by Amy Briggs
My coffee addiction was real; I knew it wasn’t that great for me in the quantities I’d been consuming it lately, but I also wasn’t concerned. I needed to stay awake more often than not, and the truth is that I loved it. The first sip of coffee in the morning was my favorite part of every day, even though my morning was technically mid-afternoon. Normally, I walked into the hospital through the ER, since that’s where I worked, and although I wasn’t going to work per se, I decided to breeze through and say hi to Ruth on my way to neurology.
“Well, hey, there, Jake, did someone call you in?” Ruth noticed me immediately. Before I could even answer her, she looked me up and down, realizing I was in everyday clothes, not scrubs. “Wait a minute, what are you doing here? I don’t think I’ve seen you in normal clothes in a hundred years.” She chuckled.
“I’m not working today, milady. I’m actually stopping in to visit someone,” I replied coyly, running my hand through my thick, dark hair nervously. I had the bag from the popular bookstore in my other hand, and while I wasn’t necessarily trying to hide it, I was suddenly feeling self-conscious about it and regretted not using the main entrance.
“Are you going to visit our sleeping princess?” She placed her hand on her hip and smirked at me, raising her eyebrows as well.
I couldn’t keep up the playful charade. I felt like a complete nutcase, so I just blurted out, “No one has come for her yet, and you know how I feel about unresponsive patients in situations like these. I know they can hear us. I am sure they can. And I know that no one talks to their patients as often as we do; and even though she’s not technically my patient anymore, I’m going to read to her while we try to figure out what the hell is keeping her from waking up.”
Ruth reached her pale, aging hand out to squeeze my shoulder and gave me a soft smile. “I think that’s a lovely idea, Jacob,” she almost whispered. “What did you pick out?” she asked, nodding in the direction of the plastic bag in my hand.
Feeling a little embarrassed, I chuckled and grinned. “I bought an anthology of fairy tales.” Waiting for the ribbing that I thought was about to be handed to me, Ruth tilted her head thoughtfully instead.
“I think that’s perfect. Just perfect.” She smiled.
“Yea?” I wasn’t necessarily looking for validation, but I did feel kind of strange going out and getting a specific book to read to a patient whom I didn’t even know anything about.
“Well, she’s our Snow White, so of course it’s perfect. Now, go on, get out of here. I have patients to see. I’m sure she will be happy to have some company.” Ruth shooed me away playfully as I started to walk away.
“Thanks, Ruth. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good shift,” I replied. She waved and went on about her rounds as I made my way to the elevator to visit my sleeping princess.
Chapter 12
Jacqueline
I was bored out of my mind and left alone most of the day, or night, or whatever it was. I couldn’t keep track. While I could hear everything around me and wasn’t in any pain or discomfort, I couldn’t follow most of my thoughts and kept falling asleep. I was unsure if I was dreaming or sleeping, or what was going on, really. The only thing I knew for sure was that to everyone else, I was asleep and not waking up. I couldn’t feel anything when it sounded like they were touching me to take my vital signs or checking other things.
At one point, what I’m assuming was a doctor came in to do an evaluation on me. He grumbled about not understanding why I wouldn’t wake up, because there was no reason that he could find. He talked to me, but not particularly kindly, as if I had a choice in the matter. I certainly didn’t want to be lying there, hearing the world carry on around me. I’d have hopped out of this bed and run out of there if I could have. His irritation at my state wasn’t something I had any say in, and I wished that the other doctor from the emergency room would come back.
I thought I remembered him saying that he would, but not knowing what was real and what was in my mind was making it hard to be optimistic. Starting to wonder if he was even real, my thoughts shifted to the footsteps I heard entering the room, causing my heart to race a bit; or at least that’s what I felt.
“Hello, princess,” he said. It is him! He is real. It wasn’t my imagination! I tried to say hello, to say anything again, but of course wasn’t able to get out a single peep. I had so much I wanted to say.
“How are we doing today?” I’m so much better now that you’re here. That other doctor is so grumpy, and those nurses don’t talk to me like Ruth does. I have no idea what’s going on!
“Let’s take a peek at your chart and see what’s going on today,” he said. I knew that whatever he saw, he would tell me, and I was anxious to hear if there was anything in there.
“Hmmm,” he said and then sighed. “Looks like they haven’t been able to figure out what’s going on, milady. But the good news is that it’s only been a short time, and there’re lots of tests we can do to find out how to wake you up and get you home.” He paused, and I heard him walk around to the other side of the bed. “I’ve been trying to figure out who you really are, Snow White, and I think I’ve found some clues.”
Excitement ran through my veins like electricity as he continued, “I’m pretty sure you run the flower shop a few blocks away, since that’s where you were brought in from. And guess what’s even more interesting?” What? What’s more interesting than you knowing where I’m from? I couldn’t begin to imagine.
“I live in one of the apartments above that flower shop.” WHAT? How can that be? Immediately, I wondered if I knew him. I knew there was a man who lived across the hall, but I’d never seen him. I was told by the landlord he worked night shifts and slept most days. Do you know me? I tried to yell out, as if attempting to yell would work better than attempting to talk at all.
“I’m not sure we’ve ever met, because frankly, I know I would remember you,” he said to me. Sounding like he sat down—there must have been a chair nearby—he continued, “I’m not sure what it is, but I feel like I know you somehow, but I can’t put my finger on it.” He was quiet for a bit after that, leaving me to question our connection. It wasn’t lost on me that he was on my mind, and that on top of that, he’d found a link between us. His voice wasn’t familiar to me, so we probably hadn’t met before, but had we seen each other before? As I continued to conceive all the ways we could have seen each other or met before now, he spoke again, regaining my full attention.
“I’m not sure I ever told you my name. I’m Jacob. Jacob McIntyre. I’m a physician’s assistant here at the hospital; I work in the ER you were brought into. Anyway, I’ll tell you more about me later, but I thought it might be nice to hear a story instead. I’m one hundred percent sure that you can hear me, and so I went to the bookstore today and picked up something to read to you.” He paused again, evoking my enthusiasm for what it could be. “I chose a book of fairy tales.”
I heard him chuckle, and if I could have giggled out loud, I would have. Fairy tales were my favorite, and how fortuitous that he would pick that of all things to read to me. Sensing nervousness in his voice, I wished I could have squeezed his hand to encourage him. His thoughtfulness was unparalleled. He didn’t know me, and yet he’d somehow managed to make my day wonderful, yet I couldn’t even thank him.
“We’re going to start with the traditional Cinderella today. I’d like to save Snow White for later,” he said. “So, here we go…” I heard a bag rustle, and as he opened the book, I felt my own body relax, preparing to enjoy the story.
Then he began, and even though I didn’t think he could see it, I smiled.
“Once upon a time…”
Chapter 13
Jacob
It continued to trouble me that they’d made no real progress on her diagnosis. The neurology department had run more tests since the day before, and the results were still being waited on. So far, they’d ruled out a stroke of any kind, which was good. That meant that they’d done a CT
scan and found no evidence of bleeding in the brain or brain trauma. Initially, I’d ordered those tests, but since I wasn’t a licensed medical doctor, a diagnosis such as that was far outside of my purview, regardless of the fact I knew how to. While I wanted her to be in my care, she was in the best place for someone in her condition, even if it bothered me.
I had been racking my brain to try to think of obscure diagnoses we’d learned about in school, but so far nothing had really stuck out to me. Whatever it was that was keeping her asleep hadn’t affected any of her brain activity, and when they did some of the standard assessments for nerve damage such as a pin prick to her toe, she reacted, meaning she didn’t have any sort of paralysis, which was a great sign. They’d done the other typical tests for a variety of damage that could have occurred from trauma or disease, but none of her tests were coming up with any indicators of an illness. In fact, she looked extraordinarily healthy so far, and thus the mystery continued. Seemingly, there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. Aside from her heart rate picking up now and again, there were virtually no changes in her condition since she’d been to the ER. I’d noticed the heart rate spike when I came into the room, and I wondered if it was because she could sense someone was entering and it was making her nervous or scared. It certainly wasn’t my intent to worry her, so I made a note to keep an eye on it.
I explained to her that I was going to read, studying her face while I spoke, looking for a sign of acknowledgement. I could have sworn I saw her lips briefly form what looked like a smile, but it was probably my eyes playing tricks on me. It had also occurred to me that she might not have any idea who I was, so I introduced myself “officially” as well. If anyone had heard me in that moment, they’d probably have thought I was crazy, but I was standing firm in my belief that she could hear me, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of connection with her. In fact, I realized that my own heart had started to race when I got to her room that day, book in hand.
As I read the story of Cinderella aloud to her, I couldn’t help smiling. While the adult version of the tale was a bit more nefarious than I remembered, it still had the elements I was looking for. The girl became a princess, and her prince took her away from her troubles. I added my own commentary along the way, particularly in this version of Cinderella. Not only were the stepsisters their memorable awful selves, but it was described in particularly graphic fashion how they’d lopped off portions of their own feet to make the slipper fit so they could marry the prince.
“Wow, sorry, Snow. I didn’t remember the story being quite so graphic.” I grimaced as I read. “They wanted to marry this dude pretty bad, sheesh.” I continued reading to her, and as the story ended with Cinderella of course forgiving her awful sisters because she was a pure heart, I set the book down in my lap. I hadn’t read aloud since grade school when the teacher would make each of us in the classroom take a turn reading paragraphs in English. I enjoyed it and was far more engaged in the story that way as well.
“I hope that doesn’t give you nightmares. Jesus,” I said. Grimm’s Fairy Tales were certainly more descriptive than I recalled and a bit less romantic than I’d envisioned. “We’ll try another one tomorrow and see if that’s a bit better.” I chuckled. “If it’s gross, I’ll go get the Disney versions, and we can enjoy the PG-rated ones instead.” I really had forgotten how colorful the old fairy tales were.
Not ready to leave, I decided to have a one-sided conversation with her. “You’re probably wondering why we call you Snow White. We nicknamed you that, because you’re not waking up, of course, kind of like you’re under a spell or a curse of some kind. We can’t find what’s keeping you asleep,” I started to explain. “I wish you could tell me what happened to you. I went by the flower shop this morning on my way home and peeked in the windows.”
Saying that out loud made me feel like a creeper, so I tried to explain myself more. “I was trying to figure out if maybe something happened, or if I could tell what you were doing when you became unconscious.” Thinking back, I scanned the room again in my mind, recalling the large table and the plants I had seen. “I only saw leaves and stuff in buckets; I guess you probably keep the flowers in a cooler? I couldn’t really tell, though. I’d like to learn more about the flowers and what you do. I saw your giant table in the middle of the room. I guess that’s where you do most of your work?” I asked, knowing she couldn’t reply but wondering aloud anyway.
“I couldn’t see too much else except for a fruit basket on your counter that looks like you got into and then left the rest out.” I smiled. “You’re going to have to wake up soon, or all that fruit will go bad, you know,” I halfheartedly teased her. I did wish she would just magically wake up and tell me about herself. Curious by nature, I wanted to know about everyone, but now I wanted to know about her. I wanted to know about the flowers. I wanted her to teach me things I didn’t know. I wanted to know how she got into flowers and if it made her happy; I imagined that she adored being around the beauty of them. I wanted to know what piece of fruit she picked out of that basket that was her favorite. I wanted to know her.
As I thought about all of these things, I watched her sleep, speculating what she was thinking. While I, of course, didn’t know for sure, I felt like she was happy to have the company, especially since no one had come for her yet. Surely, there had to be someone who wondered where she was; someone who was worried. I decided that I’d get in touch with the landlord to ask a few questions about my neighbor and see if I couldn’t figure out who she was.
Letting her know, I reached over and took her hand gently. “I am going to find out who you really are, Snow White, and then we’re going to find a way to wake you up.” While I didn’t want to go, I needed to. I had to get some things done, and I had dinner plans with my mother that evening.
“I’ll be back tomorrow before my shift, milady, and we’ll try another story,” I said as I stood up to leave. “Until then, sleep peacefully, princess.”
As I put the book back in the bag, I glanced to her vitals monitor and noticed her heart rate pick up again slightly. Did she know I was leaving? She had to. Not wanting to leave her alone but knowing I had to leave, I leaned over her bed and whispered, “Don’t be afraid. I’ll be back soon.” I gently touched her soft hand again and left, noticing the hole had come back. The one that her company had begun to fill.
Chapter 14
Jacqueline
Jacob. His name is Jacob. I wasn’t dreaming him up; he did exist, and he came back for me. He told me what he knew of my condition and what had been going on with the results during my stay. His voice was deep and smooth, and as he talked, I felt peace and calm wash over me. I had been getting restless when no one was around, wishing that I could wake up and run home, but when he was there, the storm that churned inside me subsided.
My heart fluttered hearing that he wanted to read to me. Men don’t typically do such things, at least none that I knew of, and in that moment, I felt luckier than ever before. My favorite thing as a child, being read to helped ease the anxiety of my slumber but also brought me such joy. I loved the fairy tales, and how serendipitous that he chose a book of those very same tales to bring to me. As he read the Grimm’s version of Cinderella to me, I dreamed of being in a castle with a prince of my own. Not knowing what Jacob looked like didn’t even matter to me; I dreamed of what he looked like, sitting next to my bed, reading to me.
As I lay still, listening to him read, adding in his own comments, I wanted to wake up more than ever. His laugh made me smile, even if he couldn’t see it, and his presence in the quiet room with me alleviated my fears, if only while he was there. He had a certain charm I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but there was an attraction to him. I couldn’t possibly explain why that could be, other than the fact that I was alone, I suppose; but despite the fact I couldn’t see him, the draw to him was like sorcery. I couldn’t resist the pull, although I could do nothing about it but wonder if he was feeling the same thing.
When he explained he had to go, I wished we had more time together, but he said he’d be back, and I felt him touch my hand gently as he said good-bye. Hoping that tomorrow would come quickly, I managed to doze off for awhile, thinking about the story of Cinderella and how she got her prince, and I imagined what was in store for Snow White and Prince Jacob.
Chapter 15
Jacob
It killed me to leave her alone in that hospital room again. Every time I left her there, a sadness filled me, leaving me wanting nothing more but to turn around and go back. Because of my work and sleep schedule, I didn’t often have time to meet up with my mom, just the two of us, and we’d scheduled dinner together in the city quite a while ago, so I couldn’t miss it. I also wanted to talk to her anyway; the last couple of days since Snow White had ended up in my ER, I’d changed. Things tasted better, the sun shone brighter, and I knew it was her.
My mom was someone I confided in, and I wanted to tell her how I was feeling to see if I was going crazy. I knew that a perfect stranger couldn’t possibly make me start to feel again, but then again, couldn’t they? I mean, why not, right? People were always meeting each other, so what if she didn’t actually know me? A part of me knew that I sounded like a lunatic, but another part of me believed in romance just enough to think that some things were meant to be. Some people’s paths were meant to cross. I hadn’t felt as alive as I had the last two days in as long as I could remember.