Another song began and I slowed my pace to match the tempo. My heart beat so rapidly that I was scared I may not be able to slow it. Gently, I traced the fingers of one hand up the adjacent arm, until I reached its fingertips. I laid my head against them before stretching them far out and raising them slowly above my head as I turned, the dress I had begun to unfasten fell, but I did not notice or care. I was lost in my own thoughts.
I was getting to know myself and I was content while I watched a fantasy more romantic than anything in my reality. I felt the stress melt away. I embraced a peaceful serenity, dancing with an invisible partner that had no face. But the touch – I knew it and I knew that I imagined the man I would one day find my happiness with. One day it would all be okay – and then, the shadow became a picture. The darkness lifted. First his eyes – then – it was Sean.
My eyes popped open and fell on the man I fantasized about – and the woman sitting on his lap.
~ ♥ ~
I headed for the rendezvous with Marcy the next day with the uncontrollable anxieties. She’d shown up at the club again. And again she was hanging all over Sean. It ticked me off beyond all comprehension.
I stood across the street from the consignment shop Jackson had directed me to. It was safe to say that Marcy was not Sean’s only informant so, I waited and watched until I saw Marcy walk around the corner. I crossed the street only when I was sure the woman had arrived alone. It was time to get all out in the open. I was sick of worrying.
“Marcy!” I grabbed the door the redhead had just opened and held it tight. The fact that Marcy was much taller, especially in the ridiculous heels she wore, didn’t intimidate me. I was sick of suppressing and the woman was about to lose at her own game. “I’ve seen you hanging around with Gianetti.”
“What’s your point, short stack?” Marcy ground her teeth, staring intently.
“I want to know right now, do I have to watch my back around you? Is Gianetti your lover? Are you tipping him off? Am I going to turn around in this store and get a knife in my back?”
“My feelings for him are just as cold as his are for the rest of the world,” Marcy growled, hatred in her eyes.
But I thought it was nothing but a terrific performance by a very capable actress. “You really expect me to believe that?”
Marcy narrowed her eyes and then jerked the door, pulling it from my grasp. “Get inside.” She shoved me, demonstrating her strength. She grasped my arm, pulled me past long rows of bins and racks until we were hidden between two lines of tightly hung garments. “You really want to know why you can trust me?”
She jerked up her shirt to expose an ugly, half-moon scar that appeared to have been executed by an unprofessional hand. “This is what happens when you don’t follow the Gianetti rules. This is what happens when you don’t do as they want. Yes, I was pregnant, Jessie. I was pregnant with Sean’s kid and he did nothing, nothing at all when his father had his goon drag me to the basement so their hired butcher of a doctor could rip my baby out of my womb. Is that enough to satisfy you?”
“And yet you don’t mind hanging all over him.” As gruesome as her story was, it didn’t satisfy my suspicions.
“Whatever.” Marcy began to jerk the clothes one by one to the side, but I continued to glare, demanding an explanation. “Sometimes it’s hard to forget about the guy Sean used to be, alright? Before Sara – before her murder – he was a great guy but, that guy perished right along with her.” Marcy weakly smiled. “He was amazing.” A tear escaped and she skillfully wiped it away before it could damage her heavy mascara. “He knows I love my career and that I would never – ever give him information that could get someone killed, but at the same time, despite how much he has hurt me, I don’t want him to end up brought down by one of our guns.”
“You see statements like that right there, Marcy.”
“Oh, shit!” Marcy squatted and pulled me down with her, then nodded at the door.
I peeked through the racks. “What the hell is he doing here?”
“I don’t know, but he can’t see us together.” Marcy snuck off and locked herself in the only dressing room and I suddenly felt trapped, unable to bolt from the room or hide. I was cornered and felt as though I had been set up the moment I saw Matt and Grato take a stance on either side of the door.
I watched Sean over the clothes rack as he walked up to the elderly woman at the register and said something to her quietly.
The woman addressed him with an expression of fury and then Sean said something to that made her laugh. I relaxed, obviously, he hadn’t come for me.
I tried to be invisible, turned my back and pretended to inspect a pair of jeans on the adjacent rack.
I dared another glance just in time to see him slide a neat roll of cash across the counter to the sales clerk. She took it from him and slid it into her pocket.
I moved to another rack and pretended to search through the dresses. I took one out that I actually found pretty.
“It doesn’t do you justice.” I hadn’t expected him to approach, sure he would keep his distance like he always did. I became nervous, believing I had let my guard down too quickly.
“Thank you,” I spat and went back to browsing, ignoring him. I didn’t want to give him any reason to think I returned his fondness.
“Well, it’s easy to compliment when it’s the truth.” He remained beside me, awkwardly shifting through the line of dresses. “This is much better.” He presented me with a silky red evening gown. He held it against me.
I had to admit, it was a beautiful dress, slinky, floor-length and backless. I looked at the price tag and pretended to be shocked by the price.
“Nope.” I took it and put it back.
“Oh.” He placed his hands in his pocket. “I guess you hate it because you can’t stand me, right?”
“I don’t know you well enough to dislike you, Sean,” I stated. “I just can’t afford it.”
“You can’t afford a dress? In this place?” He scrutinized. “It was only ten dollars, Jessie.”
“Well, I’m afraid I don’t make the kind of money the other girls do and I give most of my money to my landlord.” I kept searching, not really paying attention to anything.
“So, why are in here shopping for clothes if you’re broke?”
He was quick, I thought and chose my next words carefully.
“Is it a crime to browse now?”
“I guess not.”
I moved from rack to rack, hoping he would get the point and leave me alone, instead he stayed by my side.
“Let me buy it for you.”
“No thanks.”
“Okay, how about a raise?”
“I don’t want your charity, Sean. I can manage just fine on my own.” He smiled at my stubbornness.
“I have to go.” I slipped past him and made my exit. It was obvious he wasn’t going to leave and there was no way I could exchange information with Marcy. I glanced back briefly just to check his position. He was talking to the clerk again.
Good. Maybe he’d get over his crush. I didn’t want to hurt the guy. It was so hard to remember that he was a dangerous criminal when I was around him and I found myself questioning every report I had ever read.
“Wait!”
Ugh! So much for that thought.
I walked faster down the sidewalk, but I had wasted my energy. His longer legs caught up with little effort.
He presented me with a bag. “I already bought it. You might as well take it.” I snatched it from him and turned my head to the side, angry at him for reasons I couldn’t process.
“Sean, why do you do this?” I snapped.
“I don’t know.” He stuck his hands in his pocket and grinned sheepishly. “I like to buy things for people I like and I really like you.”
“No,” I snapped. “You haven’t said two words to me and now – I don’t want to know you like that. You have a reputation. I honestly don’t know what’s true and what’s fi
ction – I’m not willing to take a chance on you and end up in the middle of all of it. I’m sorry.” I tried to hand back the bag but he refused to reach for it.
“Keep it.” He seemed honestly hurt. “It will be easier for your routine.” He referenced my recent wardrobe malfunction.
“Do you ever give up?”
“I really tried. I did, but when I want something Jessie – I do whatever it takes to get it.” His steel blue eyes sparkled. “I noticed you didn’t mention you fiancé in that statement.”
“Fine – okay you caught me – I might be heading for a break up soon – but you’re not going to be the next man in my life.”
“I can change your mind about that.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “Fine. Change my mind, Sean. Convince me that you’re not the man people say you are.”
TWENTY-THREE
(Sean)
STARING INTO HER EYES, I was tempted to blurt out my innermost secrets, but with great difficulty, I kept the revelations that sat on the tip of my tongue at bay.
“Jessie,” I took a deep breath and stared at the heavens, silently pleading for my late wife’s forgiveness. I knew I had fallen in love with Jessie, despite our short acquaintance. “Can we go somewhere – so I can explain?”
“I’m not going anywhere with you. Whatever it is you can say it right here.”
“Damn woman, I love how feisty you are,” I teased and moved closer. “Maybe I’ll just kidnap you … take you home and really show you what you could have with me …” I had tried to keep my distance, but I was drawn to her. The woman had my heart and I knew there was nothing I could do but figure out how to keep her safe.
“You’re threatening to kidnap me?” She giggled. “That’s supposed to convince me?”
“I could if I wanted to.”
“Yeah, I guess that says it all.”
“I’m not a bad guy, Jessie,” I informed her. “But I’m not a good guy either.” I moved closer. Making her gaze up at me. “Today? Let’s just say the good guy won.”
“Hmmm.” She hummed. “I think everyone underestimates you.”
“Trust me, no one ever does that.”
She cupped my face in her hands and gazed intently. “I don’t think I have anything to worry about.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“Because I know there’s more good in you than bad.”
“Is that a yes to that date?”
She rolled her lips in and shook her head. “No.”
“You’re not going to give me a reason?” He laughed.
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to tell you the truth and I’m a terrible liar.”
“Then I guess we’re going to have to have a serious discussion.” I took another step. “Until we both have exposed all of our secrets.”
“Bubba!”
I thought I had imagined the nickname, but as I looked over my shoulder I knew it was true. I gazed fondly at my little sister.
“Hey you,” I affectionately greeted and embraced her, delighted that she had returned and had seemingly forgiven me. “Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” Naturally, there would be no long discussion or dragged out apologies. Life would go on as if it had never happened.
“Winter Break,” she said with a tone that made it sound like it was an obvious reason and I should have known. “Christmas is only a month away.”
“Winter break doesn’t begin until next week,” I jokingly reprimanded while reminding her that I still kept abreast of her activities.
“Okay, so I took a few extra days.” With fluttering eyelashes, she again got whatever she wanted where I was concerned.
“Hmm,” I hummed and cocked my eyebrow. “Does your mom know you’re staying with me instead of at her house?”
“Mom’s too busy with her new boyfriend to notice,” she sighed.
“New boyfriend?” I had not known that Ava had divorced.
“Soon to be hubby number five,” she brought me up to date and then stared inquisitively over my shoulder.
“Oh – um.” I cleared my throat. “Jessie, this is my little sister, Mickie.”
“She doesn’t look that little to me.” Jessie smiled.
“So, are you two …” Mickie asked with a brow lifted in confusion.
“Oh, Jessie just works at the club,” I quickly explained and then swallowed a hard lump the moment I realized I had offended the subject of my idolization.
“Goodbye, Sean.” And Jessie was walking away before I could object and it took a great effort to keep me from running after her.
However, I was thankful for the moment that had brought me to my senses because I had been ready to confess my life story to a woman who didn’t deserve the burden.
Mickie retrieved her things from her friend’s car and waved her off.
I took my sister’s suitcase from her hand and headed for my waiting entourage.
Matt opened the back hatch of the black Hummer. “It’s good to see you, Mickie.”
I watched him with searing venom, but it was my little sister who embraced the man who gazed at her with depressed, downcast eyes.
A natural interaction, I decided, since the brothers’ were frequent house guests and we both considered them part of the family.
“Yes, welcome home, little Mickey.”
Immediately, I regretted heading to the back seat. As I had placed one foot inside the vehicle, Carl Bolivar appeared, jabbing a pistol into Mickie’s back while she embraced her friend. Her eyes grew wide and gazed at the brother who had always protected her. I was so close, yet too far to act.
“I already made a deal with your father, Carl.” I snarled.
Carl sneered. “I guess this is when I should explain the rules to you, I.”
“What rules?” I could think of nothing else he could want.
“What’s he talking about, Bubba?”
“Oh, I see you’re still keeping your sweet, innocent sister in the dark. What an eye opener, huh, Mickie? Your brother is a major crime boss and you – you are a mafia princess. A very beautiful one, I might add.”
“Mickie has never been part of this, Carl,” Matt growled, still holding her. “I’m warning you to leave her out of it.” His statement provoked roaring laughter from the assailant.
“Are your threats supposed to scare me? Please, I waste lackeys like you just for the hell of it.” But he did remove the weapon from his original target and began to wave it around as he spoke. “You still have a loose sheep running free, Sean.” He informed me. “You’re not out until he has come home. My father feels like you tried to offer him up to the Bureau on the platter. And he’s pissed. You have thirty days – or.” He pointed at Mickie and pulled the trigger. Click. “Today, you’re lucky, Sean because it’s just a warning to let you know that we will take our revenge in any form. Then, again, maybe you like playing Russian roulette with the people you love.” He pulled the trigger again. Click. He chuckled, took a step away, then turned back. “Oh, I almost forgot. My father wanted me to bring back a little insurance. I think she’ll do.” He snatched Mickie’s hand.
I was frozen, afraid to take a step, fearing the next chamber would not be empty. All I could do was watch as she was led a step away from the safety of Matt’s grasp, but only a step. The strong feelings my hired man seemed to have erased all good judgment and he moved like a cobra. Coiling and striking, delivering a hard head-butt, leaving Carl sprawled out on the pavement, barely able to lift his cranium.
“I refuse to have this conversation with you again!” Matt then spat on the incoherent thug, and like a true gentleman, he took Mickie’s hand and led her away, holding the door to the Hummer open and letting her slip inside. He slipped in beside her.
I knelt beside Carl Bolivar and waited until he regained focus. “I don’t like it when people threaten my family, Carl.” I hissed. “You tell your father that if he has a problem with me – come
to me.”
We crossed the thresholds of Gianetti Manner without further obstacles. Mickie had no questions and her silence put me on edge because the absence of her constant chatter had never been a good sign.
I could only imagine what was going through her mind and it made me sick to my stomach when I thought of how differently she would see me. No longer would I be the hero she looked up to, the man who had fixed all her problems. She would see me for my true self, the man the rest of Jenithiyah saw. The man Jessie saw.
She entered our home and immediately retired upstairs – still without a word, leaving the men in her life to stare after her, worrying about her safety and our shattered image in her eyes.
“Don’t think that I’m going to change my position because of what you did today, Divani.” After the night had settled and a few beers had been quietly shared around the table, I broached the subject that I knew had to be addressed.
“I never thought you would,” Matt sadly stated.
Grato held his bottle out in the middle of the table, his eyes glanced from one of us to the other and then he shook it lightly, prompting us both to tap our own in a toast. I guess the guy thought our relationship was crumbling before his eyes.
“Nothing’s broken here, Grato,” Matt assured his brother with a pat on the shoulder.
“I’m going to call it a night,” I announced with no need to extend an invitation for them to stay the night, but after Carl’s threats, I decided to amend their living arrangements. “I think it’s time you boys ditched that tin can.” The renovated aluminum storage shed they rented had never been appealing to me.
~ ♥ ~
In the early morning hours, I woke from a deep sleep and a pleasant dream – about Jessie. A handful of dreams had come to me since I had met her and all of them had been wonderful. So had this one – at first.
Unable to clear away the last moment of my slumber, I reached for the remote and held the tablet in my hand, staring at the many options on the screen. The device operated everything from turning on the light to locking the door in the room, a stunning piece of technology that I rarely used because the darkness of the sanctuary was usually comforting.
Son of a Mobster (Criminal Desires) Page 16