by Sue MacKay
‘You are Monsieur and Madame Wells? We were told to book you into one of our best suites. It has two bedrooms, two bathrooms, views out across the city. What more can you want?’ The receptionist looked perplexed.
Tori asked, ‘Is there another room available?’
‘Yes, we have a single room on the third floor.’
‘That will do nicely.’
Ben shook his head. ‘Tori, the apartment has two bedrooms so it’s not as though we’ll be sharing everything.’
She shook her head. She’d feel his presence even with her bedroom door shut, would be straining to hear him moving about, and wanting to talk to him. Wondering how he felt about her now that he knew about the baby that they’d lost.
‘Okay, I’ll take the third-floor room.’ Ben shrugged. ‘The one with the view of the back of a building.’ He actually smiled of his own free will. ‘While you have the views of Paris with the iconic sights.’
‘Dirty tactics,’ she replied, trying to bite down on the smile that was threatening to break out. Hard to be down in this city.
‘Of course.’ He seemed to be waiting for her to make up her mind.
She’d love those views. How could she banish Ben to the basement, so to speak? It wasn’t as though he’d made the booking for them. No, Monsieur Leclare had undertaken to find them a very good hotel with very good rooms. What the heck? She’d give the suite a go and if the situation became too difficult or tense she’d find another room or hotel. Who knew? Now that there were no secrets between them, it might be the catalyst needed to get them back together. If that was at all possible. There were times when she thought it was, then yesterday and today she’d known it wasn’t. ‘Come on. Let’s go upstairs to our suite and dump our bags. Paris is waiting.’
The city of love. Tori hummed the words over and over as she wandered along the bank of the Seine. More than once she caught herself reaching for Ben’s hand, wanting to entwine her fingers between his, pulling back just before her fingers touched him. Unsurprisingly, his mood hadn’t thawed that much.
‘Let’s go down one of those narrow streets and find a café where we can enjoy a drink on the sidewalk while people-watching.’ Ben was already heading for the other side of the street.
‘Good idea,’ she muttered at his back.
Within moments they’d found a line of cafés and Tori happily sank onto a chair at a minuscule table out in the sun. ‘This is what I always dreamt Paris would be like.’
Ben bought sparkling water and beer with cheese sticks before joining her. ‘I’ve been in Paris twice but never done this.’
‘You’re joking.’ How could anyone not do this?
‘It wouldn’t have been half the fun on my own.’ There was no hidden meaning in his voice, though maybe a hint of sadness.
‘I don’t know. There’d be so much going on you’d have to be enthralled.’ Listening in on a French couple’s conversation at the next table, she sighed with contentment and leaned close to Ben. ‘He’s told her the car needs a new battery.’ She grinned. ‘How’s that? I understood him.’
Ben shook his head at her. ‘You’ve come all this way to eavesdrop on some poor, unsuspecting guy’s talk with his wife?’
‘Absolutely.’ Sipping her water, she continued listening in.
‘When did you give up drinking alcohol?’
She spluttered water down her front. ‘After the miscarriage.’ She lifted imploring eyes to him. Can we leave it at that? But deep down she knew it was something they needed to talk about, in order to move forwards.
‘You’re not blaming your drinking for the miscarriage?’ Shock resonated between them.
Splutter. At this rate she’d spray most of her water over the pavement and get little down her throat. ‘Yes. Of course I am.’
‘You can’t say categorically the alcohol was the cause. It could’ve been nature, or the immense strain you were under, no thanks to me.’ Ben wasn’t holding back. Had the atmosphere of the city of love touched him, loosened his tongue? Or had learning of their baby make him think he was free to talk about anything and everything?
‘I realised that I’d been drinking to numb myself, instead of talking to you about how I was feeling.’ The glass shook in her hand as she tried to gulp some water. ‘If I’d even suspected I was pregnant I’d never have touched a drop.’
‘It must have been awful, Tori. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you. I suspected you were drinking too much, but I turned a blind eye, because I knew I was the cause of you being so unhappy.’ She could only stare at him and shake her head at the fact that it had taken Ben a while to truly understand that hurt.
‘Tori? Have I gone too far?’
‘Yes.’ This was making her sad, which was the last thing she wanted. ‘Look, Ben, how about we leave the past alone and make the most of being here? Nothing contentious to be discussed.’ She was afraid they’d have another meltdown and she didn’t want that happening here. Or anywhere, if she thought about it.
‘Deal.’
* * *
Ben stretched his legs out under the table, sipped his beer, fully aware of the hangover only just fading away, and aimed for relaxed. It wasn’t easy. He wanted to be with Tori, but he still hadn’t been able to get the baby out of his head, and, worse, Tori’s deception still rankled. He knew he had to get past that. One day at a time had just become his new motto. He was more than happy to comply with Tori’s edict. The past could stay there—for now. Digging into that brought up live bombs he had no idea how to defuse without carnage. So the next few days were about moving forward and finally letting Tori go. It didn’t seem so impossible now, as any idea of trying to make a go of their relationship had gone out the window yesterday.
Thank goodness they both had their own agendas to get back to. This was only an interlude. Tori had too much at stake with so many children relying on her. He’d focus on working towards that partnership he desperately needed to prove to himself he was better than that cocky surgeon he’d been, stuffing up so badly in Auckland. Nothing short of a partnership in the clinic at Harley Street would make him happy. It was there, dangling in front of him so he could almost taste it. He just had to be patient.
‘Where have you gone?’ Tori peered at him through her sunshades.
‘Taking a break from thinking,’ he fibbed.
‘What shall we do tonight?’
‘Wait and see.’ He’d booked them a table for dinner on a river boat so they could see the city at night. A relaxed way to finish their day. ‘Dress in your evening finery, that’s all I’m saying.’
Her eyes lit up with fun. ‘When did you plan whatever we’re doing?’
‘Before we checked out of the hotel this morning.’ Even when he’d still been angry with her he’d still wanted to make her time in Paris special. Had he gone soft in the head? Probably.
‘Thank you.’ Her hand was warm on his.
The river cruise turned out to be fun and beautiful and romantic. Ben hadn’t factored in dancing on the deck to a five-piece orchestra. With Tori in his arms he could’ve stayed there all night. He hadn’t allowed for her looking stunning in a cream, fitted dress that stopped short of her knees, highlighting her slim legs and all those gorgeous curves. He hadn’t considered how he might have to control his runaway hormones and the deep, almost crippling need to make love to her.
‘I can’t believe I’m here,’ Tori whispered, as he led her around a couple who’d stopped to kiss. ‘With you,’ she added.
This was so not how he’d planned on winding up their relationship for good. ‘It is magic,’ he agreed, because it would be rude not to. And he couldn’t think of anything else to say without spoiling her mood.
Warmth brushed his neck. Tori had kissed him—on that exact spot just under his chin that always turned him on fast. D
eliberately? Had she remembered? Why would she? Why wouldn’t she?
The boat nudged against the wharf. With a dry mouth and thudding heart he put her away from him. It was midnight. ‘Come on, Cinderella, time we were back at the hotel.’ The hotel where they shared a suite of opulent rooms and the same air. Not that Tori would ever turn into anything remotely resembling a pumpkin but he had all his fingers crossed he didn’t turn into an idiot with a pole in the front of his trousers hindering his walking back to the hotel.
As they stepped onto land Tori slid her hand into his and cuddled closer. Damn woman, how can I remain impervious to you? You are such a turn-on.
‘What time are we expected at the medical school tomorrow?’ he asked in a pathetic attempt to quieten his racing heart.
Her head twisted against his arm as she glanced up at him. ‘Nine o’clock.’ Her smile zoomed straight to his toes, scorching every inch of his body on the way past, and did nothing to help his situation. ‘I know you haven’t forgotten. You forget nothing.’
‘I forgot your birthday once.’ Would that cool the air?
‘No, you didn’t want to wake me up when you got home late at night because I’d just finished a sixteen-hour shift.’ Her smile widened, and then she tripped because she wasn’t looking where she was going, and he was catching her and holding her close.
‘You were exhausted.’ Her length pressed against him. Now he’d definitely be in trouble. There was no denying his need for her pushing into her belly.
Tori stretched up on tiptoe and placed that beautiful mouth against his. Her tongue slipped inside to taste him and all his good intentions dissolved in a flash of heat and desire and longing so deep it hurt.
‘Tori,’ he groaned against her lips. ‘I’ve missed you something terrible.’ What had happened to moving on?
Her kiss deepened. Her arms wrapped around him, her hands joined at the back of his neck, pulling him closer—if that was possible. Those sweet breasts he remembered so well flattened against his chest. Under his hands her buttocks were soft globes of heat. If his heart didn’t explode out of his chest it would beat itself to death against his ribs.
‘Ben,’ she whispered, and then returned to kissing him.
He stopped thinking and focused entirely on Tori and deepening that kiss. Until he ran out of oxygen. Pulling back, he dragged in a load of air and returned to her mouth.
The street sweepers would probably have found them still kissing in the early morning if a group from the cruise hadn’t walked past, making loud, lurid comments at their expense.
Tori tensed, then turned in his arms to glare after them. ‘Sad puppies.’ She leaned back and folded her arms across her waist. Tried to keep air between her butt and his very obvious need.
Ben laid his chin on the top of her head and breathed in the combined scent of Tori and the city. Paradise. That’s where he was right now. Torturous paradise. Would this...? Stop overthinking everything. Stop thinking at all.
Tori broke away and asked, ‘Do you mind if we walk a while? I’m not ready for sleep.’
Disappointment surged even though he knew she had done the right thing. He wanted her, suspected she felt the same, but falling into bed together wasn’t going bring him closure. Or would it? Who was he kidding? But Tori had to be willing. That kiss suggested she might be but he wouldn’t push the advantage. One step at a time. And not making love to Tori might save his heart. But going ahead might help him to stop wondering what it would be like to make love to her once more.
Tori dropped her arms to her sides and stepped out along the pavement. ‘You’ll have to keep track of where we are. I don’t relish getting lost.’
They walked in silence for a while. The night was warm and the streets busy despite the late hour.
Then Tori said, ‘Ben, about that kiss, I shouldn’t have. But I couldn’t help myself. You were there, warm and distracting, being Benji.’
If he’d thought he was handling this situation with aplomb, he needed to think again. Now he felt gutted. And hurt. ‘I’m not going to drag you into my bed when we get back to our suite, if that’s what’s worrying you.’
‘I’m not worried about a thing, Ben. I’m apologising for not showing any restraint.’ Her chin tilted upwards and her eyes held his. ‘For not following up on your reaction to me.’
A direct hit. ‘I’m a red-blooded man. You’re a beautiful, sexy woman. It would’ve been rude of me not to react.’
She smiled.
If only there was more light for him to read her clearly. He thought he saw longing reflected in her gaze, but that could’ve been wishful thinking on his part. ‘We agreed to enjoy our time here, and it’s not always going to be easy for us. In more ways than one.’ He jammed his hands deep in his pockets and began walking again, moving more quickly than before. He needed to get to the hotel and his room so he could put some space between them. Not that it would be easy, knowing she was only through the door. He liked it that she hadn’t been totally in control. It was also best that she’d found some before they did go too far.
‘Want to walk all night?’ There was no way he’d be falling asleep tonight.
‘That’s a no from me.’ Her laugh warmed him all the way to his toes and did nothing to relieve the tension inside him.
CHAPTER NINE
TORI CLOSED HER emails, worry gnawing at her. Dean was not responding to the antibiotics he’d been given for his strep throat. His third strep throat in weeks.
‘What’s up?’ Ben strolled through from his room, looking good enough to eat with his shirt open, exposing his sculpted chest.
Do your buttons up. Now. Before I make an idiot of myself again. Bare chests and remaining impervious don’t go together, and it would be best for both of us if I remain aloof from you and your sexy body. Except... If we are finally being honest and open with each other, does it mean there is hope for us? As a couple again?
Her heart hammered in her chest. That would come with a load of logistical problems, but if they wanted it badly enough they could sort those.
Ben was looking at her strangely. What had she been talking about? A glance at her phone and she was back on track. ‘I’m worried about Dean. I put an assist device into his left ventricle before I came away.’ She clicked back into her mail and found the photo Dean had sent her days ago. ‘Look at him. The picture of health.’
‘So where’s the problem?’ Two steps closer to her and Ben’s aftershave was taunting her.
‘The other day I had him recalled after learning that he’s not sleeping. He’s got another strep throat. Not uncommon for Dean.’
‘Do you think he has another underlying problem?’ Ben asked.
‘It’s possible. Or the procedure hasn’t worked properly and we have to repeat it.’ She moved across the room to put space between them. That masculine scent followed her. Her body ached from lack of sleep. Or was it the tossing and turning she’d done while fighting the urge to visit Ben in his bed? Only the sensible part of her brain had kept her in her own bed. ‘Maybe I should go home early.’
Ben crossed to stand directly in front of her, his very presence forcing her to look up. Those eyes that had drilled her brain all night were filled with concern. For her? ‘Is that really what you want to do? You don’t trust your staff to get this right?’
Her spine stiffened. ‘Of course I know the others can handle it, but I feel responsible. Dean’s parents moved their family from Dunedin to Auckland so I could treat their son. I should be there for them.’
‘Tori, you don’t have to take on guilt for a decision they made. That will only wear you down.’
‘You might be right but that doesn’t make it any easier.’ The time and effort she put into her patients did take its toll. This was the first real break she’d had since opening the clinic.
&nb
sp; ‘Why don’t you arrange for the parents to come online to talk to you while the other doctors are with them?’
‘Good idea.’ She was all out of those at the moment. Tiredness and the mammoth distraction Ben was to her equilibrium had knocked her for six. And she still wanted to kiss him again.
‘I could listen in, if that’s a help.’
‘Would you? I’d like that.’ Togetherness.
‘Set up a time now.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘If the parents are there we’ve still got an hour before we have to leave for the hospital.’
‘That might be rushing things. Dean’s parents live on the North Shore. But we could talk to Conrad now anyway.’ She stepped around him, maintaining that distance she needed between them, and quickly sent an email to Conrad. Only minutes passed before Conrad’s face was filling her screen.
Tori introduced the men. ‘Conrad, Ben Wells is a cardiac surgeon in London.’ She saw the man blink when she gave Ben’s surname. He’d be able to put two and two together and come up with some answer close to the truth. ‘Ben’s done lots of these procedures.’
Ben leaned forward. ‘Hello, Conrad. Do you mind if I ask a few questions about Dean’s health? Tori has filled me in on the procedure and it sounds as though it was straightforward with no complications.’
‘Go ahead. I should tell you Dean is showing similar symptoms to those he presented before we operated.’
Tori tried to lean sideways, away from Ben, but it didn’t work. Too far from Ben meant too far from the screen. ‘It’s not post-op exhaustion, is it?’
‘Is the wound completely healed?’ Ben asked.
‘There’s no inflammation. Dean says the pain’s gone. But he’s wide-awake and totally exhausted at the same time. His mum is beside herself with worry.’ Conrad looked equally worried. ‘I’ve requested bloods and microbiology to see if he’s got an infection at the operation site.’