by A. E. Radley
CHAPTER 23
Henry ate his ice cream while Emily and Olivia attempted to make polite conversation. They both tried to keep up the façade that Emily was not still angry.
Eventually, the meal was over and they walked back to the hotel. Henry, again, walked between them, holding both their hands.
“But you liked the lasagne and the dough balls,” Olivia laughed at Henry who had turned his nose up at the idea of his tasting plate.
“Yuck, yuck, yuck,” Henry chanted with a smile on his face, obviously having enjoyed more of the new foods than he was willing to let on.
His deliberately drawn-out ice cream eating meant it was time for bed by the time they returned to the suite. Once they arrived, Emily told him to go and get ready for bed. When he asked if Olivia would still read him a bedside story, Emily looked at Olivia, who nodded with a smile. Henry beamed and ran off to get into his pyjamas and Olivia looked at Emily.
“Can we talk now?”
“Once Henry is down,” Emily said softly as she walked over to a side table and picked up a handful of children’s books.
“What do I do?” Olivia took the books that Emily handed her.
“Let him choose a book, but just one He’ll try for more but only allow him to choose one because it’s late,” Emily explained.
“And then?”
“Read it to him,” Emily said simply.
“Okay,” Olivia nodded. “And then?”
Emily smiled. “Say goodnight, turn the light off, and leave the room.”
“Right,” Olivia said, her nervousness clear.
“It’s okay, Olivia, it’s just a bedtime story,” Emily said kindly.
“I’m not very good with this kind of thing.”
“You’ll do fine, and don’t worry because he’ll tell you if you’re doing something wrong.”
Henry returned to the sitting room wearing his pyjamas and looked excitedly at Olivia.
“Did you brush your teeth?” Emily asked. He opened his mouth for her to see and she leaned in and gave a small sniff. “I suspect you’ve just put toothpaste on your tongue again.” She smiled. “But I’ll get those teeth in the morning!”
Henry squealed with delight as his mother chased him into the bedroom. She picked him up, put him into bed, and quickly lifted his pyjama top to inspect the wound and bandage on his chest. Olivia stood at the doorway as Emily whispered goodnight to her son and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
“You can’t shout out the story from there, you’ll get hoarse,” Emily looked to Olivia in the doorway.
Olivia swallowed and entered the room. Henry shuffled a little to the side to give Olivia room on the bed. As soon as she sat down, Henry positioned himself against her side to look at the selection of books in her hand.
“All of them,” he announced.
“Henry,” Emily warned. “Just the one.” Henry was too tired to argue so he thoughtfully looked at the selection and picked a book about a cat who had gone to the moon.
“I’ll be in the sitting room,” Emily said and blew a kiss at Henry as she left.
Olivia placed the other books on the bedside table and opened the selected book to begin reading.
“Olivia,” Henry whispered before she started.
“Yes, Henry?” Olivia asked quietly, the bedtime routine seemingly making speech at a normal volume impossible.
“I’m sorry you couldn’t save the business,” Henry snuggled closely into her.
“So am I,” Olivia said as she placed a light kiss in his hair as she had seen Emily do on so many occasions.
“Is that why Mommy is mad?” Henry asked.
“Oh, no, Henry,” Olivia assured. “I…I made a mistake.”
“Mommy told me that everyone makes mistake,” Henry said through a yawn.
“Yes, they do,” Olivia said as she looked at the front page of the book. “Like buying a cat a space suit for his birthday.”
He giggled and Olivia read the book in hushed tones, occasionally pausing when Henry slapped his hand on the page to look at a picture in more depth before she moved on. The book was, thankfully, short and before long, Olivia placed it on the bedside table. She looked at the ridiculous artwork on the front cover and absently wondered at the decisions of the children’s literature industry.
Henry burrowed down into the bed and Olivia stood to go. “Olivia,” Henry called and she turned around and looked at his frowning face. “Goodnight kiss,” he told her in a tone that meant business.
Olivia leaned forward with every intention of kissing his forehead but as she got nearer he reached up and wrapped his arms around her neck, pulled her down, and kissed her on the lips in a quick, but sloppy, kiss.
“Night night,” he whispered and Olivia turned off the bedroom light and walked in a semi-daze into the sitting room. Emily had made coffee for them both and was sitting on the sofa with a thoughtful expression.
“All okay?” she asked.
“Yes,” Olivia sat down on the sofa beside Emily, leaving a lot of space between them.
“I made you coffee,” Emily said indicated the mug in front of Olivia.
“Thank you.”
“Olivia,” Emily sighed. “We need to talk about the ticket and other things.”
Olivia nodded. “I apologise for the ticket, I…I—”
“I know why you did it,” Emily interrupted. “And while I don’t necessarily agree with you spending thousands of dollars on a child to sit in first-class, I ultimately do understand why and I appreciate the sentiment.”
“Oh,” Olivia frowned as her brain tried to capture the increasingly confusing conversation for later playback and analysis.
“The thing is,” Emily sighed. “The airline has a very strict policy on socialising with premium and first-class passengers. And I don’t know how I’m supposed to explain how I managed to buy a first-class ticket for Henry when most of my co-workers know I only work the schedule I do because I’m in debt. And when they see you and him together they…they’re going to put two and two together and assume I’m sleeping with you.”
Realisation started to hit Olivia and she let out an, “Oh!” She mentally kicked herself for not even considering the fact.
“Yeah, and there is an element of pride to it as well,” Emily admitted. “But the truth of it is, I could lose my job. My boss is going to be pissed at me as it is now that the interview with Henry didn’t go her way. And I get the impression that she’s not exactly someone I want to piss off. She’s going to take one look at Henry eating lunch at your table and—”
“But,” Olivia interrupted. “I’ll vouch for you. I’ll tell the airline that they can’t fire you, I know how much I’m worth to them.”
Emily chuckled. “And then I have to work with people who resent me because I broke the rules but managed to stay because you’ve blackmailed them.”
“But I’ll protect you,” Olivia said. “I made the mistake so I will fix it.”
“And what about when you get bored of me?” Emily asked with a soft smile.
“What do you mean?” Olivia asked hesitantly.
“Olivia, I know your type of woman. I Googled you and there are loads of pictures of you and carbon-copy blondes. A premiere here, a party there, and the dates on those photos don’t show any of them being lasting relationships.”
Olivia leaned forward and pinched the bridge of her nose against the stress headache that was forming. She’d made a tactical error with the ticket and even she could see that now. And the knowledge that Emily knew about her love life was mortifying to say the least. She wanted to explain but didn’t know if she had the ability to do so.
“I’d like to explain.” She decided to try.
“You don’t have to.”
“I’d like to. I’d like to try anyway.”
“Okay,” Emily nodded.
“I’ve never had this conversation with anyone before,” Olivia admitted. “I’ve never known what to say.”
/> Olivia looked down at her hands in her lap and noticed that she was pinching the skin between her thumb and index finger again and grimaced. “This, this is a good example.”
Emily looked at Olivia’s bruised skin.
“I…I say the wrong things,” Olivia said. “All the time. My thoughts and my actions appear to have no filter. Sometimes, during a conversation that is particularly important to me, I’ll worry about saying the wrong thing. Sometimes my brain seems to feed the words straight to my mouth with very little happening in between. The pinching helps, it’s a reminder to not blurt out what I want to say. To take a second and to think before I speak.”
“When I met you, your hand wasn’t bruised like that,” Emily pointed out.
“No,” Olivia admitted, leaving the word hanging in the air for a few moments while she sorted her thoughts. “My type of woman is…has been…a direct result of my problem. When I was young, I fell in love with a woman. She was the first person in my life to understand me. She laughed off the stupid and thoughtless things I said and did. She tried to explain to me why they were the wrong things to say but, ultimately, I just couldn’t understand and…it didn’t work out.”
Olivia got to her feet and started to walk unhurriedly around the sitting room. “I soon found out that if I wanted any form of relationship, I had to be with someone who didn’t care that I said the wrong things. Someone who only wanted me for my money and would suffer the thoughtless behaviour. Women like the ones you saw in the photographs.” She paused and leant on the back of the sofa facing Emily. “I struggle to be understood. I wish I could help it but I can’t. And I do try, Lord knows I try, but time after time, even when I’m convinced I’m doing the right things, I seem to get blindsided.”
“Do you know why you do the wrong thing?” Emily asked.
“You mean a diagnosis? To be honest I never thought there was much point. I know I’m different, I know I cannot read social situations like other people so what good would a name do? Would it make it better? No. Would I actively walk around telling people the name of my disorder? No. But maybe I’m wrong again, maybe a diagnosis is what I need… You see, I really don’t know. But I do feel that a name will not help me or give me greater understanding. I’m just not capable of that kind of thought process.”
Emily nodded her understanding, “I can see your point, especially with these areas where a name isn’t a black and white diagnosis. Because you have X doesn’t mean you’ll do Y.”
“Precisely,” Olivia nodded, pleased that Emily understood her feelings on the subject.
“So, what changed? Why did you leave your business card for me? Or didn’t it change? Am I another of those women? The airhead flight attendant?”
Olivia balked. “No! Emily, I—I don’t see you like that at all. I admit, when I first saw you, I thought you were very attractive but then as I listened to you and watched your manner, I could see you were different. You were intelligent and caring and, I don’t know, I just wanted to take the risk. To go out for dinner with someone real, someone who I could actually talk to. And then I met Henry and…he’s such a wonderful boy. I saw you together and I saw more of you that I liked, more of you that I wanted to get to know. Please, don’t think that I put you in the same category as my previous dates.”
Emily acknowledged her understanding and Olivia continued.
“I didn’t know about the airline policy. If I had, I would have kept my distance,” she said. “I’ll…I’ll get Simon to change the name on the ticket and then the passenger will be a last minute no-show and Henry will get the seat as it will be vacant. Is…is that okay?”
“I’m still finding it a little hard to accept. That’s a lot of money, Olivia. It’s not dinner or tickets to the zoo.” Emily stood up and folded her arms as she looked out of the window.
“It’s not a lot of money to me,” Olivia said quietly. “I’m not the person who created these weird and wonderful rules regarding pride over personal wealth. Not to mention the fact that I don’t understand them. I see a problem and I know I can fix it, so I do.”
“I know,” Emily said. “I get that and I totally know why you are doing it and I appreciate it. But it’s still hard, it’s…”
Olivia waited for Emily to continue but nothing came. “It’s what?” she prompted.
“I don’t want to offend you.
Olivia snorted. “Oh, don’t worry about that; say what’s on your mind.”
Emily turned to face her. “It’s not…normal,” she winced as she said the word. “People don’t usually spend large amounts of money on people they don’t know unless they want something.”
Olivia thought about that for a moment before nodding. “Yes, I can understand that. But, that’s not the case here.”
“You know, I kind of believe that.”
“Good. You should.” After a moment of silence, Olivia quietly asked, “Am I forgiven?”
“Yes,” Emily said. “I know you didn’t mean any harm. You were just trying to do the right thing. Which could have ended very badly, so you need to talk to me and tell me what you’re doing.”
“But you wouldn’t have accepted it,” Olivia commented with a knowing grin.
Emily laughed. “See? You claim to not understand but you knew I wouldn’t have accepted it if you’d approached me first.”
“I’m socially inept, not stupid.”
“Why do you live in a hotel?” Emily suddenly asked.
Olivia looked around the suite. “I like it.”
“You don’t feel like you want a home? Someplace you can decorate to your own taste? Change things around?” Emily asked.
Olivia considered this for a moment before honestly replying. “I don’t know.”
“I suppose you have that in your place in New York?”
Olivia paused and looked at the floor. Emily crossed the room and pulled Olivia’s hands gently apart.
“Talk to me, I’m here to listen,” Emily said softly as she held Olivia’s hands in hers.
Olivia continued to look down at the floor in between them before quietly speaking. “I don’t have a place in New York.”
Emily spluttered, “Oh my God, you live in a hotel in New York too?”
Olivia’s hands clenched in hers and she softened her tone immediately. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, that was judgemental. I’m just really shocked; you spend all of your life in hotels?”
Olivia looked up at Emily, feeling shy, and nodded. “It…it wasn’t supposed to be that way, it just happened.”
“How long has it been?”
“Six years,” Olivia admitted, avoiding eye contact.
“Did something happen?”
“My wife died,” Olivia said quietly, her eyes fixed on the floor.
“I am so sorry, Olivia,” Emily said quietly.
Olivia nodded her silent gratitude and slightly tightened her hold on Emily’s hands, threading their fingers together.
“I don’t know what to say,” Emily admitted softly.
“There’s nothing to say. It was a long time ago.”
After a period of silence Olivia finally looked up to Emily’s face. As she did so Emily closed her eyes and leaned forward to gently connect their lips in a tender kiss. Olivia felt her mouth quiver and the smallest tremor of desire shot between them—
“Mommy?”
Emily broke away as if burned. She stepped backwards and stared at Olivia, apparently shocked by her own actions. She turned towards Henry who stood in the doorway rubbing his eyes and holding Tiny by a foot.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Emily asked.
“I had a bad dream,” he whispered. Emily lifted him into her arms, holding him close.
Olivia felt her heartbeat racing. Her lips still tingled at the sensation from the soft kiss.
“Will you read to me?” Henry asked his mother.
Emily turned to look at Olivia, an apologetic look on her face.
“Go,” Olivia whispered
softly with a small smile.
“I’ll be back soon,” Emily promised, and with Henry burrowed into her arms, she headed back to the bedroom.
CHAPTER 24
A few pages into his favourite story and Henry had fallen back to sleep. Emily sat in the softly lit room with her heart still racing. True, she found Olivia intriguing, kind, and incredibly attractive, but even she hadn’t fully understood how deep her feelings ran until she initiated that kiss.
The whole evening had been sparking with emotions from the debacle with the airline tickets to the bombshell that Olivia was a widow. Emily found herself wondering about Olivia’s wife. She already knew so little about Olivia and now here was a new layer; Emily felt even more in the dark.
Henry grunted and turned over in his sleep and she watched over him for a moment. The breakup of her last relationship had been hard on him, and she had been telling herself to keep her distance from Olivia to protect him. But the truth was that it seemed too late for that, Henry was as totally enamoured with Olivia as she was.
She didn’t know what to do, but hiding in the bedroom wasn’t the answer. She took a deep breath and returned to the living room, where Olivia waited pensively on the sofa.
“Is he okay?” Olivia asked, the concern evident in her voice.
“Yes, he went back to sleep quickly.”
“Was it our discussion? Were we disturbing him?” Olivia asked.
“No.” Emily shook her head. “He’s a kid, they have bad dreams sometimes.”
Olivia nodded seemingly at a loss for further words. “So…”
“So,” Emily repeated. Olivia looked stiff and uncomfortable.
Emily joined her on the sofa, curling one leg under herself.
After a moment of silence, she let out a chuckle and Olivia looked at her curiously.
“I’m sorry,” Emily said. “I just realised my vocabulary is completely ill-equipped to have the conversation I want to have with you.”
“How so?”
“I need to apologise. Kissing you like that, and just after you told me you’d lost your wife,” Emily closed her eyes in shame.