“It doesn’t matter anymore,” she said, then abruptly pushed out of his arms and away from him. “I don’t know why I told you all that, except that you caught me at a bad moment,” she insisted. “I’ve learned to live with it.”
Jake figured it must have been tough for Catie, but he wasn’t ready to let his heart soften toward her. She still hadn’t explained why she’d kept Matthew a secret from him.
“Twelve years is a long time, Catie. Don’t you think you could have found time to tell me about Matthew during that time?” She shot him a look then, full of guilt or remorse, he wasn’t sure which.
“You know I tried to contact you. I even left messages at your house.”
Jake nodded. “That was when you first found out?” he asked pointedly. She nodded. “What about later? What stopped you from calling me sometime during the twelve years my son was growing up?”
Catherine bit at her bottom lip as she contemplated her thoughts. “When I got the letter from you—”
“You know I didn’t send that letter,” Jake interrupted, his tone insistent as he began to rebuild his defenses toward her.
“Regardless, Jake, I thought you did. You need to try and understand how I felt. I believed you didn’t want anything to do with me. I wasn’t going to force myself or my son on you.”
Jake looked over at the lake, his expression solemn. “I wish I’d known. I would have been a part of his life. I’ve missed so much, so many years that I can never get back.” Inside, he couldn’t seem to let it go.
“I know.” Catherine started to touch him, then instinct stopped her.
“Matthew is the most important thing in my life now. I’m not going to let you keep him from me any longer.” It sounded like a warning. Jake intended it to. Regardless of the fact that they were attracted to each other, that they’d made love, Jake wasn’t going to let anything, or anyone, not even Catie, come between him and his son.
“Oh, Jake, I know that,” she whispered. “Whatever happens, I want you and Matthew to spend time together.”
Whatever happens. Jake took that statement for what it was worth. If a summer fling was what Catie wanted, he was going to oblige her.
He leaned down and brushed his mouth over hers. The kiss, which began as a light meeting of their lips quickly became much more. Jake had to pull away. Kissing Catie wasn’t the only thing he wanted to do with her at that moment.
“I guess we’d better get back before someone comes looking for us.”
She licked her lips, then nodded. Together they walked toward the horses who were grazing nearby. Jake made sure Catie had no trouble mounting Flo, then he whistled. His horse obediently trotted over to him, and he swiftly climbed up on him.
Catherine let Jake lead the way, following closely behind him. She’d told Jake that she could handle an affair. Now she just had to prove it. Making love with him had only reassured her of how much she loved him. Was it wrong to relish every moment she could have with him, knowing that in a few weeks she’d be going back home and leaving her heart here?
Catherine sighed deeply. Her heart had been terribly bruised once by this man. She had never expected to fall in love with Jake again.
When they arrived at the barn, Jake dismounted, then held Catie’s horse for her. “Let’s get you inside,” he said. Before they took a step, Matthew came running up to them.
“Hey Mom, Dad, guess what—” He stopped speaking and his eyes widened. “Mom, what happened?” he asked, then darted a questioning look at Jake.
“It’s nothing,” Catherine said in a rush to reassure her son. “Jake and I were riding through some trees, and a branch hit me. That’s all. It needs a little cleaning.”
Matthew didn’t look quite convinced. “Does it hurt?” he asked, and he looked worried.
Jake was proud of his son at that moment. When Matt had first come to the ranch, he’d been so afraid that Catie would take him home that he was angry with her for a while. Since he learned he could stay for the summer, he’d gradually let down his guard. He was genuinely concerned about his mother.
“We’re on our way up to the house to do just that, Matt. How about taking care of the horses for us?”
“Sure.” Matt smiled and eagerly took the reins.
Jake and Catherine started for the house. As soon as they entered, they ran into Lynn. She took one look at Jake and stated, “I swear that man is the most disagreeable, ill-tempered man I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing.” She yanked off her gloves and slapped them against her thigh.
Jake’s gaze darted to Catherine. “Russ.”
Catherine’s brows lifted as Lynn continued her tirade.
“He thinks he knows everything. And he thinks I’m incapable of learning the smallest of tasks. I don’t know how much longer I can put up with him. He’s so—” Her gaze went to Catherine’s neck. “What on earth happened to you?” she cried, her own problem temporarily forgotten.
“I had a run-in with a tree branch while Jake and I were out riding,” Catherine stated.
Lynn moved nearer to get a better look. “I’ll say you did. That must really hurt.”
Catherine nodded, remembering how much it had hurt until Jake had started kissing her and licking it with his tongue. The pain from her cut had been easily forgotten as he’d awakened every sensual nerve ending in her body. She tried not to blush, but her cheeks reddened slightly. “It does,” she admitted.
“What’s going on?” Ashley asked, coming from the hallway and stopping beside them. She had a baby on each hip.
“Catherine got hurt while riding,” Lynn told her, taking one of the babies and cuddling her. She kissed the top of Melissa’s head.
Ashley saw the red welts. “Oh, my goodness! Catherine, come into the bathroom, and I’ll help you clean that.”
Jake grabbed Catherine by the arm. “You look busy. I’ll do it,” he told the two women. Before they could answer, he dragged Catherine from the room, leaving Lynn and Ashley standing in the foyer with surprised looks on their faces.
“Whoa,” Lynn commented, raising her blond eyebrows and rolling her eyes. “Did you get a whiff of that testosterone?” She grinned.
“Sure did,” Ashley agreed, smiling. Her gaze met Lynn’s. “The next few weeks should prove to be quite interesting.”
Lynn nodded, and the two women shared a knowing look.
Ten
Catherine heard the shower running in the bathroom between her room and Jake’s. It had been over a week since they’d made love, and her body seemed to be craving his. Jake and Ryder had been out with some of the ranch hands hunting a wild animal that had attacked cattle grazing in the north pasture.
Instead of returning home every day, they’d camped out until they’d tracked the animal down. Finally, this evening, they’d rode in, and Catherine had been so relieved to see Jake. Only she hadn’t been able to throw her arms around him as Ashley had with Ryder.
Catherine had been worried about Jake, but she’d limited herself to discussing his safety along with that of Ryder’s when talking about how dangerous it was to be out with rifles in the dark wilderness.
Ashley and Lynn had assured her that the men were fine, that this was a part of ranch life, but to Catherine’s way of thinking, that didn’t matter. She’d wanted Jake to come home safely.
Now he was naked in the shower, and she wondered if she was brave enough to do what she was thinking. She quickly unbuttoned her blouse and slipped it off. The rest of her clothes were shed in a hurry, before she lost her nerve.
She’d told Jake she could handle an affair. It didn’t matter now whether she could or not. She wanted to be with him, even though they only had a short while before she had to leave. Jake hadn’t seemed opposed to the idea. If he was, she was going to make a big fool of herself.
With her hand shaking, she tried the bathroom door. Relief washed over her when she realized he hadn’t locked it. As she stepped in, steam engulfed her. She took a deep breath,
then moved the shower curtain aside.
“Jake?”
“Catie.” Jake stepped from beneath the spray, his expression momentarily one of surprise. Shock quickly gave way to desire. His eyes widened appreciatively as he stared at her naked body. He didn’t say a word as he held his hand out to her.
Catherine hesitated a moment, her gaze sliding over his hard-muscled chest, down his flat belly, but before she could look further, he reached for her, drawing her into the shower and against him. Water ran freely over them. He was hard against her, making her feel powerful and seductive.
“Ah, Catie,” he whispered, then his mouth lowered to hers. Catherine lost her breath as he kissed her deeply. She clung to him as his tongue caressed hers. Erotic thoughts raced through her mind as his hands glided along her back. She sighed with pleasure as he grasped her buttocks and pressed her intimately against him.
“I guess it’s okay that I surprised you, huh?” she asked when his mouth finally released hers.
“You can surprise me like this anytime,” Jake answered, his voice raw with desire as his gaze met hers. His hand slid up and down her back, sending her nerve endings into a frenzy. “You feel wonderful.”
“You do, too.” She slipped her hands over his broad shoulders and around his neck as she lifted her lips and placed kisses along his mouth and neck. “I was worried about you,” she confessed.
Jake grunted as her tongue grazed his. “It took a lot longer than we thought it would,” he told her, capturing her mouth beneath his for a moment, nipping her bottom lip with his teeth. His hand found her breast, and he grazed the hard peak of her nipple with his thumb. “I thought about doing this to you the whole time I was away.”
“You did, huh?” she asked, then she moaned when he lowered his mouth and captured her breast with his lips. He sucked on her hungrily.
“Yeah,” he answered. “I wanted to touch you like this.” He ran his finger down her middle and between her legs. “And like this.” He slipped his finger into her and she arched her body against his hand.
“Oh, Jake.” Catie felt her world slip a little. Jake had the power to make her wish she could have him for a lifetime. “Mmm, Jake, that feels so good.”
“What about this?” he asked. He kissed her other breast, sucking her nipple greedily, then ran his tongue along her belly. He dropped to his knees and looked up at her.
Catie felt her legs go weak. “I think we’d better get out of here before I can’t move at all.”
“In a minute,” he promised. His warm tongue touched her, and Catherine’s head fell back as her world exploded right then and there.
“Jake.”
After a moment he stood and faced her. “Turn around,” he commanded, then helped her with his hands on her shoulders. He kissed her neck as he ran his hands along her rib cage, then cupped her breasts. Catherine pushed against him and he grunted with gratification.
“You’re killing me,” he whispered in her ear, his tongue slipping out to trace the pink shell. His teeth nibbled her lobe. Her hips rocked back against him and he groaned. “Mmm, Catie, I think you’re right.” He leaned over and turned the faucet off. “I can’t wait much longer. I want to be inside you.”
Catherine started to grab a towel, but Jake prevented her. “Let me,” he whispered, wrapping a towel around his waist. She stood docilely as he gently rubbed the soft fabric over her body. Never before in her life had Catherine believed that something as simple as drying her body could be so sensually awakening. Her entire being felt as if it was on fire.
Jake dried her hair, then ran the towel down her back. He watched her as he moved it between her legs. Ripples of pleasure shot through her, and Catherine had to brace herself by putting her hands on his shoulders. “Jake, please.”
He rose to stand beside her, his gaze locked with hers as he dried the remaining water from his body. He threw the towel to the floor, then pulled her toward him. Before she could say anything, he swept her into his arms and carried her to his bedroom. Together they fell on the bed. Jake rolled over on his back and pulled Catherine on top of him.
Spreading her body over his, Catherine writhed against his manhood, and he hardened even more. She kissed his chest as she raised herself above him. Then he was inside her, and her whole world seem to shatter. There was no buildup of desire, just fireworks rocketing through her body.
Catherine moved her hips, and Jake pushed deeper into her. She sighed as a million lights burst into a display of colors in her mind. Unable to remain upright, she fell across him and his arms surrounded her.
She found his mouth, and their tongues intertwined as Jake grasped her buttocks, his touch urgent as he sought his own release. She shuddered, her body quivering with erotic pleasure as his muscles tensed.
She loved this man with all of her heart. And in a couple of weeks she was going to have to leave him.
“Are you going to take a break all day or do you plan on doing any work?” Jake demanded, his gaze raking his brother Ryder as he leaned casually against the fence post. They’d been repairing the roof on one of the barns for the past two days. At the rate they were going, they’d be at it all day tomorrow unless, as Jake saw it, Ryder got off his butt and started working.
“What the hell is your problem, big brother?” Ryder demanded, casting Jake a sharp, observant look. “You’ve been as cantankerous as a rodeo bull all morning.” He swigged down cold water from a thermos, then capped it.
“Nothing’s the matter,” Jake denied, his tone biting.
Ryder eyed his brother speculatively. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with Catherine and Matthew leaving in a few days, would it?”
Jake’s gaze met Ryder’s. “No, it wouldn’t.” His denial came too quickly, and his brother arched one brow.
“Yeah, right.” Ryder shoved away from the fence and approached Jake. “What are you going to do?”
“About what?” Jake asked, not willing to get into a personal conversation about Catie. The fact that she was leaving soon had been eating at him for the past week. He’d gotten too used to having her around—too used to having her in his bed. They’d managed to make love together every night since that day in the shower. In a houseful of people, that was quite an accomplishment to keep secret.
Exasperated, Ryder took a deep breath. “About Matthew. Are you going to let Catherine take him back to Lubbock?”
“What choice do I have?” Jake said, leaning an arm against the fence. “I asked Catherine to let him stay the summer and she did. I can’t ask her to let him live here.”
Actually, he’d wrestled with the thought of doing just that. He wanted his son on his ranch. He didn’t want another day to pass, when his son would grow and change, without being close enough to enjoy it. Watching Catherine leave was going to be hard enough. He didn’t want to lose Matthew, too.
“You could ask Catherine to stay,” Ryder commented, then slanted a look in his brother’s direction.
“That’s not going to happen,” Jake stated firmly.
“So you haven’t gotten over the fact that she didn’t tell you about Matthew?” Ryder asked pointedly.
Jake grunted. “You think I should forget that she kept my son a secret from me for twelve years?” Sleeping with Catherine, making love to her, hadn’t softened Jake’s stance on how he felt about her keeping Matthew from him for so long. Jake had tried, really tried, but he couldn’t seem to let it go. Just as he couldn’t forget about what his father had done.
“What purpose does it serve to continue to be angry about it?” Ryder asked.
Jake glared at his brother. “You don’t have any idea what it feels like to have someone lie to you like that.”
Ryder tugged at his mustache with his fingers. “Ashley kept her pregnancy a secret from me. I seemed to have learned to live with that,” he reminded Jake.
“That isn’t the same thing,” Jake told him, wondering what Ryder would think, how he’d feel, if he knew the truth about t
heir father. If he did, maybe he would understand why Jake wasn’t able to forget, or forgive, what Catie had done.
Ryder frowned. “As I see it, it’s exactly the same thing.” There was something in his brother’s eyes, a deep sadness that Ryder didn’t think had anything to do with Catherine. “What aren’t you telling me?” he asked.
Jake turned his back and started to pick up a piece of plywood. “Lay off. You don’t want to know.”
Without meaning to, Jake had piqued Ryder’s curiosity. “What the hell is eating at you? It’s more than what Catherine did, isn’t it?” he pressed. Jake didn’t say anything, and Ryder swore. “Dammit, Jake, talk to me.”
Jake swung around and faced Ryder. “I’m not your brother—only your half brother,” he stated harshly. All the hurt and anguish Jake had been feeling for years was revealed in his dejected tone.
Ryder shook his head, confusion forming his expression. His eyes questioned Jake’s statement. “Now I know you’re losing it, big brother.”
Jake murmured, “It’s the truth, Ryder. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”
Ryder looked at Jake as if he had two heads. “What in the devil are you talking about?”
Jake was quiet for a minute, then he said, “I didn’t want you to know. I still don’t want you to—” He hesitated, then gave in to Ryder’s determined expression. There wasn’t any way to get out of this now. “I know this is going to hurt, and I don’t mean to do that.” He waited a moment, then stated, “Dad had an affair with a woman who lived in San Antonio while he was married to Mom. Apparently, the woman got pregnant with me.”
“You’re crazy. Where did you hear that?” Ryder demanded. His hands coiled into fists.
“It’s true,” Jake said, aware that his brother was seething. Jake knew how he felt. He’d experienced the same kind of rage when he’d found out. It would be even harder for Ryder to understand. He had shared a special bond with their mother.
“Mom wouldn’t have stood for that.”
A Cowboy, a Bride & a Wedding Vow Page 13