Legwork

by Roland Smith

  “What about your hair?” I asked.

  “I don’t want my hair.”

  “What about your daddy?”

  “My daddy’s dead.”

  So we were back to that. I didn’t know if I had the energy to start it all over again, but I had to try.

  “Belinda, your daddy—”

  I heard a loud noise and suddenly a helicopter appeared out of nowhere with it’s giant search light sweeping across the clearing. It stopped right over the top of us, blowing grass and sticks all over the place.

  “The dragon!” Belinda screamed.

  I scooped her off the ground and started running toward a stand of trees. I was sure they had seen us and I knew the other CODL members wouldn’t be far behind.

  “We’ll burn up,” Belinda yelled. “I don’t want to burn up.”

  I wanted to comfort her, but there wasn’t any time. I was running full speed and the helicopter was right behind us. As soon as we got into the stand I hid behind a tree. The helicopter swooped above trying to spot us with its searchlight. By now it had radioed the others and they would move in for a ground search.

  Belinda was crying hysterically now. “I want to go home,” she moaned.

  “i’ll get you home, Belinda. I promise,” I shouted above the noise. “But first we have to get away from the dragon.”

  When the helicopter flew passed us I moved deeper into the woods right behind it. When it swung back around I hid behind a tree and waited to move forward until it passed over us again.

  After about a half hour of this helicopter hopscotch it started to make wider swings and I was convinced that it hadn’t spotted us since we ran into the woods. The wide swings it was making allowed us to move further and further away. After a couple hours we were at least three miles from the search area, but I knew this wasn’t far enough. We had to keep moving.

  I carried Belinda up and down hills and across small streams. I had no idea where we were, but the dragon was gone and we were safe. At least for now.

  When my arms got tired I put Belinda on my shoulders, when my shoulders started to ached I transferred her back to my arms. After awhile she fell asleep and didn’t even wake up when I moved her.

  We came to the edge of what looked like a huge meadow and I knew I couldn’t go any further. We were both cold, tired, and hungry. I collapsed on the ground next to a fallen tree. There was just enough room underneath it for us to hide and get some rest.

  As I closed my eyes I thought about Theodore. He was our only chance of being found by the authorities. I hoped that he was awake trying to get us out of this.

  The Three Bears

  ~

  “Doggies!” Belinda shouted gleefully.

  At first I thought I was dreaming. I opened my eyes and saw the tree trunk overhead. The sun was just coming up. I was pretty groggy and it took awhile for me to remember where I was.

  “Doggies!” Belinda repeated.

  What was she talking about? I crawled out from under the log and saw her standing up, pointing across the meadow.

  “See?” She said.

  I looked. The meadow was covered with a light ground fog. In the middle of it were two grizzly bear cubs. One of them was standing on two feet sniffing the air, looking in our direction.

  “Those aren’t doggies!” I shouted, starting towards her.

  Just as I was about to grab her, I saw four men come out of the woods on the far side of the meadow. None of them had hair. The second cub stood up and snorted in alarm.

  “There they are!” One of the men shouted.

  I swept Belinda into my arms and started to run. I’d only taken a couple of steps when I heard a very loud bellowing sound. I glanced back and stopped when I saw what was happening.

  There were now three bears standing in the center of the meadow—two little bears and one giant mother bear. She wasn’t happy about the four bald men standing a hundred feet away from her cubs. The men weren’t happy either.

  The mother grizzly charged them and I was shocked at how quickly she moved. But not as shocked as the men were. They turned and ran for their lives back towards the woods.

  “Bad doggies,” Belinda said, watching the men run.

  “No way!” I shouted. “Good offensive lineman!” It was nice to know that I wasn’t alone on the playing field.

  “I’m hungry,” she said. “I want to go home now.”

  “We’ll be there soon,” I told and we started off again.

  If the bear didn’t catch them, I knew the search party would regroup. It wouldn’t be long until they were after us again. I walked through the woods for a couple of miles, then stopped to rest.

  “I want my mommy,” Belinda said.

  “I know,” I said. “We’ll find her.” But I didn’t believe it. Despite the bear running interference for us, it was only a matter of time until they found us.

  “We could call her,” she said.

  “We don’t have a phone,” I said.

  “In your pocket,” she said.

  I pulled the radio out of my back pocket. “This isn’t a phone, Belinda.”

  “Mommy talks on it.”

  “I know, but it’s not a real phone. See, there are no numbers on it.”

  I handed it to her and she turned the knob on top.

  “Did you copy that?” A man asked.

  “Negative.”

  “See,” Belinda said.

  I grabbed it away from her and turned up the volume. I thought I might get lucky and hear the grizzly bear tearing those guys apart.

  “We’re near the Arrowhead Meadow,” the man continued. “We had them, but we got chased off by a bear.”

  “I copy that. What direction were they heading? Over.”

  “I’d guess they’re about a half a mile from the trail by now. We’re not far behind them.”

  “Roger. Continue pursuit.”

  I put the radio back in my pocket, then took out my map and found Arrowhead Meadow. They had just told me where we were! I spread the map out on the ground, and with my compass, plotted a course to the trail.

  “We’ve got to go, Belinda.” I picked her up and started jogging.

  It didn’t take long to find the trail. About a half an hour later we came across a sign with the most beautiful words I’d ever seen: Mammoth Hot Springs - 2 miles. I set Belinda on the ground, let out a whoop of joy, and jumped in the air.

  Belinda stared at me and I think she was a little frightened by my outburst.

  “Do you know what that sign says?” I asked.

  She shook her head.

  “It says home, Belinda.”

  She grinned.

  The Goal Line

  ~

  I set Belinda on the ground and caught my breath.

  “Is mommy here?” She asked.

  “Not exactly,” I said. “But we can call her from that building.”

  We were at the trail head. The only sounds were the distant calls of elk bugling to each other. All I had to do was get Belinda into the lobby of the Mammoth Hotel. There were people with hair in there—people who would help us. To reach the hotel all we had to cross an open space of about two hundred yards.

  “Let’s call mommy,” Belinda said. “And eat.”

  I picked her up and started across the lawn. To my surprise, no defensive tackles ran out after us and no cars burnt rubber trying to block our way. It was just a quiet morning at Mammoth Hot Springs and I was bald tourist carrying a little girl in my arms. The playing field was wide open, but about halfway across the lawn all this changed.

  “Men,” Belinda said. “Running.”

  At first I didn’t know what she was talking about. All I saw was the Mammoth Hotel drawing nearer. Then I realized that she was looking over my shoulder towards the trail head. I turned around. Brother Thomas and Scarface were sprinting across the lawn toward us. Thomas looked a lot different with street clothes, but there was no mistaking his muscle-bound body.

  I
put Belinda down. “Run!” I shouted. “Go to the building! Your mom’s inside waiting for you.”

  But it was too late. Belinda didn’t take more than three or four steps before the men were on us. Scarface scoop Belinda off the lawn like a hungry hawk snatching a mouse. An instant later, Thomas slammed into me like a meteorite and drove me into the ground. Before I could regain my breath he grabbed my arm and yanked me to my feet.

  “Time to go,” he said.

  Belinda was struggling to get out of Scarface’s arms, but it was futile. I looked over at the hotel just in time to see a white Rolls Royce pull up in front. The rear door opened and Sister Bonita stepped out, but she didn’t look like a priestess anymore. She was wearing regular clothes and had a wig on. She looked exactly like the photo of Belinda’s mother I had seen.

  “Mommy!” Belinda shouted, struggling harder to get out of Scarface’s clutch.

  Just then, a helicopter appeared from behind the trees and started moving toward the lawn.

  “Amanda!” Sister Bonita yelled. “Come to...” But her words were drowned out by the din of the helicopter rotors.

  “The Dragon!” Belinda shouted in terror.

  With my free hand I reached for the bear spray clipped to my belt and shot a stream into Thomas’s face. He dropped to the ground like I’d hit him with a flame-thrower and started choking and gagging. Scarface put Belinda down and ran towards me. I pushed the nozzle again and he joined Brother Thomas wreathing on the ground. Two down, one high priestess to go. I ran after Belinda.

  I caught her before she reached Bonita and picked her up. “That’s not your mommy, Belinda.”

  “Yes it is!” She insisted.

  Three police cars came roaring down the road with their sirens blaring and lights flashing. At that same moment, the helicopter landed and a man and a woman jumped out of it before the rotors stopped whirling.

  “Let me go,” Belinda screamed. “I want to go to my mommy.”

  “i’ll take you to her.” I turned away from Bonita and started toward the helicopter.

  “Mommy’s by the car!” Belinda insisted.

  “No, Belinda. Your Mommy’s by the dragon and your Daddy’s with her. Look!”

  Belinda’s parents sprinted across the lawn. I didn’t know how they had gotten on that helicopter and I didn’t care. I was just happy to see them, but not half as happy as Belinda’s parents were to see their little daughter. With tears streaming down their faces, they took Belinda from my arms and hugged her with joyful relief.

  “You’ve been busy,” someone said from behind me. I turned around. It was Uncle Willy, dressed in three-piece suit, carrying his ivory-headed cane. He was with another man. “This is Lieutenant Boswell, from the Montana State Police.”

  “What happened to your head?” The Lieutenant asked.

  “It’s a long story.”

  “I’m sorry it took us so long to get here,” Uncle Willy continued. “We thought you were still at the CODL commune. When we didn’t find you there we flew back hoping you’d show up here. Looks like we got here just in time.”

  “We’re you flying around last night?” I asked.

  “No,” he said. “We flew out of Bozeman early this morning.”

  “Well, I’m glad to hear that,” I said. At least I hadn’t run from the good guys the previous evening. They both looked confused and I explained the encounter with the CODL dragon the night before.

  I looked across the lawn at the white Rolls Royce. Bonita was flanked by two policemen. Her wig was falling off her head as she stared at Belinda and her parents hugging each other.

  Brother Thomas and Scarface were still on the ground gagging. A group of policemen were helping them by snapping handcuffs on their wrists. After they were cuffed, the police hauled them to their feet.

  They didn’t look so good. Their eyes were red and swollen. Tears ran down their faces, but they weren’t tears of joy over the happy reunion.

  Belinda’s father came over to me and shook my hand. “We’ll never be able to thank you enough, Briggs.”

  “No problem,” I said. “Glad to help.”

  Uncle Willy grinned.

  Youth Sleuths

  ~

  It took several hours to get everything straightened out. The police took statements from everyone. Bonita, Brother Thomas, and Scarface were arrested and taken away.

  When it was all over we discovered that the helicopter wouldn’t hold five passengers for the flight back to Bozeman. Uncle Willy told Belinda’s parents they could take the chopper and we’d borrow a car and drive to the airport in Bozeman.

  On the way, he told me that the case was over for me and I probably wouldn’t have to appear in court.

  “It’s best to keep you and Theodore out of it,” he said. “Your parents might be upset if they knew.”

  That was an understatement! I was going to have enough trouble explaining my bald head to them. I decided to tell them that Stanley and I made a bet and I lost. They were going to be mad, but knowing Stanley like they did, they wouldn’t doubt the story for a minute.

  I leaned against the window, closed my eyes, and didn’t wake up until we got to the airport.

  On the airplane I asked Uncle Willy how he and Theodore had become partners. He got a sad, far away look in his eyes.

  “It was late at night,” he began. “I’d been out drinking with the cast of One Day To Remember...”

  “You mean the soap opera?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he said. “I played William Sampson on the show for fifteen years.”

  No wonder he liked to watch the soaps, I thought.

  “Anyway,” he continued. “I was driving home, thinking about the next day’s shoot, when Theodore ran out from behind a parked car. I didn’t see him, but I probably would have if I hadn’t been drinking. I hit him—severed his spine and ran into another car. The only injury I got was a bum leg. Poor little Theodore never took another step.”

  “I had no idea.”

  “Theodore doesn’t like to talk about it much,” he said. “After the accident I went to the hospital everyday to visit him. I took a leave of absence from the show, joined Alcoholics Anonymous, and got off the bottle.”

  “But who started the YS Detective Agency?” I asked.

  “Theodore,” Uncle Willy said. “During our conversations at the hospital he told me that he wanted to be a private detective when he grew up. The agency started out as a game, really. Something to keep Theodore’s mind off things. But Theodore took it very seriously. We started to get cases and Theodore solved them without ever leaving his house. I did the legwork and he did the brainwork. He has a real genius for it.”

  I couldn’t argue that with him. “And you never went back to the soaps?”

  He shook his head.

  “Do you miss acting?”

  “Not at all. Oh, I like to watch the soaps on television, but i’ve found that real life is a lot more interesting and rewarding.”

  I sat there awhile, letting all this sink in. “What does the YS stand for?” I asked.

  Uncle Willy chuckled. “Youth Sleuths,” he said. “It was something we came up with in the hospital. We’re both a little embarrassed about it now, but I don’t think we’ll change it.”

  “And do his parents know about this?”

  “They certainly know about me,” Willy said. “We’ve become pretty good friends since the accident. But they don’t really know about Theodore’s real part in the detective agency. They think it’s something I allow Theodore to help me with, when in reality I’m the one helping him. They’re just happy that Theodore has something to occupy his time.”

  “Belinda’s parents are happy too,” I said.

  Uncle Willy smiled. “Indeed they are. Thanks to you.”

  ***

  We didn’t get home until late that evening. Uncle Willy dropped me off at my house.

  The front door was locked and I didn’t want to wake up my sister so I went around t
o the back porch. I opened the screen door, switched on the light, and before I knew what was happening, my dog Spike tried to kill me. I fell backwards down the stairs. Spike bit my leg, and when I tried to push him off, he bit my hand.

  “It’s me, Spike!” I yelled. “It’s me!”

  He stopped snapping at me, but continued to growl. Until that moment, I had no idea that he hated bald people.

  I stood up and heard the back door open.

  “Briggs?” Teri asked nervously.

  “Yeah, it’s me,” I said in disgust.

  “What’s going on out there?” She demanded.

  “Spike and I are just playing,” I said, stepping into the light.

  “What happened to you?” She yelled, staring at my head.

  “I lost a bet with Stanley.” I started up the stairs. Spike continued to growl behind me.

  “You look stupid,” Teri said. “Mom and dad are going to kill you.”

  I brushed past her and turned on the kitchen light. It was a disaster area. I walked into the living room. It looked worse than the kitchen.

  “I think you’re the one who’s going to be killed,” I said.

  “I had a little party,” she said. “i’ll get it cleaned up tomorrow and you’re going to help me.”

  I laughed. “What makes you think that?”

  “If you don’t,” she shrieked. “i’ll tell mom and dad that you shaved your head.”

  I just stared at her. “I think they’ll figure that out on their own. Don’t you?”

  I walked upstairs to my room before she could respond. I barely got my clothes off before I dropped on the bed and fell asleep.

  No Glory

  ~

  I didn’t wake up until late the next morning. I went into the bathroom and took a shower, trying very hard not to look at myself in the mirror.

  The only thing I found in the kitchen to eat was some stale cereal. Everything else had been devoured by my sister’s friends. There was no milk and no clean bowl to put it in. I ate a couple handfuls out of the box.

  Before I went out the backdoor I put on my baseball cap so Spike wouldn’t rip my throat out. He growled a couple of times and eyed me suspiciously, but settled down after he heard my voice.