Smiling, she patted Sofie on the shoulder. Sarah knew first hand all about the guilt. Even though she’d never meant to hurt Angel the way she had years ago, she still felt terrible. For a long time she was haunted by the pain in his eyes from that horrible night the truth about Sydney had come out in the worst way imaginable. Like Sofia, she too knew all too well the pain of nearly losing the guy she loved. It had only been for a few weeks, but they were a few of the hardest weeks she’d endured in her life.
By the time they were done talking, Sofia said she felt better. They finished their run, and Sarah headed home. Her phone rang just as she pulled into the parking space at her condo. She answered it with a smile. “Hey, Syd.”
“I was just thinking about you,” he said, crunching on something.
“Really, why?”
“I was flipping the channels and saw some of the highlights and hype about tomorrow’s college games. They mentioned the San Diego-Hawaii game. It made me think of those photos of Dana and Angel.” He was quiet for a moment. “I know you said it didn’t bother you, but c’mon, Sarah, this is me you’re talking to. You wouldn’t have even mentioned them if they didn’t. So I just wanted to see how you’re holding up. He’s gone, right?”
“Yeah, he left this morning,” Sarah said, walking up to her front door.
Her mom was on the floor doing her yoga in front of the TV. She didn’t even open her eyes, and Sarah knew she needed to be quiet when her mom was in that zone.
“Hold on,” she whispered and hurried into her bedroom. After explaining about her mom’s yoga, she addressed his comments. “It didn’t really bother me. I know I can trust Angel. It’s her I don’t trust, and then I can’t help but wonder if any of those other bitches on the cheer squad who still flirt with him shamelessly will be trying anything sneaky this weekend. I just don’t want to go back to that high school bullshit with all the hearsay.”
“So don’t listen to any of it. I mean, hell, how would you even know unless you went searching for it? Just don’t.”
“I don’t,” she explained. “But Valerie always seems to come across these things.”
She left out that she knew why. Valerie would search for things on Alex and would inadvertently run into things about Angel. Sarah knew it would be as easy as telling her cousin to not tell her about any of the stuff she read about stupid Dana and her photos, but deep inside, Sarah didn’t want to let her guard down. So while she herself wouldn’t be doing any digging, if Valerie found anything, she did want to know about it.
To her surprise, Sydney changed the subject abruptly. “So is that Leonardo guy who commented on so many of your photos on Facebook today Leo?”
“What?” Sarah asked, confused. Aside from her brother, she didn’t know or remember having any Facebook friends named Leonardo. “No, Leonardo doesn’t have a Facebook.”
“Ortiz, right?”
“Yeah, that’s him,” she said, sitting down and firing up the laptop. “He commented on my pictures? He told me he didn’t really do social media.”
“Well, his profile seems pretty new—just a handful of friends and almost no photos. I wasn’t sure if it was him because the photos he does have are of stuff like football team logos, cars, and some faraway lake photos, nothing of him up close, so I couldn’t be sure. Only reason I noticed is because he commented on a couple that I’m tagged in, so I got the notification.”
Sarah logged into her account. Sure enough, she had a bunch of notifications and a friend request from Leonardo Ortiz. She accepted it without giving it a thought then went on to check out all his comments. There were a lot. “Hmm, he must’ve just started it. I sort of teased him about being old school for not having one.”
Sydney was quiet for a moment as she continued to punch keys on her laptop. She got to the first of his comments just under a photo of her running through the finish line of a relay she ran last year and won from behind.
His comment was “Superstar! Love it! So proud!”
For many of her profile pictures of her alone or close ups he’d only commented with one word: “Beautiful.”
Then there were the ones of her and Sydney from high school way back when she was still attending Flagstaff. In one of them, she and Sydney were standing on the sideline at one of their track meets and Syd had his arm around her. The caption read, “Sydney. My Rock.” Leo’s comment was “Need to meet this guy.”
He noticeably didn’t comment on any of the photos with her and Angel, including her profile photo where she was leaning her head on Angel’s chest and he was kissing her forehead. Photos of her and Angel constituted the majority of her Facebook photos, but she also had many of her and Valerie, her mom, and Angel’s family.
There was another photo of her and Sydney also from way back before she’d moved out to California. They were sitting on the limb of the giant oak tree in his backyard, waving down at Sydney’s mom, who took the photo from below. The caption read, “My favorite brother,” with a winky face after it. It was a photo Sarah had posted years ago along with the silly caption. The winky face was obviously because Sydney was the only person who came close to a brother to her. Leonardo’s comment on that photo was “Um, no.”
After clicking on a few more similar comments or hearts that he posted on her solo photos, she saw the one comment he did make on a photo of her and Angel. It was one taken over a year ago. They took a selfy lying on his parents’ sofa. She remembered Angel holding the phone up as she held the sheet to her chest, obviously not wearing much underneath. Neither was he, but it was tasteful, and they both looked so happy. It was a rare weekend they’d had the house to themselves, and the caption read, “Playing house on this beautiful rainy day.”
Leo’s comment was “I’m with your mom on this one. I don’t think you should either.”
Confused, Sarah thought about that for a moment. Her mom? She clicked on the previous comments, and to her horror, she saw the comment her mom had made almost a year ago as well.
“Sarah Lynn that better not be my sofa! I really don’t think you should be posting photos like this. I do hope you’re still on birth control.”
It had several likes including a few “LOL” comments. Valerie had even shared the post with her comment: “Why parents shouldn’t be allowed to Facebook.” Sarah felt her face flush. She couldn’t believe she’d missed that.
Sydney finally spoke up again. “Lynni?”
Even though she still held the phone to her ear, she’d almost forgotten Sydney was still on the other end.
“Yeah,” she said, shaking her still warm face and feeling silly not to mention rude. She’d gotten so caught up on Leonardo’s comments that she’d completely paid no mind to Sydney all that time. “I’m here. I’m sorry. I was just going through the comments on my Facebook.”
“Is that him?”
“Yes, it is,” she said without offering more.
“Kind of ballsy, no?”
“Mm,” she said. “Well, I made fun of him for not having a Facebook, so I think this is his way of trying to catch up quickly. Maybe socking it to me a little.”
She wasn’t sure why she was trying to justify Leonardo’s actions. It just felt so good after meeting him and telling Sydney about it that maybe this relationship with her brother would finally at least begin to feel normal. Even her mom seemed pleased with how Sarah told her things had gone. She didn’t want Leonardo’s lack of creativity or “ballsyness” when commenting on her photos ruining the momentum in trust both Angel and Sydney were beginning to show.
“Yeah, but—”
“Social media is new to him apparently,” Sarah said a little too haughtily, so she toned it down. “Obviously, he’s not up on the etiquette. Maybe he doesn’t even know that everyone else can see his comments or something.”
All right maybe that was a stretch, but it wouldn’t be unheard of. Her mother was a perfect example, and Valerie was right. God knows she regretted creating a Facebook page for her mom last
year. Sarah would now be removing that comment, one she’d obviously missed when doing a clean sweep last year when she first let her mom run amuck on Facebook. The woman commented on every one of her photos. She even had something to say about the inside jokes Sarah posted to her status.
Sydney was quiet for a moment, and she wished to hell she didn’t know him so well, because she knew he wasn’t buying it.
“Okay,” she conceded as she removed her mom’s comment and skimmed through her photos to see if she’d missed any other of her mother’s embarrassing comments. “Maybe I’ll have to give him a quick and dirty lesson on the do’s and don’ts of social media like I had to do with my mom. What he commented wasn’t so bad,” she said even as she hid a few of Leo’s “beautiful” comments and the one of him agreeing with her mom.
Angel wouldn’t even get it at this point since she’d deleted her mom’s comment. Even if he did notice, which was highly unlikely, Angel wasn’t a big fan of Facebook. As much as she’d made fun of Leonardo, Angel was just as bad about social media. But at least Angel had had an account for over a year now. He just didn’t get on there much. Still, she wanted to avoid any unnecessary conflict.
Just then an instant message popped up on her screen.
Leonardo: I wish we’d taken photos. I could’ve added them to my Facebook page. Next time I see you, we’ll have to take a few.
Crap!
He was going to be like her mom. The thing was, even if Angel didn’t check his Facebook frequently, she often had the page wide open on her laptop when Angel was around. She had nothing to hide from him and still didn’t, except maybe some innocent comments that could be interpreted as inappropriate. Not wanting to start bad habits and have Leonardo think she’d respond immediately to his Facebook messages, she decided she wouldn’t until later that evening.
Sydney agreed that giving him a heads up about how everyone can see what he’d commented on and that people tagged in photos would automatically be notified was a good idea.
She and Sydney spoke for another half hour with Sydney giving her a little more insight on his new roommate, his job, and some of the people he’d met so far out in Los Angeles. Sarah was glad but not surprised that Sydney had settled in quite nicely. What she was surprised about was how final his breakup with Carina was. She hadn’t asked in a while, so she decided to now.
“Sydney, so things are really over with you and Carina? You two don’t even talk or text?”
“Nope,” Sydney said coldly. “I called her once only because I’d heard she’d taken the semester off. I was worried about her. She assured me she was fine, that she just needed to take a breather from everything so she’d taken the semester off but would be back to school in January.”
Sarah couldn’t even imagine the heartache Carina must be going through. Well, she could. She’d lived through thinking it was really over between her and Angel once, but they’d been together less than six months when that happened. After all these years together, she’d be devastated if he suddenly dumped her just like that.
“And you’d tell me the truth if you were still hurting about this in any way, right? It’s okay to miss her, you know. You two were together for a long time.”
“I do miss her, Lynn,” he said to her surprise. “I miss her a lot. But what I don’t miss are the arguments. The constant tension and stress from all the bickering was just such a life suck. Seriously, as much as I miss her, I’m so much more at peace now. I’m good; don’t worry.”
After hanging up, she jumped in the shower and then worked on her paper for a while. She was glad after a few hours she’d made a major dent in it. Her phone rang just as she walked into the kitchen. “Of course,” she muttered, rushing back to her room. She caught it just in time and was relieved since it was Angel.
“Hey, babe,” she said with a big smile as she started back to the kitchen.
It was the weirdest thing. On any given day when she wasn’t around him all day because he was at work and then practice or whatever not seeing him all day, she didn’t feel so bad. Now, knowing he was so far away and would be for days, she missed him terribly after only few hours.
“Hey,” he said, and she could hear lots of voices in the background. “We just got to the hotel, and now we’re standing around waiting to get our room assignments and keys. Hawaii was not what I was expecting.”
“Why?”
He explained about their hotel being in downtown Waikiki, which was very touristy and not nearly as tropical as he envisioned. There were crowds, high rises, and lots of traffic. Angel was expecting secluded beaches and palm trees.
“I think those are the less-crowded islands, babe. I hear Maui is beautiful.”
“Well, when I bring you back, that’s where we’re going,” he said.
They spoke for a little bit longer until he said they’d gotten their room keys and he was going upstairs to unpack and relax for a little. “A bunch of us are probably gonna go do some sightseeing and maybe hang out at the beach for a little then grab something to eat and head back. We gotta be up early tomorrow morning. The game doesn’t start until noon,” he explained, “but the coach wants us at the school at eight to do some lifting and warming up before suiting up, so the bus will be here at seven.” He paused for a moment. “God, I wish you were here.”
She couldn’t help smiling and feeling all warm and fuzzy. She even encouraged him to enjoy himself even though inwardly she was hoping he wouldn’t too much. He said he’d call her again before he went to bed. Her mom caught the tail end of her conversation just as she hung up.
“So how’s Hawaii?” her mom asked, opening up the fridge Sarah had just closed.
“Different than he’d expected,” she explained what Angel had described.
“Sounds like your typical big city,” her mom said, pulling out the cold cuts and mayo. “And he’s going out tonight?”
Sarah turned to look at her mom, a little annoyed. “No,” she said, failing in her attempt to not to sound defensive. She knew her mom loved Angel, but she had never forgotten a conversation about Sydney and Angel they’d had just months after she’d been out of jail, so she continued. “He and some of the other players are just gonna do some sightseeing then grab something to eat.” She turned to her mom, who was making a sandwich now, not sure if she was purposely avoiding looking up. “I told him to enjoy himself,” she added for good measure just to show she wasn’t at all worried about what he’d be up to tonight or the rest of the weekend.
Her mom finally looked up and smiled. “I overheard someone this morning talking about the game tomorrow. It’s supposed to be a big one.”
Sarah exhaled, glad her mom changed the subject from Angel’s going out to the game. She talked with her for a bit longer before heading back to her room to finish that paper. Feeling a little guilty about the way she spoke to her mom after her mom’s simple comment, she thought of how shocked she’d been a few weeks after her mom had gotten out of jail and made another confession. She’d sat Sarah down and admitted to feeling terribly guilty for having separating her and Sydney. She said watching them together over the years as they’d grown closer and closer she’d been certain Sarah would end up with Sydney. It was why she refused to let Sarah stay with him and his family while she was in jail. She’d been afraid that Sarah might repeat the cycle and by the time she was out of jail Sarah would have a least one baby if not more. Clearly, her mom had been wrong about the kind of love and devotion Sarah had for Sydney. More than once she’d asked Sarah if she was certain she wasn’t in love with Sydney and possibly making a mistake she’d later regret by staying with Angel.
When Sarah had told her mom about Sydney breaking up with Carina and why, her mom hadn’t seemed surprised, but she didn’t say what she was obviously thinking—the same thing Angel had been thinking—that Sydney was and always had been in love with her. This was the one thing Sarah had never shared with anyone.
Not Angel.
Not Valerie.
And certainly not Sydney.
Why not Sydney? Her best friend whom she could share anything with? Because deep inside, in a place Sarah was afraid to admit even existed ever since her mom had brought it up, she’d begun to wonder if maybe her mom had been right about Sydney’s feelings for her.
Sarah would never ask Sydney to tell her the truth because she knew Sydney. If he were in love with her, as long as she was with Angel, he’d never tell her unless she asked outright. And if that were the case, Sarah didn’t know how that would change things between them, especially since she’d vowed never to keep something like that from Angel. So she’d long ago decided she’d never ask Sydney.
Chapter 14
Angel
Things had gone from bad to worse in a matter of hours. The hotel had offered a couple of their courtesy shuttles to drive some of the team members around and check out downtown Waikiki and some of the close-by tourist attractions. A few of the guys started talking about a party at one of the hotels nearby. The driver of the shuttle was cool about giving them a ride there but warned he couldn’t wait too long. Angel had already told Alex he was out. He had no intention of partying tonight, especially knowing how early they had to be up and that if anyone missed that bus tomorrow there’d be hell to pay with their coaches once they got on the field. Angel wasn’t about to be one of them. He knew if one fucked up they’d all be paying for it, but he’d be damned if he’d be the one to blame. Already they’d been duly warned on the bus ride from the airport to their hotel by their head coach.
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