I let out a sharp crack of a laugh. "No honey, that was you with the married men you slept with, I'm sure." Fire blossomed over my knuckles like a warning of the blaze yet to come. "So I held his hand while I played tourist. Are you really going to try and bash my head in over that?"
Ursula stopped for a second and thought about it. "Yes, yes I am." In a move faster than I had anticipated she snatched the book off the floor and took a sharp swing at my head.
The book flew out of her hands and landed behind her with a dull thud. Ursula stared at me in confusion which quickly turned to a violent rage, raising her hands to try again in scratching at me. Kayden was immediately behind her, hands holding her upper arms in an immobilizing grasp. I watched, frozen in shock, as he drew her against his chest and held her in place while she kicked and screamed.
"Relax, Ursula, relax," he whispered repeatedly in her ear. "She didn't do anything with him, I promise."
"How would you know?" I sneered and Ursula instantly responded by thrashing even harder than before against Kayden's prison hold. "I don't remember inviting you along."
"Someone has to keep an eye on you and I didn't find pretty boy Leo up for the job," he replied casually, shrugging his shoulders with an alien grace. "You really are terribly bad at the whole 'keeping your powers a secret' thing, you know. Truly, terrible."
"So what?" I retorted bitterly. "Now I need a freaking babysitter every time I don't walk out of the house with you?" I pointed a shaking finger to the struggling body in his arms. "You might as well let her murder me then, because that's exactly what you're doing, Kayden. You're keeping me on a leash I can't even see and sooner or later it's going to choke me."
Ursula had stopped struggling in his arms, reduced to a pile of whimpering sobs. Rivulets of mascara ran down her cheeks and she hung her head against the side of one of his arms. "He's all I have, Kayden, he's all I have."
"Oh please," I groaned with a roll of the eyes. "You'll find another human when he dies, I' sure of it."
"You don't understand!" Her head lifted back up to stare at me, her eyes watery orbs still spilling over her cheeks. "He means everything to me. Imagine living a life where you can't control any desire you've ever had, a life where everything you touch breaks." She took in a shaking breath as her voice warbled to the point of breaking. "Then you've grasped just a fraction of what I've gone through."
"He's one human on your list, Ursula. How is this one different than all the others you loved and killed?" My head shook as I let out a low laugh. If anyone had ever told me I would be seeing the beauty queen of Belfast stand before me, sobbing no less, I'd of told them to of lay off the drugs.
Her pitiful gaze lingered as she continued to stare, her eyes locked on me. Sensing she wasn't going to attempt murder soon, Kayden slowly released her from his grasp until she stood on her own. "He's not just some human to me, he never was. Every day he lives, every day our relationship continues is proof to me that I can break my cycle." She laughed darkly and swiped at the tears beading under her eyes. "Most succubi love it. They love to kill the man or woman they've just slept with, feeding off of their energy, this life-force inside of them. Human blood is a potent drug like no other. I don't want it, I never wanted anything to do with it. Dying would be a gift. You should be grateful you get to die."
For the first time I saw something human in Ursula, it certainly wasn't what I had expected. Envy came off of her body in leaps, the effect being the same as if she had been screaming in my face for hours on end. I didn't doubt for a moment that didn't love Leo, love him enough to make sure nothing was going on between us. He was her sanity card, her remaining tie to whatever piece of humanity she had left, and should that tie ever break, it would be her undoing.
Kayden stood off to the opposite side of the hall, leaning against a locker with arms crossed over his chest. He looked as human and Ursula and I did but we all knew it was just a single mask from the many he could pull out on a whim to disguise himself with. I wondered if he still had any ties to humanity, if someone or something could make him weak in the knees and give up everything just to see them smile. As if he heard me our eyes met, his expression one of someone holding a closely guarded secret. The saying 'dead men tell no tales' echoed in my head, but Kayden was very much not-alive and definitely had stories to tell.
"Take a picture, it'll last longer," he said with a sneer, the corners of his mouth hitching into a smile.
"Do demons even show up on film?" I half-asked, matching his smile. "Or do they only exist in the minds of the insane?"
Ursula picked up her textbook from the floor, holding it against her. "Oh, he definitely shows up in film. I have a photo from the '50s in my bedroom." Then her eyes lit up brilliantly. "I have an idea!"
"Quick, look for the smoke," I stage-whispered to Kayden as she started to grin even bigger. "Or fire, just look for a big ball of fire."
Running up to stand directly in front of Kayden she let her smile spread wide enough to almost split her face into two. "The Charon Carnival is this weekend, I say the four of us go. There's got to be a huge chance for her to find her protector-thingy Leo told me about." She turned over to me, the excitement so fierce on her face it was like staring into the blinding sun. "What do you say?"
I looked at Kayden, who seemed completely neutral on the idea, to Ursula, who looked like an eccentrically decorated hot air balloon from her platinum blonde hair to shining blue eyes more dazzling than sapphires. The idea of seeing the rich marble city decorated like a big top circus sounded almost like a potentially favorite dream or a perfectly beautiful nightmare.
"Do I need to wear a costume?"
Both of them grinned.
Everything had been planned down for the weekend of the carnival. Ursula made sure to stop by and give Jayson her sweetest smile of innocence, and a little hint of her persuasion as she gushed about how much fun we were going to have at her house over the weekend. Jayson didn't need any further details and it gave me the perfect cover to spend a night in Charon in a home owned by one of Ursula's friends, sporting the perfect balcony to see the fireworks display at midnight.
Kayden, Leo, and Ursula all had costumes from a small shop inside Charon for the occasion. Kayden had offered up several of Ursula's previous outfits for the day, but I politely declined once I saw the bare midriffs and abundance of crimson and canary colored lace. I was still short on an idea and the weekend was approaching- fast.
Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom two nights before the carnival was to begin I pouted and examined my face. Still the same parchment colored skin, still the same bottomless brown eyes and short blonde hair. Twisting the ends of my hair, my thoughts turned back to that fateful day in the boutique with Cassie. Part of me wondered if the outcome would have been different had I skipped the party like my instincts told me. Or if I ever would have found out about just how damaged my mother was from my father's actions if I hadn't moved back home.
My fingers traced around the edges of the white heart pendant that hung from my neck. As if in response to my touch it glowed with a sharp pulse of pure light. A light bulb went off in the back of my head and I went for my closet, pushing aside my shirts and jackets to reach a pink bag in the far corner. I unzipped the bag and examined the layers of white organza, satin and peeking hints of lace that made up my mother's wedding dress for the marriage she never had with my father.
It was perfect for a carnival of the inhuman.
F O U R T E E N
Standing outside of the little bookshop Friday night, Kayden and I waited for Leo and Ursula to meet up with us. The temperature had dropped dramatically as the sun was far under the horizon, the cold enough for little snowflakes to fall and dissolve just as they touched the ground. In the empty expanse of land around us, it was peaceful and calming.
Kayden let out a long-winded, irritated sigh. "We should have all just rode in the same car. Or I could have flown us all here. Why the need for separate vehi
cles?"
Normally I would have told him to shut up, but even after an hour with him I was still unable to get over his outfit. He was dressed in a skin-tight suit of rich satin, blood red and virgin white made for a jester of the court, three pointed jingle hat and all. A black star had been painted over each eye to act as his mask.
I opened my mouth to say something only to take one look at him and break out in laughter all over again as I pictured him trying to juggle and failing miserably. "I never knew a jester could look so cute and so handsome all at once."
For a split second it looked like he could have blushed under his dark skin. He seemed to be at a loss for words. "You, uh, look nice too."
I looked down to my feet, my face growing hot. If only he knew the hours of careful make-up and jewelry selecting I had done. For a mask I had taken red lace and draped it over my eyes, cutting out two small holes and making sure to tie it in a neat bow in the back. Against the creamy color of my skin and the white of the dress it contrasted perfectly. I pulled the black floor-length pea coat across the front of my dress and let out a small exhale.
Kayden's feet shifted closer. He had tilted his head down to me, a small smile dashing his painted red lips. "I mean it. It's very fitting. You look, what's the word, regal."
"You're only saying that."
"I'm not," he said quietly. "I'd never lie to you about something like that."
The honesty in his voice brought out a surge of confidence in me I hadn't felt in weeks. I glanced up and down the road for any sign of headlights before I locked eyes with Kayden. "I want you to try something."
He raised an eyebrow in question, then gave me a once-over. "You never really took me for the kinky type, but I never say no."
I punched him in the arm as hard as I could, sparks flying off from the contact. "No, you idiot. Something else. But I'm going to need your help." I bit on my lower lip as I thought of how to say what was on my mind. "I...don't want to hurt you."
"I'm listening."
"I want you to kiss me," I blurted out a little faster than I'd of liked. My face grew hot instantly and I turned my focus to one of the jingle bells on his hat. "To see if I can control the fire inside. That's all."
I had expected to hear him laugh, to mock me or call me crazy. Instead he came close enough until I couldn't get away from his eyes. The color had turned to a molten amber with swirls of the onyx black I'd come to know as his favorite choice. "It's okay if you burn me." He reached up gently and placed a finger under my chin.
The fire was instant, flames spreading over his hand as if he had dunked it in a bucket of gasoline and thrown a lit match onto it. I stumbled back, careful not to dirty the dress on the damp, muddy ground.
"I wasn't ready," I apologized. "Give me a second."
Kayden stepped back, waiting.
Eyes shut, I focused on my breathing, making sure to keep it even. The burning sensation of the fire coiled inside, but it wasn't volatile. I imagined extinguishing most of the flame and pictured cool, refreshing air taking place inside of my chest. Inside I felt lighter, calmer, like I could control it long enough to hold back the flame.
Stepping forward, I came up to him and nodded. "I'm ready."
He moved slow, eyes never leaving mine as he watched for the tiniest change in my heart. His fingers grazed the edge of my chin lightly, and when nothing happened he ran his fingers along my cheek.
Inside my heart was pounding, thundering like a violent wind storm. I leaned in closer and without thinking, pressed my lips against his.
Everything stopped.
A heat different than anything I had ever felt before, different than my personal fire bloomed to life, spreading a comforting warmth to every inch of my body. His breath was freezing where mine was scalding, the mixture creating a sensation like no other to run through my veins and sing for mercy. Hands that weren't mine encompassed my face and held me close to stop me from running away. I flung my arms around his waist and prayed he didn't dissolve into the smoky dust I'd come to know.
In the distance I heard a door slam shut, two excited voices growing closer and closer.
Kayden's lips froze. He pulled back with a sharp jolt, staring at me with a look I couldn't quite place, like he was torn between desire, longing and bitterness all at once. Eyes black a coal, he turned away from me and walked up to the car to lean against the frame. "Guess your experiment worked after all."
I nodded numbly, tasting the lingering sensation on my lips. A cold and hollow sensation settled into my bones, my skin aching for another moment of his hands on my face. This wasn't right; I wasn't supposed to like the man who had tried to attack me, who showed me what kind of a monster I was. Yet here he was, scrambling my brain into silly putty for the molding.
"Kayden, I-" I started to say when Ursula and Leo showed up, each dressed for the show. Ursula had spun her hair into a tight bun of curls piled high, small ringlets hanging down and around her face. Her dress was of a shimmering silver fabric that clung to her every curve, a deep slit riding up to mid-thigh and exposing her thin, willowy legs. She looked as ethereal as an angel should be, something I could never achieve. Leo on the other hand stayed very modest, sporting a standard black and white tuxedo with black shoes, his hair slicked back.
He grinned as soon as he laid eyes on me. "Very classy."
"You look like a god-damn penguin," I replied with a smirk, giving him a shove. Any form of tension that had lingered on my mind before instantly vanished with his smile.
"Excuse me, are we going to go or just stand here in this bitchin' cold and talk about how Leo looks like he's twelve in that suit?" Ursula tapped her foot impatiently. "Leo, your keys."
"Alright, alright woman, I'm going," he muttered but winked at her before opening the door. It was darker inside than out, dust floating out into the nighttime sky as we shuffled in, doing our best to avoid each other's feet and outfits. Past the library passageway connecting Charon to the book shop in Maine and the library itself was where it all really began to unfold.
Outside the grand library it looked like a time warp had taken place. The large cobblestone main street had been decorated lavishly in handcrafted paper lanterns floating in mid-air, adding a subtle glow to the shops that had each been decorated for the event. Bakeries turned into makeshift pie stands, clothing stores now had tailored ringmaster hats and dramatic costumes, and carnival people wandered through the crowd to give small demos of juggling and sword swallowing. Off on the side streets sat rides, from tea cups to mini-roller coasters, even a haunted house and house of mirrors.
Kayden swiped a spool of cotton candy for me as the four of us took our time down the main street, only to come to a halt down at the end. Where the cul-de-sac had been before now stood a big top unlike anything I had ever seen, it's red and white stripes classic. A large arch made of twisted black iron held up a banner showing an image of a big-top, lions and tigers, and clowns.
"Is this what we're seeing?" I asked excitedly, passing off the cotton candy to Leo, who happily devoured the rest. "A circus show?"
"No, we're here to eat Chinese and make out with the bearded lady," Kayden rolled his eyes but was obviously trying hard not to smile. He inclined his head to the masses of people behind us all making their way to the big top with the rest of us. "That's what a circus is for, isn't it?"
"I would sure hope you're here for the show," someone purred beside us. Serena was dressed in a tight corseted black top laced with spider web grey strings and low-rise liquid black pants that revealed an exposed midriff covered in delicate jewels glued to her skin. Her hair had been pulled into a tight bun behind her head and her caramel eyes were surrounded by kohl smudging with rose red painted lips. "You'll get to see me perform the act I've been practicing for months." And with that she vanished behind the curtain of the entrance.
We paid for our tickets and stepped inside. The big-top looked nothing like a traditional circus and yet it looked every bit like a step back t
o the 1920's. A bustling lobby with a full coat check, concession stand and roomy seating in hand-stained leather chairs led to a set of majestic stairs carpeted in traditional red. Low lighting gave everyone a soft glow to their complexions, making the diamonds and rubies every woman wore glimmer with a tantalizing glow.
I checked my coat in and turned around, praying I blended in. Even though I wasn't the only human in the room I felt my white dress with the extra layers stand out, the bodice corset with a sweetheart neckline suddenly too revealing. I brought along small white gloves to cover my ring less hands and made sure to double check my red laced mask was still in place.
When I turned around to find Kayden for our seats he was nowhere to be found. Leo was reading a small pamphlet on the history of Fae, lost in his own little world.
"Leo, you seen Ursula or Kayden?" I nervously asked, tugging on the hem of my gloves.
Looking up from his reading he stared around in confusion. "They were here a second ago." He scratched his head while frowning, scanning the crowd until he pointed. His face quickly turned from relief to worry. "There they are, talking to the Queen."
"Judging by your tone I'd say that isn't a good thing."
"Let's just say," Leo quietly muttered, pretending to adjust his bow tie. "Few are on her good side, and even fewer who were on her bad lived long to tell about it." He quickly changed the subject. "Listen, while we have a minute alone, I need to tell you something."
Smiling I gave him a little shoulder nudge. "Sure. What's up?"
He looked around the room before pulling me aside to a corner of the lobby. "I know we're not supposed to be seeing each other like this because Ursula thinks we're getting all close and lovey, but I have to explain something to you." He took a deep breath. "I think I might be your Watcher."
"Leo." I took his hands and gave him a sad smile. "Don't listen to what that woman- what Serena had said. She said we'd have to have matching birthdays right down to the minute."
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