Someone Else's Dream

by Colin Griffiths

  15. Goodnight Sweetheart.

  The lure of seeing him once more was just too much, she had tried to play it cool, pretending she had deadlines to reach and agents to satisfy. The truth was she had none of that. Carla Reid was now a self-publisher, and though a very successful one in the world of self-publishing, she had no one to answer to, other than maybe the fans who were eagerly waiting the third part of her successful trilogy, where it would be determined whether charlotte lived or died. Matt Conner had given her a new lease of life; he had opened up avenues that she didn’t know was there, brought down barriers that she thought was impossible to break. She had spent the previous night with her friend Donna, telling her all about him and thanking her for help turning her into the person she was. They did get emotional, promising to be there for each other whenever they were needed, that of course went without question for both girls. They stopped the night together, sharing the same bed that friends do without there being any passion involved, despite for both girls for different reasons wishing that it could somehow happen. Donna because her sexual attraction towards Carla was beyond recourse and she would always yearn for. Carla wanting to somehow repaying her friend for the once in a life time feeling of ecstasy that she had given her. She wanted her friend to feel the delights that she had that evening they made love, but it had to be a one off now and in a way she regretted that. It was only through that evening that allowed her to be the woman she wanted to be, being made to feel so beautiful and sexy through Donna had made her realise she actually could be. It was with Donna’s full blessing that she would leave for Doncaster at 9am to embark on a beautiful journey of love and laughter. Carla had no dreams that night as she could barely sleep, she found herself constantly looking at the alarm, and she was on the road to Doncaster by 8.15.

  Smithy and Marcia enjoyed an evening meal at an Indian restaurant in Doncaster centre, before moving onto a wine bar for drinks. When they got back to Marcia’s apartment, they enjoyed each other’s bodies once more before sleeping. They never spoke about Matt Conner again until the morning, nothing had changed, she knew going to Porthcawl would offer no permanent safe haven, but at the least it would give her some thinking time, and at least she would be able to spend some more time with Smithy. Darren was there when they got back from there tedious train journey to Porthcawl, he was looking the worse for wear after a night on the booze. Smithy had told Marcia all about Darren and his one-time relationship with Carla. Marcia was surprised when she met him, after hearing all about Carla and Darren she was expecting someone burlier, not the boy she eventually met. Darren had not gone over to his parents’ house, he had missed work, choosing instead to stay on the beach by the rocks watching Carla Reid, always with a broken heart and a bottle of thunderbirds. He had seen her leave at 8.15 that Saturday morning. He walked into the town, waited until it was time to serve alcohol in the shops, he bought another bottle of thunderbirds and drank it as a late breakfast, before falling to asleep. Waking up in the early evening, just before Marcia and Smithy returned. He was pleased to see his mate Smithy again; missing that shoulder to cry on. He was not so pleased to see Marcia. He needed Smithy to himself to help mend his broken heart.

  * * *

  Crazy Cavan was at Hayleigh’s house within 90 minutes of the phone call he received asking him to come. He arrived alone in a ford focus. Leaving it parked on the road; should Matt pass, as seeing a car in the drive might provoke him even further. The large leather clad biker driving a ford focus arrived freshly groomed and with a holdall. When Hayleigh answered the door to him she was surprised how pleased she was to actually see him and his boyish style. He held up his holdall,

  “Brought some stuff, didn’t know how long you wanted me for,” he had told Hayleigh; that had made her giggle. She told Cavan why she wanted him there and what Matt had done. It made Cavan feel needed and wanted, and at that time would have done anything for the beautiful woman, despite the fear he held for her ex-husband. The man who could decapitate a human being just as a warning; to Cavan it sounded as if Matt had lost it completely. He knew he would have to be at his best if he came face to face with Matt.

  They ordered a Chinese and drunk red wine, as Cavan told Hayleigh all about his seedy and strange life; she laughed out loud when he told he had never owned a bike, despite the leather clothing he adorned with badges that a typical biker would wear. Hayleigh found him funny and charming and warmed to him. He had fallen asleep on the sofa; having drunk too much red wine, it wasn’t a drink he was used too and it had gone to his head quickly. Hayleigh had covered him with a blanket and left him there, despite having bedrooms he could have slept in. she took herself off to bed with a glass of red, kind of wishing that the overweight biker without a bike was to lie beside her. She slept easily and safely, waking up in the morning with the smell of bacon cooking. She grabbed herself a dressing gown and went down to the kitchen, where Cavan was stood at the cooker.

  “Done ya a cooked breakfast babe, coffee in the pot.” He had told her.

  Just the man I need, Hayleigh told herself.

  * * *

  Carla had reached Monmouth before she felt the need to stop to use the toilet and grab a coffee. It had been a steady drive; when she left it was glorious sunshine, but it had clouded over, however, it still remained dry and warm. She had sung along to the radio until she kept losing the station. She had changed the radio station to a ‘Kings of Leon’ cd, followed by ‘Mumford & Sons’ she still sang along to the songs that she knew so well. She sat at the small ‘Little Chef’ drinking a latte and eating a cheese salad sandwich, she had made good time, there was no real heavy traffic; and what traffic there was appeared to be flowing well. She text Matt telling him where she was and that her sat nav had told her that she was less than three hours away. He had replied with the enthusiasm as a child at Christmas, which brought a smile to her face. She freshened herself up in the wash room before setting off. Hoping she wouldn’t find the need to stop again. She longed to see the smiling face of the man she was falling for.

  As ‘The Killers ‘played on the cd, she tried to remember if she had ever felt like this before; someone that she was so sexual attracted to that she dreamt of making love with them. Someone she just wanted to spend time with and make them happy. As she thought she could think of no man that had ever made her feel like that; her mind grew a little confused as she realised she had felt those feelings before. Donna!!! She recalled. She had given her the same feelings and at the time they were reciprocated. It was just an experiment, she told herself, a very successful experiment. She started to feel guilty, but she wasn’t sure who the guilt was aimed at.

  She stopped at a services just an hour away from Doncaster; not only did she need petrol, she needed to use the bathroom and fuel her caffeine habit. She texted both Matt and Donna whilst she was there. She was getting nervous, she needed that caffeine. 30 minutes later she was on her way again, her sat nav told her she was an hour away. Her body tingled at the thought of it, her heart pounded as she drove towards the man of her dreams.

  Matt Conner woke up that Saturday morning a completely different man that went to bed the night before. His tortured mind hidden inside him; he went about the household chores with vigour. Polishing and cleaning the house, changing the linen on the beds. He mowed the lawns and tended to his beautiful gardens. He went down into his basement which he had very rarely used, using the spiral staircase from the kitchen. He unlocked the door at the bottom and immediately felt the stale stench, he hoovered and refreshed the old carpet of the cellar that had one time been used as a cinema room. He scrubbed the old ikea sofa, the only piece of furniture that adorned the room. He turned off the single light, leaving the cellar in darkness. He rushed up his staircase, so not to glance at the pictures of his daughter on the walls. He showered and trimmed his beard, dressing in the recent bought designer gear that he had purchased. All he had to do now was wait until his new love arrived. To pass the time he loaded his comput
er up and re-wrote some more of his novel ‘The Stalker’. He thought Carla would love it.

  Carla drove into Hatfield with the nervousness of a school girl on their first school outing. Her sat nav told her she was less than 2 miles from the High Street where Matt lived. She had butterflies in her stomach and a pent up feeling of walking into the unknown. The B&B that she had booked herself into, to her surprise appeared to be just a few hundred yards from where Matt lived. She checked herself in, the room was very basic with a small en-suite, but she felt it would be comfortable enough for one night. She freshened up and started walking down the high street. She saw the bluebell pub that Matt had mentioned to her during their chats. She didn’t want a drink, she needed air, she wanted to refresh her perfume and compose herself, even though she had done it minutes earlier in her room. She walked further onto the High Street, she looked down the road knowing that a hundred yards away was the home of her new lover. She noticed a quaint coffee shop just yards from where she stood, she went in and ordered a cappuccino and sat down. She took a deep breath, got out her phone and texted Matt. ‘I’m at the coffee shop just by your house xxx’ her hands shook as she drunk her coffee. The thought of meeting his daughter made her tremble, what if she don’t like me. She had no answer to that one particular thought, she just hoped she would. Her new adventure had begun.

  Matt had been unable to continue writing as the time got closer to Carla’s arrival. He just sat on the sofa with his mobile in his hand. He had wanted to text her but didn’t want to distract her from her driving, and in any case she wouldn’t have been able to text back, and that would surely annoy him. As well as jumping, his eyes lit up when he received Carla’s text. He rushed out of his home onto the high street. He fast paced it to the coffee shop, took a deep breath and walked in. she was there and his heart fluttered as he sat opposite her, after giving her a kiss on her cheek.

  “Standard coffee please,” he shouted to the waitress who acknowledged him with the thumbs up, from across the table he took Carla’s both hands in his, she caressed his fingers,

  “Where’s Aimee? She asked curiously, Matt gripped her hands tightly,

  “It’s so nice to see you again, I’ve been waiting for this moment all day.” he replied, ignoring her question completely, the waitress brought his coffee over and Matt paid her.

  “I’ve been a nervous wreck,” she giggled, before adding, “so where’s your daughter? I’ve been dying to meet her,

  Fucking bitch, why has she got to ask, aint I good enough? Said the voice in his head,

  “She’s still at her mothers, she’s coming along later. He could see the disappointment on Carla’s face. Carla was disappointed, she had high hopes for this man and it was important for her to meet his daughter, she didn’t want to fall in love with him and then have to call it off because of a disapproving child. She needed that reassurance and she needed it quickly, it was a few moments before she realised what Matt had said.

  “Mother?” she questioned him as her heart went into her mouth, she noticed the look of dismay on his face. Matt was quick to the mark.

  “Grandmother, my mother,” he said, Carla felt silly at her own mistake, and wanted to change the subject quickly.

  “Right then are you going to show me where you live?” She suggested, they both smiled and walked hand in hand towards his house. Matt walked with the demons in his head, just thinking which way it was, My wife is dead, my daughter is alive, my wife is dead my daughter is alive, my wife is dead my daughter is alive, Hayleigh’s alive, Aimee’s dead. He wanted to scream, but he thought he would be okay, when he got to his house.

  She noticed and was impressed by the lovingly tendered gardens and the Lexus parked on the drive. Carla felt the butterflies as Matt opened the side doors to the kitchen and gestured for her to go in, she did as implied, it was a large kitchen and dining area and was impressed to how clean and tidy it looked. Matt again gestured for her to walk into the living room,

  “Go on through, I’ll make us some coffee,” he suggested to her, she walked into the room, it was smaller than she imagined, but cosy nevertheless, she stood there looking at the books on the bookcase, there were a few traditional and famous authors, followed by encyclopaedia’s and reference book, she noticed a couple of cook books and books on gardening, there was a collection of Marvel books, who’s spines when put together showed a collection of superhero’s. Then she noticed her own book on the bottom shelf, she smiled to herself, secretly wishing he had put it next to his Stephen King books. She glanced in the corner and saw his desk, there was a printed manuscript next to it and she realised that she had never actually seen his creation of a novel. She felt a bit guilty and picked up the manuscript and sat on the sofa, she thought now was the time she familiarised herself with at least the first chapter. Perhaps we could read it together, she smiles.

  “Matt walked in with the two cups of coffee to be faced with Carla sat on the sofa with his manuscript, Carla noticed the look of shock on his face as he dumped the coffee’s down on the table and snatched the manuscript off her,

  “You can’t read that!” he said abruptly, and put it inside the desk cupboard. Carla was momentarily startled by his actions,

  “I just thought you could read the first chapter with me,” she nervously said. “I didn’t mean to pry,”

  “No!” he demanded, then saw the look of grief on Carla’s face, he softened his voice, “I would like you to read it when it’s finished.” Carla was taken aback by the strong reactions, and momentarily thought that everything was happening to soon. Then she remembered how protective she was about her own novel, frightened to let people read it in case they told her how poor it was. She put his reaction down to nothing more than that.

  “Shall I take you into Doncaster for something nice to eat,” he suggested to her, reverting back to a more passionate tone in his voice,

  “That would be lovely,” Carla replied enthusiastically, “I need to use your loo and pop back to mine to change into something fresh, I won’t be too long,”

  “Top of the stairs on the right.” He told her.

  She made her way up the stairs, noticing and looking at the photos on the wall of Aimee when she was a young baby to an older girl of about three, she was curious as to why there was no pictures of a six year old, and looked around the top landing looking for some, she used the wash room and made her way down the stairs, Matt was in the kitchen holding his keys.

  “Lovely pictures of Aimee, have you any recent ones?” Carla asked him,

  “Come on I’ve booked us a table at the best Italian in Doncaster, you will love it.” Matt replied, completely ignoring the question. “Just had a call Aimee stopping at her grandparents tonight,” he quickly added. They got into the Lexus, Carla still wondering why things still seemed a bit suspicious regarding his daughter, and she still pondered whether it was a good idea to be there at all. Matt drove straight past the B&B where Carla wanted to stop and change her clothing and freshen up, he told her there was no time as he had made a reservation at the restaurant. It made Carla nervous, not in so much that she really did need to freshen up, but nervous of the controlling nature that Matt was occasionally showing. It was like ‘being on his own turf’ made him a completely different man to the one in Porthcawl. She had also noticed a slight edginess about him. Hers fears were slowly being doused as they ate a lovely meal together and chatted non-stop. They went on to a bar and spent time sharing a bottle of wine, whilst listening to the local band, Matt diluting his with soda water, They had their first ever slow danced when the music slowed and the small dance floor filled with people. They kissed on the dance floor, Carla’s inhibitions down once more as she got sucked into Matt’s world, despite some nagging doubt.

  It was 10pm when they drove back into Hatfield, Carla asking Matt, to drop her off at the B&B, explaining to him that she was tired and needed an early night. She also told him that she would catch up with him in the morning. He seemed okay ab
out it at the time and they had agreed that he pick her up for breakfast in the morning. Carla indeed was tired, she also needed some time for reflection. She wanted to phone Donna, It was a strange few hours with the man she had fallen for. She hoped it was just nerves as she took on the adventure.

  Matt was feeling buoyant and still falling in love, as he drove he was wishing that every day he would feel the same. All was fine until Matt saw the sign for Hatfield, then a thousand memories hit him at once. He had no control over the thoughts that were inside his head, for it was the thoughts and the memories that now controlled him. He knew he was not in a good place at that time. He hoped it would pass, or at least Carla would realise it wasn’t the real him.