“Why not? Not upscale enough for you?”
He turned to me, maybe to see if I was kidding. With a long sideways glance, I slid the flowers onto the mantle and moved toward him. Looking up at his ruggedly handsome face in the mood lighting, I couldn’t contain my need to touch him.
“Where were we?” I asked, pulling him to me by his front belt loop.
His movements were stilted, at first, like he was trying to buy some time to figure out an exit strategy. Then as if in slow motion his mouth dropped to my neck and the way his stubble scratched against my flesh made me shudder. “We were about to make a huge mistake.”
“What makes you say that?” I sighed as my fingers gripped his hair as if they had a mind of their own.
He nipped my earlobe as his fingers skimmed along my outer thighs, lifting the hem of my dress a few inches before dropping it again. When he whispered in my ear, I broke out in gooseflesh. “I’m not the kind of guy you’re looking for. I don’t date.”
“What a coincidence. Neither do I. Guess that makes you exactly the kind of guy I’m looking for.” His wet lips continued to toy with me and I could feel my knees threatening to buckle. Then his mouth was on mine and our ferocious kisses made me dizzy. Before I was aware it was happening, he lowered me onto the couch. The delicious weight of him against me was practically unbearable and my hands roamed his firm body, frustrated at the layers of clothing between us. Demandingly, I reached between his legs. Years of pent up frustration were boiling over inside me. The massive bulge I found waiting for me exceeded my wildest expectations.
He pulled his lips from mine and pushed back from me slightly. I was so frustrated I nearly cried out in alarm. By the faint light of the lamp, his intense green gaze locked on me. “This’ll only be a one-time thing. If you’re smart you’ll ask me to go. Now.”
“No one ever accused me of being smart.” I purred. He exhaled slowly, and his thumb caressed my bottom lip. I nipped at it playfully, trying my best to maintain some control over him…since I’d lost all control of myself.
“Molly.” My name had never sounded so fucking good.
“Yeah, Joe?” I reached out for the top button of his shirt and I could feel his heart pounding as I struggled to undo it.
“Don’t ask me to go.”
I ROLLED OVER and stretched lazily. My bed was never this comfortable, and it had been years since I’d woke up feeling so well rested. I felt no trace of hangover, as if I’d slept for days. The scent of coffee and bacon reached me, and it smelled heavenly. For a moment before I opened my eyes, I wondered if I was having a dream within a dream.
Then flashes of the night before jolted through me, and my eyes popped open. I stared up at the gauzy canopy of Molly’s bed and realized just how much trouble I’d gotten myself into. We’d more than crossed the line. We’d pole-vaulted over it three times. Okay…maybe four.
I pushed myself up and looked around. I was alone in the tangled bed sheets, but I spotted Molly’s white dress crumpled up on the floor. I recalled peeling it off of her in vivid detail. To my surprise, her beautiful body had only one hidden piercing in addition to those of her nose and ears. It sparkled right above her naval, and I got to inspect the tiny diamond up close while my tongue busily played between her creamy thighs.
I scrubbed my face with my hands as if by this single act I had a shot at erasing the intensity of those moments. I stood and grabbed my pants from their spot by the chest at the foot of her bed. I did a double take at the hope chest and remembering how hard Mason had worked to construct it as his sophomore project, I cringed.
After hunting for another minute, I found my shirt across the room on her side of the bed and headed into her en suite bathroom. Her Bing cherry shower curtain served as a sobering reminder that we’d ended up in there at one point. Memories of soaping her nipples and the sounds she made when she came rocked me. Remembering how easily she’d inspired me to perform and just how much I loved to hear her moan scared the hell out of me. All her intense eye contact during sex was a bit overwhelming. More concerning was the realization that I liked it. Somehow I felt all turned around. Feeling anything at all was unheard of, and I knew I had to get out there A.S.A.F.P.
My sleepy brain finally connected all the dots, recognizing that she had to be in the kitchen. I jumped into the shower to try to wash off the dirty feeling I got when I realized I had to look her brothers in the face every freaking work day from now until hell froze over. I was glad I didn’t have any plans today. Doing more than making my escape would have been out of the question. The clock on the wall explained why I felt so well rested-it was eleven a.m. I grabbed a shampoo bottle and squirted some into my hand. As I lathered it into my hair, the scent of orange hit me, and I realized I was going to smell just like Molly. I would need to shower again when I got home because the constant reminder would be too much to take all damn day. For now there was nothing for it; I was already covered in the stuff.
I dried off in a hurry and tossed on my discarded clothes. Glancing down, I saw I had a huge smudge on the front of my shirt from Molly’s lemon glaze the night before. Just the thought of that first kiss had me reciting a litany of morbid topics to keep from getting an erection. Things were complicated enough without adding that to the mix.
As I gripped the door handle, I stopped and tried to gather the remaining shards of my dignity for this particularly difficult walk of shame. I realized how idiotic I was acting and almost chuckled. I’d warned her. She wasn’t jailbait anymore. Molly was a consenting adult and I had zero doubts that last night’s pleasure had been all mine.
I headed straight for the door, trying to ignore the aromatic seduction emanating from her kitchen and the cool old school music playing on the radio. I heard her humming along and realized there was no way I could leave without saying something to her. I stopped with my hand on the doorknob and sighed.
When I rounded the corner into the kitchen, she was standing at the counter stirring sugar into her coffee. No longer disheveled and wild, she’d obviously run a brush though her shiny dark hair. She wore a pale blue satin robe that matched her eyes perfectly. Her freshly scrubbed face made her look younger. She looked up from her coffee and gave me a bashful smile.
“Morning Joe.” Her voice had a slightly flirty lilt, and when she blew on her coffee it brought back some particularly pleasant memories.
“Hi.” I dragged the word out like a man with bad news. I folded my arms and leaned against the counter closest to the door in case I needed to make a hasty retreat.
“You sound like you could use some coffee.” She pressed a button on one of her kitchen gadgets and coffee shot into a to-go cup.
“Thanks.” I paused, looking at the worn wood planks of her kitchen floor. “Listen, about last night…”
“What about it?” She flipped the page of her magazine nonchalantly and I felt even more like a moron.
“You’re not going to say anything to the guys, are you?” I forced myself to look her in the eye. She froze mid page flip and looked at me as if she was about to laugh in my face. She closed the magazine and moved toward me.
“Gosh, I don’t know. It’s so tempting.” She mused, her eye narrowing ever so slightly. “Hell, maybe I should call a family meeting. Invite Granny H. Exactly which part of last night would you like me to share first?”
I nodded slowly, the enormity of my ridiculousness weighing me down. “Point taken.”
“Muffin?” She offered an overcrowded plate to me and I shook my head.
“I’d better not…”
She huffed with a condescending eye roll. Then she picked up a muffin and tossed it at me. I fumbled a second and managed an awkward save. “It’s a muffin Joe, not a pre-nup.”
“Fair enough.” I took a bite. It had bacon in it. Best muffin ever. I tried not to let it show. “I had fun.”
She studied my face as if we were playing Texas Hold ‘em.
“Yeah, it seemed like it.” She dea
dpanned, and sipped her coffee once more.
I took another muffin from the plate and when I turned back she handed me the to-go cup as if reading my mind. “I really do have to go.”
“Of course you do.” She crossed to the kitchen table and picked up my keys, tossing them to me. I was ready for her this time, and snatched them out of the air with a great deal more grace than I had the muffin. With a half-hearted wave, I was out the door. As I made my way down the stairs and across the lawn, I huffed a lungful of fresh air with the enthusiasm of a prisoner released from solitary. I couldn’t help but shake my head at the completely foreign way Molly had responded to my usual ‘morning-after debriefing’. Even thinking her name and the word debriefing in the same sentence made my pants tight and I casually adjusted myself as I reached in my pocket for my…
Shit. I forgot my phone.
I stood for a full minute as my gut clenched and my mind spun like a blender. How the hell could I have left anything behind, let alone something as important as my phone? Reluctantly, I trudged back and was about to knock on her door when it swung open and I was face to face with her again. She held up my phone, her baby blues twinkling with amusement.
Fuck.
I plucked it from her hand and struggled to find something to say.
“Joe.” Her expression was serious.
“Yeah?” I couldn’t decide if I was afraid of what she’d ask of me or what I might willingly agree to.
“We’re cool.” Her words were firm and non-negotiable. I blinked rapidly in surprise.
“Alright.” I murmured and as I backed away, she shut the door in my face.
Fuck me sideways.
I stood there for a second while my brain whirled in neutral. Shaking my head to try and clear it I turned and hurried to the curb. I used the Yellow Cab app on my phone to find a ride. Lucky for me a cab was just down the block. The driver had me back to my truck in no time. Unlocking the door, I slid behind the wheel.
How in the fuck did this happen? It’s a good thing she didn’t get all clingy or I would be looking to move to a new town. There is no way Mac or Mason would ever let this go. Ever.
One minute I was putting the truck in drive, the next I was parking at my building. I felt shaky, and oddly off balance. I threw open the security door and went inside; but, rather than going upstairs, I wandered into the shop. Nervous energy had me wandering aimlessly, cleaning and picking up scraps of wood. As much as I tried to distract myself, Molly kept rolling through my mind. The smell of her that still enveloped me…. the way she felt beneath my hands. The sound of her sighs when I kissed her throat, the way she tasted under my tongue.
I sat on the stool in my workshop for two hours lost in thought. My hands, however, seemed to operate without me. When I stood up to clean my tools and rinse out a few brushes, I had several wooden figures sitting on a drying cloth. Frowning, I picked them up and surveyed them absently. Trudging up the stairs, I made a bee line for the shower and doused myself with Old Spice body wash until all traces of Molly’s scent had been scrubbed away.
Once I was dressed, I headed back down to the truck. I needed to clear my head and I needed a solid meal. A short time later, I parked just down the street from Casino El Camino. The place was a loud dive decorated out of the props closet of a science fiction B movie nightmare. It smelled like decades of cigarette smoke, but they served the best burger in town. I went to the order window and got two bacon cheeseburgers, no fries and a big bottle of water. There was a bit of a line, but my food was up in no time. Grabbing the bag, I paid and headed back to the truck. Their burgers were a million times more appetizing when eaten elsewhere.
I drove down to Zilker Park and pulled into the lot near the pool. Heading away from the pool, I climbed the hill toward the outdoor Shakespearean theatre. There was an isolated picnic table at the top overlooking the stage with a huge shade tree over it. I sat down with my big bottle of water and bag of food.
I loved the park at this time of day. It was early afternoon so there weren’t many people around. The spot I chose was far enough from everything else that I could hear the birds and wind through the trees. I’d found this place after the accident; when I needed somewhere to go, where all the well-wishers would leave me the fuck alone. I tore into my burgers and tried my best to enjoy the serenity of the park. Try as I might, Molly Hildebrandt kept popping into my head. I had really screwed up this time. One word to her brothers and I was going to be in deep shit. They would want to kick my ass and I might be inclined to let them. It was beyond stupid to have let things go too far with her.
I had a red head all primed and ready to head back to her place when I spotted Molly on the dance floor with Francis. Her laugh had caught my attention, but that beautiful smile pulled me to her. I dropped the redhead like she was a hot coal and moved in for a better view. I was astonished to see Francis twirling her around the floor like a pro. Watching Molly wing it on the dance floor was like seeing the dawn after an Alaskan winter. Her smile lit up the night. Suddenly, leaving with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader wannabe seemed like a hollow endeavor. She approached me once more and I completely blew her off. By the time I settled my tab and got my credit card back, Molly brushed passed me on her way to the bar and Francis had appeared at my elbow.
“Hey Joe.”
“Hey, Francis. Sorry I was a dick before.”
“I’m pretty used to it.’ He scoffed. “No offense.” I blinked in surprise, but it was hard to argue with the facts. I’d been awful to him more than once and he had been way too nice about it. I would have throat punched anyone who talked to me the way I talked to him.
“You need a ride?” I figured no time to extend the olive branch like the present. “I was gonna take a cab, but I can have the guy swing by the work area if you need a way back.”
He smiled and shook his head. “No, I do appreciate the offer though, I really do.”
“Okay, Francis.” He looked at me for a moment with the saddest expression I had ever seen on his face. All of a sudden, I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what he had to say.
“Can I ask your opinion?” He put a hand on my shoulder. It was a very natural, unassuming move coming from him, and I cracked open my last beer.
“Sure.” I shrugged. “What?”
Do you think some people are just meant to be miserable?” The way he asked the question made me wonder if he was talking about me or himself. I stopped to consider because he didn’t seem like he was trying to be a dick, dancing with Molly apparently had made him introspective.
“In my experience, life is full of all sorts of unfair shit. Happiness seems to be a fleeting thing. Why do you ask?”
“Molly’s a darlin’ girl. She reminds me a lot of my daughter.” He broke off and looked away. A few seconds later he took a deep breath and turned a shrewd eye back to me. “The way the two of you look at each other…even if happiness is as fleeting as you claim, shouldn’t you try for a bit of it? Even if it doesn’t last?”
He turned and headed to the bar and I found myself following him.
The conversation had kept me at the bar and in a very roundabout way, led me to Molly’s bed. Had we been happy? For one night at least, the answer was a resounding yes.
By the time I was done with lunch, I had come to one conclusion. Let it go. Just sit back and act like nothing had happened. Molly seemed cool enough with it, so the best course of action was to just behave as if nothing had changed. If things went to hell…well I’d burn that bridge when I came to it.
The park suddenly felt less serene and I headed back toward the truck, tossing the bag in a nearby trash can. I went back home stopping off at the liquor store. Going out last night had been a disaster, but I needed a drink. I went to the ATM to pull out some cash and my eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw my balance. Shocked at how much money I’d been saving staying in, I decided to treat myself to some Johnnie Walker Blue. It looked so good I picked up two bottles. I looked at the
clock it was barely after two, but as Jimmy Buffett would say, 'it was five o’clock somewhere’. Once I was back home, I cracked the first bottle open and toasted my own stupidity.
There is something exceptional about the taste of a high shelf whiskey. It was a crying shame to use it to get blotto. After the first few glasses, I could have been drinking just about anything. The sun was setting when I emptied the first bottle, sloshing some on my shirt and jeans. The last thing I remember was sitting on the concrete floor of my workshop looking at the fading sunlight gleaming off one of my tools.
The smell of hot coffee made me open my eyes. I was sitting at the kitchen table with a steaming cup near my right hand. Part of my mind rebelled, screaming a warning at me about what was coming next. Another part of me ached in longing. I heard him coming before I saw him. A squeaking of sneakered feet on the tile and Jack burst into view riding the horse head on a stick toy that he loved.
“Daddy! Daddy I missed you! Where have you been?” I smiled at him and opened my arms wide. Jack flew across the room and slammed into me. Wrapping my arms around him, I held him close, smelling the scent of soap rising from him and feeling the light sheen of sweat on him from his rowdy antics. His tiny arms went around my neck and squeezed me tight.
“Hey there buddy! Are you being good?” Jack pulled back and made a funny face at me.
“Of course,” he got his sarcasm from me. Even so, it came out good naturedly. “I’m always a good boy!”
Hopping up on the chair next to me he pulled some bacon and toast from the platters at the center of the table and put them on his plate.
“I want you to go out and play with me. Will you teach me how to play spaceball?” I laughed and he gave me a curious look. “What?”
“Baseball, son. It’s baseball. And yes, I will show you how to hit. And pitch. And catch. We can play all day if you like.” The smile on his face lit a glow deep inside my heart. The click of heels coming down the hallway sent a shiver down my spine and that ache of longing grew deeper. Against my will, my head turned away from Jack to look in the direction of the footsteps.
Good Wood (Carved Hearts) Page 9