“Wyatt tell you already?”
“Hello, Josh. How are you? Yes, he told me, you dork. However temporary, she’s one of my Crew. How credible do you think this is?”
“I believe her story. Whether or not all these calls she’s been getting are related, I have no idea.”
“Do you think we ought to have someone stay with her tonight? DeShawn or one of your guys?”
“No. I’m right next door. Nothing’s really happened except some phone calls.”
“Okay. So, what’s the deal here?”
“Deal?”
“With you and your cute next-door neighbor? She gets a few weird phone calls and you’re up on your white horse?”
Josh scowled at the phone. “I think you are imagining things. Take off those rose-colored glasses you’ve been wearing.”
“Cut the crap, Josh. Wyatt told me how worried you sounded about her. He might not know how out of character that is for you, but I do. You care about her. And her kid.”
“She’s a nice person. She’s in a bad spot. I can help. That doesn’t mean anything. I liked you better before you fell in love and got all Hallmark Channel.”
“Screw you, Josh.”
“There’s the Sadie I know.”
“Yeah, and this Sadie also knows you love nothing more than trying to change the subject when it starts hitting too close to home. Insult away. You like her.”
“Doesn’t matter. None of that matters, Sadie. And I’m really not in the mood to get into with you right now, okay?”
“Okay. Fine. What have you decided about Kim?”
“I’m hanging up on you now.”
He jabbed at the end-call button. Problem with Sadie was she knew how to go straight to his sore spots. And she was always right. That’s what really pissed him off. Because he did care about Mickie. And the kid. But none of that mattered. He was the problem here. Especially with Mickie, who’d already suffered at the hands of a monster. The fear in her eyes was identical to the fear he’d seen in Ruby’s.
This is the choice you’ve made. That monster is inside you, man. You can never take the risk.
* * *
“I FEEL STUPID about this. I’m sorry I got everyone worried. It’s probably nothing.”
Mickie rubbed the palms of her hands against her thighs. Wyatt shifted in the chair and glanced over at Josh. “Can you give us some privacy, Josh?”
Mickie felt Josh’s gaze move over her and bowed her head. This was so embarrassing.
“Sure,” Josh said, standing. He took a few steps toward the door. Stopped. His fingers closed gently on Mickie’s shoulder. “Be honest with him, Mickie. Tell him everything. You can’t keep living like this.”
Unshed tears clogged her throat and she managed a nod. After Josh closed the office door behind him, Wyatt leaned forward and plucked Mickie’s hand from its nervous rubbing. “I want you to know, this is completely confidential. I won’t tell Josh or Sadie or anyone anything without your permission, okay?”
“I know. Thank you. It’s just... I don’t know. He should still be in prison. He was sentenced to ten years. It’s barely been two. He couldn’t be out already, could he?”
Wyatt let go of her hand with a shrug. “Who knows these days? Let me check it out for you. At least we’ll know what we’re dealing with.”
Yeah, that was the problem. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know. Part of her wanted to keep believing in the system. That she was safe for ten years. That the authorities would remember to notify her parents when he was released. But they’d let him out early once before. With no warning to her or her parents.
“Start at the beginning,” Wyatt said quietly.
The beginning? In the beginning she was a stupid, sheltered, lonely only child who’d tried to be a grown-up by moving to the big city for college. Who’d met an older man who was charming and handsome and loved her completely.
“My real name isn’t Michael Phillips. I changed it. Picked a male name to add one more layer of protection.”
“Smart. You a Stones fan, I take it?”
She smiled at that. People rarely got the reference. “That was for my dad. He is a huge Mick Jagger fan.”
Wyatt picked up a notepad and pen. “Tell me.”
“My real name is Samantha Erickson. So I guess all the police reports and stuff will have that name.”
For some reason, once that truth was out, the rest was easy. She told the story feeling somewhat detached, as if it had happened to someone else. The initial descent into the controlling, abusive behavior. The isolation from friends and family. The first brutal attack. The move home, pregnant and alone. The attack at the hospital. All the names. All the dates. She watched, numb, as Wyatt scribbled it all down.
“And then I ran as far away as possible,” she said. “And have been running ever since.”
Wyatt’s green eyes met hers and a weak smile trembled at the corners of her mouth. Sadie was a lucky lady. “You tired of running?”
She slumped in the chair. “Yeah.”
Tucking the notepad into his laptop case, Wyatt nodded. “We’ll help you. I’ll check all this out and get back to you as soon as possible. Meanwhile, I want you to let Josh know if you don’t feel safe. Promise? No more not wanting to ‘bother’ people?”
“I promise.”
* * *
AFTER WYATT LEFT, Josh shut the front door and turned to Mickie. He gently cupped his hand against her cheek and turned her face up to look into her eyes. “You okay?”
She made a face. “Yes. No. I don’t know. I’m all jumbled up right now.”
Jumbled up. Yeah. “I know the feeling.”
“What are you jumbled up about?”
You. Me. Kimmie. The past. The future. The now. He let his hand drop away from the warmth of her cheek. “First thing we’re going to do is keep this front door locked while you are on duty alone here. I’ll tell the guys. They can come around to the back so you can see who you are letting in.”
Crossing her arms against her chest, she frowned up at him. “Don’t be making a fuss about this, Josh. Really.”
“Too bad. Don’t worry, I’ll tell them there was a burglary in the neighborhood so we’re tightening up a little. Second thing—is Ian’s day care safe? Do they know?”
That got him a smile. “Day cares have pretty strict rules. Only person besides me who can take Ian out is Tiana. I made her my emergency backup person. The doors are locked and you have to show ID to be buzzed in.”
The relief that flooded him was unexpected. “Okay. Yeah, that’s good.”
“Josh.”
Her voice was sweet and tender and stirred some long forgotten feeling within him. Going up on tiptoes, she slid her arms over his shoulders and around his neck, pulling him close and tight.
“Thank you for worrying about us,” she whispered in his ear.
As he slipped his hands around her waist and up her rib cage to enfold her in his arms, he was acutely aware of how tiny she was. How had she survived a grown man beating her? He lowered his head to press his cheek against hers and breathed in the scent of her hair. The corners of his mouth twitched up in a smile. He could have stayed here, in her arms, doing nothing but smelling her hair and feeling her heart beat against his chest, forever. In her arms, all the noise in his head went away. A peacefulness that usually took a long yoga class and meditation came instantly when he was with her.
He stepped back suddenly. No. Catching her by the shoulders, he steadied her from the wobble his sudden move caused. “We can’t keep doing this, Mickie.”
Looking down at the floor, she took a deep breath and nodded. “You’re right,” she said, looking back up at him. “This is not the time, or the place. I care about you Josh, I really do. But I need to concen
trate on Ian and school. You have your issue with your sister to deal with. We both need to get our lives straight before we think about...”
Her words trailed off and her cheeks went pink. The cold logic of her words, the way she held herself tall and straight, arms folded against her stomach, contrasted with the pink on her cheeks. She cared about him? Shit. It was one thing for him to start having feelings and get hurt, he was used to that. The idea of hurting her made his skin crawl.
Mirroring her stance, he crossed his arms against his middle. “Exactly. We had a deal. And we’ve both been guilty of renegotiation. But both of us need to stop now. Agreed? Back to just friends?”
She held out a hand and he shook it. “Deal,” she said.
Deal. Good. That’s dealt with. So why did it hurt when she turned and walked away?
CHAPTER NINETEEN
THERE WAS HARDLY any stress that a good two hours in a gym couldn’t cure. Arms and legs still shaky, his abdomen burning with every move, Josh felt clearer as he rode home. The best thing with Mickie was to let it go. Leave her alone. Stop playing this game they’d been playing. Because she was beginning to think it was real.
The lights were off in her side of the duplex when he walked around to his front door after stowing the bike. Good. He wouldn’t hear her voice through the walls. After throwing a frozen burrito in the microwave, he grabbed a bag of corn chips and a bottle of water. Deciding to dine formally tonight, he put the chips in a bowl and dumped the burrito on a plate. He tucked the water under his arm and carried his feast to the living room, where he flopped down on the couch and clicked on Netflix. He needed a movie. Something thin on plot and thick with explosions and noise. The opening credits hadn’t even finished rolling when his phone vibrated on the coffee table. He snagged it with his fingertips, wincing at the burn in his triceps, and looked at the number. A frown creased his forehead. This was unexpected. He paused the movie.
“Mr. Gathers. Is everything okay?”
“Oh, sure. I was checking in on you. Making sure you’re okay after our talk. That was a lot for you to take in at once.”
“Yes, sir. I’m okay. Still trying to process it all and figure things out.”
“Did you go see your parents?”
He hesitated. He’d been trying not to think about that. He had contacted the cemetery management and was beginning the process of hacking away at twenty years of red tape and legal mumbo-jumbo to get permission to move his mother’s remains to another spot. And a proper headstone. His father could stay where he was. Alone and forgotten. But his mother had tried. She’d been even younger than Mickie. With two kids. She’d tried. And deserved some honor and respect for that.
“Yes, I did.”
“Ah. I was going to offer to go with you in case you hadn’t. I was worried about it after you left. Worried you’d go straight there and it would be too much.”
Josh stood, ignoring his protesting sore muscles. Pacing to the kitchen and back, he pressed a hand against the wetness that was forming in his eyes. He felt...strange. An odd unfamiliar sense of warmth welling up inside him took his breath away for a moment.
“Son? You okay?”
It was that word son spoken in that voice. That voice sounding like everything good and strong in this world brought the emotion to life. Grateful. He was grateful for this man, who cared for him in spite of the years. In spite of the distance. In spite of merely being the cop who answered the call that night. You’ve been on my heart all these years. Mr. Gathers’ words came back to him.
“Yes, sir. I’m okay. I’m just...” A small laugh escaped him. “I’m... Thank you for caring about me.”
“Ah, shoot. That ain’t no hardship. I’m real sorry I didn’t follow up on you all those years ago.”
“You had your wife to care for,” Josh said. “It helped a lot that you even remembered me. I don’t know how to explain it, but that someone from before knows me, it makes me feel...”
His words trailed off. How did it make him feel?
“Validated?”
“Close. A friend from foster care, she went with me to the graves, she said when she confronted her mother, she realized she’d felt invisible all her life and to have the mother who abandoned her see her, made her feel visible.”
“That makes sense. Sounds like you have a good friend there, Josh.”
“Yeah. We sort of adopted each other. She’s my sister and I’m her brother. We’ve come a long way together.”
“Good. Good. I had another reason for calling. A little more selfish. I was wondering if you could come out here some weekend. Your visit got me thinking and there are some other things I’d like to talk to you about, but I don’t want to do it on the phone. This is kind of a sit-on-the-porch-in-a-rocking-chair talk.”
“Oh, okay. Sure. That would be great. What’s best for you?”
After they’d decided on a date and time, Josh slumped down on the couch. He turned the movie back on, but couldn’t keep his mind on it. What else could Mr. Gathers have to tell him? He smiled. Most likely nothing. He was a retired cop living alone out in the middle of nowhere. Probably wanted company. And that was fine with him. He felt he’d found, not a friend, but maybe someone to be to him what Abuelito had been to Sadie. A grandfather figure.
He grabbed the phone to call Sadie, but frowned at the time. It was getting late. He didn’t know if she was at home or staying at Wyatt’s. He put the phone down. Returning to the kitchen to rewarm his cold burrito, he found himself listening for any sounds from Mickie’s half of the duplex. Silence. His fingers drummed on the countertop and he realized his heart felt light in his chest. Even though his muscles were still screaming, he felt pumped full of restless energy. He wanted to tell someone. Anyone. He’d found a link to his past. A good link.
You’re excited. You want it to be Saturday so you can go visit him. The realization made him laugh out loud. That’s what it was. He grabbed the burrito out of the microwave and returned to the living room. Is this how kids felt before they went to camp or Disney or whatever it was that normal parents did with their kids?
“Dude,” he said out loud. “You’ve lost your mind.”
Still, he was smiling as he turned the movie back on.
* * *
MICKIE STOOD LEANING into the refrigerator, one hand holding the door open, the other gripping the freezer door handle. She stared at the contents. What did I come in here for? Food. Yeah, you need to eat something. Her stomach disagreed. Her stomach was a tight ball of sloshing anxiety. What had she done? Why had she involved Wyatt in this? Did she really want to know the answers?
She grabbed one of Ian’s string cheese packs and shut the door. Biting into the cheese, she made a face as she walked down the hall. What the hell am I feeding him? Ian lay sleeping on his pallet of blankets. Soon, baby man. I’ll get you a real bed soon. Finishing the cheese as she went back to the living room, she plopped in the chair and picked up her phone.
“What’s up, chickie-poo?” Tiana answered.
“I’m scared.” The words came out unbidden. It wasn’t what she had planned to say. To make it worse, she started to cry.
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” Tiana said.
“You don’t have to...”
“Shush. Are you scared like I should tell you to take the baby and go to the hot guy from next door? Or is this some existential scared?”
“I don’t know what existential even means, Tee. But it’s my head. I’ve got a bad head.”
“Well, in that case, I’ll be there in twenty minutes with a nice bottle of wine.”
It was thirty minutes. Mickie knew because she peeked out the curtains at every sweep of headlights. But as soon as Tiana’s car swept up the driveway and Mickie saw her climb out of the car, she felt the fear begin to dissipate. She wasn�
�t alone. That thought brought tears to her eyes.
“Tell me what’s going on, boo,” Tiana said as they settled at the dining room table with glasses of a very nice Chardonnay.
“I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Begin at the beginning.”
“It’s him.”
“That guy? Isn’t he in prison?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. But he’s here.” She tapped her temple. “He’s here all the time. And I let it get to me. I was getting all these unknown calls. And I started jumping at shadows and feeling scared all the time. So I...did something.”
Tiana leaned forward and covered Mickie’s hand with her own. Her dark eyes looked deeply and directly into Mickie’s. “What did you do?”
“Josh knows a private investigator.” The words came out in a whisper. “He agreed to help me. I told him everything. He’s going to check on...things.”
“Okay. That’s good. At least you’ll know, right?”
Mickie took a sip of wine. “I hope it’ll work like that. I hope Wyatt will come back and say he’s still in prison. But I feel I may have asked a question I don’t really want the answer to.”
“Because what if he’s out?”
Mickie went still and pressed her lips together. A creeping, crawling feeling spread from her gut to her arms and she rubbed her hands along the length of her thighs. Because yeah, what if he’s out? “He got ten years,” she said in a hoarse whisper. “It’s only been two.”
Tiana lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “I don’t know, girl. I don’t know how that would even happen.”
“Yeah. I’m probably freaking myself out for nothing.”
“When’s the last time you ate? Real food?”
“This morning?”
Standing, Tiana squeezed Mickie’s shoulder. “Sit right there, momma. I’ll make you some food.” She began rummaging through the fridge and cabinets. “Sounds like you are having some PTSD flashbacks about this.”
Mickie snorted out a laugh. “Ya think?”
Boss on Notice Page 18