by Orts, Teresa
I could picture my parents’ faces when I told them I’d already booked the tour and the flight without their permission. I had never in my life done anything as serious as this, not even anything close to it. My parents were going to freak out. I was disappointed in myself for what I was about to do.
“You have to promise you’ll take it easy on them, okay?”
“I will. But I’m a grownup and they’re going to have to let me live my life how I choose.”
“You’re making me really nervous, too. That attitude is going to get you in trouble.”
I guess Nate was right. My parents wouldn’t welcome a comment like that. I glanced at the garden to find Mom and Dad setting up the table and happily chatting to each other. They had no idea the day was going to take a drastic turn.
“They just went out to the garden with their lunch. It’s now or never! I have to go.”
“Okay, but remember, if it doesn’t work, we’ll think of something else. Don’t push it too far.”
Before leaving the room, I checked myself in the full mirror behind the door. I was surprised at what I saw. I certainly wasn’t a kid anymore, and my parents had to understand that. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and then strode out of the room.
Stopping behind the garden door, I took a long, deep breath before the big performance.
“Hey, guys!”
The table, which was covered with a blue cloth, had been strategically placed under the awning. Several plates with tomato, cucumber, bread, and chicken were scattered around the table.
“Do you want some lunch?” Mom looked up at me as I stood next to them.
“No, thanks. I’m all right.” The last thing I could think of right now was eating. My stomach swirled at the thought of what I was about to say.
I sat on the garden swing next to the table, right across from Dad. If I was likely to make any allies in this battle, my only possibility was Dad. It was best if we were sitting across from each other and could make eye contact.
“I can’t wait to finish with this casting. I’ve been leaving here before sunrise for the last three weeks.” Mom was talking to Dad, unaware that I was about to break the big news.
“Why do they need you so early anyway?” Dad carefully piled tomato slices on top of his bread as if he were building a vegetable tower.
Folding my arms across my chest and pressing them really hard as if I were hugging myself, I tried to get their attention. “I… I need to talk to you about something.”
“Yes?” Mom brought her gaze up from her plate. Dad topped his tomato structure with another piece of bread and, picking up the sandwich with both hands, brought it to his mouth.
“Well, I want you to know how important it is for me to get into NYU with a full scholarship.”
While I was talking I couldn’t help but stare at Dad’s sandwich as he tried to get his mouth around it. One by one, pieces of tomato and then a slice of cucumber fell onto the table and then onto his lap.
What was I doing? I was already digging myself into a hole and had only made my opening line. Nate and I agreed I’d only use that argument as a last resort. I could feel the color in my face.
“NYU conducts a prospective student tour once per semester, and I’d like to go see if I like it there.”
“I thought we’d already spoken about that. You’ll do it next year when you’re a bit older.” Mom speared a piece of chicken with her fork and turned toward Dad again.
“The thing is that I think I want to do it this year. I don’t want to waste all this time thinking that NYU is my top choice, and then I get there next year and don’t like it. It’s better I go this year.”
Dad gave me a quick glance.
“Sophie, I’m afraid we can’t afford to pay for all of us to fly to New York and spend a whole week there.” That was a low blow. I hadn’t expected Dad to say that.
“What do you mean we can’t afford tickets for all of us? I can’t go to a prospective tour with my parents! I want to go on my own.” My voice was rising. “I’m not sure if you noticed, but I’ll be turning seventeen in a week. It’s about time you started treating me like the adult that I am. Dad, you have to understand me!”
So much for strategy. The playbook was out the window.
Dad dropped his sandwich on the plate as the conversation heated up.
“This is important to me, and this is what I want to do.” The more I spoke my wishes out loud, the more I realized there was no way my parents were going to sign up for this.
“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait until your senior year like everyone else. And there’s no need to raise your voice.” Mom pushed her plate away as though she’d finished eating.
Why was Mom being so inconsiderate? She was just not giving in a bit, and the “raising your voice” comment made me look like I was losing it. I was just trying to get my point across.
“Dad! Please explain to Mom that the earlier I meet with Professor Silverman, the more likely it is I’ll get a full scholarship.”
“I guess she has a point.”
“She’s sixteen years old, for Christ’s sake!” Mom gave Dad a dark look, suggesting he was backing the wrong person.
“Mom, I’m a good student. I never get into trouble. What is there left to prove? You can trust me.”
Mom took a sip from her glass of water, as if to calm herself, and then she spoke. “Anyway, we can’t even afford right now to pay for your ticket. So that’s that!” Then she turned toward Dad, picked up her fork, and continued eating. She was probably hoping I would drop the subject, but this wasn’t over yet.
I got up and stood in front of them. “I’ll pay for it myself!”
“That’s not the point!” I could see a vein flickering in Mom’s forehead. I knew when that happened, I was crossing the line.
“You just said we can’t afford it. So what’s the point, then? Mom, don’t you realize that by not wanting to let go of me you’re ruining my life? I need that scholarship! You know we can’t afford to pay for college!”
Placing my hands inside my jeans pockets, I clenched the flight printout and the NYU tour receipt inside.
“I’m not going to let a sixteen-year-old roam around New York on her own. I haven’t lost my mind yet.”
“I won’t be alone! There’ll be a student with me at all times.”
Tears started welling in my eyes. I felt like this battle had been lost before it even started.
“Sophie, I don’t care! A no means no, and that’s our last word!”
Bringing out the pieces of paper from my pocket, I proceed to unfold them in front of my parents’ stunned looks.
“There you go. I already booked the flights and the tour. I’m afraid you’re not going to win this one, Mom.”
Mom stared at the two pieces of paper I planted in the middle of the table. She was turning scarlet, making me fear her head was going to explode. She didn’t seem able to utter a word.
Then I saw she was crying. I wanted to disappear off the face of the planet. How could I be such a tyrant? How could I have done this to my poor parents?
I thought of Nate for a second and convinced myself that if I could’ve shared with them what was really happening, they would want me to be there for him.
“What happened to you, Sophie? Since the school year started, I don’t recognize you anymore.” Mom’s voice came out as a whisper as tears ran down her cheeks.
“Mom, please. You need to understand.”
“Go to your room. This conversation is over, and don’t leave that room until we tell you.” She spoke without having the strength to look me in the eye.
I gazed at Dad to see if he was going to come to my defense, but he nodded at me with disappointment in his eyes. As I didn’t know what to do, I sprinted up to my room. If only they knew what I was going through.
Closing the door behind me, I threw myself on the bed and buried my face in the pillows. What were we going to do? How was I going to help
Nate if I couldn’t go to New York with him? After I’d promised to help him, I was going to have to plainly bail out because my parents didn’t trust me.
I couldn’t stop sobbing. If I couldn’t go to New York, there was no way out of this for Nate. On top of that, my parents probably hated me after what I’d done. I suspected there wouldn’t be a trip to New York this year, nor the next.
I wanted to pull myself together, but I couldn’t. Mom’s words felt like daggers. They were obviously aware that something had happened to me this year and that I changed. I wished more than anything in the world that I could share with them what was really happening to Nate. I wanted to explain to them that I wasn’t a bad daughter. I was just trying to help him.
For a second, I thought of going downstairs and telling them the truth, but they wouldn’t ever believe me.
My cell phone started vibrating on the table. I knew it was Nate. Grabbing the duvet from the right side of the bed, I wrapped myself in it like a sausage roll. My life was over. How was I going to explain this to him?
I tried taking deep breaths, hoping to get my sobbing under control. But the sound of the constant vibration of the cell phone just reminded me that Nate was waiting impatiently for me to break the news.
I waited for a few minutes until I stopped crying. Then the phone started vibrating again. Emerging from under the duvet to face the world again, I flicked the phone open without checking the caller ID.
“What happened? How did it go?”
Silence filled the line. I couldn’t bring myself to speak. If something happened to Nate, I wasn’t ever going to forgive myself.
“Sophie, are you there? Please say something.”
“I can’t go.” Just like that, tears started cascading down my face again.
I could hear Nate breathing at the other end of the line.
“I could come over and talk to them.”
“Mom’s furious. That’s not going to work. There’s really nothing we can do. And anyway, what are they going to say when you appear in the picture all of a sudden?”
“I’ll just explain to them what NYU means to you.”
I thought of Nate knocking on our door and trying to explain to my parents how to educate their child. “We need to think of something else. What if we just take off?”
“That’s crazy! They’ll call the police and you’ll be back home before we make it to the airport.”
I lapsed into silence for a moment. “I don’t know why, but something tells me we just have to go to New York.”
“I shouldn’t be saying this, but I have the same feeling.”
Damn! Nate acknowledging that he had the same feeling just made me feel even more awful. My only task had been to convince my parents to let me go, and I’d already failed on that count.
“I’ll go on my own. I can visit the obelisk. You don’t actually need to physically be there. I can film it on my phone and email it to you.”
I didn’t know what to say. “I guess we don’t have any other choice, but it’ll be more difficult.”
“Sophie, we don’t have many options.”
“I’m failing you by not being there.” The guilt was thick in my voice.
“Don’t worry about that. Try to make peace with your parents. I’ll call you from the airport in the morning before I board.”
“But…”
“Just have a good night’s sleep, and we’ll talk in the morning, okay? I think you need it.”
*
“Sophie, get up!”
The bright light shone right into my eyes, blinding me.
“What?” I was struggling to open my eyes and even figure out where I was.
“Come on. Quick! Before I change my mind.”
I realized I was in my bedroom, and Dad was the one talking to me. It was still dark outside, so I had no idea what time it was.
I gathered myself on top of the bed. “Dad, what’s going on?”
“I’m dropping you off at the airport. Pack something quick and let’s go.”
I was totally confused. “But…”
Dad went into my closet and grabbed a suitcase from the top compartment.
“Mom’s gone to work. Get ready… before I come to my senses.”
I sprang to my feet, feeling slightly lightheaded. I was still struggling to know whether this was happening for real.
“But Mom’s going to kill you.” I went into the closet and started hurling clothes at Dad, who shoved them inside the suitcase.
“I know how important this is for you. I tried talking to her.”
Opening drawers, I grabbed everything I found in my way and passed it on to Dad. I couldn’t believe Dad was going to let me go without Mom’s permission.
Grabbing a backpack, I placed my laptop in it and also my wallet and the NYU package tour receipt.
“Sophie, I’m trusting you on this one. Don’t let me down, okay?” Dad said as he tried to zip the overstuffed suitcase.
“I won’t, Dad. But Mom?”
“Don’t worry. She’ll get over it. I think she’s just afraid of how fast you’re growing up. Her little baby girl is growing into a woman.”
Dad placed the suitcase next to the door and then rested his hand on my shoulder. “You go to your NYU tour and do what you’ve got to do, but when you come back, I want you on your best behavior for the rest of the year. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Unable to hide my smile, I planted a kiss on his cheek.
“I’m dead serious. I don’t care what’s going on at school this year, but you’ve got to focus. You need those straight A’s.”
“Dad, I promise. When I’m back, I’ll be on my best behavior.”
Dad drove like a maniac to the airport. I’d never seen him skip a red light before. The problem was that it was quarter to seven and the checkin counter closed in thirty minutes. There wasn’t a lot of traffic yet, but we were still relatively far from LAX.
I texted Nate in the car to let him know of the change of plans. He surely had to be at the airport by now if he was going to make that flight.
I texted Nate several more times through the trip, but he wasn’t answering. What if he changed his mind? What if he overslept?
When we got to the airport, Dad refused to leave me at the drop-off area and head back home. Instead, he insisted on accompanying me to the checkin counter and all the way to the security checkpoint.
Dad left the car in the parking lot and, carrying my suitcase, walked me to the terminal.
Miraculously, we managed to make it on time to the American Airlines checkin counter. The muscles between my shoulders tightened at the thought of bumping into Nate. If Dad saw him, that was the end of the trip.
Anyway, why wasn’t he replying to my texts?
“You could’ve used the first-class counter,” the woman behind the counter informed me.
Blood rushed to my face at the fear that Dad had heard her, but thankfully he was busy securing the lock of my suitcase and didn’t realize. If he’d heard it, I would’ve been busted before even boarding the plane.
Nate had gone over the top by buying first-class tickets. Most likely, he’d insisted on buying the tickets himself because he knew I was obviously going to book us in economy. Nate’s family was the type of family that probably didn’t even know what economy looked like. Anyway, I was going to insist on paying Nate back—even if it took me a couple of years.
I quickly checked in and said good-bye to Dad at the security check. Then I made my way to the gate and waited impatiently for Nate to arrive.
I called his cell phone, but he wasn’t picking up. Where was he? He certainly had to be in the airport by now. I had to relax. Maybe he hadn’t checked his phone this morning.
I tried reading a book. I followed the lines of the entire first page, and when I got to the bottom, I realized I had no idea what I’d just read. My mind kept going back to the night of the premiere. Nate’s gaze lost in the infinite, the swollen veins,
his frightening milky eyes, the purplish color of his skin, and the hatred in his face.
Was this going to help Nate, or was I chasing a dream? Was I being selfish, knowing this was going to take us nowhere and only using it as an excuse to be around him? I had to silence the voice inside my head or it was going to drive me crazy.
The plane began to board forty-five minutes before takeoff, and Nate was still nowhere to be seen. I began to think that maybe he’d changed his mind and decided this was a waste of time. Maybe he wasn’t brave enough to tell me that he didn’t believe anything I said and had decided to simply cancel the trip. However, I didn’t think that was Nate’s style.
After business and first-class, economy began to board. The line snaked around the gate area. I crossed my fingers, hoping that the boarding would take long enough for Nate to arrive. One after the other, the passengers boarded the plane. The time came when I had to make up my mind and choose whether I was going to go ahead or not.
As the last passenger boarded I tried to avoid eye contact with the gate attendant. I looked back, imploring Nate to appear around the corner, but he didn’t materialize.
“We’re closing the gate. You need to board if you’re coming.” The gate attendant half-grinned, aware that I was waiting for someone.
It was just her and me. I stared at my boarding pass.
CHAPTER XII
“OKAY, SURE.” I HANDED the boarding pass to her. I could feel my hands shaking. I guess I was going to go ahead. It wasn’t a conscious decision; it was more about the inability to make up my mind.
The gate attendant handed me back the boarding pass with a grin that felt out of place.
“Can you make sure we’re sitting together?” I heard behind me. I turned around to find Nate next to me.
I passed my arm around his back and gave him a tight hug. He kissed me on the cheek. I couldn’t hide how happy I was to see him.
“Why didn’t you reply to my texts? I was really worried.”
“Sorry, I just saw them when walking to the gate.” Nate waved his phone. “Regardless of what you said yesterday, I knew you’d find a way to come. I’m not that surprised to find you here.” Nate grinned at me.