“I know – but Honey quit.”
“She could be a cop!” I grew angrier the more I thought about it. Spencer could never think with the head on his shoulders when it came to women. It was both irritating and disgusting. “What am I paying you for? You don’t hire anyone until I’ve had them checked out. If you ever do this again that fat paycheck you get every month will be history.”
“Relax. Hell, she’ll probably quit by the end of the week.” Spencer sat grinning and holding up a jeweled wrist, ashes bending and threatening to fall off the stub he held. His cocky attitude was getting harder for me to ignore.
The first chorus had ended and the new dancer had still not taken the stage. I waited and watched, needing to see the latest temptress. I didn’t like change. I was naturally suspicious of new faces. I had to know who and what was walking through my door – always.
She finally emerged from the wings, awkward and uncomfortable swaying her hips, wearing a dress far too conservative for the job.
“Tonight is her last night, right?”
“Yeah, whatever.” Spencer snorted and brushed his fallen ashes from his outlandish attire. “I got to run the bar.” He muttered and pushed away from the table. “That minx has a smart mouth anyway,”
I growled. The man was not worth the aggravation he caused and I pondered his importance and again turned my judgment to the dark haired woman on stage, listening to the words of the song as she danced.
Instantly, I knew she wasn’t experienced. She circled the brass pole with innocence lacing her movements and her eyes to the floor for far too long before her slow swing stopped. Gawkily she paused, then stepped away and crossed the stage, her hands toying with the long strands that hid her delicate face, teasing the onlookers.
I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. Maybe it was the hypnotizing lyrics of the love song. Maybe I was hungry for something I had not tasted in ages. I stood and strode out of the shadows, unable to peel my eyes away.
She undid the first button awkwardly. Then the second. The third. Fourth, but she didn’t let the garment fall. Some of the ruder customers began to yell out their complaints. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, then stood frozen and wide eyed. It was then I saw her face.
“This was the job?” I whispered, baffled by the coincidence.
The woman I’d run into at the diner trembled. Not because she was cold. Her eyes were wet from the tears she held in and she drew in heavy breaths before finally making a hasty retreat from booing, thwarted clientele.
My own eyes betrayed me, bonding with her as she moved about. She was different than the dancers that usually graced the stage. This wasn’t a woman who had ever removed her clothes for money and I wanted to know what had happened in her life to motivate her to such desperation. At the same time, my instincts wouldn’t allow me to trust my first estimations, even when I desired to.
The diner, Marcy’s warning and now the club? I should have had every reason to be suspicious. If only my qualms were not interrupted by the memory of her fretful dance. I assumed an undercover cop would be more convincing, blending in with the veteran personnel.
“I haven’t seen that look in a long time,” My lawyer kidded the moment he approached my table. “You like this one.”
“Maybe.” I cleared my throat. “I don’t normally see you twice in one day, Eric.”
“That cop is dead.”
“The one that testified against me?”
“They found him on his couch, with a porno flick looping on his television – in a very compromising position.” Eric raised an eyebrow. “There was a vinyl doll in his lap?”
“That is funny.” I chuckled. I felt no sympathy for the man who embellished his testimony, hoping to persuade the judge to provoke my bail.
“You’re boy’s work is getting noticed. Tell him to cool it. It would be disastrous for him if his crimes were connected,” Eric warned.
“Will do.”
“I have a big trial this week. Can you please try to stay out of trouble?” He let out an irritated, stressed breath. “Why don’t you ask that woman out? Hell, maybe she could keep you entertained so I can get some work done.”
“You are working, Eric.”
“Just think about it, Sean.”
It was just like Eric to make me think about things I couldn’t have, but my longtime friend had no idea he was being cruel.
“Eric.” He paused mid-rise. “I want to know exactly what she is.”
“I’ll uproot every weed in her garden,” Eric promised.
~ ♥ ~
The new dancer performed for the third time and she’d still hadn’t disrobed. Customers complained about her dancing and her serving. She mixed up orders and could barely balance a tray, but I couldn’t stop watching her. Her clumsy waitressing skills made me chuckle.
“Get out of here!” Spencer’s hateful shout carried over the crowd, sending the mistress of my recent dreams fleeing.
I cracked my neck. I had to remove Spencer from my line of vision before my itchy hand pulled my pistol. If it wasn’t for the importance Spencer’s position still maintained – and the crowd in the room that would be hard to discredit –
“Damn blundering bitch,” The perverted man muttered and continued wiping the counter without a clue that he had walked on the edge of death.
I didn’t know what came over me or why Spencer’s aggression toward the new employee provoked my rage. I didn’t want the woman to come back. I didn’t need the distraction. Those rude comments shouldn’t have rubbed me the wrong way. What the hell? I had to get out of there.
I lit a cigarette as soon as I stepped outside the club. Chain smoking had become yet another bad habit, killing me slowly, a thought that made me suck the vapors deeper into my lungs. Screw the pills that would heal it – I deserved to suffer.
A few yards away a woman sat on a bench waiting for the bus, long ebony hair blowing all around her. I halted my trip to the back parking lot and sighed.
I approached her slowly. “Hello again.”
She flinched and jolted her head away, hiding behind sleek hair. I reached into my pocket and handed her a handkerchief, feeling horrible for startling her.
“Thanks,” she let out in a barely audible whisper and dabbed her eyes, sniffing back her sobs. She refused to gaze my way until she had stopped shedding tears, but the out of breath gasps she drew was harder for her to control.
“You again?” She stated flatly.
A light breeze blew over us. I witnessed her body shiver, her arms broken out in tiny bumps.
“It would be a nice night if it wasn’t for the wind.”
“It’s always night here.” She reminded me. “And it’s always chilly – I should have moved to Coeur de ‘Lile.”
She forced a grateful smile when I draped my jacket around her shoulders and sat down beside her. I clasped my hands in front of me and brought them to my lips. Deep down I wanted to see her again. I wanted to ask her out, but I was torn between so many confusing thoughts.
‘You don’t know her – There’s too much going on right now – You’re betraying Sara’s heart.’
“Are you waiting for someone?” I knew the answer, but I just couldn’t make myself spew hurtful words to the already defeated stripper.
“No, my car won’t start,” Her voice was slightly hostile despite her sorrow.
“You looked great up there tonight,” I stalled.
“No, I didn’t,” she contradicted. “I think I’m going to get fired.”
“Come on.” I nudged her arm gently with my own. “Let me take you home.”
“I’m okay.” She gasped again. “The bus will be here soon.”
“You really are new around here.” I chuckled. “These nighttime bus drivers never arrive on time – if they decide to stop at all.” She looked up with a questioning stare. “Come on. You’ll freeze out here.”
She wiped away one last tear and narrowed her eyes, searching mine as if
she thought I was just another drunk patron attempting to persuade her into a temporary romantic situation.
“Get lost.” She slipped from the bench and took confident steps toward the alleyway, the very attitude that had begun my obsession in the first place. I tried to subdue my grin.
“Don’t follow her,” I whispered over and over to the wind. “Don’t – Ah – shit!” I found myself taking quick, long strides to catch up.
“I don’t need your help,” she spat.
“I heard you. I’m just … heading to my car.” I scanned her up and down, causing her to cut her eyes and quickened her pace. “And you still have my jacket,” I called out after allowing myself a moment to watch her hips rock from side to side.
My jacket slid from her shoulders as she turned on her heel, stormed my way and thrust it into my chest.
“Leave me alone or I’m going to call the bouncer.” She shifted her eyes toward the back door and the brawny man who stood beside it.
I glanced at Matt Divani puffing on his cigarette. I chuckled. She obviously had no idea her threat was made in vain. I could snatch her away if I wished and the bouncer wouldn’t take a step to defend her.
I lived a life where I took what I wanted. It was who my father was. It was expected of me. For a moment, I stared at the black smudges beneath her eyes and wondered if I could steal an intimate moment. I couldn’t possess her. I knew that, but I just wanted to touch her silky, olive skin and run my fingers through her wavy hair. I wanted to wipe the lipstick from her soft pouty lips and press mine against them – just once … I must have leaned forward unknowingly, for her hand reached back intending to cause pain.
In reflex, I grasped her wrist, pulled her close and touched her cheek. “Why do you want to work at a place like this?” A hushed breath that should have been contained floated out.
She answered by jerking her hand from my possession. “Well, I’m not doing it so some intoxicated idiot can pick me up.” She spun and stomped toward the rusted car she drove.
“Ouch.” I felt the sting of the hatred in her eyes.
Only two cars away, my own sat silent, waiting for me to awake it, but my attention was on the yellowish pile of metal that spit and sputtered, its occupant rattled by each failed turn of the key. Her gaze closely monitored my position, until finally she gave up and shoved the door open.
The demon inside of me caressed my ear in the voice of my father, tempting with a transgression that would bring pleasure. Worse things I was guilty of, but each victim had been culpable of their own dishonesty, a fact that I often used to console my conscience. I wouldn’t have that luxury if I gave in to this request.
Still, I left the keys in the door and ventured her way. A plan already forming in my mind. “Is this your car?”
She shot an irritated glare in response to another question that had an obvious answer. “And I thought you would drive something fancier.” She nodded toward the old relic I had been standing beside, dented with spots of primer on the door and rear panel.
“Oh, come on. Don’t be mean to the car. That’s my baby.” The influences of my life slipped away with every word she spoke and I couldn’t imagine taking her out of the world, an event that would be unavoidable if I chose to force my way. “Pop the hood.”
“Look, I appreciate you trying to help me and all, but I can manage.”
“Looks like you’re planning to walk.” I nodded at the backpack she returned to her shoulder. “I know this neighborhood and I would be a sorry man if I let you walk by yourself.”
She took a step back for every step I took. She dipped her hand into her purse and I assumed she was armed with pepper spray, something I was immune to. Oh, this woman was a fireball. I chuckled, reached inside her open door and found the lever that released the hood.
After a few moments, I found the culprit. A loose spark plug wire, barely connected to the distributor cap, corroded with age. I pulled my pocket knife and flipped out the blade, used it to brush away the matter that hindered the vehicle and then replaced the wire.
“Try it.”
She climbed inside and did as I asked. The engine obeyed immediately, emitting an ear-piercing squeal. She smiled her surprise.
I let the hood fall with a loud metal on metal clang, slapped my hands together to dust them off, then went to her door and bent down. “You’re all set.”
“Thanks,” honest gratitude replaced her vile tone.
My thoughts pained me because it had been so long since I had felt warmth in my heart. But, that heat had triggered an impulse that wanted to cause harm. She was an innocent woman who had done nothing to induce my appetite and I was positive that I couldn’t trust myself around her.
“It’s really hard to keep these old things on the road.” I chortled nervously.
She had no response.
“That thing takes up all my free time.” I pointed at my machine with pride. “But I love it.”
“Lucky you,” she was snarling again. “I hate this pile of junk.”
“I’m sorry.” I blurted out an apology, ready to end the conversation before my true nature was overcome by the persona my life demanded. “I don’t normally – I don’t flirt – ever.” I stumbled over my words and laughed at myself. “I came on too strong.”
“It wasn’t that bad.” Was she flirting with me now? I shook away the idea, knowing the tides couldn’t possibly reverse so quickly. “I just wanted to be alone after the night I had.”
“You really don’t belong in a place like this.”
“Wait, let me guess? You’re one of those guys that want to take me away from here – give me nice things – and I’ll never have to work again.” She laughed at the idea. “No, I’m not that type of girl.”
“I wasn’t suggesting – I could help you get another job. Put in a good word or something.”
“Thanks, but I think I can get the hang of this.” She put the car in gear and I stood back.
“Can I at least have your name this time?”
She smiled as if she remembered she had purposely left me without a name the last time we spoke. The corner of her lips curled slightly on one side before she ran her tongue to wet them, having no idea that she pacified me. “Well, I guess if you want to know bad enough – you’ll figure it out.”
I had the urge to steal her from that parking lot once again. I stared too long. Scanning the area for possible witnesses. Itching to cool the fire she’d awoken – I couldn’t do it. I wanted more than one night.
“See you tomorrow night, then – Sweetheart.” I shoved hands in my pocket and began to stroll away, hanging on to the small chance that I could break away from my life and give her the relationship a woman needed. Without lies and hidden activities, things that did not belong between two people.
“Wow, you do spend a lot of time here.”
I tossed a sheepish grin over my shoulder. “Well, I kinda own the place.”
I had expected to see the shock in her expression, but my slip of the tongue had me puzzled. Telling her things my family had kept hidden for decades? What the hell was I doing?
FOURTEEN
(Jessie)
SLOWLY, I MADE MY WAY. The bad news I’d received minutes before sat as a lump in my throat, itching and burning for me to let the tears I held back fall.
I was alone with the head-spinning chaos of my thoughts. There were so many reasons for me to hate the Gianetti’s and Chris Jenkins’ death was the last strike. He may not have been one of my closest friends recently, but he was part of my history. I kept my head down, paying close attention to every crack in the sidewalk and didn’t care that a car had slowed its pace and was now riding beside me.
“Hey, Beautiful,” The male’s voice shot out sweetly.
I kept walking. Part of me wished I would be snatched from the street, thinking maybe someone would finally give a damn about me. The breakup was still fresh in my mind. Especially, in a moment when I really needed to fall into a warm emb
race. No matter how bad things had been since Josh’s return, I still missed the man he used to be.
I felt so alone. Like everyone in the world had abandoned me – either by death or by their own actions. The new people in my life – Tina, Devo – Grato and Matt. Hell, they weren’t real and I didn’t want to let myself get lost in the illusion knowing someday they too would be gone. I was used to it. Every single friend I ever made was right there, by my side until I was no longer part of their everyday life. They never kept in touch after that.
When the car stopped and the passenger jumped out, I thought I might get my wish. The man grabbed my arm softly. I stopped but didn’t look at him or make an attempt to get away.
“How long are you going to be mad at me?” He tilted my chin, making me acknowledge his presence. Josh’s demeanor was softer than it had been last I’d seen him.
“You really think there is an expiration date on my anger?”
He pulled me into his arms. Part of me wanted to shove him away, but the moment I’d met him was still on my mind. I’d been thinking about it all morning.
“Whoa!” The man I ran into must have been in a bigger rush than me. We crashed into each other, both rounding the corner at the same time.
I lived at Mashua Haven, a rehabilitation center and had just started career training. The long classes were exhausting. I forgot to set my alarm clock, waking up in barely enough time to dress and run all the way to the campus. I would have made it to class if I hadn’t been knocked on my ass by a massive wall of muscle.
“Well, hello there.” He grinned, showing cute dimples and offered a hand to help me up. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” The bell rang. “Ugh!”
He stared at me with a look of amazement. I glanced at him and he flashed a dazzling set of perfect teeth.
“Are you okay?” I asked, bending to gather my books.
He squatted to help and held the book he gave to me tightly, making me gaze into his dazzling brown eyes. “Oh, I think I’ll live.” He managed to get out. “Hey, aren’t you related to Agent Cicconi?”
Son of a Mobster (Criminal Desires) Page 10