Then I started thinking about how the last thing I should be thinking about is what he’d ingested before kissing me. No, I told myself, there are worse things I could be thinking about while being kissed, like other people, and what they kiss like. Like Brady. Which made me think of that kiss at the dance. That incredibly hot kiss in the supply closet.
I suddenly couldn’t think of anything else.
NO! I told myself. No more thoughts about Brady! I’m with Jared. I’m being kissed by Jared.
Jared. My boyfriend.
Whose one hand was on my back pressing me against him. He felt good, his hard muscular body against my softness. I let myself get carried away in that. Then his other hand was on my neck, tangling in the hair at my nape, which felt amazing, but suddenly the sense memory of Dave’s lips on my neck came flashing back to me. Before I even realized, a soft moan erupted from the back of my throat, making Jared react, pulling me even closer to him.
Which of course made me lose my kissing mojo, because no one is a good kisser when they are thinking of someone they are most certainly not kissing. Guilt over moaning about the wrong guy doesn’t make for great kissing, either.
What is my brain doing to me?
I panicked and forced thoughts of all other guys out of my head, refocusing my attention on Jared, the sweet and hot guy who was kissing me. I pressed my fingers into his muscular shoulders and inhaled his heady clean masculine scent, reminding myself once and for all that this was Jared. I leaned in to give him my all, pressing myself into him, ready to really deepen the kiss.
That’s the precise moment we banged teeth.
Into The Zone
We grunted simultaneously—which was about the only thing we had done in sync—and backed away from each other.
He blinked at me blankly and I must have looked at him the way the helpless girls in slasher films look at the crazed killer, because I couldn’t have been any more horrified than I was in that moment. Although unlike the ubiquitous stupid victim who always ended up dead, I kind of wanted to die in that moment.
“I am so sorry, Jared,” I croaked, my voice hoarse even after I cleared my throat.
He gave me one of those tight half-smiles, making me feel even worse. “It’s okay,” he lied.
I focused my eyes somewhere over his left shoulder. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s...”
Jared shook his head decisively, cutting me off. “I’m not doing it for you, am I?” he asked.
“What?” I gasped, my eyes suddenly drawn to his face. “No, I...” the words dissolving on my tongue because I couldn’t look at him and lie.
“Come on, Brooklyn,” he said, squeezing my arm. “I’ve been lied to my whole life. I’ve been surrounded by fakers, pretending to like me because I’m a celebrity. Don’t you do it, too. I can take that you aren’t into me, but I can’t take the lies.”
I took a breath and met his eyes, feeling the prick of tears in my own. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “That’s the honest truth. I really am, Jared.”
“Don’t be,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I guess I knew, but thought maybe if you got to know me...” his words trailed off and he shrugged.
Ugh, could he be any sweeter? “Jared, I did get to know you. You’re funny and sweet and...”
“Don’t forget sexy,” he said with a sad smile.
A hot blush crept up my face at the memory of his hard, sexy body pressed against me just moments ago. “You’re kidding, right? You’re totally sexy and I really do like you. Just...”
“Not that way,” he said.
“Not that way,” I agreed on a sigh. Because life would be so much easier if I did like him that way. I realized in that second that this was what had just happened to Emmie and Dave. I’d had so much trouble understanding how she could reject such an amazing guy, and here I was doing the exact same thing.
Jared echoed my sigh, bringing my thoughts back to him. “I’ve been friend zoned.”
I cringed.
“How does it happen?” he asked.
“What?”
He blew out a breath. “How do I keep ending up in the friend zone? I’m nice, I work out, I’m hot as hell, or so you tell me.” He smiled at me when I laughed, then said, “And I even tell good jokes...I don’t get it.”
“Girls are stupid,” I said.
He smirked. “I hate to point out the obvious, but,” he made a sweeping gesture toward me.
“I know,” I said, laughing. “I’m totally including myself. You’re a great guy, Jared. Honestly. And I guess that’s why I let it get this far even though I suppose deep down I knew that it probably wasn’t going to work out—you’re so the best guy for me right now.”
He frowned. “What does that mean?”
I shook my head.
Jared nudged me with his knee. “Come on. You have to tell me. If only to spare me more desperation and heartache for the future. Help me stop the cycle of friend zone madness.”
I grinned. I supposed I owed him that much. “This is going to sound really bad.”
“You’ve already chipped at least one of my teeth, why stop hurting me now?”
I laughed again. “See? This is why you’re a great guy. Even though I’ve maimed and insulted you, you’re still telling jokes.”
“It’s a nervous response. Believe me, I’m weeping on the inside.” His smile said otherwise, making me feel microscopically better. “Go on,” he urged.
“What I meant was that you’re the obvious choice: smart, funny, sweet and totally sexy as hell.” I fanned myself dramatically, making him chuckle. “But you can’t force chemistry, even if it should make sense.”
“Oh come on, you’re just not trying hard enough,” he said. “I’ll tell you what. We’ll give it another go and if by our fifth wedding anniversary you’re still not feeling it, we’ll just get a divorce, no questions asked. You get the beach house in The Hamptons and I’ll keep the dog and the Manhattan apartment. What do you say?”
His words were light, but there was a thread of hope in them. God, before coming here to Rosewood, I never could have imagined a guy would be into me and I’d turn him down. Any guy. And now, looking at this guy who really was smart, funny and sexy—the whole package, I was doing just that. It was hard to believe.
I shook my head, more at myself than at his words. “I hate The Hamptons; I would have to keep the Manhattan apartment.”
“Done,” he said, his eyes intent on mine, and I had a feeling he would have agreed to anything for another chance. The thought of it almost made me dizzy. Guys never liked me before. Was it really just my commitment to being more outgoing and not being the wallflower that was making them notice me? Was it that I was new to the school? It couldn’t be that the guys had low standards; an inventory of my new friends here at the school was enough to make me realize that couldn’t be true.
But whatever it was, this guy wasn’t for me. “Jared...”
He sighed and grabbed my hand, twining his fingers in mine. “Fine. I get it. No marriage, no beach house, no dog. He would have been an awesome dog, though.”
“I bet,” I said, squeezing his fingers.
“Can we still make out, though?”
I looked up at him, eyebrows raised.
He looked down at me, waiting.
I went up on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Very tempting. But I wouldn’t want to ruin that perfect set of teeth.”
He nodded, resigned to my answer, and the look on his face nearly broke my heart. “I guess it’s for the best. They cost a fortune.”
That seemed to signal the end of our conversation and relationship, so I peeked out from the bushes to make sure no one would notice us emerging from the hedgerow.
“Brooklyn?” he said from behind me, the tone of his voice making me turn around to face him.
“Yeah?”
“Who is it?” he asked, all traces of humor gone from his eyes.
I opened my mouth. Then closed it agai
n.
“Is it Dave? I’ve seen him look at you. Is that why Emmie broke up with him?”
I took a breath, but no words formed.
“You just put me in the friend zone,” he said. “Friends tell other friends the truth. Always.”
I looked up at him again. “Honestly, Jared? The truth is I really have no idea.”
He worked his jaw and then said, “What do you mean?”
“I can’t. I can’t get into this with you,” I said, feeling like the worst person ever. I’d basically just dumped him and now he wanted me to tell him if there was someone else?
“Brooklyn, it’s okay,” he said, tugging on my hand again. “You and me—we’re so last week. Just tell me. I can tell something’s bugging you.”
Ya think? I exhaled. “It’s not why Emmie broke up with him. She...she’d rather have him in the friend zone,” I said, using his words.
“So how do you factor into this?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. When I met him that first day and didn’t know who he was...he was...” I broke off and looked up at Jared. He looked curious but sad at the same time and I knew that even though he’d asked me to tell him, I was hurting him. “I guess there was just chemistry.”
“So are you going to go out with him now?”
The million dollar question.
“I don’t know.”
“But you want to.”
“Jared...it’s so complicated. Emmie...you...”
And then suddenly, I was in his arms, being held, but not in a sexual way. In the friend zone way. “Brooklyn,” he said into my hair. “I like you. I’ve liked you from the first time I met you and Dave told me what a funny and smart girl you were.”
I nearly moaned into Jared’s chest at that. Instead, I forced myself to hold my breath while he continued.
“I get now that he was talking you up because he liked you, but with him and Emmie...” he trailed off as he squeezed me close. I splayed my fingers on his muscular back, wanting to move them and stroke him comfortingly, but afraid if I did, he’d take it the wrong way. “But you don’t like me that way and I have to accept it and I will. But liking you means I want to see you happy and if that’s with Dave, well, you couldn’t find a nicer guy.” He pulled out of the hug and looked down at me. “Other than me, of course.”
I laughed despite the sudden tears that had leaked out of me. He reached out and wiped them away.
“Stop being so nice,” I said. “This would be so much easier if you were a douche.”
He shook his head. “No. Guilt is how I torture the friend zone girls. Expect years of suffering.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. We should get out of the bushes.”
He nodded and stuck his head out. “Coast is clear.”
We walked back to the main doors side by side and suddenly I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. Obviously I had been lying to myself about Jared, and I felt totally guilty for stringing him along, but now that we were going to be just friends (unless he got weird about things) I felt lighter and like I was finally on the right path, even though it was still a complicated one.
Dave was, after all, Emmie’s ex.
“Can you not say anything to Dave?” I blurted.
He looked over at me. “About which part?”
“All of it.”
He nodded, making my heart twist over asking him to do so much. I felt so bad about it all. I was trying not to be all conceited about it, but he’d seemed to really like me and I’d just told him I didn’t like him that way and was now asking him to keep secrets from his roommate. Secrets that included me and his roommate. Ugh. I felt like a horrible person.
“So,” he said, as we approached the front steps to the main Rosewood building.
Okay, maybe he would get a little weird now. I hoped not, though. I really did like him.
“So,” I echoed.
“I guess since you’re no longer my girlfriend,” he winced slightly, but I pretended not to notice. “You’re not obligated to read my manuscript, but...”
“Oh!” I said, slapping my forehead. “I completely forgot. Of course I still want to read it,” I said, happy for a way to give him something back for how amazing he was being over all of this.
He looked at me for a second and then nodded and reached into his messenger bag, pulling out a thick envelope. “I guess it’s better this way.”
I took the heavy package from him. “What do you mean?”
“Well, if we’d broken up after you read it, I’d always wonder if you did it because the book is so horrible.”
I laughed, but noticed the vulnerability in his eyes, so I said, “I’m sure it’s good. They wouldn’t have given you a book deal if it was crap, would they?”
He shrugged. “I’m a celebrity.” Which I guess explained it. “But feel free to be brutal. I haven’t sent it to my agent yet, so there’s still time to fix things. You know, like the ending.”
I cocked my head.
He grinned, “You know, if we wanted to add in a pretty brunette with a slight British accent.”
I blushed, but smacked his arm. “Barf, Jared. You’ve gotta stop that.”
He grinned. “I know. That was the last one, I promise.”
I glanced down. “You think I don’t see your crossed fingers?”
“Crap,” he said and then before I could stop him or even really figure out what was going on, he leaned in and gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you later, Brooklyn. Thanks.”
Not waiting for a reply, he turned and started walking down the driveway and then cut across the campus toward the sports complex. I guessed he was taking the short cut back to Westwood through the infamous break in the fence between campuses.
As I turned to go into the building, I couldn’t help but wonder what he’d been thanking me for.
My Brother, The Side Of Beef
I got to the top of the stairs on the third floor and was going to go straight to the dorm room to continue with more of my homework before movie night so I wouldn’t have to have it hanging over my head for the rest of the weekend. Especially when I had equestrian practice in the morning and that took so much of my focus. As always, I was both dreading and looking forward to seeing Brady, but at least we could be around each other now without it being completely unbearable. Although I was going to have to be more careful around him; if Robert could pick up the tension between us after like two seconds, I was worried the rest of the girls on the team were either going to figure it out, or they knew already and I just hadn’t heard the whispers.
I needed to figure out how to distance myself from him even more. I couldn’t see him much less than I did, and it’s not like we spoke or texted outside of practice (other than that one time we went to see his horse, but there was no way I’d let an outing like that happen again) so I was just going to have to be more conscious about how I looked at him. No more locking eyes during practice and absolutely no more secret looks at his butt in his riding breeches, because even if he wasn’t looking, there was a good chance someone else probably was.
But before that, I needed to get more work done, which would be a good distraction anyway.
Also, I wanted to have a look at Jared’s manuscript. I didn’t have time to read it all now, but of course I was curious, both about his life and his writing skills. Dave had said one of the conditions of Jared signing the book deal was that he was going to write it himself and I had to respect that, but I was a little scared that maybe he wasn’t the best writer and they really did give him the deal because he was a celebrity and they wouldn’t get his story any other way. Of course, I knew him to be a smart guy, but that doesn’t always equal a good writer and the thought of having to critique him if he wasn’t any good was a little bit terrifying. Especially after I pretty much just dumped him. How much could I hurt the guy?
I didn’t remember much about him as a child actor, but I had a feeling this book was going to tell a
lot more than I could find on Google. And, I thought as I pulled the heavy package out from under my arm, if the weight of it was any indication, there was plenty to tell.
But as I was about to take the turn down the hall toward my dorm room, a peal of loud laughter drifted out from the third floor lounge.
Chelly. Which actually worked, since the sound of her laughing reminded me I needed to talk to her anyway. I did an about-face and followed the voices.
“You do not have dibs!” Chelly bellowed as I got almost into the doorway. Oh God, I thought, who now? But I had a sneaking suspicion...
“I never said I did. But he’s her brother. He should be off limits. At least for now,” was the response, from the person I woke up next to every morning.
I groaned and almost turned away, not wanting to hear any more of this potentially catty and surely very awkward conversation about my brother. But then, ”Brooklyn!” Celia said, spotting me trying to sneak down the hall. “Come in here and settle this.”
Oh no. I made my way into the lounge where the three faces stared at me expectantly, their textbooks and notes spread around the table forgotten.
“Not a chance,” I said. “I want no part of whatever this is.”
“But he’s your brother,” Emmie said.
“Exactly. I haven’t been involved in his love life in,” I paused for effect. “Ever.”
“How come you didn’t tell us he was hot?” Chelly demanded.
I looked at her incredulously. “Seriously? Chelly? He’s my brother. How would I know if he’s hot?”
“Seriously?” Emmie asked. “You can’t be objective?” it was the second time she’d asked. You’d think she would have gotten it by now.
“About my brother’s hotness? No I can’t.” I shivered and then looked at Chelly. “Anyway, how would you know he’s hot? You haven’t even met him. Have you?” I looked at her sideways, afraid she’d done something very Chelly-ish.
Reading Between the Lines Page 6