He smiled, but his eyes were sad. “I’m sorry I failed you. You’ll have to save yourself now.”
My lower lip quivered. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Jack placed his thick hand on my ankle, his expression pained. “I tried many times. I couldn’t bear to see those sweet eyes turn sad. I wanted you to have everything, Nina, most of all a normal life.”
I smiled. “I hope it’s nice where you are,” I said, my eyes burning from the salty tears lining my lower lashes.
“The only thing missing is you.”
I laughed once and looked down at my hands. “I wish you were really here. I need you.”
“Find the book, Nina,” Jack said. The change of his voice made me look up. His chin was lowered, and he looked at me from under his brow—the way he always had when he wanted me to listen.
“Daddy?” I said, seeing movement behind him, slowly approaching us from the darkness.
Shax strolled into the light. His black eyes hadn’t changed.
“It’s time to wake up, Nina,” Jack said with an apologetic expression.
I glowered at Shax. “No,” I said, anger bursting from every pore in my skin.
Shax’s head cocked to the side like an animal. “What is she to us, Jack? Why do you protect her so?”
“Because she’s my daughter,” Jack said firmly, standing. He walked to the bedroom door and then turned to face Shax, his hand on the knob. “You’ve underestimated my family many times, beast. This time may be your last.”
Shax waved him away, and a loud noise forced me to cover my ears. Misshapen arms exploded through the door, throwing splintered wood onto the floor and my covers. Before I could recover from the noise, Jack was pulled through the door. Only traces of his blood on the door jamb and carpet had been left behind.
“No!” I screamed, reaching out from my bed.
Shax took a step closer and I recoiled.
“Stay away from me,” I said, looking around the room for something to use to defend myself.
Shax lurched forward, his wild black eyes and sharp features inches from my face. I scampered back, first against the head of my bead. Panicked, I continued to crawl backward away from him and found myself halfway up the wall.
Shax stood, looking up at me. He smiled with his crooked mouth and perfectly white teeth. “Running will get you nowhere, precious. We know what you are.”
He jumped, landing on all fours on the wall. My arms and legs couldn’t move fast enough as I climbed backward up the remainder of the wall. Shax’s arms and legs made quick jerking movements as he moved slowly toward me. His body looked twisted and unnatural.
When I realized I was on the ceiling, looking down at my bed, I closed my eyes.
“Wake me up, Jared! Wake me up!”
I opened my eyes, and I was back at the loft. Jared, Bex, and the bed were all twelve feet below me.
“Agh!” I screamed as I fell face-down onto the bed.
“I’ve gotta learn how to do that!” Bex said, jumping once with excitement.
Jared immediately turned me onto my back. “Nina?” he said, brushing my hair from my face.
“I’m fine,” I said, angrily.
“That was creepy,” Jared said, scanning me with his dark blue eyes.
“She was like Spiderman! That was freakin’ incredible!” Bex said. “I bet I can do that. I’m going to try.”
“We can’t float or climb walls,” Jared said through his teeth. The skin around his eyes was tight with worry.
“But she’s human! Even if she’s influenced, if she can do it, we must be able to!”
Jared’s brows pulled in. “What happened?”
I took a breath. “Jack was there.”
“And Gabe?”
“No, but Shax came. He said he knew what I was. Jack said that Shax had underestimated our family before. He said to get the book.”
Jared nodded. “That’s the plan.”
“I think he meant now,” I said, feeling a sense of urgency.
Jared looked to Bex, who was looking around the loft, listening.
“Bex?” Jared said.
Bex nodded.
“We all need to pack a few things,” Jared said. “We’re going to be gone for a couple of days. I want to be in the car and ready to go in five minutes.”
Jared’s and Bex’s forms turned obscure as they raced around the room at impossible speed, and I immediately pulled on a hooded sweatshirt and jeans then shoved my bare feet into sneakers. Jared held the door open for me as I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. The iron steps knocked and echoed with my footsteps alone, although Bex was in front of me, with Jared following behind.
Bex threw our bags into the back of the Escalade then froze. He looked into the air, waiting for something.
“Are they coming?” I whispered.
Jared paused then took a step toward the loft. “No,” he whispered.
Bex shook his head. “They’re here.”
Jared left me then. My eyes barely kept up with his blurry form sprinting into the loft.
“What?” I said. Bex moved in front of me in a protective stance then gasped.
The building exploded. Multiple balls of fire rolled into the sky. Debris shot toward Bex and me, and he turned his back to the explosion, shielding my body from the blast. I crawled out from under him, seeing the bright orange glow of heat and smoke that used to be our home.
“No!” I wailed, reaching over Bex. I knew trying to escape from him grip was futile, but the explosion had happened less than a second after Jared had reached the stairs, and I was desperate to get to him.
I looked up to Jared’s little brother. His eyes were wide. He clearly didn’t know what to think. We waited there, and even though the fire roared before us, everything was silent.
I waited for Jared to emerge from the rubble. Every second that passed seemed like an eternity, and panic began to overwhelm any rational thought I tried to have.
“Come on, Jared,” Bex said, his grip on my arms a bit tighter.
“Go get him,” I demanded, my voice broken and shaking.
“I have to stay here with you,” Bex said. He seemed confused and in shock.
I pushed at Bex. “He’s in there somewhere! Go get him!” I screamed.
Bex grabbed each side of my face, looking deep into my eyes. “They are here, Nina. They’re all around us. I can’t leave you.”
“Good kid,” Jared said from behind us. His hair and clothes were singed, his face covered in soot, and the skin on his cheek bone was scraped and bleeding, but he was alive.
He held up two dusty picture frames: one with the black-and-white picture of me he took the day he fell in love with me and the other of us playing at the beach in Little Corn.
“Don’t do that to me ever again!” I yelled, balling up my fists and landing them straight onto Jared’s chest.
He wrapped his arms around me tightly. “I’m sorry. I realized what was about to happen, and I had to go. These pictures were the only things in the loft I couldn’t lose.”
We turned to watch at our home fall in defeat to the fire. The beams creaked as they gave way, and glowing ash was thrown into the sky, floating all around us. My eyes poured out rivers of tears. I’d never realized how much I loved the loft until I witnessed it dying in front of me. Memories of our first date, listening to our song for the first time, cooking together, laughing, watching Claire and Bex grow a little more each time they entered the front door—it was all gone, reduced to cinders.
Sirens sounded in the distance.
“We have to go,” Jared said, gently escorting me to the passenger side of the Escalade.
As he pulled away, I watched the flames and glowing smoke until I couldn’t see them anymore and then turned to face forward. Jared placed his hand over mine, and then Bex put his hand over ours.
“It had to be Donovan,” Bex said.
I shook my head. “No. Claire took care of all the humans who mig
ht be a threat to us.”
“Except Donovan,” Jared said. His knuckles turned white against the steering wheel.
Bex leaned back in the seat. “He’s the closest human to Shax. Claire left him alive because he’s the taleh of a half-breed.”
“What?” I said, looking to Jared for confirmation.
He nodded. “Isaac. Very fast, very strong, but emotional. He’s been known to make mistakes, but he’s still dangerous.”
I blinked, processing what Jared had said. “So to kill Donovan we’d have to kill a hybrid.”
“Not just any hybrid,” Bex said, “the son of Michael, a deadly angel in the Holy Army, a warrior of God. At His word, they would exterminate entire blood lines, entire kingdoms.”
I laughed once. “The Michael? You’re joking.”
“Not the Michael, but he was very respected in that family of angels until he fell in love with Isaac’s mother,” Jared said, pulling the Escalade down a road leading us out of town. “Michael belongs to a family of angels that embodies God’s wrath, and if harm came to his son, that would be an act of war against Heaven. That is the only reason Donovan is still alive.”
The Escalade bounced over the uneven gravel road, and Jared came to a stop just outside a familiar chain-link fence. We walked hand in hand to the warehouse where I met Eli. Jared pushed the button and we waited. Nothing.
“I thought you said he wouldn’t speak to you?” I asked.
Jared stood—silent, patient, and calm. Twenty long minutes passed, and then we were finally buzzed in. The breath Jared had silently held, he released. “Thank you,” he whispered.
Bex led the way through the dusty cement hall. My footsteps echoed throughout the capacious room the hall opened up to, encased by a hundred dirty windows.
As before, we waited in the center.
Jared’s and Bex’s faces were marked by soot from the fire. Their expressions were composed, waiting for Eli to decide to show himself.
An hour passed and still we waited. Jared slid his arms from his jacket and hung it on my shoulders. I hadn’t even noticed the cold, but once the added heat was around me, I shivered.
“Patience,” Jared said. His words could have been directed at me or at Bex. I wasn’t sure.
After another hour, the columns of glass were ignited by the rising sun. Rays of white pierced through, illuminating the elegantly floating dust motes in its path. Glowing yellow squares infringed upon the shadows, and soon the entire floor glowed and warmed with the glorious grace of morning light.
“Nina,” a voice called from across the room. Eli walked toward us, his eyes focused only on me. He was dressed in the same attire he wore the last time we met: the crisp white shirt, the jeans, and sandals. His hair was spiky and blond. He made a clicking noise with his tongue. “You aren’t getting enough rest.”
“But you knew that,” I smiled sleepily.
One corner of his mouth turned up, but it wasn’t quite a smile. “I’m sorry, cupcake. I haven’t been much help.”
“Can you help us now?” Jared asked.
“We would love to, Jared. We’ve been instructed not to,” Eli said. Compassion was in his eyes but not apology.
“But why?” Bex asked, genuinely confused.
Jared watched Eli for a moment and then frowned. “They won’t intervene unless The Balance is disturbed.”
Eli reached his hand to me, and I took it. He pulled me into him gently. He towered over me, and I felt like a child wrapped in his arms. Emotion overwhelmed me, and I let myself tremble and weep unreservedly in the quiet sanctuary of his embrace. Jared’s hand touched my shoulder; Bex’s smaller hand touched my back. A sob that had been hiding somewhere deep within me found its way to the surface.
It felt good to cry. I had just seen my father for the first time since his death. With the pressure and horror of being the center of a story Hell took very seriously and now hearing that Heaven was unwilling to help, hope was dwindling. Crying was a sweet release, and in Eli’s arms, it was natural, much like a tearful moment in my father’s lap when I was hurt or frightened.
Eli released me and tenderly grasped a lock of my hair. “You have grieved for your former life, Nina Grey. It is time to rise up as the woman you are: strong, determined,” he smiled, “and stubborn.” He walked away from us, looking at the sky through the windows. “Humans see life as so precious when it’s fleeting. Add in the defensive instincts of a mother, and you’re nearly unstoppable, even in your fragile shell. It’s more inspiring each time I see it.”
“You know she’s not pregnant,” Jared said.
“Yet,” Eli said, turning with a knowing smile. “Let us visit again when the time is right, at the time when you have no more questions to ask but one.”
“What question is that?” I asked, but he was gone. “Damn it.”
“We need to get Nina back,” Jared said.
“Back to where, Jared? Did you forget your house is toast?” Bex said.
I shook my head, still in disbelief. Jared enveloped me in his arms, warmer and even more inviting than Eli’s.
“You have three choices, Nina: Cynthia’s, Lillian’s, or Kim’s.”
“Kim’s?” I sneered. “Even if I did still consider her my friend, I have no desire to live in the dorms again.”
Jared grimaced. “She’s the safest, option, Nina, and, yes, she’s still your friend.”
“Why is she the safest?” I asked.
Bex grinned. “They don’t mess with her. She’s like bug spray.”
I smiled. “She would hate that if she heard you.”
Bex pulled a gun from the back of his jeans and scratched his head with the barrel. “Okay. Where to, then?”
“I still have things at Cynthia’s. We’ll go there,” I said, taking in a deep breath. Luckily, Cynthia was consistently busy with charities, so she would be out and about more often than not.
“You’ll go there,” Jared said.
My mouth fell open. “I’m not going anywhere without you. You told me once you couldn’t go back to that again. What happened to that?”
“It’s not my first choice, I assure you,” he said, an uncomfortable grin twisting his mouth.
“It’s my house, Jared. You’re coming,” I said. I looked at Bex, then. “And there’s a room for you too.”
“I have a room. Thanks,” Bex said.
“Nina,” Jared began.
I held up my hand. “If you make me go to that house alone, I will spend all of my time in Jack’s office. I’ll move my bed in there. I swear to God.”
Jared had once told me that Jack’s office was the only room in my parents’ home that wasn’t wired with microphones or cameras. Jared could still hear me, of course, but having to guess what I was doing drove him crazy.
Jared smiled. “Don’t swear at Him. We need Him on our side.”
I frowned. “You know what I mean.”
He sighed. “Cynthia’s it is, then.”
9. Killing the Messenger
Nothing goes as planned. People say good-bye, buildings burn, and the impossibility of moving back in with Cynthia Grey after the age of eighteen can actually happen.
As I stood before the colossal home my father left to me after his death, I felt a bit nauseated at the prospect of walking its halls everyday again. Some of my best and worst memories happened within those walls: Jack chasing me down the halls, cooking my first meal, my father dying before my eyes, and everything I thought he was slipping away as I read a hidden file on the second floor.
But it was still home.
The gravel crunched beneath my feet as Jared walked me up the steps to the front door. The sun had hidden behind the thick clouds that were quickly moving in, and the air smelled like a mixture of winter and spring.
I took a deep breath and let it out as the wind blew the blond strands of my hair against my cheek. “I’m going to get unpacked and organized. I have to go into Titan before they think I’ve defected.”
Bex nodded once. “You got it.”
The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air as we walked in, and Cynthia’s heels signaled her approach. She stopped suddenly in the foyer.
“Oh! You startled me. Really, Nina, you could at least call if you’re going to visit so early.”
“We’re not visiting. We’re moving in,” I said, making my way up the stairs.
Cynthia rushed to the first step, looking up at us. “What on earth are you talking about?”
Jared turned to face her. “Donovan set explosives in the loft. Everything except what’s in our bags is gone.”
Cynthia paused for a moment, a common tactic of hers to calm her voice before she spoke when she was angry or taken off-guard. “Well, I’m glad Nina’s safe. How long will you be staying?”
“Indefinitely,” I said.
I had reached the top before she spoke again.
“You’re filthy,” she snapped, her heels clicking to the kitchen.
I smiled. She was always snippy when she didn’t want to show emotion—the soft sort.
Trying to find a professional ensemble from my high school wardrobe was nothing short of frustrating. It was then that it hit me that all of my belongings were gone: everything Jared and I had purchased together, the bed we shared, the downstairs tub. Different items in the loft flickered through my mind. It was strange how each of them, however insignificant they used to seem, were attached to a memory.
Tears pooled in my eyes and escaped down my cheek. I wiped them away and groaned. “I have nothing to wear! What was I thinking buying this crap?” I yelled. “Not a single pair of pumps matches anything in my closet!”
Jared sat on the end of bed, letting me express my anger and frustration with an understanding expression. After the rage-fueled tirade to find the right pair of shoes, I rode with Jared to Titan Mercantile.
We didn’t speak for most of the trip. Jared kept his eyes on the road, no doubt formulating a plan for the next step in finding the book. I was too tired to initiate conversation, or to try to find out piece by piece what plan of action he was considering.
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