In any case, if they did meet again, and he found out who she was, there was a good chance that he would treat her the same way Flora had been treated by the marquess. It was a sad thought, but it was a possibility. Beth couldn’t stop thinking about that scenario. The more she had it on her mind, the more she was sure that it would happen like that.
Beth had seen how crushed Flora had been when she was rejected. She didn’t want it to happen to her. Perhaps it was better just to chalk it up to an experience that would never happen again and move on.
Move on. Easier said than done. That man was not easy to forget. Beth didn’t think she would be forgetting him anytime soon.
She was resigned to the fact that maybe she would never find someone who could love her for her. Not with Flora’s scandal and their financial ruin hanging over her head. That put off anyone who considered her a potential wife. It was unfair that everything in the family had to come with her, but that was life. Life was never fair, even to the kindest of people. Beth had witnessed it unfold in front of her eyes.
Even after getting back for lunch from her long walk with Flora, Beth still couldn’t stop thinking about her predicament. Was it a predicament? It shouldn’t be, seeing as Beth wasn’t going to do anything about it. She wasn’t going to seek him out. But he just wouldn’t leave her alone. Every time Beth tried to turn her thoughts to something else, he would turn up like a rash. He just would not go away.
What made it even worse was that Beth didn’t even know his name. She was being tormented by the image of a gorgeous man who could kiss like those in her dreams, and she didn’t know what he was called, or what title he had.
Life was strange like that. Beth was experiencing it close-up, and she didn’t like it.
After lunch, which was a quiet affair, Beth went into the library and settled in her usual place by the window. The window was open, and she could look out into the gardens when she needed to rest her eyes. It was a beautiful day, the library nicely warmed from the sun. It made the colour in the gardens look even deeper. Beth liked to look out and see the scenery outside. The summer was beautiful, but she did love the winter when it snowed. Everything was white. Undisturbed snow was stunning.
But everything had to be disturbed at some point. Always disturbed. Much like Beth’s cautious behaviour. It left her on an uneven keel, and Beth didn’t know how to get back to how things were.
That man had unnerved her. Beth didn’t like the sensation. She just wanted to be left alone. If only things could be left untouched.
“Beth?”
Beth jumped and almost dropped her book. Edward was sitting in his chair by the empty fireplace, an open book on his lap with his legs crossed. He was looking at her curiously over the top of his eyeglasses. Beth caught hold of her book before it toppled to the ground, pressing a hand to her racing heart.
“Father! You scared me!”
“Surely you knew I was here?”
“No, I didn’t.” Beth took a deep breath. “I didn’t realize you were in here.”
Edward grunted.
“I thought you would have noticed. I came in here half an hour ago and spoke to you before I sat down.”
“Did you?”
Now Beth felt awful. She prided herself in being attentive and aware of everything around her. But she was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she couldn’t even notice when her own father walked into the room.
Was this what it had been like for Flora when she was thinking about the duke’s son? She was so engrossed in thinking about him that she forgot everything else? Beth wouldn’t be surprised if that was Flora’s position, but it shouldn’t be with her. She was not a dreamy person; she was practical. This was not her at all.
“Forgive me, Father,” Beth mumbled, aware that her face was getting warm in her embarrassment. “It’s not very becoming.”
“I’m not cross at you, Beth. If anything, I envy you.” Edward sighed, rubbing his hand over his balding head. “It would be nice to go off into a different world. Away from the one we’re currently residing in. I hope your world is a lot more interesting than this one is at this current moment.”
Beth wasn’t so sure about that. She looked at her unopened book in her hands.
“It wasn’t really another world, Father. I’m just turning things over.”
“What sort of things?”
“I’m not really sure. I’m not coming up with any type of solution, and it’s getting me a headache.”
“Want another mind to help you?” Edward asked. He closed his book and put it to one side before sitting forward. “Two heads are better than one. We’ve always done it before.”
They had. Edward and Beth were close. Growing up, it had been Edward who Beth had turned to for anything. Cynthia had always joked about their bond, and it was unbreakable. Beth could only hope that it wouldn’t break because of Beth’s silly mistake in Vauxhall Gardens. She knew her father was not going to be happy – he hadn’t been when Flora’s indiscretions came to light – and she was not looking forward to this.
She would have to tell him whether she wanted to or not. It would be better that it came from her and not somebody else.
“I don’t think this is something you can help me with, Father.”
“How do you know if you don’t try?”
“I do know.” Beth bit her lip and glanced quickly over at her father. “You’re going to be furious when I tell you.”
“Tell me what?” Edward’s smile was beginning to fade. Now he looked worried. “Beth, what have you done?”
Here it came. Beth squared her shoulders and took a deep breath.
“Flora and I went to Vauxhall Gardens for the Prince Regent’s celebrations.”
Beth didn’t want to look, but she watched as her father’s smile completely disappeared, shock replacing his expression.
“You what?”
“We weren’t there long,” Beth added hurriedly. “Flora wanted to go, and I wanted to make sure that she was going to be all right but we ... we got separated.”
She wasn’t about to say it was because Flora ran off from her. Edward looked like Beth had hit him over the head. He rubbed his hands over his face.
“I can understand Flora doing something that ridiculous, but you? You should’ve told me about it.”
“I apologize, Father,” Beth mumbled at her lap. “I should have said something when you were home last night.”
“You should have made sure Flora couldn’t leave.” Edward grunted. “And you shouldn’t have gone out with her. The Prince Regent’s company are not people you want to associate with. I don’t care who he is to the royal family or to this country, he is not a man you or Flora should be around.”
Beth winced. She knew her father would be unhappy about this, especially with his attitude towards Prince George, but she wished she didn’t have to be involved with it. She hated anyone upset at her.
“Tell me what happened.” Edward sat back and steepled his fingers together. “Something happened to you, didn’t it; otherwise, you wouldn’t be telling me this so long after the event.”
“It was only yesterday!”
“If it happened yesterday, and all you did was go to Vauxhall Gardens to keep an eye on your sister, you would have told me about it as soon as your mother and I got home. So that means something happened to you?” Edward raised his eyebrows. “Is it the reason you’re wearing a scarf and why you’re wearing more make-up than normal?”
He had noticed that. Then again, it would have been obvious to anyone. Beth wore minimal make-up, and she never wore a scarf in the middle of summer. Beth sighed and tugged it off. She saw her father’s eyes widen when he saw the bruises.
She told him everything, from losing Flora in the crowds to the man attempting to steal her purse to the gentleman who had claimed a kiss from her. She kept back the fact she had enjoyed the kiss or how much it felt for her. That was something she was never going to reveal to her father. He did
n’t need to know that.
When she finished, Edward was silent. He was looking at her like he had never seen her before. Beth found herself squirming on the window seat. She hated it when she saw her father like this. It had always been directed at other people, even at Flora. This was the first time it had been directed at her.
“Let me get this straight.” Edward stood and began to pace. “You went to Vauxhall Gardens to make sure that Flora was safe at something you two had strict instructions not to go to, and then you got separated. You were attacked while looking for her and then you were rescued by a gentleman.” His lips tightened. “This ... person ... took a kiss from you, and you don’t even know who he is?”
“That’s pretty much it, Father.”
Edward growled and swung around on her. Beth shrank back.
“Does he know who you are?”
“Just my Christian name. I never said who I was.”
“That’s something.” Edward grunted. He shook his head in disappointment. “But, Beth, really?”
“I know it’s not becoming of me, Father, and I know I shouldn’t have done it, but things were just …” Beth didn’t know how else to describe it. “In the heat of the moment.”
Heat of the moment. That sounded flimsy. Edward looked just as upset by the description. Beth wished the ground would open and swallow her up. She hated this.
“At least it was just a kiss,” Edward muttered. He resumed his pacing. “If word gets out that you’re also committing scandals in private lanes …”
“It won’t,” Beth said hurriedly. “Nobody saw us there, and I got away as soon as I could. Only you and Flora know what happened.”
“And the man, of course.”
Beth winced.
“How can he throw my name around and blacken my reputation if he only has my Christian name?”
“It is completely possible, although highly unlikely that he’s going to do that.” Edward shook his head. “Just be hopeful that we never have any run-ins with him in the future. Otherwise, he might find cause to call you the same things everyone is calling Flora. I won’t have it, and I won’t have it known that I can’t control either of my daughters.”
Chances were they weren’t going to cross paths again. If he was anything as Flora believed – a gentleman of high nobility – it was very unlikely that they were going to meet again. They were low enough down the social ladder that it shouldn’t make any difference. And Beth was not someone who liked going out enjoying various balls and dinner parties; she preferred to be at home reading a book or having a few select friends over. She wouldn’t be meeting him anytime soon.
But that wasn’t going to make her feel any better. Or make her father any better. He was disappointed in her, and Beth hated doing that to him. She looked at the floor.
“I can only apologize so much, Father. I let you down.”
Edward didn’t respond immediately. He made a growling noise, and there was a thump. Beth jumped and looked up to see Edward kicking the couch. Then he stomped to his chair and snatched up his book, glaring at his daughter.
“Just make me promise that whatever Flora does in future, you do not follow her,” he snapped. “You go straight to me or to Bartlett if I’m absent. We’ll take care of it.”
“Yes, Father.”
Edward’s lips tightened, and then he stormed out of the room. Beth flinched as he slammed the door behind him.
Chapter 5
Gerard stood at the back of the room and listened to his mother playing the piano the Marquess and Marchioness of Middlesex had in their drawing room. Amelia Thinesley had always been an avid music lover and had learned to play the piano when she was barely five years of age.
She had tried to urge Alexander and Gerard to play, but only Alexander had taken to it. Gerard preferred to listen; in his opinion, music was better when listened and appreciated than playing.
But he couldn’t deny that he always enjoyed listening to his mother play. She had long, slim fingers that practically danced across the keys. It was beautiful to hear, and Gerard found himself getting wrapped in it. It was like Amelia could create a story with her music. And everyone in the room was aware of it; they sat mesmerized by her.
Even Hermia, who was sat scowling in a corner, nursing a glass of water. Amelia had been adamant that Hermia made an appearance. She had just turned sixteen, and it wasn’t the height of the Season, so it was a perfect time for Hermia to get to know people. But Hermia clearly didn’t want to be here.
Gerard couldn’t blame her; he wasn’t keen on being in a room with a lot of people he would see in Parliament and their often ghastly wives. He preferred to be at home with his children, or in the general vicinity. He did admit that he didn’t spend much time with them and that he wasn’t entirely sure how to talk to them.
Maybe this summer would be a time to change that.
Amelia finished her piece and stood up with a flourish to an enthusiastic round of applause. The Marquess of Middlesex approached her and bowed, saying something to her that made the dowager duchess laugh. Gerard headed through the crowd, who were now gushing to each other about the performance, and reached his mother with a smile.
“That was beautiful, Mother,” he declared, kissing her cheek.
“Thank you, kind sir.” Amelia laughed. “I’m glad you can appreciate my piano skills.”
“You’ve always been an excellent player, Mother. I’ve never said otherwise.”
“You always told me to stop when you were younger.”
Gerard burst out laughing.
“You mean that time when you decided to play so early in the morning that you woke me up? I was nine, Mother! That was twenty-five years ago!”
“There was still a time when you didn’t like it,” Amelia pointed out, her eyes twinkling.
Gerard groaned and wagged a finger at her.
“You need to stop fishing for compliments, Mother. You don’t need to do that.”
Amelia laughed and took her son’s arm, giving it a firm squeeze.
“I never fish for them. I don’t need to.”
Gerard had to agree on that. Sixty years old, and Amelia Thinesley was still a very handsome-looking woman. She could still turn men’s heads when she entered the room and not just with her appearance. She was graceful, talented, and kind. Gerard had turned to her for support after Allegra’s death, and Amelia had been a good shoulder to cry on.
When she wasn’t talking about Gerard getting married again. That talk had been going on for the last three months since Gerard came out of mourning. It hadn’t happened for the best part of a week, and Gerard had hoped she had backed down and decided to leave him alone.
He could only hope.
“Oh, look!” Amelia said in a loud whisper, tugging his arm. “It’s Annalise Holmes, the Earl of Taunton’s daughter, over there! I thought I recognized her.”
Gerard bit back a sigh. He had noticed Annalise as soon as he entered with his mother and daughter. She had made a point of being openly present whenever he turned around. It was like she was parading herself for him, giving him pretty smiles and suggestive looks.
Gerard knew what she was up to, and he didn’t like it.
“I didn’t realize she would be here tonight,” Amelia said. “Her parents said they were going to be in Somerset for the summer.”
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