by Anya Byrne
The command in the other man's voice resonated against that part of Jessie that he'd never been able to truly abandon. He hadn't even realized that they hadn't introduced each other. "Jessie," he immediately replied.
"Well, Jessie, tonight you are mine. You will call me Master Andreas. You will not come until I tell you to. Your pleasure is mine and mine alone. Is that understood?"
A feeling of complete rightness flowed over Jessie as he replied, "Yes, Master Andreas."
The Dom nodded in appreciation to Jessie's words. "Now, pretty, pick a safe word."
Jessie scrutinized his mind for anything that would fit, but for some reason, in spite of his extensive vocabulary, he simply couldn't come up with anything. A safe word meant something. It was so easy to ignore it, but between a Dom and his sub, it carried the weight of all the trust in the relationship.
But that was why he'd come here to begin with, to learn how to trust again, to cast away the loneliness in his heart. After a few moments of hesitation, he finally said, "Whatever."
Master Andreas's full lips twisted into an amused smirk, but then his eyes filled with a knowledge that should have made Jessie feel uncomfortable. It was a strange moment of companionship and togetherness in the middle of a scene where the balance of power lay so completely in Master Andreas's hands. Had he noticed Jessie's vacillation? Did he realize why Jessie had chosen that word to begin with? A word that could be or mean anything, but never really have its own meaning. A word that could become Jessie's haven, or his hell. Did Master Andreas see things the way Jessie did?
Jessie didn't know the answer to that, and he really didn't want to think about what made him question every single thing he did tonight. So he focused on Master Andreas's face, on his strong body, on the tone of his voice as he said, "All right, pretty. Lower my zipper."
Jessie didn't wait to be told twice. He leaned over Master Andreas, his hands shaking as he complied with the Dom's command. He pulled the zipper down slowly, already awaiting further instructions. His Dom's cock sprung out of the leather pants, impossibly hard and already leaking copious amounts of precum. Jessie's mouth watered to taste and his anus clenched around empty air as he imagined taking that magnificent dick inside him. God, it was easily twelve inches long, the kind of dick Jessie had only ever seen on porn stars. He'd wondered if such members could truly exist on normal people. Apparently, the answer was yes, and Jessie couldn't wait to feel the thick shaft spearing him, fucking him hard and fast.
And shit, he didn't remember ever being so taken with someone, not even with... But no, he wouldn't think about the asshole. He'd come here to make his peace with his past, but he wouldn't let it cloud his present. His heart told him that he could trust Master Andreas, and no matter how afraid he might have been to put himself in the hands of someone else again, he wanted what the Dom offered.
Was it odd that in spite of the darkness in the auditorium, Jessie had never seen more clearly? Maybe. But the moment when Master Andreas smiled down at him came to him with such clarity that Jessie could have wept. And then, the Dom finally whispered, "Take it into your mouth," and it was like a switch went off in Jessie's brain. He dove in for his prize, greedily swallowing down Master Andreas's prick. The Dom didn't make a noise, but his breath caught, and Jessie took it as encouragement. He moaned around the other man's cock, taking as much of the magnificent member as he could, the taste of Master Andreas's precum like manna from the heavens.
"That's it," the Dom said. "Suck it. Slowly. Don't rush. Keep your hands out of it."
Jessie followed every last one of the other man's commands. He became an instrument of Master Andreas's lust, sucking lightly on the cock in his mouth. His hands itched to touch and grip the base of his Dom's prick, but he'd been explicitly told not to do that. And okay, maybe he also wanted to touch himself. His prick throbbed between his legs, begging for some release. But Master Andreas had said from the very beginning that Jessie's pleasure belonged to him, and Jessie had every intention to obey his Dom.
He closed his eyes in rapture as Master Andreas's heavy hand landed in his hair, guiding him along. There was something so impossibly comforting about belonging to someone else, and belonging with him. Those were two different things, as Jessie had learned the hard way, but right then and there, Jessie felt he and his Dom could have it all.
His rational side might have screamed at him, pointed out that he was crazy, but the submissive inside Jessie knew what he needed and what he craved—and it was Master Andreas. As he bobbed his head up and down the Dom's dick, he couldn't even wonder why this felt so right. It just did, and that was what mattered, this feeling of absolute freedom that Jessie had tried to find all his life and hadn't experienced since... Well, he'd never experienced it at all, really. He just wanted to pleasure Andreas. That was the only thing that mattered to him.
Jessie released a moan of distress when Master Andreas pulled his cock from his mouth, but the Dom didn't hold it against him. He got up, tucked his cock back into his pants, and then extended his hand to Jessie. Jessie took it and got up on shaky legs. He was naked and barefoot in an auditorium filled with strangers who were all staring at him. It seemed like a scenario from his worst nightmares. He was afraid, but for some reason, when he held onto his Dom's hand, he felt safe. The past didn't rule him anymore.
The three men on the bed were still going at it, but Jessie didn't care anymore. He only had eyes for Master Andreas. His Dom brushed his lips over Jessie's forehead and said, "It's all right, pretty," he said. "I'm here with you, and you belong to me. Remember that always."
Jessie met the Dom's eyes, his heart beating a million miles an hour. "Yes, Master Andreas."
"You see them all. They're looking at you. They all want you, and they're just thinking about how beautiful you are and how much they want to fuck you. But they can't do that. Because you're mine. Isn't that right, Jessie?"
It was the first time Master Andreas had used his actual name, and maybe that was why it felt the question had extra meaning. Whatever the case, Jessie nodded eagerly. "Yes, Master Andreas."
He kind of sounded like a broken record by now, but that was the answer his Dom seemed to expect of him. Picking him up, Master Andreas carried him out of the auditorium. Jessie had a brief moment when he wondered what would happen to his clothes. Then, he asked himself why they were leaving. Had Jessie done something wrong?
Thankfully, Master Andreas proceeded to explain, wiping away Jessie's uncertainties. "I want you all to myself tonight," the Dom said. "You're too beautiful for anyone else to appreciate."
Jessie relaxed in the other man's arms, settling his head on Master Andreas's shoulder. He hadn't felt beautiful in a long time, but now, something new, shy and warm was building up in his heart. He didn't dare to prod it too much—it was so different from what he'd experienced the last time he'd ventured into the lifestyle. He just went with what his soul was telling him and put his faith in Master Andreas.
The other man carried him into a room a few corridors away from the auditorium. It was quieter here, although some moans still echoed from other nearby chambers. The Dom set him on a bed so big it could have filled Jessie's entire bedroom. He stepped back and scanned Jessie from head to toe. Jessie wondered what Master Andreas was thinking, what he had in mind for the rest of tonight. It could be anything, really. With the corner of his eye, Jessie caught sight of an assortment of toys waiting to be used on nearby tables. There were dildos, butt plugs, anal beads, and of course, whips, paddles, bondage cuffs, blindfolds, everything Jessie had once known and unsuccessfully tried to leave behind. He wanted it all tonight, wanted to feel the bite of the whip, the burn of a spanking. But the sight of the restraints scared him. And it scared him even more that the Dom went straight for the cuffs.
His breath started to come in ragged pants. If Master Andreas noticed, he made no note of it. He just carried the restraints to the bed and reached for Jessie's wrists. Instinctively, Jessie reeled back, curling a
way from the Dom.
Master Andreas joined him on the bed and cupped his cheek. "Shh. Trust me."
Jessie breathed through the panic and focused on the other man's voice. He stared at the leather bindings in Master Andreas's hand, and back at the Dom's face. There were so many things he'd have liked to tell Master Andreas, but he couldn't make his vocal cords work.
"Do you want to say your safe word?" the Dom asked softly.
Whatever. It would be so easy. His brain and his voice would muster that much. A few syllables, and the scene would be over. Master Andreas would stop.
Yes, the Dom would stop. Jessie trusted him to do that. He knew that much. Master Andreas wouldn't hurt him. Then why was it so hard to accept it, to open himself to what he wanted? He had loved the weight of the leather cuffs around his wrists once. Why couldn't he embrace that again?
Master Andreas sighed heavily and set the restraints aside. "I want you to be perfectly honest with me, Jessie," he said. "You're scared of being bound, and you're scared of being shared. I can see that much, so clearly. Someone else hurt you in the past, right?"
"Yes," Jessie answered, knowing he was slipping out of the role, but unable to help himself. He'd told himself he wouldn't do this, that he could surpass his past, but here he was, letting it ruin his life all over again. "It was my first Dom. I... It's a really long story."
The Dom sat down on the edge of the bed and smiled at him. "That's fine. We have time. Do you want to tell me about it?"
Jessie didn't really want to relive the whole debacle, but it seemed that he had no way of exorcising it otherwise. He'd never even told anyone. He'd been so ashamed and so confused, so afraid that Jake would come after him.
Jake. He hadn't dared to say that name in years. The name's owner had always followed him in his nightmares, in the shape of a fanged, clawed beast that somehow always managed to strip Jessie of his dignity and his emotions.
Master Andreas took Jessie's hand and squeezed it tightly. "Jessie?"
That was when Jessie understood. The other man was saying his name whenever they stepped out of their roles—when they weren't Dom and sub, just two people who, for some reason, were inexorably drawn to each other, just Andreas and Jessie.
As that knowledge penetrated Jessie's consciousness, he closed his eyes and started to speak, confessing to Andreas what he hadn't told to anyone—not even to his father or Gavin. "It all happened ten years ago. I'd been home-schooled on my life, and I was in my first years of college, learning what it was like to be with other people. When I met him, I thought he was the one. But it didn't work out that way…
Chapter Two
A few years before
Jessie sat on his knees in front of his Dom, warily eyeing the crowd. He didn't like this party. He and Jake had been to a lot of events that catered to the BDSM community, but tonight, there was a different feel in the air, something that made Jessie uncomfortable and just a little bit apprehensive.
He took a deep breath and leaned against Jake's leg. It was okay. His Dom would protect him. Jake loved him and had always been there for him. He'd be just fine.
Jake nudged Jessie with his foot, and Jessie finally remembered himself. Damn it. He'd forgotten. He needed to keep the perfect stance when they were in public. In private, Jake might turn a blind eye to Jessie's failings as a sub—he was amazing that way—but when they were out, Jessie needed to be on his best behavior.
Jessie straightened his back and forced a serene smile onto his face. If he wanted to be perfectly honest, he didn't like the position, especially since the owners of this particular location seemed enamored with cold and hard marble flooring. But he wouldn't fail his Dom. That was the most important thing in the world.
As Jessie repeated that litany to himself in his mind, another Dom approached, a sub following behind him, completely naked. The Dom didn't acknowledge Jessie in any way, but that didn't surprise Jessie. "Hey, Jake," the strange Dom said. "Long time no see."
"Damn, Clint, it's been what... two years?" Jake chuckled. "How have you been?"
Clint plopped down on the couch next to Jake, while his sub sat on the floor, just like Jessie. "You know me. Same old, same old. Lots of traveling, lots of business."
"Well, you know what they say. All work and no play makes Clint a dull boy."
Clint snorted. "I assure you, I get plenty of play." He gripped his submissive's jet black hair and forced his face into his crotch. "Come on, my pet. Show Jake what you've got."
Obediently, the sub lowered Clint's zipper with his teeth and started sucking the other man's dick. Jessie watched it all through the corner of his eye, all the while struggling to keep his stance perfectly straight. With Jake's friend here, it was all the more important for Jessie not to fuck this up.
The slurping and sucking seemed to last forever, but at last, the other Dom's body shook as he came. Jake applauded. "Very nice. But I think he has nothing on my Jessie."
Jake got up and gestured for Jessie to follow him. Jessie obediently followed, so proud that Jake had praised him in front of his friend. When Jake led him to a St. Andrew's cross in the center of the club, Jessie thought nothing of it. It wasn't something they did on a regular basis, but Jessie had a voyeuristic streak, so he liked watching and being watched sometimes.
A mix of peace and anticipation filled him as his Dom bound him to the X-cross. He was positioned with his front against the cross, which meant that his back and ass were exposed to his Dom. The strong padded cuffs kept him immobilized, and the paradoxical freedom that he always found in this lack of mobility destroyed any misgivings and discomfort he might have had about tonight.
He waited eagerly for the first blow to come, but it never did. Clint walked in front of him, humming in obvious admiration. "He's certainly very beautiful."
The hilt of Jake's whip ran over Jessie's spine, making him shiver. "Indeed. Tell you what. An idea occurred to me just now. How about I trade you? My sub for yours."
Jessie's blood froze in his veins. He tried to tell himself that he'd heard wrong. Jake would never say that. They were more than Dom and sub. They loved each other, and were faithful and exclusive to each other. This had to be some sort of peculiar nightmare.
"You have a deal," Clint said, oblivious to Jessie's incipient panic attack. "I can't wait to fuck that little ass of his."
Jake laughed. "I'm sure I'll have just as much fun with your sub."
A male hand landed on Jessie's back, trailed over his sides, until it reached his naked ass. It wasn't Jake's hand, and Jake didn't stop it. Jessie had had enough. "Vitamin," he croaked out.
"What did you say, Jessie?" his Dom asked from behind him.
"Vitamin," Jessie repeated, louder. It was his safe word. His Dom had to let him go now. He'd apologize, and they'd go home. Jessie would give Jake a piece of his mind and make it clear that, even if he was a sub, he refused to be passed around like a piece of meat. They'd argue, but eventually, they'd kiss and make up.
"Is that his safe word?" Clint inquired, removing his hand off Jessie's body.
"Don't worry about it," Jake said. "We have a deal, don't we?"
Clint chuckled and he stepped closer to Jessie, rubbing against him. Even through the material of the other man's pants, Jessie could feel his already erect dick. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.
"Jake!" he shouted. "Let me out. I don't want this. Vitamin!"
By now, Jessie was sure everyone at the party had to be staring, but no one intervened. Jack stepped up in front of the X-cross, scowling fiercely. "Jessie, stop being such a drama queen. You're embarrassing me."
"I don't want this, Jake," Jessie insisted, giving his Dom a pleading look. "Just let me go."
"When are you going to learn? I'm your Dom and you're my sub. That means you do what I say, whether you like it or not."
Just like that, Jake left him there, trapped on the cross. He took Clint's sub and forced him on all fours in front of the X-cross. The
submissive didn't utter a single word as Jake unzipped his pants, spat in his palm and slicked up his dick with saliva.
It was all surreal. As he watched Jake thrust into the other sub, Jessie heard the sound of a zipper being lowered behind him. "Don't worry," Clint whispered in his ear. "This will hurt you so good."
Something inside Jessie snapped. He began to struggle, trying to free himself from the cuffs. Against all odds, it worked. Suddenly, his hands were free and he stumbled away from the X-cross, confused and dazed. Jake tried to reach for him, but Jessie pushed him away. Feeling more frightened than he ever had in his life, Jessie turned on his heel and fled.
****
"I got lucky," Jessie said as he finished the story. "I think the cuffs were faulty or something. To this day, I don't really remember the details of what happened after that. I got home somehow, and I begged my Dad to move. We packed up and sold everything, and we moved here. I transferred to another university. I never saw Jake again. I vowed to leave the lifestyle behind, and I haven't been in any relationship since. I came here today to try to face that, but it looks like I failed."
He stared at his hands, embarrassed at his own weakness, frustrated with the fact that he'd failed at pleasing the man who could have become his master. Doubtlessly, Andreas wouldn't want to have anything to do with him now. No one needed a broken sub with so much baggage he himself couldn't lug it around.
Much to his surprise, though, Andreas gripped his chin and forced their eyes to meet. "Jessie, listen to me very carefully. That man you were with wasn't a real Dom. He was an abusive asshole who didn't truly understand the lifestyle. What he tried to do to you was despicable and a crime. Contrary to what he might have said to you, what we share together isn't solely about the Dom's desires, but about mutual consent and mutual pleasure. You didn't fail in anything. You're a very brave, very beautiful young man, and I'm honored that you chose to trust me, in spite of everything that happened to you."
Andreas kissed Jessie's hands, and just like that, Jessie's tears dried. "I do trust you," he admitted. "I don't know why, but I feel like I've known you forever."