It hadn’t occurred to me before, but he was right. They were extremely similar. Both fiery, dynamic characters with a mesmeric appeal. Prickly, but vulnerable and misunderstood. I could understand why they were drawn to each other in the first place, but equally unsurprised that they wouldn’t have lasted any length of time together as a couple.
A silence fell over us as his hands combed my hair.
‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ I asked him, feeling the tautness in the muscles of his arms and face.
He pulled away and walked across to the sink, arching his back slightly to look at the view out of the window. He let out a huge breath.
‘You know that letter, the one from my mum?’
Ah, so that’s what had been playing on his mind.
‘Yes.’
‘I know now why she sent it. After all these years.’ His voice was tight with emotion.
‘Why? What’s happened?’ I asked, wandering over to put a hand up to his shoulder. A black cloud hung ominously overhead.
‘She was in hospital,’ he said, quietly. ‘Cancer, apparently.’ His head fell back onto his shoulders, his gaze on the ceiling. ‘I left it too late, Beth. She died. Last night.’
‘No!’ I gasped, a wave of sadness filling my chest. It was only a matter of weeks since that first letter had turned up, stirring up all his buried emotions, and now this. ‘Oh Rocco, I’m so sorry.’
I wrapped my arms around him, resting my head against his chest. Selfishly, thoughts of how this might affect our relationship flooded into my mind. Just as quickly I banished them, returning my attention to Rocco. I pulled back to examine his face. Abruptly, he turned away, but not before I’d noticed the moistening of his eyes.
‘Ted, her husband, rang to tell me.’ He shrugged, a wry expression on his face. ‘It’s stupid really. I mean, I grieved for my mother years ago. It’s not as if I even knew her. It’s just a shock, that’s all.’
‘Of course, it is.’ I fell silent, wondering how I’d feel in the same position. I couldn’t bear to think about it. Tears filled my eyes. ‘She was still your mum, despite everything that happened.’
‘Yeah.’ He looked wistful. ‘I suppose that’s it. You only get one mum, don’t you? And now I’ll never get to know her. Selfish, really. I’m thinking of that young kid she walked out on. He didn’t deserve that. I wanted some answers for him.’
I nodded, my heart stung. The hurt he’d felt as a child was still locked away inside and now the raw edges had been picked open and left bleeding again.
‘I mean, could you have done that?’ His eyes looked at me for answers.
I shrugged, feeling utterly helpless just wanting to find the right words to comfort him.
‘Walked out on your child without so much as an explanation? What kind of a woman does that?’
‘I don’t know,’ I said, not really understanding how any woman could be driven to such behaviour. ‘But it was a different time. We don’t know what your mum went through. What her reasons were. But you can bet your life it wasn’t an easy decision for her. And at least you know she was trying to make amends. She did get in touch. Even if it was a bit late.’
Rocco looked unimpressed.
‘You’ll come with me?’
I turned my face up to his, not understanding.
‘To the funeral. It’ll be in the New Year now.’
‘Of course,’ I said. I took his hand and my fingers interlaced with his. ‘Of course I’ll come with you.’
‘Good,’ he said. ‘I’d really appreciate it. I don’t think I could face it on my own.’
We sat there for a moment in silence, as he looked at me intently. He smiled, the sadness lifting from his eyes.
‘I don’t know about you, but I’m shattered. Shall we go up to bed?’
He took me by the hand and led me up the stairs. We fell into bed and almost immediately Rocco fell asleep as we lay wrapped in each other’s arms.
Chapter 28
Rocco was an early bird; as I’d already gathered. When I woke up the next morning he was nowhere to be seen, so sleepily I wandered downstairs.
‘Aha, Miss Brown!’ He greeted me from the bottom, ‘and what time do you call this?’ He made a big show of checking his watch. ‘I do hope you’re not going to make a habit of rolling into the office late, wearing your best just-got-out-of-bed look.’
‘Well, I could do, if you wanted me to.’ I smiled, pleased that he seemed a bit brighter this morning.
‘Now then,’ he said, squeezing me affectionately around the waist, ‘we have some very important work to do today.’
‘We do?’ And there was me hoping that work might take a back seat on Christmas Eve.
‘Yes. I’ve checked the diary and it would seem I’ve overlooked your appraisal. We should have done this much earlier and I can only apologise. A terrible oversight on my part.’
‘Dreadful.’ I giggled as he slid open my robe and his hands found the curve of my waist. His lips descended upon my breastbone sending a thrill of delight ricocheting around my body.
‘So we ought to get onto it straight away, don’t you think?’
‘Er . . .’ I squirmed, as his tongue traced a route into my cleavage. ‘Yes, if you say so,’ I sighed, trying and failing to hang onto a modicum of decency. ‘Shall I book the whole morning out, then?’
‘Definitely. I think your ravishing, um, I mean your appraisal could take some time.’
I giggled some more as Rocco lifted me up in his arms. Finally, the moment I’d imagined and dreamt about, but never really believed would happen. My entire body tingled with anticipation. I thought he might take me straight back upstairs to the big double bed, but we didn’t make it, only getting as far as the depths of the shag pile in the living room.
He placed me gently on the huge wool rug in front of the fire, slipping my robe off my shoulders and kissing me tenderly on the lips. He sat back on his haunches, his dark eyes travelling over my body.
‘God, you are so beautiful, Beth.’ His voice was warm and appreciative and his fingers made feather-light movements across my body. His hands cupped my breasts, his thumbs making light circular motions on my nipples.
I groaned in delight, unable to ignore the almost unbearable warm longing between my thighs. I pulled Rocco down beside me, and his kisses became more urgent as his tongue explored my mouth. Instinctively, my hand reached out to his waistband, my fingers fumbling to undo his button and pull down the zip. Breathing heavily, Rocco ripped open his button, loosening his trousers, allowing my hand to feel his straining erection. I gasped again, light-headed with desire. Then Rocco was standing naked in front of me and I had never before seen anyone quite so beautiful. The long lines of his body were strong and firm, his muscles well-defined and his eyes heavy with longing. He held out his hands to me, pulling me up to reach him, and our bodies pressed together as his hands roamed over me. His hardness against me made me squirm with pleasure.
We fell back onto the rug, our bodies pressed together as our hands explored each other’s naked flesh, and all the time Rocco’s lips were covering me in tiny, delicious kisses.
‘Oh, Rocco,’ I gasped.
‘Yes?’ He smiled, his eyes alight with a wicked mischievousness.
‘Please, Rocco,’ I begged. I reached down to feel him, and he groaned. I’d waited so long. I couldn’t wait a moment longer.
He ran a fingertip across my moistened lips. With his other hand, he parted my legs, his fingers gently probing, tenderly exploring my wetness, and if it was possible to die of anticipation, then I think I probably would have done.
Gently, he pushed inside me, my body yielding, accommodating his masculinity.
‘Okay?’ he breathed, supporting his weight above me.
‘Yes, yes,’ I sighed, my body arching in pleasure to meet him. We were locked together, and ripples of pleasure washed over me, my mind erased of everything but the present moment, of being at one with Rocco.
�
��Beth!’ He whispered my name over and over with increasing urgency, his hands caressing my face.
‘Rocco!’ I cried out in reply, as a final, shuddering, all-encompassing wave swept over me, sending spasms of ecstasy to the furthest extremes of my body. He fell, spent and exhausted, on top of me.
‘Oh, beautiful Beth.’
‘Rocco!’ Tears scattered on my cheeks as the enormity of the moment overtook me.
‘I love you, Beth. You do know that, don’t you?’
I knew it with all my heart, but I was still having trouble believing it.
‘I love you too,’ I replied, saying the words for the first time in my life, with a certainty and honesty I’d never known before.
Rocco supported himself on one elbow, as he wiped away my tears with his thumbs, his face full of concern.
‘So no tears, then, eh?’
‘No. Tears of happiness, that’s all. I can’t believe it. It was lovely. Heavenly. Like nothing I’ve ever known before.’
‘Well, that’s a relief.’ He kissed me lightly on the bridge of my nose. ‘I wouldn’t want to disappoint,’ he said, smiling. ‘After all, from what I hear, I have quite a reputation to live up to.’
‘Behave,’ I said, giving him a friendly dig in the side.
‘No regrets, then?’ he asked, and I was sure he knew my answer already.
‘None at all,’ I confirmed, revelling in the fact of being wrapped in his arms.
‘That was pretty amazing!’ he breathed, and his cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright. I smiled, feeling strangely powerful. I’d made this man happy. I could see it in his face. The last couple of days had been a rollercoaster of emotions. All the lows, now followed by a most magnificent high.
‘Amazing,’ I agreed, ‘although . . .’ I shifted uncomfortably on the rug and looked down at my bare legs. Fetching red spots had appeared on my skin, an occupational hazard, I supposed, of making love in such close proximity to the fire.
‘Ouch!’ He winced. ‘Come on, let’s get upstairs. Finish what we started here.’
‘Really? I thought we had finished,’ I teased.
‘Oh, believe you me, we’ve only just started.’
Upstairs we climbed into bed and I snuggled into the nest of Rocco’s arms. We lay there for hours, finding out more about each other, chatting about everything and nothing, stopping occasionally to kiss and caress one another.
‘I’m so glad you’re back, Beth.’ He squeezed my shoulder tight. ‘When I walked away from your flat that night I felt so bloody wretched. Hopeless. I thought I might never see you again and it felt awful. I didn’t know what I was going to do.’ His finger ran down my cheek. ‘But I wouldn’t have given up on you, Beth. I’d have kept coming back until you just couldn’t say no.’
I lifted my head briefly, sighing contentedly. Half of me couldn’t really believe the things I was hearing.
‘Well, you can imagine how I felt. Thinking you were about to marry a supermodel.’ I sniggered. How silly I’d been.
He shook his head and tutted in mock disgust.
‘I can’t honestly believe that you—’
‘You said something about Pandora talking you into the wedding,’ I interrupted, ‘and at that point the red mist came down and I couldn’t think straight anymore.’
He laughed, still shaking his head.
‘Pandora’s always loved this house. Certainly more than she’s ever loved me. And Zak is my best mate. I couldn’t say no. Of course, she’s talked me into providing the catering as well, but then what else are mates for?’
I laughed, realising how good natured he was beneath that gruff exterior. I felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness, wanting nothing more than to save him from the kind of hurt he’d experienced at the hands of his mother. I’d make him happy, I knew I could. It was all I wanted now.
‘That wasn’t the half of it though, was it? You really thought I was the kind of man who would propose to my prospective wife and go to the trouble of lining up a mistress at the same time?’
I covered my eyes with my hands, grimacing at the memory.
‘Mmmm.’ Rocco’s brow furrowed. ‘Now you come to mention it though, it’s not such a bad idea. I hadn’t really thought about it before, but I mean if you’re okay with the whole thing I could always see what I can get sorted.’
I fished beneath my head for a pillow and bunged it playfully at Rocco.
He laughed, kissing me affectionately on the top of my head.
‘Honestly though, Beth, I’ve come to rely on you so much. I can’t do without you in my life now. In a short space of time you’ve made yourself indispensable. In every way.’ He smiled wryly. ‘I’ve always thrived on my work, giving it my all, worked eighteen hour days to make the restaurant one of the best in London. When I was awarded my first Michelin star I can’t tell you how proud I felt. I still feel that pride. I still have the passion, but now there are so many other avenues I’d like to explore. I told you about the gastropubs?’
‘You mentioned it.’ I sat up, eager to know more. ‘How’s it all coming along?’
‘Well, it looks to be a go-er. We’ll be starting off with one in the Lake District and one in Cornwall or Devon, see how they go and then the plan is to open further pubs around the country. I’ll be selecting chefs and managers to run each venue, but I’ll be working closely with them on the menus. We’ll be sourcing the best local ingredients and the menus will showcase recipes from the region. It’s a big commitment, but it’s something I think could be hugely successful. It’ll mean me taking a back seat in the running of the London restaurant for a while, but I have a good team there who I know I can rely on to keep things running as they should.’ He pushed himself up, stacking his pillows against the headboard, clearly enthused as he spoke about this new project. ‘This will be a great opportunity for us to work together, Beth. I mean, I can take it that you’ll be hanging around for a while now?’ He looked at me expectantly.
After what we’d just experienced, I wasn’t about to go anywhere.
‘Well, if that job offer’s still open I’d love to be involved. It all sounds really exciting.’
‘That’s great,’ he said, stroking my chin. ‘The temp agency rang the other day wanting to know if I wanted to keep you on. Obviously I told them no way. That you were nothing but a trouble maker and a loose cannon.’
‘Is that right?’ I elbowed him sharply in the ribs.
‘No. But I did say we wouldn’t need you anymore. What I’ll do is draw up a contract for, say, the next three months, get you to look it over and if you’re happy with it, we can go with that. It’ll make more sense for you to work directly for me.’
‘Sure,’ I said brightly. Well, three months was a start, I supposed. ‘Um, you don’t think that our personal relationship will get in the way of our business relationship?’
‘Not if we don’t let it. Besides . . .’ His hands reached beneath the covers, finding the curve of my waist and his fingers began to explore my body, travelling down my hips and circling my thighs, ‘I’m beginning to realise there could be definite advantages.’
‘Ooh,’ I sighed, as his hands found a gloriously sensitive spot between the tops of my thighs and I writhed beneath his touch. ‘I do hope you’ve not brought me back here just for my . . . oh good grief, stop it . . . oh . . . for my body.’
‘Not just your body, but I have to say, Miss Brown, it is one of your most appealing attributes.’
‘That’s shocking,’ I said, pushing him away in mock disgust.
‘Oh, along with your marvellous organisational skills, your creativity, your IT prowess, your first-class secretarial skills . . .’
I looked down at him as his mouth hovered temptingly over my nipples.
‘. . . and your people skills are great, too. I mean, you are a very accomplished personal assistant and I am a very lucky man to have you, er, um, under me, so to speak.’
I giggled and pulled his head down onto my
breasts, gasping as his tongue found my bare skin.
‘Well, that’s okay, then,’ I just managed to say before being submerged under a fierce attack of kisses and caresses. ‘As long as you promise not to take advantage of me.’
Rocco proceeded to make love to me again. But this time he savoured each moment, exploring every contour of my body with his fingers and his tongue, until I thought I might faint with pleasure, and then we fell asleep together, wrapped tightly in each other’s arms.
Chapter 29
I crept out of bed, leaving Rocco snoring peacefully beneath the covers. It was Christmas Day. Through the bedroom window, I saw that thick snowflakes were dropping from the sky, topping up the snow that had transformed the landscape over the last few days. I turned to watch Rocco as he lay outstretched on the bed, and felt what I can only describe as a surge of pure joy.
It was unbelievable. A white Christmas for the first time I could remember, and I was spending it alone with the man I loved. As if on cue, he shifted under the duvet and I caught a glimpse of the strong calf muscle of one leg hanging over the edge of the bed.
‘What are you doing?’ A hand reached up to rub his eyes.
‘Merry Christmas, darling!’ I called, feeling as ridiculously excited as a small childwho’d discovered that Santa had been and left a sack of presents.
‘Come back to bed so I can give you your Christmas present,’ he said, his voice heavy with intent.
‘It’s snowing outside. Isn’t it fabulous?’ I turned, but Rocco’s enthusiasm for the weather outside didn’t match mine and he rolled over, burying his head beneath a pillow. ‘Do you fancy a walk? I’m sure Millie wouldn’t say no.’
Rocco groaned again and heaved himself up in bed.
‘Yes, we will. But not yet. We have the whole day ahead of us. Come here for a cuddle.’ He held out his arms, his eyes shining.
I sat on the edge of the bed and threw my arms around his neck.
‘Happy Christmas, darling!’
‘Happy Christmas to you too, sweetheart. You know,’ he said, stroking my hair away from my face, ‘having you here is the best Christmas present I could ever have wished for.’
WARM WINTER KISSES a feel good Christmas romance novel Page 19