by H L Muller
"What are you doing?" I demand Harrison, as I feel two guards grab a hold of me too. "Let me go!"
"I am going to hold you both until I can ensure that you are not out to destroy this Kingdom."
With rough hands holding my arms, we shuffle down the hallway and into a chamber. The guards let me go, releasing me to fall onto the stone floor. Scrambling to get my feet underneath me and stand up, I hear them slam the door shut.
“NO!” I rush to the door and try to open it, pulling the handle and slamming my palm into the door.
"You can't do this to me! I am not a prisoner!" I scream, "I can't be a prisoner, not again." My voice breaks on a sob, as I push my back against the door and slid to the ground.
I was locked in a room again. I finally had freedom. Four years of glorious freedom and I didn't even know it.
Seventeen
IKA
I am locked in a jail cell. A fucking cell. I had heard stories about how crazy King Harrison was, but I assumed they were overstated by idiots.
When I was twelve, I told myself that I would never come back. After what the King and Queen did to my family, I had sworn I wouldn't come anywhere near their Palace. Now I find myself trapped inside a cell, for escorting the Princess back here?
What did I even say yes for? I scoff at my own thoughts. I can't kid myself. I know I did it because I was struck dumb by Tru – Princess Gertrude. I have never met anyone who equals her fiery personality. I have known she is special from the moment I laid eyes on her, special enough to be a Queen apparently.
I pace my cell while working through my thoughts. This wasn't intentional for her. She didn't even believe she has been missing for four years, so this wasn't a trap for me. I don't think she was even aware of who I am, Tru – Princess Gertrude probably didn't remember me from when we lived here. I can’t stop stumbling over her name. I would not have thought she is a Princess from how she treated me and behaved. Trudy is so kind and caring. She listened to me like she was interested in what I had to say.
I hear doors slam, and sobbing comes from the wall next to me. Had King Harrison thrown Trudy in a cell, too? I lean against the wall connecting me with her cell and slide down to sit on the floor with my back against the wall, listening to her cries.
"I'm here, Darlin'. You aren't alone." That gut feeling, I can’t understand overcomes me again, I need to reassure her. Need her to know that I am here, that she isn’t alone and that I don’t care that she is a Princess.
Eighteen
PRINCESS GERTRUDE
My head snaps up at the sound of his voice.
"Ika?"
"I'm here, Trudy." I crawl towards his voice, needing to be closer to him.
My voice breaks on my sobs, "I-I-I am so sorry, Ika. S-s-sorry I made you walk here. Sorry you got arrested. Sorry I didn't tell you who I am. Th-thi-this is all my fault."
"Uh, yeah. Princess?" he stretches out the word, turning it into a question. "Why didn't you tell me who you are?"
I calm myself, taking deep breaths and really thinking about how I wanted to answer that.
"At first, I didn't want anyone to know who I was. I was enjoying the freedom of just being me for the day, you kn-know?" I hiccup, "Then, you started talking all about the Mystery Princess, and you knew Charming left me for her. I didn't want you to see me as inferior to her, I wanted you to get to know me before you could judge me based on a story. I could be free and alive with you, Ika. I have not felt able to be myself since I was ten years old. I was betrayed and I haven’t allowed myself to be who I am since, I needed to protect myself." I cannot stop talking now it has started spewing out of me. If we are going to be locked up, possibly forever, I want him to know everything. "It was my fault, always my fault. I have ruined lives, ruined villages."
I start sobbing again, knowing that Ika will be disgusted with me now and I hate myself for caring that he would. He will see the selfish Princess bitch that everyone sees. Crying until my sobbing eased and my throat was raw. It feels like hours have passed, but I am all dried out now. Ika has not spoken at all in that time.
"Well? Say something."
"That was a lot of information to take in, Darlin'. I needed time to sort through it all, and I wanted you to have time to process your own feelings. I'm trying to not be offended that you didn't trust me with who you were, and to understand why you felt you needed to keep it to yourself. I have so many questions. What do you mean that everything is your fault? How have you ruined things, with your own hands?"
"Well no, everything happened because of me. Adaira was lost because I went there. I let myself get manipulated by Evalyn. I told her my secrets because I thought she was my friend. I should have known better, she turned on me and reported everything back to my Mother. She sabotaged everything to get to me. My fault."
"And how is that your fault, Darlin'? This sounds like other people’s actions that you are taking the blame for. You did not make them act this way, you did not force King Kryler to burn Adaira, that was his decision. And Evalyn, whoever the fuck that is, made the choice to betray you. The outcome is hers to own, not yours."
I stand and start pacing, needing to move around, "You don't get it. A boy and his father lost their job, their livelihood, everything, because of me. I told Evalyn I liked the grounds' boy when I was ten years old. That same day my mother had them escorted from the grounds, so I wouldn't get distracted from my goal: to marry Charming. Look how well that turned out for me, he didn't marry me! I don't know what happened to the boy and his family. I never even knew his name, and I ruined their lives."
Ika doesn’t respond and I remain silent, giving him the time to think. I continue pacing and look around my cell now that I have calmed down. It holds nothing to pull my attention. It is composed of four grey stone walls, a small window set high in the wall. Nothing is in the room except a bucket and a pile of straw in a corner which I think is meant to be a bed. There are small holes in the wall between my cell and Ika's.
"Y-you do know what happened to the boy, Darlin'." He finally chokes out, drawing me back to the wall.
"No, I don't. I just told you that."
"I-I'm that boy, Trudy. I worked here with my father, Oscar, until I was 12 years old, when we were forced to leave. Are you saying that we had to leave because you told this Evalyn, what, that you liked me?"
Ika. Ika is the green-eyed boy. I pull up the memory of the green-eyed boy and put his face next to Ika's in my mind.
"Oh Shit!" I stumble and fell to the floor. Ika is the green-eyed boy. I can see the same eyes, same smile. "Oh, Ika. Oh my. Holy fucking balls."
He breaks out in laughter, guffawing unlike I have ever heard from him.
"Oh Trudy, Darlin'. There is never a dull moment with you is there? 'Holy fucking balls,'" he mimics, still laughing as he continues, "Clearly, I am fine, Darlin'. I never even thought you were the reason behind why we left. I had always blamed your folks. Darlin', to be honest with you, it was a blessing in disguise. Because we left the Palace, my folks got to spend more time together before they passed. My mum and dad both got to pass happy, and knowing that we had those good, happy years together. If we hadn't left, I never would have had the time to find carving and experience that joy in my life."
"Y-you don't hate me?" I ask him tentatively, mulling over his words.
"Nah, Darlin'. I don't know why, the last few years I have hated the idea of even coming back to the heart of the Kingdom. But, as I told you at our camp, there is something about you that speaks to me; calls me to be here with you, to trust and help you." Shaking my head, I turn to lean my back against the wall between us as he continues, "I can't believe you are that little girl. You used to wear your hair in these little plaits and had picnics with that governess woman before going off to see your horse. Of course," I hear a slapping noise, "that's Stormy, isn't it?"
"Did you just hit something?"
"Uh, yeah. I hit myself in the face..." shame coating his voice as it trai
ls off.
"Why?"
"Seriously, Trudy? Cause I'm an idiot! I should have used my brain and realised all this information sooner. Put two and two together and realise that you had been missing for the same amount as time as the Princess, because you are the missing Princess."
"How can you say you are an idiot; I didn't realise either. Are you calling me stupid now too?"
"Well, no. I wouldn't insult you like that. You're a Princess for peat's sake, why would I insult you?"
"NO!" I scream, "No, no, no! To you I am not a Princess, Ika. I never wanted you to see me as a Princess - that's the reason I kept that information from you. Why would I want you to treat me differently? All my life, everyone has treated me like I am either a nuisance, an arrangement for them, or like I am superior to them because of my fickle bloodline. I don't want it! Can't you see I just want to be normal? Being with you was the first time in my life that I have ever gotten to be normal. Please don't see me as a Princess now." I plead with him.
"Okay, Trudy. Okay."
“Okay?”
“Yeah, Darlin’. Okay.”
“I’m sorry I yelled,” I say with a sigh, “Thank you.”
"So, Darlin', what are we going to do?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean are we going to sit here and wait for that idiot brother of yours to come to his senses, or are we going to escape?"
"Escape? Why? What would we do? Run into Charming's Kingdom?” I laugh, “Spend the rest of our lives on the run, being hunted by my brother? You don't deserve to be lumped in with me, and where would I even live? The only home I have ever known is this Palace. The only people I have ever known live here too. I don't have any practical skills, I cannot go and get a job as a handmaid or ladies’ maid, I don't know how to do anything. What do you suggest I do, if not sit here and wait?"
"Well, Darlin'. We could spend our lives together. You could come and live with me in the woods, for one."
I gasp, choking on my breath, I utter, "L-l-live with you? Why would you want that?"
"To be honest with you, on our journey here the thought of leaving you and being without you tore at me. I cannot put into words what I am feeling for you right now, but I would like the change to figure it out. I can also think of several reasons I would want you around, Darlin'. Don’t worry, I can teach you everything you need to know." I can hear the play on his words, hinting to what exactly he wants to teach me.
"How would you propose we get out of here, Ika? We are locked in a cell!"
Nineteen
KING HARRISON
Why would he send her back? She is what most men would want; beautiful, wealthy, with a powerful family; and he sent her away? Then again, Charming has always been an idiot. He married a peasant over Gertrude, for fucks sake. Father was always so adamant that she was stolen, taken and abused. Yet here she appears, four years later, not looking a day older than the last time I saw her.
The first time I met up with Ambrose after Gertrude went missing, he tried convincing me that his family hadn't taken her. I had questioned him and didn’t trust his word. I haven't spoken to him since, although that also has something to do with Evalyn and her manipulative ways.
Could this Ika fellow be right? Could Gertrude have simply been lost in the woods for four years, until she found him? If that is to be believed, she is lucky to find such a man kind enough to bring her home.
Since the guards locked them up two hours ago, I have been pacing my Throne Room trying to figure out what to do with the situation. The guards were under orders to not be gossiping idiots, so I knew no one else in the court or Kingdom knew of her return. Now that she is back, what does it mean? There is no way I can issue an apology to King Charming and Queen Cinderella. We have not spoken since the fire of Adaira. It has been hard not being able to reach out, Ambrose and Charming were my closest friends. While we are at odds with their Kingdom, reconnecting with Ambrose is both my deepest desire and what scares me the most. I don’t know how to resolve things with Ambrose, we had argued over Gertrude’s disappearance, but I would be kidding myself if I said there weren’t other differences that would need to be sorted out before we could even discuss moving forward.
Evalyn has the ability to always appear at the worst possible moment. Cutting off my stride mid-pace, she begins speaking in a sultry tone. "My King, what troubles you so? Is there anything I can do to help you?"
"Not today, Evalyn. There is nothing for which I require your assistance." Dismissing her, I turn and continued pacing.
Evalyn has been trying to get me into her bed for the last three years. She is fifteen years older than me and has known me since she began to care for Gertrude, when I was ten. After Gertrude went missing, I asked Ambrose to meet me in our Garden so I could discuss Father’s accusations with him, Evalyn interrupted a heated argument we were having and found out more information than she had a right too. Ever since, she has held it over my head to manipulate me. At her demand, I have let her stay on in the Castle as an attempt to appease her, but her contentment is starting to wane. I would need to start thinking of other ways I could handle her, and soon.
"Actually Evalyn, I have a question for you."
"You can ask me anything, Your Majesty."
"Why did Gertrude hate you?" I had a good idea after Evalyn's behaviour toward me over the last few years, but I want to be sure.
“Where has this come from, Your Majesty?”
“Call it curiosity. You never speak of her, you cared for her for eleven years before her disappearance. Many would assume you as friends after so long caring for her. So please tell me, why did she hate you?”
"I do not know what you mean, My King.” Her shrill voice echoes around the room, “We were close friends."
"When she was younger, that may have been so. However, she was increasingly cold towards you, and everyone really, before she went missing. Do you think she might have run away? Father always dismissed the idea, he was so hell-bent on the idea that Charming had stolen her, but something is churning my gut. I feel like I am missing something."
I watch as Evalyn's face slowly twisted from her real smile, to her fake smile. I have grown familiar with the difference.
"I don't know what you mean, Your Majesty. That's just who she was, an ungrateful bitch of a girl. Cold to everyone, even you if I remember correctly. She had the world at her fingertips, and yet she wanted a dirty farm-boy. Her head was always in the clouds believing in fairy tales and her stories. I just brought her back to reality."
Evalyn's eyes widen, and I can tell she didn't mean to give that much away.
"Well, well, Evalyn. Looks like I am not the first person you have manipulated. You should leave me now. I have other matters I must attend to."
Sitting on my Throne, I watch her saunter her way out of the room. I'm sure she thought it was sexy and would grasp my attention. Out of everyone, she should know better after what she heard and witnessed.
I think back to who Gertrude was when we were children, how she was so carefree and happy. Something must have happened to turn her into someone who was so cold, and different. Maybe Ika was right, maybe Gertrude was never stollen, instead she was a woman who wanted to escape and got lost on the way.
Twenty
IKA
"We should rest for now and see what happens with King Idiot, alright Darlin'? We had a few big days walking here, and we could use some time to gather our strength, before we try doing anything too daring."
"Okay, Ika. I haven't done anything like this before. Last time I left, I just walked straight out the doors before anyone was awake, I didn't have to put much effort into it." Her voice is strained after the emotion and physical exertion the last few days.
"I think I’ll just have a quick nap, okay?"
"Okay Darlin'. I'll be right here," I joke with small chuckle.
"Ugh!" she groans, and I can picture her rolling her eyes at me.
Falling silent to let her sle
ep, I sit thinking about Trudy, her reactions to me, to the word Princess, and the possibility of staying here are revealing. Turning over the last few hours of conversation in my mind, I remember her first words after she was deposited in the cell.
'I can't be a prisoner, not again.' At first, I had thought she meant her time in the Silent Wood. After our conversation, I am beginning to think it is actually about her time in the Palace.
This woman has had me tied up in knots from the moment I met her on my doorstep. Was that really only yesterday? That couldn't be right. I feel as though I have known Trudy forever. So long that my heart reaches out to her and wants to comfort her when she is in pain. I had seen her around the gardens when we were children, and she was such a sprightly little thing, always wearing a smile so wide, it brightened my entire day even from a distance. Just like it has for the last day, getting to be close to her and get to know her; it has been the best day of my life. Even ending up here in a cell.
I need to get her out of here and keep her safe with me. I know now, she belongs with me. Maybe Ma or Pa are looking down on us and decided to send her into my path for help, to heal me and herself. I know that it will take time for us both to reconcile ourselves with our pasts, yet I know it would be worth it. I can see now what has been speaking to me this whole time, what is calling me to be here with Trudy; it is my soul reaching out for its mate.
Footsteps walking down the hallway jolts me out of my thoughts. The mechanical sounds of Trudy's door being unlocked echo off the stone walls, and I hear someone enter her cell. They gasp and place something on the ground, soft tentative footsteps edging into the room. Trudy hadn’t stirred and I am grateful, she needs the rest.
"Please don't wake her," I speak softly to the new arrival, "She has had a long couple of days and needs the break."
The shuffling footsteps retreat into the hall, locking Trudy's door and move to mine. I hold my breath as the door to my cell is opens, and a small petite woman walks inside. From her outfit I can tell that she is a servant here at the Palace. She has olive skin, and black hair as dark as night, I cannot make out more of her features due to the lack of lighting in the cell.