Jessie glared at Tina and kicked her under the table.
“Oww!” Tina was straight forward when the time warranted.
“Really?” I raised my eyebrow and took another bite.
“No,” Jessie insisted.
I chuckled. “So, what does she tell you when I’m not around, Teen?”
“I don’t talk about you and if I did, I would say that you are the most irritating, nosey, pushy and confusing human being I ever met in my life,” Jessie answered and Tina nearly spit her beer out.
“She knows you too well, Seany,” Tina joked, “Guess we’ll just have to kill her.”
My eyes shifted away and I tried to take another bite of my burger but found my stomach had exceeded its capacity, forcing me to groan and push it away.
“Wuss,” Jessie kidded and ate her last bite, then reached over and picked up a few of my fries, swirled them around in the ketchup, then stuck them in her mouth.
I watched her in awe. I loved everything about her, including her appetite. I suddenly knew it had been a mistake to show up that night. The more time I spent with Jessie, the more I fell for her.
“Are you ready to dance, again?” I asked immediately, taking her hand and leading her to the floor where I held her close.
“You’re a great dancer,” She placed her head on my shoulder.
“Somehow, everything with you seems natural.” I rested my chin gently on the top of her head and sighed. It was much different than the dance I had solicited the night before.
In the corner, a familiar face watched my every move. Josh Tucker stole away the first moment of peace I had found in a decade.
“You surprise me, Jessie.”
“I somehow get the feeling that you’re not easily surprised.”
“I’m not.” Discreetly, I moved away from the center of the room, moving to a secluded corner where the falls would block Tucker’s view. “So, tell me, how did Tina get you to come to this joint?”
“I just didn’t want to sit at home by myself anymore.” Her sadness returned. “I don’t really have anywhere else to go. I have no one to visit or anything.”
I nodded. “You miss your family and friends, huh?”
“Yeah, I miss my parents.”
“If you need some time off so you can visit …”
“I can’t visit them. They’re dead.” Not the answer I had expected, but I felt no sympathy, only mistrust. Caution still orchestrated my life, never knowing who I could trust, no matter how innocent they appeared. I was too close to freedom to let one spur of the moment slip screw me over.
I paid close attention to her every movement as she spoke. I watched her eyes for the tell-tale jitter that would expose any lies. I listened to her voice, sure I would know if she was making up her life as she went along, partially hoping for something that would change my perspective. She’d already shot me down too many times.
I guided her back to our table, unable to continue our dance.
“My father died not long ago and my mom died when I was born. Hell of a thing to have in common.” Sipping a fresh beer, I watched her toy with her necklace, appearing genuinely sad. “How about yours? How did they die?”
“Car wreck when I was thirteen. I was with them. I still don’t know why I’m still here.”
I gave her a sympathetic smile. “There is a reason for everything.”
“Oh sure, I was meant to live on so I could take my clothes off for a bunch of drunks,” she said sarcastically. “My dad is probably rolling over in his grave.”
“I’m sure he understands.” I felt sorrowful for her loss, believing that whether or not she spoke the complete truth, she was intensely ashamed of what she was doing at De’Bris.
Awkward silence stole the moment and I searched for a way to end it. “That’s a pretty necklace,” I reached out and took it in my hand, a little offended that she didn’t wear my gift.
Her hand shot out and grasped the jewel from me quickly, protecting it like a priceless treasure.
“My Pop gave it to me,” she explained. “It’s kind of special.”
“It’s nice.” Horribly, I again reminded her of her parents when I was trying to change the subject. She shifted her gaze and began to scratch the words off her mug and silence again replaced our chatter.
“I – I think I’m – I’m going to call it a night.”
And I could think of nothing to say to make her change her mind. I had enjoyed her company that night, yet my need to unlock deceit had chased her away. Emotions for her left me paralyzed. Desires clouded my mind. Jessie was dangerous. In my gut I knew it, but my mind couldn’t understand how someone so beautiful, sweet and innocent, while at the same time sassy and tough, could add another brick to the wall I was trying to tear down.
The drink wouldn’t make those feelings dissipate, no matter how many I ordered. I was confused and my old ways still dictated even though I had given it up. I needed to know one way or the other. I should have pushed Eric to thoroughly check her out, then maybe I wouldn’t be sitting there arguing with doubts.
I turned to my cell phone, dialed, and with very few words to Eric, my demand was sent out. Rushing him to get the information he’d continued to drag his feet on. I needed a reason to push her a way, before Bolivar figured out that she meant something to me.
I was insane to go after the woman again. I had done well staying away, but I had screwed up. I just couldn’t stop feeling what I felt no matter how dangerous it was.
“Earth to Sean.”
I lifted my gaze from the glass I held inches from the table, staring into space as the liquid slightly stirred.
“I thought you girls left.”
“I forgot my purse. Don’t look so disappointed.” Grinning ear to ear, Tina read me. She pierced her lips and placed her hand on her hip, demanding to know more.
“Why would I be disappointed?” I lied, but my friend was right, I would have liked Jessie to stay longer.
“She’s good for you, Seany.”
“Oh?”
Tina meant well, but she had no idea the torture I put myself through.
“And all this time I thought you were gay. Goodnight, Seany.” With a quick wink, she took steps away from my company, leaving my mouth agape in shock, my mind racing to figure out what I could have done to make the dancer believe I preferred men.
TWENTY-SIX
(Jessie)
SPINNING WITH ARMS SPREAD WIDE, inhaling air that promised rain, I laughed when my heel slipped off the sidewalk.
“You’re wasted, girl.” Tina held me up and I threw my arms around her neck.
Forever had sped past my eyes and I couldn’t recall another time I had felt genuinely happy. All my life I had felt chained, yet current freedom caused tears to roll down my cheeks. The voices of the past repeated all the things I had heard all my life from my father, my mother, and eventually my fiancé. Chastising me. Ridiculing me. I had always done what they said in and out of their presence. Always.
Slipping to my bottom, I gave up my journey and rested on the curve. “I’m not supposed to be doing this.” Technically, every moment of my time belonged to The Bureau and I was having fun until guilty sadness sobered me.
“That’s not good for the stomach. Keeping it bottled up inside like this. Talk to me.” Confiding would be a welcomed relief, but I feared our friendship would not survive the truth. “I know what makes you smile.” Tina sat beside me on the dirty curb and smiled impishly.
“Nothing makes me smile anymore, Teen.”
“Sean does.” She gently bumped my shoulder.
I laughed and looked at the night sky wondering how a damned criminal could show me more kindness and respect than any other man in my life.
“Tina, if you knew …”
“Knew what?”
“Forget about it. Let’s get home. I’m getting cold.” I had already said too much. It was on the tip of my tongue to spill out my true profession.
Th
e walk to the apartment seemed much longer when I was biting my tongue and I counted the lines in the sidewalk until frustration overtook my better judgment.
“You know I’m so sick of it all. I mean since I met you, I have laughed and joked. I’m not serious every second of the day and it feels good – it feels so good, but then I remember and I walk around criticizing and yelling at myself because I’m enjoying what I’m doing. I know it’s wrong – I know, but why does it feel so great?” I blurted. My insides unable to hold the anguish any longer.
“The attention from men can be an ego boost.” Tina had no clue and I wanted to divulge my entire story.
No one had stood by me like the dancer, nor did they support my decisions and comprehend my choices, unless my choices benefited them in some way.
“Ladies?” A suave walking, uniformed officer moved away from a parked squad car. His partner, older and round in the middle, flanked his right side twirling a baton. I didn’t know them and they didn’t seem to know me. “It’s late for a walk, isn’t it?”
“With a few exceptions?” Tina concluded and nodded at the officers, causing me to stifle a laugh. “What do you want?”
“Cute.” Gruff and not amused, the elder officer held his holstered his weapon. “Where are you heading at four a.m.?”
“Home. You got a problem with that?” Immediately, I thought about my fiancé and worried that he had gotten into an altercation with Sean at the Stardust.
He had ruined my fun, causing me to retire earlier than I had wanted. I was still irritated that he’d felt the need to show himself after so many months of staying away. Then his jealousy and hatred became a reason for concern.
My stomach swirled nervously, awaiting tragic news. But which one was hurt? Which one was gone and who I would mourn more?
“Home? Sure.” The older cop smirked, trailing lustful eyes from my head to my toes. “Looks more like you’re walking the streets, right David?”
Arrogant, lust in his eyes, the one called David swaggered, one foot in front of the other, focused intently on Tina who turned, hiding her picturesque features behind long honey colored hair.
“You know, Harry, I think I recognize this one.” Snatching her chin, digging his fingertips into skin, David forced Tina to show herself. “Yeah, I know you. We got us a couple of those erotic dancers from De’Bris.” The younger man eagerly grinned.
Instantly, my memory flickered and a thick file of photographs and reports came to mind. Bruised and beaten young women of the streets, partiers and some just innocently lost, all who had profiled their attackers as male officers who verbally and physically damned them for their life styles. PD had sought my help to figure out the clues.
“Strippers, huh? Not much different than a prostitute in my book.” Harry chuckled. “I bet you give a few extra privileges to special customers. What’s the going rate? Five, ten dollars?” He touched my arm, tracing two fingers from my elbow to my shoulder.
“Screw you,” I smarted off.
“Hey! Watch your mouth. You speak to us with respect. You got that?” Jabbing his finger, his free hand still clutching Tina, the younger of the men illustrated his intentions.
“Why? Because you’re wearing that badge?”
“Jessie, what are you doing? Just chill out,” Tina whispered. “I got a kid. I can’t get arrested.”
“How is our son?” David snickered, leaning in and raucously whispering into Tina’s ear. “Maybe, we can give him a brother – soon. Real soon.” Sucking in air through his teeth, I sensed Tina’s discomfort and embarrassment.
“We don’t have to stay here. We haven’t done anything wrong.” I attempted to resume my path to the apartment, hoping the wayward officers would leave us alone.
“Your identification.” A tussle of David’s blond hair toppled out of its slicked back position, his gaze horrifically wide. “Now!”
“Grrrrr!” Flicking the plastic card from my purse, I held it out, purposely releasing it just before he could take it.
His lip snarled and his professional disposition faded. He snatched my wrist and tucked it behind my back, thrusting it upwards causing pain and I cried out, realizing that my ability to properly defend herself was still compromised by the drink.
“Pick it up!” He forced my waist to bend and used my arm to maneuver me as he wished, leading me to the item I had insolently flung. Sharp bolts of pain paralyzed my shoulder. “Pick it up!” With no choice, I did as he asked, only to be shoved against the hood of the waiting car.
I bit my tongue while his calloused hands caressed my legs starting at my ankles and traveling slowly to my thigh while the contents of my purse was emptied in front of me and pawed through. Scattering some items so far they rolled into the street.
“Look what we have here?” The gray haired one swung a small plastic bag, containing a substance I knew was illegal and wasn’t one of my belongings.
I spat out a haughty snicker, thinking about how they would soon be the ones locked behind steel bars. Any moment whoever listened in on my wire would come to my aid.
“You’re in a lot of trouble, Ms. Lawson.” David purred, sculpting his entire body to mine. He brushed my hair off my shoulder and breathed hot breaths on my neck. “But, it could all go away. Like it never happened.”
I choked on venomous words, realizing Tina was familiar with their exploits.
His hand slithered under my halter and traced the edges of my breasts. His fingers slipped beneath them before taking the full weight in the palm of his hands. Hot, onion tainted breathes fell over me with his dissolute moan.
I lost control, spun on the officer and delivered a strict slap to his cheek.
Chaos ensued and I was alone in my fight, face down in an unknown lukewarm wet spot on the concrete, breathing in oil-tainted fumes and eventually deprived of oxygen under the weight of the scorned David. The sharp concrete cut into my cheek, but the cruelest pain was from the metal handcuffs, pushed so tight it ripped at my skin.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” The younger man screamed in my ear. “You have the right to remain silent …” but his words faded, my own infuriated thoughts screaming louder.
“Leave her alone!” Hearing my friend yell out changed the focus of my concern.
Twisting and struggling I turned my head just in time to see Tina’s cell phone knocked from her hand and my arrestor’s partner secure her waist. The long legged beauty kicked out but was easily defeated.
“Go home!” The cop screamed. “Unless you want to join your friend!” He shoved Tina away, causing her to fall. He proceeded to pick up the cell phone and smash it against the nearby brick building, before flinging it back to its owner.
“You could learn something from your girlfriend,” David chastised, using my hair like a rope to raise me to a standing position, forcing my body to bend back awkwardly so he could growl in my ear. “She knows when to cooperate.”
“You have no idea who you’re dealing with jerk!” Backup hadn’t show up to help. Of course, they couldn’t come to my defense out in the open and jeopardize my cover, but it would all be revealed at the jailhouse.
Rick had truly thought of every possible complication, including fixing my fingerprints to match my fake identification, which did nothing to save me from the abuse of my arrestors. I was booked, photographed and forced to plead my case in front of a judge. I waited angrily. Storming a small, dirty holding cell. Pacing back and forth across chipped and stained cement. Smacking the cold bars with my hands. Cursing under my breath.
Where was the JBI? Why was I sitting there because I could not afford my ridiculously high bail? My one phone call, transferred to a mailbox, wasted with no other options. I cursed under my breath. Disgusted by my plastered make-up cellmate, who sat picking at her long plastic nails.
“Lawson!” I had forgotten my name. “Jessie Lawson! Are you deaf? Someone wants to talk to you.” A broad shouldered female officer addressed.
I placed
my hands inside a small, square window, allowing my hands to be bound before the door could be opened.
I walked for an eternity down a long corridor. Darkened by burned out bulbs and depressingly drab walls. I organized my recollection and my frustrations, ready to blurt them all out to the people who were supposed to protect me.
Rick pulled me into a fatherly hug the moment the cuffs were taken and the door was closed. Finally, someone cared. “Are you alright?” He was livid and my account of the ordeal was unnecessary. “I put out a warrant – we needed you brought in.”
“I’m fine.” But I wasn’t as I demonstrated by flopping into a nearby chair and crossing my arms, paying no formal respect to Harkins or the leather clad, longhaired agent standing against the wall. Beside him, my red-headed nemesis displayed a satisfied grin. “What was so important I had to be ripped off the streets?”
“You’re done,” Harkins informed me, showing no concern. “You failed, Cicconi. Take care of what you need. Shouldn’t take more than a phone call.” Sinisterly he snickered, delighted he could weasel out of his bargain.
“Fine. Someone take me to claim my things so I can get the hell out of here.”
“The paperwork has already been filled out. Just get out of my sight.”
I wanted to tell the man exactly where he could shove his snotty comments.
“Excuse me,” Wringing stubby hands, the woman officer who had escorted me interrupted. “Ms. Lawson’s bail’s been paid.”
“By who?” Marcy quipped and everyone’s awestruck eyes centered on me.
“Who do you think?” Sarcastically I spat and aired a daring expression of triumph, locking hate filled eyes on Harkins.
“I’m starting to think that you’re playing on the wrong team, Cicconi,” he growled, gnashing his bleached teeth. “Go back and tell Gianetti that his girlfriend has decided to leave town,” he spat to the lady officer.
“What makes you think Gianetti’s going to give her up?” Jackson spoke up. “He won’t let her just walk out of his life. He came here to claim her and to warn us to leave her alone. If she doesn’t go out that door. He will look for her – he will find her.”
Son of a Mobster (Criminal Desires) Page 19