“There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Love isn’t something that’s supposed to make us feel ashamed.”
“But I let myself fall for him, Mom. It’s embarrassing.”
“I know it is right now, but you still have nothing to be ashamed of. Just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean your feelings weren’t real. I mean, look at your father and me.” She grinned ruefully, shaking her head. “Ahh, I know it’s hard for you to believe this, but there was a time when we were crazy about each other. When we didn’t fight constantly. We were really, truly in love. And just because it ended the way it did, doesn’t erase those feelings. That would be a terrible shame, wouldn’t it?”
“It would.”
“You might wish you never felt that way,” she said, nodding. “I used to. I used to wish I never met him. But then I wouldn’t have you. And I wouldn’t have the memory of when times were good. I can’t pretend I would erase the memory if I had the chance. Just like I’m sure you wouldn’t erase the memory of Max if you had a chance to do it.”
I wanted to disagree with her, but it was no use. She was always right, as I’d come to understand the older I got. Wouldn’t thirteen-year-old me be disappointed? “You’re right. I wouldn’t.”
“You know you can stay as long as you need, right?”
“Can I just stay forever?”
She shook her head. “Afraid not. You can’t hide from life forever.”
“Ugh. You sound so much like a mom right now.”
“It’s an occupational hazard.”
“Mom, something has always bothered me.”
“What”
“Why do you think Grandma left the apartment to me and not you?”
She shrugged. “You sure you want to know?”
I frowned. What new surprises would I have to deal with today? “Of course.”
“Your grandma had a gift. She never spoke about it, but when we were kids she used to sometimes use it.”
“What gift?” I whispered.
“She knew things. She would say, Oh, Uncle Ermine must be sick and then we would get news that Uncle Ermine was indeed sick. Sometimes she’d say, oh, I think Fleur might come to visit today and sure enough Fleur would come. Mind you these were the days before the internet. Three days before her father passed away she knew and she began picking wild flowers for his funeral. She was only five years old then.”
“Wow. Really?” I breathed.
Mom nodded. “The reason she wanted you to have the apartment was that she said the most important thing that would ever happen to you would happen when you were living there. She almost wrote it into her will that you couldn’t sell it during your lifetime.”
I stared at mom in astonishment.
Mom patted my hand gently. “She didn’t want me to tell you because she didn’t want you to change your behavior in any way, but she was very old at that time and I don’t know if her gift was still strong. She could have been wrong.”
I looked at my mother bitterly. “I guess she was wrong. The apartment has brought me my greatest hurt and betrayal. I don’t know if I can ever trust another man again, Mom.”
“Oh, darling. If you want to sell that apartment and move on you can. I know, if she could see you now, she wouldn’t expect you to live there. She just wanted what was best for you.”
There was nothing like being home with Mom when my heart hurt. Running home to be with Mommy should be a requirement for all people trying to act like grownups. Sometimes, being a grown up hurt too much. When I went up to my old room I almost wished my Barbie Dream House were still there so I could really regress.
She even made me instant mac and cheese for lunch on Sunday because she knew me that well and was pretty much the best mother on the planet. We watched old movies like we used to when I was a kid and things at home were good. I couldn’t help remembering when I teased Max about watching them. It would be a while before every little thing didn’t remind me of him.
I told myself to stop watching the clock since all that did was remind me that every passing minute put me one minute closer to needing to go home. The thought of running into Max nauseated me. I didn't know what he'd want from me, and I sure didn't know how I'd keep living there with the knowledge that he was on the other side of the floor. I couldn't exactly get away with egging his door or leaving burning dog poop in the hall. He'd sort of know it was me. And I'd have to smell the burning poop, too, so that was another mark in the negative column.
He didn’t even try to call. That was the worst part. He knew my number. He’d texted me in the past. He didn’t try to text after I left. Was he really that willing to let go of me? Even Josh had tried to reach out, for God’s sake.
The light outside dimmed, and I looked out the window to see clouds rolling in. It was only fitting, considering my mood. I could go for a good storm just then.
“I’m going to get dinner started,” Mom announced.
“What’s for dinner?”
“What do you think?”
“Spaghetti and meatballs?”
She nodded with a smile. “I know my girl.”
“I’m going to ask again. Can I just stay here forever?”
“And again I have to say no,” she replied. “This is special occasion-level stuff. Any other night and we’d have sandwiches and soup.”
“Blargh.” I stuck my tongue out at her. She was still chuckling as she walked into the kitchen from the neat, cheerful little living room. I’d lived there with her after the divorce, which made it tough to spend time in the city. I loved going to my grandmother’s home when my parent were fighting, but Mom’s house would always mean love to me. Hence my running there when somebody hurt me.
The difference between it and the Fields Estate was staggering, but I’d rather be in a little two-bedroom on Long Island. Especially when nobody there had lied to me.
I thought I might have heard the cushions sigh in relief as my butt left the couch for the first time all day to return to my apartment.
Mimi
I was sitting on my couch pouring my shattered heart out to Megan when the doorbell rang.
“You expecting anybody?” Megan asked as I got off the couch.
“No,” I said. I lived in an apartment building. There was no such thing as random people at the door. I put my eye to the spy hole in the door and flew backward in shock.
“Who is it? Is it him?” Megan asked.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“You have knives in the kitchen, right?”
“That’s very helpful, Megan.”
The bell went again and I jumped.
“Aren’t you going to answer it?”
I debated on opening the door, honestly. Should I? Or should I leave him swinging in the wind? And why was he there?
“Yeah, I’ll call you back,” I said and flung the door open before I could talk myself out of it. And there he was, standing there looking absolutely gorgeous.
“What do you want?” I barked as I folded my arms, and glared at him. Really, I was only trying to protect myself. I closed myself off physically to remind myself to close off emotionally. I couldn’t let him in, even though my heart wanted to reach out to him. He looked so damn handsome. How was that even remotely fair? Meanwhile, I was wearing the same leggings and sweatshirt I’d slept in and my hair hadn’t been brushed all day, just thrown up in a bun.
I saw red. I mean I didn’t even think I just reacted. It was like a wall of fury just slammed into my brain. My hand shot out and I slapped him so hard my hand hurt. For a second he went absolutely still then he moved.
So fast, I didn’t have time to move.
He picked me up, threw me unceremoniously over his shoulder, and carried me to my bedroom kicking, screaming, and punching his back with my clenched fists. I might as well not have bothered for all the attention he paid me. He kicked open my bedroom door and it slammed hard against the wall. He threw me on the bed and looked down at me.
I
looked up at him breathing hard, hating him. “Get out of my apartment, you shitty bastard,” I yelled.
Suddenly he fell on me pinning me down. I opened my mouth to scream and he silenced me with the palm of his hand. I tried to bite his palm but could find no purchase.
He stared into my eyes.
I struggled hard until there was no energy left in any of my limbs and I went slack. Tears of frustration welled up in my eyes and streamed down the sides of my face. He raised his palm and I opened my mouth to scream again.
This time he covered my mouth with his own.
It was a kiss like nothing he had ever given me before. It was full of aggression, and anger, and passion. The more I tried to stay unaffected the harder he kissed me. He forced his tongue past my lips and swept it into my mouth looking for mine. He hooked my tongue, took into his own mouth and sucked it hard. Eventually, I became lost in his kiss and my hands curled around his neck.
He lifted his head. “I didn’t mean to lie to you.”
“You still did.”
He caught my hands and pinned them over my head.
“Let go of me, you monster,” I said struggling against the band of steel around my wrists.
Holding my wrists above my head, he grabbed my shirt and tore it open.
“Fuck you,” I said fiercely, but I didn’t want him to stop. My stomach leaped with excitement.
“I plan to,” he growled thickly and ripped the lace on my bra making my breast pop out. He bit the tip. I swore, then moaned with intense pleasure as he began to suck it.
His hand slid between my legs. My body was screaming for him. I heard my panties tear, and then with his eyes never leaving me, he unbuckled his pants, a feral look in his eyes.
A moan of anticipation left my lips. He spread my thighs with his knee, and entered me with such force I shot up on the bed and screamed. It was as though we were fucking for the first time. My pussy was so tight and clenched, even he looked surprised. “This is the last fucking time you run away from me,” he said and pulling out of me thrust in again.
“Did you hear me?” Thrust.
“Fuck you,” I spat.
“You’re mine and you don’t run away no matter what.” Thrust.
“Oh God…you, you lied to me.”
“You don’t know that. You didn’t hear my side of the story.” Thrust.
I opened my mouth to speak and he put his palm over my mouth “Don’t say another word until you’ve heard my side. Do you understand?”
I nodded silently. He took his palm off my mouth and I lost myself to one of the most amazing sex sessions of my life. It was just primal lust. We were both wild and ruthless. He gave no quarter; I asked for none. He bit me, I scratched his back. It was just hard thrusts and the kind of climax where it felt like an explosion in my soul. I clung to his shoulders and screamed my head off. And he let me. Why not? We had the whole building to ourselves.
His cock was still semi-hard and inside me when I turned my head to the side. I hated that I lost control. That I let him into my body when he had betrayed me.
“Now get off me,” I panted harshly.
Mimi
“No. Not until I’ve said what I wanted to say.”
“You’ve already said everything I need to know in WASP heaven.”
“No, if you remember, I didn’t get to say anything. You packed and left.”
“Oh, right. I bet I’m supposed to think this is cute, huh? The man who’ll stop at nothing to get to me. You don’t see how shitty it looks from my side. Invading my privacy just so you can get the last word, far away from your cronies.” I rolled my eyes. “Sorry if I don’t swoon.”
“Really, Mimi? That is what you think this is all about? Me getting the last word.”
“Isn’t it?”
“I don’t give a shit what they or anybody else thinks about me. I do what I want to do. Alex is your boss not mine. I let you go because I didn’t want to spoil it for you. I knew you were determined to make a scene and I didn’t want to give them anything to gossip about. Eventually, those people are going to be your friends too. Besides, I wanted this to end with a screaming orgasm worth of an empty building.”
I turned my head away, feeling confused. His words were making me think he wanted to be with me, and when I looked at him, it was too hard to stay level-headed. “Okay, so you’re here. What do you have to say?”
He touched my cheek gently and I closed my eyes so that he couldn’t see how much I wanted that.
“There’s so much.”
“Start at the beginning and hurry up about it,” I said between gritted teeth. I was fast losing control of the situation.
“Okay, fine. I wanted to tell you about the development that first night.”
“Bullshit,” I spat.
“See? I can’t talk to you if you’re gonna shut me down like that.” His voice was firm.
“Fine. I won’t interrupt.”
“I wanted to tell you. I thought it would only be right. I felt like an ass. Like I was lying by omission.”
“Because you were.”
“Because I was,” he agreed. “But you were so drunk, and then you started crying. I wasn’t gonna be like, hey, by the way, I’m actually the guy who wants you out of your apartment. If you were me, would you have said it then?”
“No.”
“Exactly because contrary to what you think I’m not that much of a dick.”
I looked at him out of the corner of my eye.
“I don’t know, Mimi. You did something to me that night.”
“What did I do to you? Please, don’t lie to me right now. I can’t take it.”
“I’m telling you the truth. Before I met you, I mean really met you that night, I thought you were a gorgeous pain in the ass. You were holding me back from going ahead with my plans. I had no time for your stupid stubbornness. You were rejecting offers that were well above market price, but when I met you. I started to respect you. Most of the people I know are so rich all they have is money. You had everything. You were funny and smart, and kind, and sexy and beautiful. I liked you from that night on. You were a real person.”
“Jeez, I was finally a real person. I wish I had known. I would’ve bought a card to congratulate myself,” I babbled because I didn’t know how else to respond.
“So that’s what happened.”
“I feel like we’re skipping a really important part of this story.”
“What?”
I finally turned my head to look at him. “The part where you never told me the truth after that. You had so many chances to come clean, Max. Why didn’t you ever tell me the truth?”
“Honestly?”
“Jesus, Max.”
“Because I wanted you to like me, too. I wanted you to get to know me as a person and not some nameless villain. Hell, especially when I knew how much the apartment meant to you. I figured if you got to know me and liked me…”
“You could seduce me out of my apartment.”
“No. You would understand why I was working on getting you out of there in the first place. You would, I don’t know, forgive me or something. But the more time that passed, the worse it got.”
“My heart breaks for you right now.”
“I’m serious.”
“Me too.”
He shook his head. “All right. I’m a dick. Does that make you feel better? I said it. I’m a dick.”
“Yes, Max. That makes me feel so much better. Wow. Thank you. You can go now.”
I was still furious and more embarrassed than ever. “You were just using me, no matter how you try to spin it. Trying to get me to like you. It was all a big lie. You played up what was happening between us so I’d like you more. You were being fake all the time, is that it? Just faking me out just to get my apartment.”
“No! You don’t understand anything. I don’t want your apartment. I’ve already had designs drawn up around your apartment.”
“Good for you,�
�� I said sarcastically.
“You still don’t get it. I don’t care about any of that. I’m in love with you, Mimi Young.”
I stared at him in shock. “What did you say?”
He grinned. “I said, I’m in love with you.”
“Oh.” My heart pounded a mile a minute. I swallowed hard. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out.”
I looked him in the eye, searching for the truth. He looked sincere. He sounded sincere, too. His face was full of what looked like hope and anticipation combined.
“Do you mean it?” I asked. “I mean, really? You’re not just saying that so I’ll give you a blowjob?”
His eyes popped open. “Will you?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know. I might.”
He placed one hand over mine, right over my heart. “I mean it. I started to fall for you from that first night. I told myself it was just lust, but it wasn’t, and I’ve been working my ass off since then to get you to feel the same way.” He shrugged. “It’s lame. I know it is. But that’s what happened.”
I took a deep breath, cold air filling my lungs. “Wow. But I was so drunk.”
“You were mega drunk,” he smirked. “And mega cute and sexy and a phenomenal kisser. That helped, too. I’m crazy about you.”
I smiled, still sure I was dreaming. But no, it was too vivid for a dream. I could feel the weight of his hard body, and the scent of his cologne mixed with our coupling. His hand was warm, and my heart raced so hard I could have sworn my chest would burst.
“I love you,” I whispered, terrified and elated and relieved to finally let it out.
His face lit up, a smile spreading from ear to ear. “You do?”
“Why do you think I was so upset last night? That wasn’t because of an apartment, or because you lied. It was because I’m totally, stupidly in love with you.”
Anything I was about to say was cut off by his kiss. I threw my arms around him and kissed him back.
He loved me. He loved me!
I touched my forehead to his, breathing deep, wanting to take that moment and hold it in my heart forever.
Kissing Booth Page 34