by Katz, Avery
“Nothing. He’ll charge you nothing. I’m paying for this shit. It’s the least I can do after Vegas.”
“Nonsense. I’m paying, and that’s final.”
He shook his head vehemently. “You’re my hubby now. Besides, I did so well this quarter, and my bonus is enough to cover any legal costs that might ensue because of Wendy and her gold digging behind,” he insisted. “Her butt is huge by the way. Did she get a Brazilian butt lift?”
“Yep. She said she wanted a Kim K ass to go with her overall aesthetic.”
He got up from his chair and ruffled Adley’s curls with caution. “Aww, she has your hair.”
I glanced at my watch and waited five more minutes for her to finish eating. Afterward, I carried her to the bathroom where we collectively washed our hands and faces. I looked haggard from waking up early and drinking all that alcohol in Vegas. It definitely took its toll on my face.
“Go sit down,” Greg suddenly said from behind me. “Let me take care of things. I can dress Adley and get her ready for our appointment. Just point me in the direction of her closet.”
“Color me shocked.” I laughed. “Are you sure you want to challenge your phobia right now?”
He carefully approached Adley and touched her cherub cheek. She latched onto his hand and practically lunged at him. “Whoa. Easy there, little cupcake.”
“See? She wants her uncle Greg.”
I carefully handed her over to him. “Be gentle with my precious cargo.”
“Don’t worry. She’s in good hands,” he reassured me. “If Danny can trust me with his horses, then you can definitely trust me with Adley.”
“Sure. If Adley was sixty inches tall and weighed a thousand pounds.”
I carefully handed her over to him and showed him how to carry her. She giggled and tugged on his short curls. “See? So far, so good.”
I sat down in the rocking chair and watched him marvel at her dressing room. It had pastel blue wallpaper adorned with pink unicorns and fluffy white clouds. The shelves were painted lavender purple, and the floor was furnished with a matching unicorn carpet from IKEA. I pretended to read a magazine while he tried to figure out which outfit to put her in. The shelves were packed with dresses, shorts, shirts, and booties for every occasion. The only thing Wendy and I ever bonded over was shopping for Adley. We loved playing dress up and popping tags on new things.
“So, little lady. Shall we go with a cute mini skirt and a ruffly top, or a Lacoste summer dress?”
“Dwess,” my daughter answered with confidence.
Greg hugged her to his chest and removed said dress from its hanger. I low-key watched him as he sat her down on the changing table and stared at her shirt like it was a difficult math equation. He scratched his blond head and studied said dress from all angles. Adley tilted her head to the side and stared up at him with open curiosity and admiration.
“Now how shall we remove this?” He stroked his chin before gently lifting her arms over her head. He pulled the shirt over her head, but Adley refused to stay still. Her muffled giggles cracked me up. Greg hooked an arm around her waist and anchored her to the table. She wiggled in his grasp, thinking it was some kind of game.
He was adorably terrified and cautious at the same time. “Come on, Lockridge. You can do this.”
It took him more than ten minutes to fully dress her, but he did it all on his own. He made my heart melt, knowing that he was doing this for me. He did an overall great job with Adley. She had a hard time staying still throughout the outfit-changing process. It reminded me of the time we created an app for this client who refused to settle on a design. She changed her mind so many times that we ended up scrapping the project altogether. A few weeks after that, she returned with another idea. She wanted us to create a virtual closet with hundreds of outfit choices. This time around, she actually loved the design. It was even featured in Wired Magazine.
I got up to use the bathroom and came back to find my daughter pulling on Greg’s nose and drooling on his shirt. The expression on his face said it all. He looked grossed out and ready to hand her over to me. “Hey, let me relieve you of your baby duties for the day.”
“Please do,” he said. “I’m used to guys drooling over me all the time, but your daughter really takes the cake. Her mouth is the Fontana Di Trevi of drooling.” He held her at arm’s length until I walked over and took her from him.
I grabbed a couple of baby wipes and mopped up the mess she made.
“Go change your shirt. You’ll find plenty of choices in my dressing room.”
“Great. Thanks.”
“No, thank you for defying your baby phobia. I really appreciate you taking her off my hands. Next time, I’m putting you on diaper duty.”
“Haha. Very funny.”
14
Greg
Quin and I headed over to Willis and Associates for our appointment. His nervousness rubbed off on me. He reminded me of our days in boarding school when he used to bite his nails before our final exams. He was often tense and constipated. I sometimes used my cock as a tool to fuck stress and anxiety out of his system. It worked like a charm. Creative men like him were constantly fretting over their lives and accomplishments. Luckily, I had my Raplen genes to thank for my chill attitude towards everything. My country was on weed compared to America. California was somewhat laid back compared to the rest of the United States. Everyone was in a hurry all the time here. Quin for one was talented and successful but always concerned about his finances. I was more than happy to pay his legal bills, especially after earning more than fifty grand at the casino. I wanted to spend it all on him and Adley.
Speaking of that baby, she almost made me shit my pants today. I was scared she’d fall off that table and break her fragile neck. Meanwhile, Quin just sat there and pretended not to notice. Trying to get Adley to put her tiny arms into the sleeves of her dress was a challenge all on its own.
“Good afternoon. We have an appointment with Mr. Willis,” I told the receptionist. She instantly recognized me and rose to her feet. She took us straight to my lawyer’s office. It was on the twenty-third floor with a fantastic view of the Golden Gate Bridge. Adley was fast asleep in her stroller, so we quietly shook hands with the guy and sat down.
Quin told him about Wendy and her affair. The vein in his forehead throbbed angrily while he spoke. It reminded me of another part of him that throbbed and spurted all over my hands. My mind went somewhere else where we were in bed fucking like rabbits. I cleared my throat and sat up straight in my chair. This was not the time for porn fantasies. Although Quin would look good in one of his manga outfits. He was partially obsessed with Japanese anime.
“I really am worried about losing Adley. It’s all I can think about.”
“Well, I hate to break it to you, Mr. Hampton, but mothers are usually granted custody.”
“Uh-oh.”
“The good news is that the judge may offer joint custody given the right conditions.”
I exchanged glances with Quin. He leaned forward in his chair and wrung his hands together. “I have a stable income and a lucrative business. I also own a beach house in Monterey, and I’m currently in the process of building one in Ocean Beach. It’s a very family-friendly neighborhood. Does this fall within the spectrum of good conditions?”
“Yes,” Willis replied. “It does, but you also have to take into account the emotional well-being of your daughter. How old is she? Two? Babies at this age need to be nurtured by their mothers.”
Quin sighed and ran his fingers through his soft hair. “True,” he said. “There’s also one more thing you should know. Greg and I went to Vegas, and one thing led to another. We got married on a whim, but we’re planning on getting a divorce soon.”
Willis pushed his glasses up his nose and gave me a knowing look. I showed him my wedding ring and flashed him a sheepish smile in return. “Yep, we did.”
“I strongly advise you not to file for divorce. It will
give the judge the wrong impression. Trust me on this. It will show Quin as fickle and incapable of making good decisions.”
Shit. How did we let this slip under our radar? Willis was right. Wendy’s lawyer will use our marriage as a weapon against us. Our divorce would only add fuel to the fucking fire.
“I suggest you remain together until after the possible divorce hearing.”
His words were music to my ears. I wiggled my eyebrows at Quin and did a mental happy dance complete with imaginary balloons, fireworks, and unicorns. I wanted to jump on the chair like Tom Cruise on Oprah and then open a bottle of champagne in celebration.
“Alright. That’s doable. We can wait until this shit storm blows over,” Quin conceded. He threw me a bunch of weird glances. It was almost as if he could see right inside my head. I certainly made it clear that I was fucking A-Okay with this decision.
“I would like to add that even if the mother does not file for custody, you should not wait for it to happen. I highly recommend that you try and come up with a mutually satisfying arrangement with your ex-wife and get it in writing.”
“Great. Thank you very much.”
I pushed the stroller out of the office while Quin said goodbye to my kickass lawyer. I had already messaged him earlier and told him to put this meeting on my tab. My hubby managed to somewhat relax and smile inside the elevator. Adley woke up just in time for us to head over to Chuck E Cheese’s for some pizza and chicken wings. I could never say no to pizza. No matter how hard I tried.
The kid-friendly restaurant was bustling with kids of all ages. We found an empty table by the window and ordered our food to the sound of arcade games and mice puppets. It was the perfect place to observe children in their natural habitat.
“Are you okay? Do I need to call the baby phobia emergency Hotline?” he teased me.
“Nah. I’m not breaking out in hives, which is a good sign.” I pretended to feel my pulse. “And my heart rate is normal too. Adley is cool. We just need to work on her hand-eye coordination.”
He rolled his baby blues and placed a napkin around his daughter’s neck. “I forgot her bib at home. Let’s hope she doesn’t ruin her Lacoste dress. It’s dry-clean only.”
“Why do you buy designer stuff for your kid? She’s only two.” I snickered.
“Force of habit. Wendy likes showing her off to the women at the country club.”
Our food arrived. I wolfed down my pepperoni pizza and watched Adley finger her cheese rolls. She then grabbed her plastic fork and stabbed her veggie pizza with it. She kept on stabbing the dough until she got bored and decided to eat it instead. Kids are so weird.
“So, what is our next plan of action, hubby?” I asked, using my favorite word. “Because I have no problem being married to you if it means helping you keep custody of little Miss Katana over here.”
“Me neither.” He shrugged. “I was just thinking of throwing a huge birthday party for Adley and inviting Wendy over to talk. This should count as a gesture of goodwill on my end.”
“You have a big heart, hubbs. You really do.”
15
Quin
I pulled out all the stops for Adley’s birthday. It was a birthday bash worthy of a real princess. I went for a pastel pink color palette and a unicorn theme. The penthouse was decked out with rainbow helium balloons and cotton candy banners. There was a puppet stage out on the large terrace and an arts and crafts corner where kids were able to play with cloud dough. I also hired a woman I know to dress up as a magical glittery unicorn and give out party favors for our guests. The caterers arrived on time and went straight to work. We had finger sandwiches for aperitifs and mini pizzas and sausage rolls for the kids. I also ordered healthy options for fussy parents who were vegan, and gluten-free cupcakes in case someone was allergic to the main chocolate fudge cake. The waiters I hired for the day helped me carry the four-tier cake to the kitchen. It was decorated with edible unicorns of all shapes, colors, and sizes.
“Thank you, gentlemen.” I dusted off my casual Armani jacket and straightened my bow tie. Greg talked me into wearing one because they suited my face.
Our guests for the afternoon started pouring in at around three o’clock. It was mostly a family affair, so my mother and my twin sisters were invited. They flew all the way from Florida to attend their niece’s birthday party. Hannah and Leah ran a cafe and bookstore in Delray Beach. They also dabbled in fashion and art. They gave me a big bear hug when they saw me. We sat down before the guests arrived and had a little chat. I filled them in on everything, including my marriage to Greg.
“We already know. CNN and MSNBC told us about you and Greggy,” Hanna said. “And by that, I mean Mom of course. She should get a job as a reporter for Good Morning America.”
“Tell me about it.” I sighed.
“So, where is little G?” Leah asked, referring to my husband.
“Oh, he should be here any minute. His cousin and brother are here. He is currently picking them up from their hotel.”
Greg showed up ten minutes later with his brother Danny, Nathan, who was married to Danny, and their cousin Tommy. I was honored to have Raplen’s royals in my house. Danny was humble and kindhearted. He bought two gifts for Adley who was starstruck by them. She was dressed in a pink tutu and a white shirt with ponies on it. Hannah and Leah both showered her with kisses and carried her around the sea of balloons. My baby was the glue that brought us all together. She was like the data cable that connected the hard drive to the motherboard.
Tommy was in a foul mood, so I offered him a cold beer which he eagerly drank.
“Excuse his grumpy mood,” Danny said. “He’s been bested by his rival, Evan Spencer. His ego is mega-bruised. They were both competing to have their painting hanged in a prestigious art gallery in Florence, and Evan’s art piece was accepted.”
“Oh, please. Evan cheated. All of my Italian connections told me so. He somehow managed to influence the judges. How? I have no idea, but I intend to find out.”
“Oooh, the plot thickens,” Greg playfully said. He was in an excellent mood today. He was also dressed to kill in a Polo shirt and khaki pants. His soft curls were combed to one side and his clean-shaven face looked well rested.
I chuckled and took them on a tour around the penthouse. They were extremely delighted by the terrace and the panoramic view of the ocean. Everyone was having a good time, but I was a bit shy around Greg’s brothers. They were amazing, nonjudgmental people who knew about our marriage. I just wasn’t sure if they knew the circumstances behind said marriage.
“By the way, you’re officially invited to Raplen,” Danny declared. “Everyone wants to meet you. In fact, our grandmother, the Queen, insists that you come with Gregory so she can personally bless your marriage. She still isn’t sure whethe this is some kind of elaborate joke.”
My mother perked up at the mention of ”Raplen” and ”Queen.” Her strong, flowery perfume invaded my nose when she walked up to Danny and told him that we were definitely coming. “We would be delighted to visit Lockridge Palace. I’ve heard so much about it.”
I cocked my head to one side and watched her compliment the prince’s outfit. A light bulb must have gone off inside her head because her attitude towards Raplen and Greg suddenly changed. It was as if she had just discovered the perks that came with being linked to the royal family.
“Duchess Louisa. It has a nice ring to it.” I caught her saying to her friends when I walked past them to greet my new guests. They were mostly friends from work who often went on play dates with Adley. The children gathered around the puppet stage while the adults chatted about sports and politics.
I glanced at my watch, waiting for Wendy to show up so we could finally have our talk. She was taking her sweet time getting here.
I decided to invite everyone to a game of dictionary, which Louisa was especially good at it. We sat close to where the kids were watching the puppet show and divided ourselves into two groups. Greg, Dann
y, and Nathan joined forces with Hannah, Leah, and Louisa. They competed against my team of computer engineers from work. Two of them were lovely women who helped me create our latest gaming app. I was surprised to see my mom bonding with Danny of all people. Louisa spent quite some time schmoozing with him.
Our team won fair and square. We were simply too good at this guessing game.
We were almost ready to blow the candles when Wendy finally showed up. She wore a tight yellow dress with a scoop neckline and pink Prada shoes. She strutted into the living room with her nose in the air. She tossed back her auburn waves and placed her Louis Vuitton bag on the coffee table. She said hello to everyone and walked over to where Adley was sitting. The puppet show came to an end and everybody clapped. Wendy crouched next to our daughter and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I honestly was wary of my ex-wife, but she was clever enough to behave. “Time for the birthday cake!”
The waiters brought out the amazing unicorn cake. Wendy was actually impressed for a change. We sang happy birthday to my little girl while my sisters took photos of the momentous occasion. Adley clapped her hands excitedly and then tried to crawl towards the chocolate-tier masterpiece. “Corn! Corn!”
We blew out the candles on her behalf, and then Louisa took over the cake cutting.
“Happy birthday, angel!” Hannah borrowed my daughter so I could talk to Wendy in private.
We went to my study. She sat down and crossed her legs. I hovered next to my favorite alcohol cabinet and took out an expensive bottle of bourbon. “Would you like some bourbon?”
“No, thanks,” she said. “Enough with the pleasantries already. Just tell me what you want.”
“Very well.” I poured myself a drink and sat down right across from her. “I’m sure that deep down, you want what’s best for Adley just as much as I do. Having said that, I really think she’s better off living with me on a permanent basis.”