How she’d even gotten through the first few weeks after finding out she was pregnant was a blur. She had wanted to stay in school, but without help it was impossible. In desperation, Catherine had turned to her family.
Reverend St. John, her father, had been a rigid disciplinarian. Catherine had feared the fire-and-brimstone preacher for most of her life, so she hadn’t expected him to be pleased when she told him of her predicament. She’d known her parents would be upset when they learned of her pregnancy, but she had relied on at least getting some moral support. She had never considered that they would disown her.
Her father had given her a cold, distant stare, then informed Catherine that she was a disgrace to her family. Catherine’s mother had watched and said nothing as he belittled his daughter. Her mother had always bowed to her husband’s authority, and Catherine couldn’t remember one time when her mother had stood up to him.
Catherine cringed as her past came rushing back at her. The hurtful memories caused tears to spring to her eyes. Her father had called her some unforgivable names. That she still felt the pain, after all this time, angered her. She hadn’t even been allowed to stay in touch with her two younger sisters. That had hurt the most.
Get yourself together, she mentally admonished herself. She had made it through all of that. She had gotten a job to support herself and had finished college while taking care of a small child. She’d eventually received her master’s degree and was working at a rewarding career, was able to provide well for Matthew and herself.
Catherine had been through hell and back, and she was stronger for it. She wasn’t going to let Jake McCall bully her. If he thought she was going to roll over and play dead, he was wrong. Catherine St. John was a fighter. Jake McCall had himself to thank for that.
Early the next morning Catherine put her bag in the passenger side of her car. She hesitated only a moment before walking around and getting behind the wheel.
She’d called Douglas last night to tell him that she’d found Matthew. She and Douglas Anders had been dating for a while, long enough to talk about marriage, and Catherine had wanted him to know that Matthew was safe.
He’d been supportive when she had called, had even offered to drive her to the airport, then only seconds later mentioned that he’d have to rearrange an important meeting. Catherine had felt that the offer hadn’t really been sincere, but she’d shrugged it off. She was used to Douglas putting his work first.
She’d admired his dedication to his job when she’d first met him and now reminded herself that his job as a stockbroker was demanding. He was a dependable man, someone steady in her life after being alone for so long.
She had told Douglas that she’d probably be back by late evening, and now she hoped it wasn’t wishful thinking. She wasn’t leaving Matthew at Jake’s, no matter what it took. Her son was coming home with her.
Catherine started the engine, then backed out of the driveway. She switched on the air conditioner as she started toward the airport. Since it was early in the morning, the car began to cool instantly. However, it did little to relieve the anxiety Catherine felt building inside her. The last thing she wanted to do was to face Jake after all these years, after all the heartache he’d given her.
She pushed her hand through her hair, brushing it off her shoulder and behind her back. The memories came rushing back at her as if only days had passed instead of thirteen years.
Jake McCall had been her first and only true love. Her father had never allowed her a boyfriend while she was living at home, so she’d had little experience when it came to boys. She hadn’t been prepared for her reaction to Jake when she met him. She’d known soon after she met Jake that she had lost her heart to him.
She’d first seen him during her second semester of college. He’d been a couple of years older, and there was something about Jake McCall that attracted her attention. In fact, he drew a lot of attention from girls. He was tall and there was a certain ruggedness about him. She’d heard that he was from a ranching family, which was evident by his muscular arms and trim body. With dark-brown hair and brown eyes, he was rogue handsome.
He’d been so serious about school, not into partying like a lot of the other kids. Even from afar, before she’d even met Jake, Catherine had admired that about him.
She’d never dreamed that Jake McCall would take a second look at her. But he’d approached her after one of her classes, and they’d spent the afternoon walking in a park and chatting. Later they’d gone to a restaurant and talked away the night. They had seen each other every day after that, neither of them wanting to be with anyone else. The more she was with Jake, the more Catherine wanted to be with him.
Trying to shake memories of Jake from her mind, Catherine switched on the radio as she headed down the interstate toward the airport. She’d called and arranged a flight as soon as she’d hung up with Jake last night, then she’d called him back to let him know when to expect her.
After parking her car in the long-term lot, Catherine made her way to the ticket area, then proceeded to the departure gate. She’d timed her arrival well and only had to wait about fifteen minutes before the airline attendant called her flight.
A mixture of relief and trepidation filled Catherine when she arrived in San Luis. All she could think about was driving as fast as she could to Jake’s ranch. Though she told herself that she had nothing to worry about, she felt like a bucket of nerves as she stood waiting for her turn to leave her seat.
Catherine retrieved her bag from the overhead compartment and followed the trail of people ahead of her off the airplane, mentally calculating the time it would take to make the drive ahead of her. She’d gotten the directions from Jake earlier and hoped she wouldn’t get lost. From what Jake said, it wouldn’t take terribly long.
Upon entering the terminal, Catherine’s eyes were drawn to the big man leaning nonchalantly against the wall across the small walkway. She started to look past him, then her gaze was pulled back to him of its own will. Her heart shifted and a chill ran down her spine. He had on a black cowboy hat and snug blue jeans that hugged his hips. Small drops of water dripped from his Stetson and dotted his white cotton shirt.
Jake.
As soon as Catherine recognized him, she stopped dead in her tracks. Someone bumped into her, and she barely caught herself, then stepped aside. When she looked up, the full force of Jake’s attention staggered her. A freight train would have caused less of an impact.
Jake’s gaze traveled lazily over her, from her head to her toes, then back up to her face. He never for one moment gave her a hint of what he was thinking. Catherine wished she looked as calm, but she knew better. She was trembling all over. Surely he could tell.
Catherine still hadn’t moved when Jake easily shifted his weight away from the wall and moved toward her. She stood frozen, unable to do anything but watch him slowly make his way in her direction. He stopped in front of her, and she immediately resented the fact that his mere presence robbed her of the ability to breathe.
His granite expression startled her, as did the distant look in his dark-brown eyes—eyes that she remembered being warm and loving. It shocked her to see that he’d changed so much.
He stared at her silently for more than a moment, then tipped his hat up just a bit, leaving his face slightly shadowed.
“Catherine.”
On the trip out to pick her up, Jake had worked on how to respond to seeing Catherine after all this time. He told himself to use her given name when referring to her and, as silly as it sounded, he’d even practiced doing so. Anger wasn’t something he usually had to work at defusing. Unlike his brother Ryder, Jake wasn’t prone to flying off the handle. It took a lot to provoke him.
But, dammit, he was angry with Catherine for keeping his son from him, and he would use any means at his disposal to keep his guard up. He wasn’t going to go easy on her now. He had to admit that he was tempted, seeing that she looked scared and over-wrought. It would ha
ve been easy to comfort her, to tell her everything would be all right.
But Jake couldn’t do that. He couldn’t be nice to her. He had to keep that edge. His future with his son was at stake, and he wasn’t going to give Catherine any leverage over him.
What Catherine had done had basically ruined his easygoing reputation. Ryder and Ashley had tried to get Jake to calm down and give Catherine a chance to explain why she’d kept his son a secret from him.
But secrets could tear a family apart. Jake found that out when he’d taken over the ranch. And he’d kept his father’s infidelity a secret to himself, rather than see his brothers and sister hurt. He’d never discussed what he knew with them, even when Ryder had kept insisting that there had to be a good reason for Catherine to keep Matthew a secret from Jake.
In the end Jake had agreed to give Catherine a chance to explain why she hadn’t told him about his son, why she had let Jake miss seeing Matthew grow up.
That was before he’d seen her walk off the airplane. Then the anger and frustration settled deeper in his soul.
Jake was pleased that he’d managed not to convey any of the emotions boiling around inside him. He was honest enough to admit to himself that a part of him had been looking forward to seeing Catherine again, but he hadn’t wanted to feel that way, and he resented the fact that he did.
He wasn’t prepared for the sight of her. Dressed in designer jeans and a soft pink shirt, she was still slim, though her body was more womanly, filled out nicely in all the right places. Her hips were gently rounded, her face a bit fuller. She wore her hair shorter, just below her shoulders, its color a rich chocolate-brown. Her features were soft and inviting, her lips sculpted perfectly.
Her breasts, well, damn, Jake thought, they’d filled out as well, and he couldn’t stop his gaze from resting on them a moment longer than necessary. Catherine had never been small. Jake could remember how firm her breasts had been when he’d last touched them and found himself wondering how they would feel now.
Before he let himself go farther down that road, he hauled his wayward thoughts back. Jake didn’t like the way his body immediately responded to Catherine. The last thing he wanted was to feel any kind of attraction to her. That was dangerous territory, and he knew he had to steer clear of it if he was going to keep his mind sharp. Something told him he’d need every ounce of his mental faculties when dealing with her.
Three
Though last night Catherine had wanted Jake to use her full name, she was taken aback by the aloofness of his tone. The way he said it made her shiver with apprehension. She stared at him and swallowed past the lump in her throat. Tears stung her eyes as she thought of the gentle, loving young man she’d known so many years ago. There was no trace of him in the hard, distant person standing before her.
“Jake,” she whispered, an ache in her heart appearing out of nowhere. There was disappointment and sadness in her voice. Too many years had passed since she’d seen Jake. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to know. She wanted to ask about broken promises, wanted to know why he had discarded her love and broken her heart.
“What…what are you doing here?” was all she managed to get out, and she decided that she should be thankful that she sounded remotely normal. “I thought I told you that I was renting a car. I’d planned on driving out to get Matthew.”
“You did,” he acknowledged, his clipped tone cutting her no slack. He hooked his arms together across his chest.
Catherine was having a bit of trouble following their conversation. “Then why are you here?” she asked again. Her brows wrinkled.
“I decided to save you the trouble.”
He reached toward her, and Catherine braced herself for his touch. Her heart skipped several beats. Jake took her bag from her and easily lifted it. A shock of disappointment rocked through her.
Well, what had she expected? He wasn’t likely to embrace her, now, was he? And it was ridiculous for her to even entertain such a notion.
But the memories that had assailed her last night had continued to this very moment. Catherine had wondered if Jake would look anything the way she remembered. While she’d recognized him instantly, there was little about him that reminded her of the young man she’d once loved with all her heart and innocence.
“That isn’t necessary.” As if he hadn’t understood her plans, she explained once again. “I’ve already made arrangements to rent a car. I’d like to get on the road back to Lubbock as soon as possible.” She waited for him to acknowledge her words, but he remained quiet, his gaze boring into her. “I told you that, on the telephone last night,” she reminded him when he continued to stare at her without speaking.
Catherine looked at his face and decided the years had been good to Jake. Too good. Though tiny lines creased the corners of his brown eyes and bracketed his mouth, his face was lean and tanned. Irritation swept through her. She would have preferred him to be balding and fat.
Not a chance. Apparently, years of working on his ranch had perfected his physique, giving him muscles and a rock-hard body that Douglas spent hours in a health club trying to achieve.
“I thought if I picked you up we could discuss the situation on the way to the ranch,” he said, then nodded his head. “This way.” He stood aside and waited.
Catherine didn’t move. The last thing she wanted was to give Jake the idea that they were going to discuss what was best for Matthew. It wasn’t up for debate. “I’m here to get my son. He should never have come here.”
Jake’s gaze swung back at her, and his eyes met hers with deadly force. “You’re wrong about that,” he replied, his tone unnervingly calm. “Matt is my son. Mine. And he has every right to be here.”
It took every ounce of her courage for Catherine to hold her ground and not back away from Jake. “You don’t even know him, Jake,” she declared defensively.
Jake’s expression turned colder. “And whose fault is that?” he demanded. When Catherine didn’t answer, he said, “Look, we can have this out right here for all of San Luis to see, or we can talk in private. It’s up to you. Right now I don’t really give a damn. But I’ll warn you that my temper is at a boiling point. You can continue to push me if you want, but you might not like the end result.”
He stared at her, his expression unforgiving, and Catherine thought his heart would be just as hard to reach. If she was going to make any ground with Jake, she was going to have to work for it.
It was in her favor to at least be civil with him. She didn’t want a fight for her son on her hands. She wanted her son plain and simple. She was going to do whatever she had to do to bring Matthew back home where he belonged.
Catherine had a bad feeling that no matter what she said, Jake wasn’t going to like it. Still she didn’t want to let him get the upper hand. “I don’t know,” she said, looking around them and realizing that they were drawing the attention of some of the people in the small airport. “I prefer to have my own transportation.”
She started walking away from him but knew without looking behind her that Jake was following. When they neared the desk for the rental agency, she heard him call her name.
Catherine stopped and swung back toward him. For a brief moment he sounded like the young man she’d once known and loved, and the years dropped away as if they’d never happened. Yet, all she had to do was to meet his intense gaze and she realized again how much he had changed.
There was a hard edge to him now that hadn’t been there years ago. His demeanor was remote, his eyes distrustful. Catherine’s heart softened. What had his life been like? she wondered.
Catherine immediately put a damper on those thoughts. She couldn’t afford to let down her guard where Jake was concerned.
“You really don’t need a car. I’ll bring you back as soon as you’re ready to leave.”
He looked as if he meant it, but Catherine was still filled with apprehension. She didn’t know Jake now. He was nothing like the young m
an she’d fallen in love with. He’d hurt her once before. Nothing had changed. She had no reason to trust him.
Maybe he’s thinking the same thing about you.
The thought jarred her. Was that what Jake was thinking about her? That she couldn’t be trusted? Did she even care? After she retrieved her son, there would be no more contact between her and Jake. Perhaps the best thing was for them both to start over. Maybe she should make the first effort by accepting his offer to drive her, she thought. After all, he had made the trip to pick her up. The least she could do was to accept graciously.
“I’ll ride to your ranch to pick up Matthew if you promise to bring me back to the airport without an argument,” she stated, then waited for his reply.
Jake hesitated a moment, then nodded. “You have my word.”
Catherine wanted to believe Jake. She told herself that she had nothing to worry about. The ride from San Luis to Crockett, where Jake’s ranch was located, wouldn’t take that long. She could stand being alone with him for the time it would take to pick up her son. The quick return trip to the airport would be worth it. With luck she and Matthew would be home before midnight.
As they stepped outside they were showered with pellets of water. It was a heavy downpour, and wind and rain whipped at their faces.
“Wait inside,” Jake instructed, then pushed her back through the door.
Catherine watched him make his way to a white Suburban. He tossed her bag in the back, then got in behind the wheel. A minute later he pulled up to the curb. Before she’d gotten out of the door, he was at her side and ushering her to the truck, blocking as much of the rain as he could with his big body.
Catherine was relieved when he closed the door behind her. She hadn’t had time to think about having Jake so close to her, and she didn’t like the way her heart hammered when he’d touched her back.
He slipped behind the wheel before she had a chance to take a deep breath. His nearness was having an unwelcome effect on her body. Catherine hoped the ride wouldn’t take long. When she’d agreed to let him drive her, she hadn’t thought about being alone in such close quarters.
A Cowboy, a Bride & a Wedding Vow Page 3