“Right. I forgot.”
“Ryan, thanks for everything.” She pushed her hair out of her face. “It meant a lot to me that you came to the hospital.”
“Hey, I’d never miss the chance to see you in a hospital gown.” He raised his brows.
“You’re terrible.” She gave him a shove, but as she did, he grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him, stopping just inches from her face. They were close—too close—but she didn’t want to pull away. He loosened his grip on her arm but kept a hold on her. His hand slipped into hers. He moved even closer and her heart raced. What was happening? This was Brooks.
She stared at their hands, intertwined. Oh. This was Brooks. Brooks, who had beautiful green eyes and a nearly undetectable scar underneath the right one. Brooks, who’d paid such close attention to her—not just this past week, but even when she was young. Brooks, who knew all her secrets—all the things she was embarrassed about or ashamed of—and didn’t seem to mind one bit.
And he’d been here all along.
He lifted her chin so he could meet her eyes; then his hand moved to her neck, the feel of it on her skin turning her stomach upside down.
“I don’t want to mess this up,” he said, both hands on her face now, his eyes searching hers. “But I’ve wanted to kiss you since I was sixteen.”
Lane inched back slightly and studied his face. Was he serious? “Since you were sixteen?”
“That day on the beach—that stupid game of truth or dare.”
Lane’s stomach turned. She remembered. Another day of humiliation for her.
“Don’t do that,” he said, lifting her chin again, forcing her gaze. “Don’t let that old memory have control over you. I’m telling you I was the idiot. I am the one who should be ashamed.”
She shook her head. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I didn’t do anything right either.” His thumb traced the edges of her lips, then rested on her cheek. “I wanted to kiss you that day. I was so nervous, and I didn’t want everyone watching. And I wasn’t sure I wanted our first kiss to be on a dare.”
This couldn’t be true. She’d been overweight and awkward. She conversed better with adults than kids her own age. She preferred books to people. What was there for him to like about her? She couldn’t think of a single thing.
“This is a bad idea,” she whispered. But even as she said the words, he covered her lips with his own, his kiss unhurried and soft, as if he wanted to take his time, to experience the fullness of a kiss he’d waited so many years to have.
She closed her eyes and within seconds she was lost in him—lost in the way his lips moved over hers, the way he backed her up to the counter, the way he wrapped his arms around her like he couldn’t get close enough.
She wound her arms around him, the muscles in his back taut underneath her hands, her mind wandering all the way to nothing as if she didn’t have a single care in the world.
But she did have a care. Many cares. And this feeling—this caught-up-in-something-new feeling—was risky. It was what had led her to heartbreak with Jasper.
Ryan wasn’t Jasper, though. Ryan was Brooks. Someone she’d known all her life. He’d never hurt her the way others had. And yet . . . she’d thought that about Jasper once too.
She pulled away, eyes on his chest.
He must’ve sensed her apprehension because he straightened, concerned gaze on her. “You’re freaked out.”
She leaned back. “No, no, of course not.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—” He ran a hand over his mouth and chin, searching her eyes. “I’m sorry, Lane.”
He walked past her, picked up his duffel bag, and headed out the door, leaving her with nothing but silence and an unwelcome desire to run after him.
CHAPTER
29
THE NEXT MORNING, Lane woke up with the memory of Ryan’s kiss fresh in her mind. She’d replayed the moment over and over before finally drifting off to sleep, and never with the kind of disdain her head told her she should have.
Now, as thoughts of the day ahead pulled her out of bed, she realized she’d liked kissing him. And if she was honest, she wanted to do it again.
The thought alarmed her. What if Brooks discovered—like Jasper had—that she wasn’t worth loving?
She shoved the question aside and got ready for the day. Visiting Nate was her top priority. Unlike the first time she’d been home, she didn’t feel obligated or put out in being here. She actually wanted to be in Harbor Pointe. The thought surprised her.
Nate’s stream of visitors had slowed down by the time Lane had left town, but thanks to Dottie, there was still rarely a moment when he was alone. Lane remembered the first day she’d walked into the hospital, over a week ago. So much had happened in that time, she could hardly wrap her head around it.
She exited the elevator on the third floor and strode toward Nate’s room. She pushed the door open and found her parents standing by Nate’s bed with Walker Jones.
“Lane?” She couldn’t be sure, but her mom almost looked relieved to see her.
“You’re back.” Her dad drew her into a hug—the kind of hug only he could give. For a long moment, she didn’t respond, her arms limp at her sides. Her dad only held her tighter, until finally Lane hugged him back. Then he pulled away and studied her. “Good. Where you belong.”
Lane chose not to dwell on the comment. In her displaced state, she was likely to give it more weight than it deserved.
“Is everything okay?” She glanced at Walker, who wore an annoying smirk.
“Better now that you’re here.” Walker winked at her.
“Mom?” Lane asked, ignoring him.
“We were just discussing the progress on Nate’s case,” her mom said. “We really want to know who’s responsible for this.” Her voice shook as she finished the sentence.
“Any new information?” Lane knew Noah was intent on finding whoever had run Nate and Ryan off the road, but last she heard, nobody knew anything.
“Trying to lean a little harder on Brooks. He seems to know more than he’s letting on.”
Lane remembered how at the farmers’ market Walker had implied Ryan knew something. The comment had gotten under her skin, but she couldn’t believe it was true. If he knew something, he’d say so.
“Ryan?” Dottie practically gasped his name. “There’s no way he knows something and isn’t telling us. He wouldn’t do that. I’m sure he wants to figure out who is responsible as much as we do.”
Walker looked unconvinced. “I’m just telling you what my gut is saying to me.”
“Well, your gut is wrong,” Lane said. “You obviously don’t know Ryan very well if you think he’d keep something this important from our family.”
“That’s cute,” Walker said. “But he acts like someone with something to hide.”
“What are you saying?” Dottie asked. “That Ryan is somehow responsible for the accident?”
Walker shrugged. “It’s a possibility. Either that or he knows more about what happened.”
A nurse entered the room, drawing their attention. Lane was thankful for the distraction. She didn’t like Walker in the first place, and his suggestion that Ryan was a liar made her furious.
After the nurse finished checking on Nate, Lane’s mother stood and looked at her father. “I could use a cup of coffee.”
Frank nodded. “Lane, you’ll stay with Nate?”
“Of course.”
Lane’s parents followed the nurse out of the room, leaving her with Walker Jones.
“You should probably go now, Walker,” Lane said.
“You want to go to dinner sometime?” He hitched his thumbs in his belt loops and eyed her like she was a perfectly cooked prime rib.
“With you?”
“’Course with me. I’ll show you a good time. You seem tense. I can help you with that.”
“No.”
His brow furrowed. “Why not?”
“So many reasons.”
He took a step toward her. “I see how it is. You’re not fat anymore, so you think you’re better than the rest of us.” He’d emphasized the word fat like it was heavier than the other words.
Lane’s face flushed and she was fifteen again, wearing a skirt that had gotten tighter since the last time she wore it and wishing Mr. Dobbs hadn’t called on her to solve a math problem on the whiteboard at the front of the class.
She’d stood there, back to the rest of the group, aware of their stares, their comments, their jokes—but she could’ve tried to ignore them if it weren’t for Walker Jones, who always seemed to have it in for her.
She solved the problem, and as she returned to her seat, Walker covered his face with his hands and snorted—something that happened a lot those days when Lane walked by. There was a ripple of laughter as Lane finally took her seat, trying desperately not to cry.
She lifted her chin and pretended not to notice or care, wondering how high school kids could act so juvenile, but fresh tears stung her eyes.
Her mind strained as she played through the rest of that day. After school, Brooks came by Summers and her dad told her to make him whatever he wanted. They’d gone down to the dock to eat their sandwiches with their feet dangling in Lake Michigan, and Ryan made her forget all about Walker and her rotten day at school.
Recalling it now, she realized he’d most likely had a pretty bad day himself, but as soon as he saw her sullen face, it was like his only goal was to cheer her up. How had she forgotten that kindness?
“Are you thinking about it or . . . ?”
Walker’s question pulled her back to reality. She wasn’t that girl anymore. And while she’d felt so alone in those years, her memory reminded her she wasn’t. She never had been.
“You can go, Walker,” Lane said, ignoring his question.
He strolled over to her and got much too close, looked her up and down, then—finally—walked out of the room, taking with him the memories she’d worked so hard to forget.
CHAPTER
30
RYAN SAT IN HIS BOOTH at Hazel’s, waiting for Hailey, who was now ten minutes late. Betsy strolled over and refilled his coffee mug.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked. “You look like you haven’t slept in a week.”
That was fairly accurate. He hadn’t slept well at Lane’s apartment because he was worrying about Lane, and after his massive mistake last night, he’d welcomed dawn from the comforts of Hailey’s sofa, where he’d sat for most of the night, wide-awake and kicking himself for kissing her in the first place.
It had been some kiss, though. Mostly he was searching his mind for a way to do it again.
But he’d scared her off. So much for slowly earning her trust.
“I’m fine,” he lied.
Betsy’s face said she didn’t believe him, but he didn’t need to get into it with her. Or anyone. He was too humiliated.
Hailey rushed in—Jack-less—and sat down across from him. She wore her Hazel’s uniform because her shift started in forty-five minutes.
“Sorry,” she said. “I dropped Jack off, but I forgot his lunch at home and had to run back and get it for him. Why do they save all the field trips for the very last month of school?”
“Great question,” Betsy said. “Another great question is ‘What’s wrong with your brother?’”
Hailey frowned, then turned her attention to Ryan. “You do look awful.”
“Thanks. You girls sure know how to make a guy feel good about himself first thing in the morning.”
“Sorry,” Hailey and Betsy said in unison.
“What’s wrong?” Hailey echoed Betsy’s concern.
“Nothing’s wrong. Let’s order and eat so I can get to work.”
Hailey and Betsy exchanged a look; then Hailey moved over and Betsy slid in next to her, both of them staring at Ryan.
“Oh, man.” He took his baseball cap off and raked his hands through his hair.
“We know a lovesick man when we see one,” Hailey said. “And you, big brother, are like the poster child.”
“It’s Lane, isn’t it?” Betsy folded her hands on top of the table like they were about to have an important talk.
“You don’t have to answer. We already know it’s Lane,” Hailey said.
“It’s been Lane for a long time,” Betsy confirmed. Another knowing look between the two of them.
“I haven’t seen Lane in years, you guys.” Ryan took a drink of his coffee, mostly because he didn’t know what to do with himself under their watchful gaze.
“Okay, so it was Lane a long time ago and now it’s Lane all over again,” Betsy said. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”
“Really?” His eyes darted from Betsy to Hailey and back. “The two of you are going to give me advice on this topic? How are your love lives again?”
Hailey waved him off. “We’re not talking about us here.”
“No, of course not,” Ryan said. “Bets, I’m on a schedule. Can I get my—?”
But before he could finish the sentence, one of the other waitresses set a plate in front of him.
“You underestimate me.” Betsy smirked.
Hailey narrowed her gaze. “Okay, you were up all night—something is obviously bothering you.”
His food didn’t even look appetizing anymore.
“We know you went to see her in Chicago,” Betsy said.
“And you brought her back here with you.”
“And you gave up your house for her.”
“I didn’t give up my house for her,” Ryan said. “She’s helping with the design of the cottages. That’s all.”
“That is so obviously not all,” Hailey said. “Why don’t you ask her out?”
He drew in a breath and avoided his sister’s irritating stare.
“You did ask her out,” Hailey said triumphantly as if she’d just solved a Rubik’s Cube for the first time.
“Not exactly,” Ryan said, the memory of the moment his lips touched Lane’s haunting and exciting him at the same time.
Hailey and Betsy shared a quick glance.
“It was stupid. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You kissed her,” Hailey said.
Betsy gasped.
“Or . . . was it more than a kiss?”
“No, it wasn’t,” Ryan said. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
Hailey smiled. “You kissed her.”
“Was it romantic?” Betsy asked. “How’d it happen?”
“Did you take her down to the dock and kiss her under the light of the moon?” Hailey’s voice had gotten weird and breathy.
“Or maybe you were out on the porch, ready to leave, and she grabbed your hand and stopped you before you could go, and when you turned around, you looked in her eyes and you couldn’t help yourself . . .” Betsy’s tone matched Hailey’s as she practically acted out the scene she described.
“You two have officially lost your minds,” Ryan said, shaking his head. “Both of you need to get out more.” And he needed to find some guy friends.
“That’s actually true,” Hailey said, “but since we don’t, we have to live vicariously through you.”
“Great.” Ryan took a bite of his eggs, swallowing before he could taste them.
“So what’s the problem? You should’ve kissed her years ago,” Betsy said. “I mean, I admit, when she left for college, I figured that was the last we’d ever see of her, but the day you two walked back in here, it was pretty obvious there was still something between you.”
“You think?” Ryan washed his eggs down with a swig of orange juice.
“I think everyone knows it except the two of you,” Hailey agreed.
Ryan let out a sigh. “I don’t think she’s interested.”
Betsy shifted in her seat. “Look, Ryan, I used to know Lane really well, and even when we were kids, she was always strong-willed, but she’s also real
ly shy.”
“But not with me,” Ryan said. “She’s never been shy with me.”
“All I’m saying is Lane is independent. If you want her, you’re going to have to pursue her.” Betsy met his gaze. “Because she thinks she’s better off by herself.”
“Maybe she is,” Ryan said.
Hailey huffed. “You don’t believe that, so don’t even pretend.”
“You’re right. I don’t. I think she needs someone in her life to balance her out a little—remind her that there’s more to living than work.”
“Then go do that.” Hailey clapped a hand over his.
“How?”
“Don’t give up on her,” Hailey said.
“Just show her you’re one of the good guys,” Betsy added. “Because after Jasper, she’s probably decided there’s none of those left.”
Ryan finished the last of his breakfast and fished a ten-dollar bill from his wallet. He set it on the table. “I have to get to work.”
“Is that for our counseling services?” Hailey asked as he threw the money on the table.
Ryan stood. “Thanks or whatever.”
“We’re here whenever you need us,” Betsy said.
“Whether you want us or not.” Hailey grinned.
CHAPTER
31
ONCE WALKER HAD GONE, Lane let out the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding and dropped her bag on the floor next to Nate’s bed. She sank into the chair and drew a deep breath. Maybe this was a mistake. She’d been back one day and already she’d ruined her friendship with Brooks and had a run-in with Walker Jones.
But, she remembered, she had nothing in Chicago to go back to.
She pulled out her phone, which had been eerily silent, and opened her social media accounts. Also eerily silent. It had been days since she’d posted anything—would her followers forget all about her?
“Oh, I didn’t realize anyone was in here.”
She didn’t have to turn around to recognize the voice that came from behind her. Lindsay.
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