week. We’ll be fine,” he said, just in case the arrangements hadn’t been finalized.
“Ye willna be sleepin’ with a woman unless yer marrit to her. Ye’ll be apart as long as there’s at least one room and a barn or a shed or the open sky to separate the two of ye into. Leah,” he called to change the subject and address his concerned granddaughter, “James will be along soon. He wanted to clean up a bit. Now, where is that bald-headed great-granddaughter of mine?”
“Jane has her. She was being fussy again—Bibby, not Jane—so she took her into the surgery. I don’t know what it is about that woman, but she starts singing, and the child is enthralled. Can you hear her?” Leah asked then looked toward the closed door of the surgery.
Ж
Jane walked slowly around the small room addition, trying to soothe the baby cradled in her arms, singing her mama’s love song to her. Little Bibby’s mother—Leah was her name—had just fed her, but the baby acted as if she was still hungry. Maybe she just wanted to suck, too. Jane had never wet-nursed a baby before—intentionally, at least—but she felt something strange when Wee Raymond had suckled her. His tiny mouth pulling on her didn’t feel the same as when Benji kissed and sucked and licked. And then there was that bluish white fluid the baby had in his mouth when she pulled him away. She’d seen it in the corner of babies’ mouths before when her mother wet-nursed them. Could she have milk? She’d never had a baby, but maybe that didn’t make a difference with people. She enjoyed the sucking—too much if that was possible. Just thinking about it made her feel warm and moist in the junction between her torso and her legs, and made her nipples tingle.
She looked down at little bald-headed Bibby snuggled in her arms, gnawing her fist in hunger, and sympathized with the child’s frustration. She had felt that discomfort many times in her life, too: the belly that didn’t have enough food in it to be satisfied. At least she could let the child suck. It would feel good to her, and the baby; well, maybe, just maybe, if she really had milk in her breasts, then she would be able to feed the child.
It could be that she was like her mama that way. She was the only baby her mother had birthed, but Mama nursed other babies for years, sometimes even when she hadn’t had one sucking on her for months. Maybe the milk was a gift like singing. Mama had told her that her voice was a present from God. Her mother could sing and nurse other
people’s babies. Maybe she had received both gifts, too. Jane loosened her sarong, bared her right breast, and offered it to Bibb, continuing her song of joy to the bright-eyed little girl.
Wee Bibby rubbed her nose back and forth on Jane’s nipple, making it rise in response. As soon as she felt its firmness, she opened her mouth and started sucking, getting a taste of the sustenance that she had not been getting for the last few days.
Jane felt it; the same feeling she had the moment after Wee Raymond had latched onto her. It was a warm, comforting flush of relief. Her milk had let down, she knew it had; just as it did with cows and goats. When she milked the farm animals, only a small amount of milk came out when she first pulled and squeezed on their teats. Then, all of a sudden, the milk would let down and flow by itself. That must be what was happening to her. She put her finger in Bibby’s mouth to release the suction and pulled the nipple out to check. Milk sprayed out from at least twenty points and onto the baby’s face. Jane gawked at seeing her suspicion confirmed. Wee Bibby didn’t wait to be proffered it again, but bounced her mouth back onto its target, latching onto the nipple, stimulating the flow with a gentle but insistent tug, swallowing the milk and sucking gently to keep it flowing, not relaxing lest its source be removed again.
Jane’s shock disappeared quickly as her gentle song of grace resumed, a little more grateful for the added blessing she had just discovered. The rocking chair in the corner was empty. Normally she would never think of sitting on a white person’s furniture, but these people were her new family. Her mother would let her sit in her chair if she was tired; Sarah probably would, too. She pulled the rocker away from the wall with her foot and sat in the chair that, just like all the others, was too small for her. Her legs were too long for the seat, but her bottom wasn’t too wide. She lifted her heels as she sat back in the chair, rocking the both of them to sleep.
Ж
Evie and Leah continued dinner preparations for the extended family while Jody and Wallace played chess. Wee Raymond had fallen asleep on his father’s shoulder during the game. “See, if ye hadna taken so long to move yer man, he’d still be awake,” Jody said. “Yer little brother weel be walkin’ and talkin’ before we’re finished with this game.”
Sarah went into the surgery to nurse Wee Julian. Maybe she could get him down to sleep early, too. The surgery was the one place she was sure to get some quiet time. She also wanted to check on Jane and Bibby; the singing had stopped. The odd couple was asleep in her rocking chair—baby Bibby’s lax mouth hanging away from Jane’s milky breast.
“oh kay,” Sarah whispered and walked over to the straight backed chair in the corner, selecting it as her nursing chair. She got Wee Julian to start feeding, and then moved her upper body back and forth in the stationery seat, as if it were a rocker. The movement was to soothe and relax her as much as it was for him. Between the pseudo rocking chair and his gentle sucking, Sarah found her inner peace and clarity of mind.
She had never taken obstetrics classes in medical school. All she knew about babies was from her own real life experience, but she was pretty sure that a woman had to have a baby before getting milk. But then again, that’s just what she thought, not what she knew to be fact. If Jane’s oxytocin hormones had been triggered by suckling, then they could have responded to the call for milk without the need of a pregnancy. Or maybe she had a miscarriage… No, the way she shook her head at the suggestion she had a baby was not how a woman who had just lost a child would have reacted. And, by the way Benji was so anxious to be married, he hadn’t had sex with her yet. But, Benji was his grandfather’s child and may have been getting familiar with her in other ways, ways that may have involved stimulating Jane’s lactating hormones.
Oh, well. Jane and the baby looked to be at peace. She’d have to have a quiet talk with Leah when she was done feeding Wee Julian, though. If Leah had just fed her daughter and she was still fussy, and then Jane fed her again and satisfied her enough that she had fallen asleep, it would seem that there was something amiss with Leah’s milk. Or she was pregnant again.
Sarah fed Wee Julian until he was asleep then sneaked out of the room to put him down in his bed, letting the two dozing females stay zonked out in her rocking chair. She really didn’t want Jane to know that she knew her secret—yet.
“Jody, may I have a word with you?” she asked the frowning chess master.
“Aye, might as weel. I’m not doin’ any good here. Oh, Raymond, I’ll put him to bed,” he offered as he stood up and took one more look at the chessboard, trying a different view to get a new perspective on the stagnant game. He followed Sarah to the corner, set his son next to his sleeping brother, and asked, “What’s on yer mind?”
“How’s James doing?” she asked softly.
“Nae too good; I told him all the ways I kent to recover from takin’ a man’s life, and he’s takin’ it to heart. It would be nice, mind ye, if he and Leah could spend some time alone together. I love wee Bibby, but she sure has been fussy. Is it too early fer the teethin’?”
“Yes and no,” Sarah answered. “I think Leah might be pregnant…”
Sarah saw Jody’s eyes widen as he asked her the silent question, ‘what about you?’ “No, I’m fine. I’m taking precautions. I think she’s relying on nursing alone to be her birth control. I don’t think it’s working, though. She’s nurses Bibby, but says the child’s always hungry. It happens with babies during a growth spurt—eating more frequently to bring in more milk—but I don’t think that’s the case here. She also has the first trimester fatigue syndrome going on. I wouldn’t know for sure without checking her, and even then, it might be too soon to tell. But, Jane, um, has milk and she just fed Bibby. Do you hear her crying?”
“Bibby or Jane,” Jody asked, and then realized he had unintentionally made a joke. “Oh, I see… Or I dinna see. Did she jest have a bairn?”
“No, I don’t think she needed to. She evidently had other stimulation.” Sarah cocked her head and grinned. “Hey, he’s your grandson, aye?”
Jody shook his head, trying to keep the visual representation of what had apparently occurred on at least one occasion from slipping in. “So, it willna make a difference if Leah has Bibby with her tonight; her milk isna good anyway. And that means,” Jody’s face brightened, “that maybe she can help Wee James heal in the other way.” His head kept nodding in acceptance of Sarah’s undeclared plan. “Janie can spend the night here, in the surgery, away from our randy grandson, and keep Wee Bibby fed and happy.”
“Sounds like it’s a good plan for everyone all around,” Sarah said with self-assurance.
“Except fer Benji. He’ll have no one but the goats fer company, but I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Jody sighed deeply as he remembered the other dilemma: finding a way for Benji and Jane to marry. “We’ll talk about the other problem at dinner. Maybe someone will have an idea of how the two of them can get marrit and stay here.” He shook his head in sadness. “But I dinna ken how it could be possible.”
Ж
James Melbourne stomped up the steps to announce his arrival, walking through the door with feigned self-confidence, his hair still wet from his prolonged bath. The sunny day and his roof mounted solar water heater had assured him of plenty of hot water. He had soaked in his custom-built wooden tub for nearly an hour, at least until the water got cold. He couldn’t scrub enough, so didn’t even try—at least not too long. Jody had been right, though. Soaking in the water had helped, although he did feel guilty for using all of the available hot water. They’d just have to heat water at the hearth for the baby’s bath tonight. He sighed then grimaced. It would be nice if he could get the other part of the cure Jody had suggested. But, that probably wouldn’t happen.
Bibby had been fussy for the last week and was now sleeping with them in their bed. Leah was tired from taking care of her day and night. Just one good night’s sleep would help. A thorough romping would be better still, although he’d settle for another one of thei
r late night sneaky pokes. He grinned in recall. At least, Leah didn’t protest if he took the initiative, and Bibby didn’t seem to mind the bumping around her mother got while she nursed. Maybe the two of them could leave the baby with Jane and Benji for an hour or so. A little privacy, unrestricted, uninhibited… Oops, change the subject before you get too wound up, Melbourne!
“Weel, look what the wind blew in,” Jody said when he saw James enter. Leah sauntered over to him, snuggled into his chest, and looked up at him like he was her hero. She pulled back and sighed in appreciation of her brave man, then moved in for another full body hug.
“Where is everyone?” James asked, although it was obvious that the only two missing were Jane and Bibby. Jenny was sitting in the corner with her little brothers and sister, telling them a story about giant flying birds with people inside them, using her hands and exaggerated facial gestures to accentuate the strange sounds of her monsters and heroes. I was finishing the gravy for the chicken and baked potatoes, and Wallace was setting the table.
“Looks like ye have a babysitter fer the night if ye’d like,” Jody said with a twinkle in his eye. “Yer Bibby and her Aunt Janie have a real good arrangement goin’ on there. Janie sings to her and Bibby puts her to sleep. They’ll be out when they wake. Leave them be fer a bit.”
“Well, I guess it’s good that she’s sleeping, although I would rather Bibby slept all night rather than all day,” Leah said, her face furrowed in frown. “I’m up feeding her every couple of hours, as it is.”
“We got it covered,” Sarah said, looking quickly at Jody then back to me. “I think we have enough wet nurses around here to cover her for one night. How about everyone goes and washes up, then we’ll have Jody say grace? Benji, would you see if your fiancée is ready to wake up?”
Benji didn’t have to be asked twice. He was up and almost running before the end of the request.
I looked at Sarah to see if she was going to let me know what was going on, but saw that she was doing her best to busy herself, putting on an unneeded apron. She must be stressed. I’ve never seen her try to wear two of them at the same time. She’d either tell me later, or I’d find out about it myself. Either way, a thanksgiving meal was being set out, and I needed to help Jenny wash up the youngest of the Pomeroy-Hart clan.
The Great Big Fairy (The Fairies Saga Book 4) Page 26