by R. K. Lilley
Lacey explained again about the memorial bench to her mother, what they needed to do, and how she was planning to do it.
There was no sign that Celeste was listening, but Lacey forged ahead, too excited about the project to be dissuaded. “And we need to figure out what the plaque should say. Something from all of us,” she finished explaining to her mother, who had yet to look at her.
“What plaque?” her father asked from just inside the doorway of the bedroom.
Lacey hadn’t even heard him come in. She beamed at him. He couldn’t have chosen a better day to come home from work at a halfway normal hour.
She repeated her idea for a bench, hoping he’d like it.
“I think it’s amazing,” her father exclaimed, his smile making her chest feel warm. “I’m sure we can use the pharmacy to help get the word out. We could put out a collection jar or something at the registers. Just tell me how I can help. I’m so proud of you, sweetie, for coming up with something so thoughtful to keep Jacob’s memory alive.”
She felt her eyes tearing up, and for once it was with happy tears. She’d made her father proud. It meant the world to her. Maybe somehow her family would get through this intact. Maybe their loss wouldn’t always make them avoid each other. Maybe this would bring them all back together again.
“Thanks, Dad. I know we can do this if we all work together.”
That seemed to get through to her mother, only not in the way she’d hoped. Celeste’s bloodshot eyes shot to her husband, then to Sara Jane, then finally to Lacey. “This won’t bring him back, so what does it matter? Nothing will bring him back.” She closed her eyes, dismissing them all.
“Come on, girls,” their father said quietly. “Let’s take this downstairs and let your mother rest.”
Lacey tried to shake off what her mother had said. Surely, she’d come around, and in the meantime, she had her father and sister to help her, which made the idea seem more than manageable.
“We can go around and see which local businesses would like to be involved,” Sara Jane offered.
“Great idea,” Lacey told her. “Anna Mae and Rita Mae Prager already agreed to help.”
“I’ll print out some flyers tonight,” her sister said.
The three of them had moved into the dining room.
“I looked up a few different companies that do this sort of thing,” Lacey explained to her father and sister. “Three had pricing information on their websites, and the rest had online forms and are supposed to get back to us tomorrow with estimates. After that, we can decide which one of them to work with and how much money we need to raise.”
“You’ll need to talk with Zeke Johnson and get permission for the bench,” her father said.
“You don’t think he’ll say no, do you?”
“I think it’ll be fine. But you do have to ask. Anyway, it sounds like you’re well on your way to making this a reality.” Travis smiled. “I’m so proud of you both. Tell me what else I can do to help.”
“We all need to decide exactly what we should put on the plaque. I thought we could each add our own comments to describe him. I have mine.”
“What is it?” Sara Jane asked.
“Loving brother.”
They all shared a sad smile.
“What would you both like to add?” Lacey asked them.
“I want to put something about how giving he was,” Sara Jane offered. “He’d offer you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it. That’s just who he was.”
They all agreed on that.
“He was a dutiful son,” their father said, eyes downcast, words choked with emotion. “He always made us proud.”
Their dad was rarely emotional, and hearing his words had Lacey blinking back tears. She looked across the table at her sister, whose eyes were suspiciously bright. It was several minutes before anyone spoke again.
“This is a great start,” Lacey finally said, trying to keep her voice bright. “How about something like, ‘This bench is placed in honor of Jacob Salt. He was a loving brother, a generous friend, and he made his parents very proud.’ Is that good?”
“It’s wonderful.” Sara Jane nodded.
“It’s perfect.” Her father smiled.
CHAPTER FOUR
Anna Mae was getting ready for a date. A hot one. She smiled at the thought. She’d assumed she was immune to butterflies at her age, but they’d come back into her life at the same time as her long absent love, Chase.
Who knew they’d get another chance? Even she hadn’t realized she was still in love with the rambling musician until she’d seen him again.
They’d lost a lot of years, but she didn’t let herself linger on the wastefulness of that. Instead, she allowed herself to feel lucky. So lucky to get the love of her life back.
“Are you still primping and preening in there?” Rita Mae called out from the other side of the bathroom door. “You’ve become worse than a teenager, I swear!”
Anna Mae couldn’t hold in her giggle. Her sister was just ribbing her, but what made it more funny was that Rita Mae wasn’t wrong. She had been taking extra care with her hair and makeup for at least forty-five minutes, and Chase wasn’t even due to pick her up for another hour.
In her defense, they were driving out to a honky tonk in the next town over for their date, and she wanted to look particularly nice. This would be the first time in a lot of years that she’d gone out dancing, and she was as nervous as she was excited.
She couldn’t seem to stop fidgeting with her hair and touching up her makeup. It was silly, but when she was finally satisfied with how she’d fixed herself up, she felt the prettier for it.
“Look at you,” Rita Mae said when Anna Mae finally joined her sister in the kitchen. “Could you be any more full of yourself right now? Between helping Lacey Salt come up with that idea for her brother’s memorial and being mooned over by Chase Johnson every day and night, I’m not sure what to do with you anymore. That ego of yours hardly fits in this kitchen. And it’s a big ol’ kitchen.”
Anna Mae tried to hide her smile—her sister’s ornery sense of humor did not need to be encouraged—but she couldn’t quite keep it in.
“And now you’re going to a honky tonk? Don’t overdo it. I know you’ve forgotten lately, but you ain’t no spring chicken.”
“Oh, you’re one to talk,” Anna Mae shot back. The sisters shared a smile.
“You’re happy, aren’t you?” Rita Mae asked, her tone affectionate.
“I’ve always been happy. I love it here. This town and this house. And how lucky am I that I get to work with my best friend every day?”
Rita Mae waved that off. “Oh, I know, I know. But this is different. You’re giddy, insufferably cheerful, and you seem younger every time I look at you. Love! Gah!”
“Love,” Anna Mae agreed with a dreamy sigh she knew her sister couldn’t resist making fun of.
“Now I know I shouldn’t need to remind you of this, but I will just in case it’s been so long you’ve forgotten: Don’t be giving out the milk for free if you want him to buy the cow. If that was too cryptic for you, this will help—you’re the cow.”
They both laughed hard at that one.
Chase was prompt to pick her up, a few minutes early, in fact.
She thought he looked as handsome as he ever had in his snug-fitting jeans, denim shirt, and dark cowboy boots. She told him so.
He smiled, and she wondered if she was imagining it or if the smile was a tad strained.
“You look more beautiful than ever,” he replied, and she forgot every thought in her head.
“Flattery.” She waved him off.
He glanced behind her, tugged her outside, pulled the door shut, and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her silly for exactly ten seconds before the door reopened behind her and her sister’s voice rang out loudly, her tone cheeky, “My God, you two. Get a room!”
They broke apart with a laugh.
“Not flattery,�
� Chase told her as they filed into the house behind her sister. “Truth.”
She blushed like a schoolgirl.
They had dinner at the house with her sister. Anna Mae was determined to make sure her sister knew that she played as important of a role in her life as she ever had, and it was essential to her that Chase and Rita Mae get along.
So far, everything was going smoothly. Chase was quiet at dinner, and if she was being sensitive, she thought he was a bit withdrawn, but the sisters kept up a lively chat as the three of them devoured Rita Mae’s famous chicken fried steak and cream gravy, and Anna Mae’s famous corn bread.
“Thank you for the meal, ladies,” Chase said when his plate was nearly cleared. It was the most he’d spoken since his plate had been set in front of him. Anna Mae wasn’t sure if that was because he was so absorbed in the meal, or if he was just particularly quiet tonight. “This is positively sinful. I’d nearly forgotten how good your corn bread was, Annie.”
Anna Mae flushed in pleasure. “Thank you.”
“And your chicken fried steak is to die for, Rita Mae,” he said. “Best in Texas.”
“Only Texas?” she asked archly.
“Best I’ve had.”
It was Rita Mae’s turn to preen.
The drive to the honky tonk was quiet. So much so, about halfway there, Anna Mae felt the need to ask, “Is something wrong?”
He seemed to shake himself. “No. No, of course not. It was a lovely meal. Thank you. Your sister’s still a hoot. And you know I’ve been waiting ages to take you out dancing again. Suffice it to say I have been looking forward to this for a very long time.”
“I have too,” she said, smiling shyly in the dark interior of the truck.
Chase reached his right hand over, finding hers and linking their fingers together. “I’m happy, Annie. I want things to stay like this forever. Just like this.”
“Me too,” she said, her heart feeling heavier suddenly, because though his words had been wonderful, his tone was sad and a little lost, and she was reminded of the things she’d never told him, things she’d like to avoid telling him forever, but if this was going to work, she knew that she needed to come clean, to put some closure on the more painful parts of their shared past, and move forward with a fresh start.
Still, it was easy to convince herself to delay that talk for another day. Tomorrow, she told herself. Tonight I’ll let myself be carefree.
The dance hall was busy but not too crowded for the two of them to snag a table and order a couple of beers.
“I like this place,” Anna Mae said, looking around. There were couples of all ages, from her and Chase’s generation, down to the barely twenty-one crowd. “Great live music, but it’s not too loud, like some of those places used to be. And the crowd isn’t too wild. I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect, but I was worried it might be rowdy.”
“You haven’t been here before?” Chase asked her.
She laughed because he looked genuinely surprised. “You think I go out dancing often? Truth is, I haven’t been to a honky tonk in more years than I care to admit.”
Chase looked happy to hear that. Men. Contrary, possessive creatures.
“Well, that’s going to change. I remember how you dance, Annie, and it’s a downright shame to let those moves of yours go to waste for another day.”
“You silly man,” she told him, but she couldn’t stop smiling.
“You ready to dance?” he asked her.
She took a swig of beer. “Let me finish my drink,” she hedged, feeling suddenly nervous. It had been so long since she’d danced that she wasn’t sure she even remembered how.
“Don’t worry. You’ll pick it right up again. Like riding a bike.”
She rolled her eyes at that analogy. “You’re crazy if you think I’d try riding a bike at my age. I never was any good at balancing on one of those damned things.”
“But you were good at dancing, and you’ll get right into the swing of it as soon as we hit that floor. I promise.”
She swallowed the last of the beer. He held his arm out to her, and she took it, letting him lead her onto the dance floor.
He was right. It all came back to her with the first song. They moved together easily. Almost as if they had never been parted. They danced for a while, and she was having a great time. She could have kept going for hours, just like in the old days.
A few things surprised Anna Mae about the outing, though.
Chase had one beer and that was it, which was very uncharacteristic.
And he wanted to leave after only an hour.
She knew they weren’t as young as they used to be, obviously, but she’d been having fun. It felt like they’d just gotten started when he abruptly wanted to leave.
“I’m sorry,” he said simply. “It’s time for me to call it a night.”
“Already? Weren’t you having a good time?”
“I was, but I need to go.”
She agreed, because what else could she do?
The car ride back was mostly silent. And Chase seemed beyond tense. She wasn’t sure if she imagined it or not, but it seemed that in the dark his hands were shaking on the steering wheel.
“Are you okay?” she asked him.
“Fine. I just need to get some rest.”
“Have you not been sleeping well?” As it was only ten o’clock at night, she thought it was strange for him to be that tired.
“No. I have. It’s just been a long day.”
He parked the car in front of the B&B, just sitting there for a pregnant moment.
Anna Mae was waiting for him to come around and open her door, out of habit more than anything else. It was just something he’d always done.
Eventually she reached for the handle herself, but his words stopped her.
“Wait. We need to talk.”
“Okay,” she said slowly, tasting the word. He seemed so serious suddenly that she knew whatever he wanted to talk about couldn’t be good, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to hear anything bad.
They hadn’t had enough time together. Couldn’t it just be good for a little while longer?
But he was going to get whatever he had to say out whether she was ready or not, it was clear.
“There’s something I have to tell you,” he began. “It’s been weighing on me, and it’s something I can’t hide forever, even if I tried. I don’t want to tell you, but it’s past time. And if you feel differently about how you want to move forward after this…I mean if you change your mind about anything, I’ll understand. I will not hold it against you.”
“What on earth is this about?” she asked him, her mind jumping around to every awful possibility it could come up with.
Was he married? Had he left a wife, or worse an entire family, behind in Nashville?
She knew she was jumping to conclusions that were likely ridiculous, but things had just been too easy. Too good. So she was bracing herself for the worst.
“I haven’t been completely upfront with you,” he continued.
“You’re scaring me, Chase.”
“I’m not trying to do that. I’m trying to come clean.”
“That sounds even more ominous.”
“Just hear me out. I’m not the man I’ve presented myself to be, Annie. I’m not as…whole as I once was.”
“What on earth does that mean? You seem plenty whole to me.”
It was dark in the cab of the truck, but she could still see enough from the light streaming out of the house and into the driveway that he was staring at her with an intense sadness that had her gut clenching up tight in dread. “Just tell me,” she finally prompted him when he’d stayed silent for too long.
“I have Parkinson’s disease, Annie. Do you know what that is?”
She was no expert but she certainly knew what it was. Enough to be annoyed with him. “Yes, I do. That’s the something you’ve been keeping from me?” She couldn’t disguise the irritation in her voice.
“I know. It was wrong. I’m very sorry. You deserve so much more than broken down me. I never should have deceived you.”
“I can’t believe you!” she exclaimed.
“I have no excuse for myself,” he said, blinking rapidly, looking absolutely terrified. “I just missed you. And I love you. I’ll find a way to be enough for you, I promise.”
“Sometimes I could just throttle you!” The man made her want to scream at him and kiss him all at the same time.
“Excuse me?”
“Being sick doesn’t make you less whole. You honestly thought I wouldn’t want to move forward with you? Because you have Parkinson’s?”
His whole face lightened for a moment, and then the shadows were back. “It’s not pretty, sweetheart, and it’s only going to get worse.”
“I understand that. But did you really think I’d love you less for it?”
“I didn’t know what to expect. I just knew that it was wrong to let you commit yourself to me without telling you. I don’t deserve you, Annie.”
“That’s nonsense. What a silly way to look at it.” She reached for his hands, loving the feel of his calloused fingers against hers. “Do you know how lucky we are? We found each other again after all of these years. Do you think I’d still love you after all this if I thought you were unworthy? You’re the one that thinks that. Not me. And life is too damn short for you to do that to yourself. Look at Jacob Salt. That poor boy was barely grown and God took him from us. That could happen to anyone at any time, and it just goes to show how fleeting life can be even without your disease. Every day we have together is precious, and we can’t ever forget it.”
He took a very deep breath, his shaking hands clutching her steady ones. “You’re so right. I’m not letting you go. We’re in this for good, Annie. And I promise I won’t keep anything from you ever again.”
Just like that, Anna Mae’s agitation turned to something else. Guilt. She was no better than he when it came to keeping big secrets, and this was apparently the time to come clean, because if she didn’t do it now, she might not work up the nerve again.
“I have something to tell you, as well,” she said quietly.