Maddy said, “That’s a great idea.” She put on a fake frown. “Unless you waste a lot of time in the bathroom, pal. Bathroom time is precious time.”
Rachel laughed. “So says the bathroom hog. I swear…I thought girls got over taking half-hour showers in high school.”
Maddy blinked her eyes several times, wearing her little lamb face that the girls teased her about, and said, “I like hot water. It’s cleansing.” After everyone chuckled at her, she looked at Kaylee. “Rachel says you have objections. What are they?”
Great. She was on the spot. Again. Exactly what she hadn’t wanted to have to do. She put down her fork, because as much as she loved Rachel’s cooking, she didn’t have much of an appetite anymore and didn’t see that changing after the conversation. “These guys have already heard it from me. I don’t know how my parents would feel if Blaze was living with us.”
“Even if he had his own room?” Yep, Maddy had the same counterarguments. Kaylee wondered if Rachel had already talked to her.
Oh, that was silly. Rachel and Maddy were her friends. This could be a good discussion perhaps…maybe just getting it out there for everyone would be good. “So then what? I lie to my parents about our relationship? You know they visit every summer, so it’s just a matter of time before they’re here.”
Maddy knew Kaylee’s background and often respected it, so Kaylee didn’t expect the next thing Maddy was going to say. “Girl, you are an adult now. Why do you care what your parents think?”
“I love them. And they’re paying part of my tuition too.”
“Yeah, but they also love you, right? Don’t you think they need to realize you make your own decisions now?”
“You don’t understand, Maddy. It’s not that easy.”
“Okay, fine. Then why do they even have to know you and Blaze are dating? He’s just another roommate.”
Blaze asked, “What are you saying, Maddy? Are you asking her to lie to her parents?”
“Not lie exactly…just not say anything.”
“Look, we had this same damn conversation yesterday. Rachel, I appreciate that you’re looking out for Kaylee and for me, but I’ll be fine. I always am. You know that. What’s that thing you always say?”
Rachel smiled. “You land in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like roses.”
“Yeah. It’s all in the way you look at things…and things always work out.”
Kaylee reached over and put her hand on Blaze’s. God, he was truly a find. Sweet, considerate, and looking out for her best interests even when it wouldn’t be in his own. She’d been being selfish. They were all correct on all counts. Even if she wasn’t comfortable standing up to her parents, she shouldn’t make Blaze suffer for that. “No, you know what? You guys are right. Blaze, you should be able to move in here. My parents shouldn’t factor into it at all.”
His dark eyes focused on hers then, and it almost felt like they were the only ones in the room. “No, Kaylee, because I understand what you’re saying. When I meet your parents, I want to be able to look them in the eyes and tell them I care about their daughter.”
Rachel’s voice took a higher pitch when she said, “What? Are you kidding me?” She set her fork on the plate in a way that it tinkled. “What the hell is wrong with you people?”
“Rachel, it’s not your decision. It’s mine. I have an apartment where I’ve lived for three years. I never said I wanted to move. I have a couple of friends considering taking the extra room. I’m good. I’m comfortable there. That’s not meant to be an insult to any of you, but I’ve been living there without any women for long enough that I’m quite content, and especially since Kaylee doesn’t like the idea either, you’re just going to have to find someone else.”
“You’re all insane. You know that? Crazy.” Rachel picked up her fork and scooped up some rice. “But I guess that’s not my problem.” She took a deep breath. “So who’s gonna post the flyers around campus looking for a roommate?”
Maddy said, “I can make up a few on my computer and we can all do it next week.”
Kaylee looked at her plate. She definitely had no appetite now. It was a good thing Rachel was studying prelaw, because, Kaylee thought, she’d be a hell of an attorney. She was convincing and had even brought Kaylee onboard before Blaze had changed his mind.
So…if they’d all agreed to it, why did she feel so guilty about Blaze?
Chapter Twenty-two
KAYLEE WAS ASLEEP, but Blaze hadn’t found the comfort of shuteye. He couldn’t turn his brain off. He understood why Kaylee was struggling with having him move in with them, but something about the whole thing gnawed at him.
It was something Maddy had said—about Kaylee being an adult now and needing to make her own decisions. Yeah…he had known she’d been a little frosty but then discovered that she had led a pretty sheltered life. It was endearing to him, because he’d had his share of girls who were the exact opposite—open to any and all sexual experiences, even venturing into territory that Blaze wouldn’t have tried on his own, and vocal about it. He’d been with women who had viewed sex as a communal experience, one to be shared, nurtured, revered. Kaylee, on the other hand, had come from a completely different background, one where sex wasn’t a natural thing and definitely not something that should be enjoyed or talked about. He’d seen her break out of her shell the past few months they’d been together, but, he supposed, maybe what they’d been talking about now, having him close by and a constant reminder that she was now a sexual creature, was too much for her.
It wouldn’t have bothered him so much if he hadn’t realized he loved her.
He wasn’t sure exactly when that had happened, but he did, and he thought maybe it was because of the girl she was. She had no idea how deeply it affected him when she made the choice to do certain things or grew bolder about their relationship. She had matured as a partner in such a short time.
Maybe that was what was eating at him, that her behavior with considering him as a roommate, whether they shared a room or not, seemed like regression, like she was taking several steps backward.
That was the analytical part of it.
When he got to his core, it hurt. He would never say it out loud, because outwardly he felt the need to support and encourage Kaylee. He’d seen his sister and Maddy coerce Kaylee into things in the past. Sure, he thought their motives were pure, that they too simply wanted to see Kaylee grow and be happy, but he could see what it did to his girlfriend. She was stretching, yes, but at what point would she break? Blaze wasn’t prepared to go there.
No, that knowledge of Kaylee didn’t help the raw feeling inside him, but he would get over it. He knew it wouldn’t have hurt so much if he hadn’t grown to love her as much as he did. If she’d been just another girl he’d dated for a while, it wouldn’t have bothered him one bit.
He rolled over and put his arm around Kaylee, resting his head against her hair splayed on the pillow, his lips close to her neck, his body pressed against the fabric on her back, and he tried to focus on the love he felt inside.
He’d get over it. He didn’t want this to be the thing that broke them. He had to find a way to let it go.
* * *
Kaylee had been lying in bed, quiet and not saying a word. They’d stayed up late, the four of them, and had wound up watching a movie. Blaze had pulled up one of his textbooks on his phone and was reading while the girls watched the DVD, but she could sense that everyone was pretty angry with her. Well, maybe not Blaze, but they all acted different.
And even though Blaze had spent the night, they hadn’t made love. She didn’t know if it was because he was tired or if he was upset with her, but he’d just given her a kiss and held her close.
She’d been quiet but hadn’t fallen asleep. Blaze, on the other hand, had been tossing and turning since they’d come to bed, and if he was sleepy, it was eluding him. But he’d rolled over and snuggled up close to her again. Because she hadn’t been able to shake the f
eelings of guilt, she considered talking to him about it, but part of her felt like maybe she’d wrecked things beyond repair tonight.
Feeling him up against her not quite asleep made her want to try to mend things between them, broken or not, so she rolled over, loving the feeling of his arm on her. She wished she hadn’t worn a t-shirt to bed, because then her skin would be touching his, but she supposed that wasn’t what mattered.
Kaylee brought her hand to his cheek. In the dark, she couldn’t see him, but she could feel his warmth, and her hand could feel the stubble on the lower half of his cheek until the area near his jawline where he allowed the facial hair to grow. She could see his face in her mind—his dark eyes, white teeth, full lips, all framed by dark hair. She felt tentative, but she still touched her lips to his, giving him tiny feather kisses. It was then that she felt him respond as his lips moved and his tongue met hers. She ran her hands down his chest only to grab the bottom of her t-shirt. She raised herself enough to pull it up and over her head, and his lips moved to her neck before she had the shirt completely off. She wasn’t quite sure how it happened, but suddenly they were rushing and frenzied, and she felt like a person who’d been lost in the desert, finally presented with a glass of water. It was cool and refreshing, and she couldn’t get enough.
She was overtaken by a desire she’d never felt before, a need so deep she thought she’d never be able to satisfy it. Blaze had awakened in her a sexual, primal being, one she’d never known existed, one that wanted to be touched by him, brought to the pinnacle by him every time. She trusted him, felt at home with him, and she felt like today she’d betrayed all of that, everything, and she hoped joining with him would assure him that she cared more about him than she would have ever believed possible.
He took her breast in his mouth and she let the air out of her lungs as her fingers clutched at his chest, trying to hold on for life. She had to move quickly. She had to be satisfied. She had to be full with him. She tugged on his underwear and he lifted his body to accommodate her demands. For the first time ever since she’d begun this journey with him, Kaylee felt more empowered and emboldened, and she wanted to enjoy the control she felt. She peeled her panties down, and they hung on to one of her ankles, but she sat up then and straddled his body. She’d never been on top with a guy ever, and she wanted to try it. She felt his cock, stroked its hardness, and then positioned herself over him.
Wow. That had been easier than she’d thought it would be. He’d just slid in without any effort, and it forced a tiny groan out of her mouth. She felt her pussy clench around him, enjoying the sensation. It felt different at that angle, forcing more pressure on different areas of her, and she liked it. Then the most natural thing happened—she felt her body demand that she move too, and she found the rhythm that matched his, so that when he drove into her, she drove back. It was a delicious sensation she’d never expected. Sitting there, she felt like she controlled it all, and it was amazing.
She felt his firm, strong hands on her waist, his fingers against her back as she continued meeting him thrust for thrust. Then she heard his voice. “Touch yourself, Kaylee.”
Her breathing had grown shallow and she didn’t know that she could trust her ears. “What?”
His hands slid up her sides so that his hands touched the side of her breasts. “You know, touch yourself…like I did the first night we were together.”
She knew deep down that if she hadn’t been in a sexual frenzy, her cheeks would have been blazing hot at the mere suggestion. She trusted him, though, and—more than that—she thought maybe he was onto something. Her hips were still grinding her pelvis into him, more in tune to the rhythm than her conscious brain was, but she asked, “You mean with my fingers?”
“Yeah. That would be hot.” He moved one of his hands to one of her shoulder blades, continuing to move until it rested at the center of her back, and her natural instinct was to arch forward. But she wanted to try his suggestion. She’d never tell a soul what she was about to do, and that was okay, because she knew that anything she did with Blaze in the bedroom stayed there. He hadn’t broken her confidences yet, and she knew he never would. So, as if to build her courage, she rested her right hand on her belly, feeling her breathing move her hand away and then back. But then she pointed her index finger out and began to slide down, down toward the area where they were joined, where she was taking him in, blow for blow, and she knew she was close already. He must have been too.
It was an odd sensation, as she slid her finger down the tight confines where they joined, but she found her clit. The area was damp and sticky and hot from their body heat and the friction between them. She was going to give it an honest effort, though, and she rubbed her finger on herself. It didn’t seem to do much for her, but only because she was already—
Oh, wait. Wait a fucking minute.
Yeah, okay. She felt her nipples grow hard as she drew in another breath—no, a groan actually—and she began moving her finger with purpose. Holy shit. Blaze was a fucking genius. How had he known? Soon, her finger rhythm found their body rhythm, and suddenly Kaylee felt as though her brain had tapped into some collective, universal pulse, one that drove everything on the planet, and it was then, as she had that epiphany, that her brain exploded with pleasure and her legs clenched against Blaze as she gave in to one of the fiercest, most intense orgasms she’d had in the short time she and Blaze had been together.
No, not one of them. It had to be the most intense. Hands down. And she knew it was because she was beginning to love this man beyond measure.
Chapter Twenty-three
AH, BUT HOW things change. Blaze was confused, because shortly after the whole blowout, Kaylee—for all intents and purposes—ran. Out of the blue, she told Blaze she needed time and space, that all the talk of escalating their relationship and forcing her hand had made her realize that maybe she wasn’t ready for that type of commitment.
He wanted to shake her, ask her what the fuck she was thinking. He loved her, and now she decided she couldn’t handle the pressure of it. He was fairly certain that she cared for him too, but she didn’t know how to make her own decisions, live her own life, and he didn’t know what to do about that.
He blamed himself too. Maybe if he’d professed his feelings for her, she would have changed her mind. No way, though. He didn’t ever want to feel like he’d pressured her into staying. But he couldn’t understand it. He’d never felt this strongly about a woman before, and he was afraid that not giving her the time she needed would make it worse.
The back of his mind nagged at him, telling him maybe Kaylee wasn’t worth it.
Had he seen growth from her in the time they’d spent together? Hell, yeah. In fact, he was amazed at how much she’d changed since they’d gotten together. Kaylee might have been a girl in the sexual sense when he’d first touched her, but he thought that she was now a full-fledged woman—one that made his blood boil and his cock hard. More than that, though, she was one who filled him with love to the core, and that, he thought, was damned stupid, because he didn’t know that Kaylee was in the right frame of mind to return any of it to him.
She’d given him her answer. No, she wasn’t able to do it. That was why she was running away.
He’d written her off, deciding to spend a long weekend in his apartment. He called in sick from work after stocking up on beer. Then he ordered a pizza and watched stupid movies, drinking, smoking a bowl, and eating that damned twelve-inch pie. He also planned, if he could, to get laid next week. That was the only prescription he knew for getting over a girl…and he’d never needed to get over one worse than Kaylee.
What scared him was he was afraid she would be harder to get over than any woman ever before.
But then she surprised him. She called on Monday and asked the weirdest question. “Do you have plans this Saturday?”
He hesitated. Was this a trick? “Just work that night. Why?”
She must have heard it in his voice.
“Hey. Thanks for giving me some time, Blaze. I needed that. Sorry if it was a little…weird.”
No way was he going to tell her he’d thought she’d broken up with him and just hadn’t known how to say it straight. Still…he was hesitant. He didn’t know now if they were going to make it. But no way was he going to act like a bitch. “No problem. You okay?”
“Yeah, I think so. Anyway, um…my mom and dad are going to be here on Saturday, and they want to take me out to lunch. I’d really like for you to meet them.”
That gave him hope. She might not have wanted to tell them all the nitty-gritty details of their relationship, but that she felt like he was important enough that she wanted to introduce him to her parents made him think that all the time she had to take to think about it made her realize she cared more than she’d let on.
He still felt confused and maybe unloved, but that was his own damn problem. In the meantime, he would work on making a good first impression. He could envision Kaylee in his life for a very long time—if she’d let him—and he didn’t want to blow it. Her parents didn’t have to like him, but it would help; at the very least, if they didn’t hate him, he would, in a sense, have their blessings to be with Kaylee.
Her parents were due to arrive sometime late Saturday morning, so Kaylee asked Blaze to come over sometime before that. She never said it, but he figured out that she didn’t want him spending the night the night before. Again, he understood. He knew that she didn’t want to have to explain their relationship to her parents. Part of him felt like Maddy, wondering if or when she would tell her parents it was her choice as an adult, but he also knew Kaylee well enough to know that would probably be too much for her. That was okay. He’d support her. He only hoped they could somehow get back to the way they’d been before Rachel had pressed the issue.
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