by Nix Knox
“Most of my eyebrow is gone.” Lifting his attention from the mirror to the doctor, Noah asked. “It’s not going to grow back, is it?”
“No. But there are ways to minimize the way it looks.”
Noah was still struggling with the idea that Ronan had wanted to kiss him, let alone do anything else. He looked like a lumpy black-and-blue baseball with one good eye. In that moment, sitting there in the doctor’s office, pondering his own horribly misshapen face, Noah realized Ronan really did love him. It wasn’t about his looks at all. That might have attracted him, but that certainly wasn’t what kept him coming back to the hospital after he’d rejected him so soundly.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Ronan took the mirror away and pulled Noah into his arms. “The swelling will go down.”
Noah clung to him while he cried. After being so careful not to show any affection around his parents, he discovered he simply didn’t care. He needed to feel Ronan’s strength. He needed to feel his unconditional love. True to form, Ronan didn’t disappoint. He held on to Noah while he wept. When the tears stung his face, Ronan handed him a tissue. Unable to stop crying for everything he’d lost, from the profound to the trivial, Noah just let his frustration and fear out. When he finally cried his last, he pulled away, expecting to see his parents’ disapproval.
Noah was stunned to discover they looked upon him and Ronan with nothing but compassion. For some reason, the fact he was able to literally see their acceptance gave him more hope than he ever thought he’d have. He and Ronan really could be together without him having to choose between Ronan and his family. For the first time since everything started, Noah actually believed he could put his life back together better than it had been before. Hope took away the sting of loss, making Noah ready to move forward.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Ronan held on to the seat below his bare cheeks.
“Positive.” Noah’s eye gleamed. He didn’t need to wear his eye patch all the time, but Ronan asked him to wear it tonight because he found it unbelievably sexy. “Do you trust me?”
“I do.”
“You can’t move unless I let you.”
“I know the drill.” Ronan tightened his grip.
“Drill being the operative word.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to do this in a more romantic way?” Ronan looked around at the playroom. The only thing in the entire space was a very specifically designed chair. Well, that and their two naked bodies. Smooth varnish made the wooden chair feel cool when he’d first sat down but now he felt overwarm. Designed to enable the easy straddling of the person sitting, the chair made what Noah had in mind much easier to accomplish.
“I’m positive. I’ve dreamed of this.” Noah grabbed a bottle of lube and coated Ronan’s cock liberally. As he stroked over Ronan’s prick, Ronan noticed that Noah’s hand wasn’t steady.
“Nervous?”
“Excited.”
Just knowing what was coming made Ronan a breath away from madness. Lust and longing had turned him into an animal barely able to cling to his humanity. The only thing keeping him stuck to his chair was the fact that if he moved, Noah would start all over. Each time he defied the negotiated scene, Noah would begin again. That would make his torment worse. So Ronan stayed put. Besides, he would never tell Noah how arousing he found the anticipation.
“I wish I could tie you up.” Since Noah still had occasional seizures, they had forgone any bindings.
“We’ll be able to do that soon.”
“I guess I’ll just have to take your word that you can control yourself.”
“I can.”
“We’ll see.” As soon as Noah had Ronan slicked up, he set the lube aside and straddled Ronan’s lap while facing him. The narrow seat of the chair made the action much easier.
“Slowly.”
“Don’t be a backseat driver.” Noah stroked Ronan’s cock up and down the split of his ass. Once he had himself slicked up, Noah settled Ronan’s prick against his hole and slowly sank down. “Oh, God.”
“That’s what I was going to say.” Ronan clung even harder to the wooden seat. He wanted to grasp Noah’s hips and help him move, but he didn’t. Not only had he given his word, but this was Noah’s way of asserting himself. The luscious irony didn’t escape Ronan. Noah was in charge of giving his virginity to Ronan. It made perfect and even wonderful sense. Over and again, Noah had learned the amazing satisfaction of taking charge.
“And to think I thought those toys felt good.”
“They didn’t?” Ronan had helped Noah to prepare by increasing the size of the toys that he could take. When he thought he was ready, they’d set up tonight.
“They did. But not as good as you feel.” Noah’s head rolled back, indicating he was in ecstasy. “You’re hot. And I can feel your blood pulsing. And—” Noah lowered his chin until he was peering into Ronan’s eyes. “It’s different, because it’s you.”
“Kiss me.”
Noah complied with wanton eagerness. The deeper Ronan’s cock went into the tight heat of Noah’s ass, the deeper their kiss became. Like hungry animals, keen to find the pinnacle, they moved together.
“You’re not supposed to be rocking your hips,” Noah chastised him.
“I can’t help myself. You feel so good, Noah. If Zen had a feeling, this would be it. Perfect, beautiful bliss.”
“Damn you and your romantic tongue.” Noah stroked his hands from Ronan’s shoulders down his arms. “Help me.”
Ronan didn’t have to be told twice. Lifting his hands, he cupped Noah’s hips. His skin was cool and soft while the feel of his bones below was strong. Working together, they finally got all of Ronan’s cock buried.
“Wait.” Noah placed his forehead against Ronan’s.
“Are you hurt?”
“I just want to feel this moment. I want to remember this forever.”
So they sat in perfect stillness with their bodies as intimately entwined as possible. Ronan couldn’t remember a time when he’d been so thoroughly enmeshed with another. He knew then he would never have this with anyone else. That thought made him happier than he’d ever been.
After a long time, Noah began to move. Clearly, he wasn’t in any hurry. Rather than move up and down, he rolled his hips in a circle, kissing Ronan as he squirmed in his lap. It was beyond sensual. Each circle Noah made twisted his body gently around Ronan’s cock. By pulling him tight against his belly, Ronan provided a firm surface into which Noah pressed his cock.
“I won’t last.” Ronan was struggling to hang on.
“I won’t either.” Noah danced a little faster, compelling Ronan to flex his hips and tighten his grip until they were rocking against each other.
“I love you, Noah.”
“I love you—oh!” Noah clamped down on Ronan, gripping his cock as he spurted against his belly.
Ronan climaxed as he kissed Noah over and over. He’d never gone without a condom. The sensation was more intense than he could have imagined. Twitching and gasping, they clung together, waiting for the shakes to abate. When they did, Noah pulled back so he could look at Ronan.
“And now I’m a virgin no more.”
“Do you feel different?”
“I still have your cock inside me. Of course I feel different.”
“I meant did you have a transcendent experience.”
“I think so. I think I’m addicted now.”
“That’s good.”
“It is?”
“It is for me.” Ronan laughed, jostling Noah.
“I think it is for me, too.”
“And you know it goes both ways. The addiction thing, I mean.” Ronan kissed Noah gently. “I’m never letting you go.”
“Never?”
“Nope. Not ever.”
“I want to get married.”
Ronan pulled back.
“You don’t want to?”
“I do. I just—are you ask
ing?”
“I am.” Noah grinned. “Someone should make an honest man out of you.”
“Someone should.” Ronan rose to his feet with Noah holding on to his shoulders.
“Where are you taking me?”
“To our bedroom. I want some romance with my proposal.”
“I guess I could have worked a little harder on that.”
“It’s okay. You can fuck me really hard, so hard that I forget, and then you can ask again.”
“Well, I’ll certainly try. Or at least I will after we have a quick nap.”
“Good idea.”
They got into bed, but rather than doze, they talked.
“You know, I think my mom would love to help me plan a wedding. She was always sad that she didn’t have a daughter to do that for.”
“How big of a wedding are you planning on?”
“Huge. Hundreds and hundreds of people.”
Ronan swallowed hard.
“You really don’t like that idea, do you?”
“It shows?”
“Your cock deflated so fast it practically went back inside your body.”
Ronan laughed. “If you really want a big wedding, I suppose we can compromise.”
“I don’t.”
“Oh, thank God.”
Noah laughed. “I just wondered what you’d do if I suggested it.”
“Freak out and then probably go through with it to make you happy.”
“Aw.” Noah kissed him. “I’d actually like something small. Remember that hike we took? I think it would be perfect to exchange vows there.”
“I do, too.” Ronan had always found peace in that particular spot. “Do you want to exchange rings?”
“I’m not much into jewelry.”
“Me, either.” Ronan considered. “I have an idea.”
“Oh?”
“Let me work on it.”
Noah tried everything he could to get the information out of Ronan, but nothing would get him to give up what he was planning. Eventually, they got out of bed, showered, made dinner, but as soon as they were back between the sheets, Noah was back to using his wiles to get information out of Ronan.
“I don’t think you really want to know. You just want to bang me.”
“Damn. You caught me out.” Noah pressed him into the bed, then straddled his hips.
Rather than rush into marriage, they decided to wait a year. A good long engagement should tell them everything they needed to know. During that time, Noah’s eye continued to heal. He was never able to see clearly out of it again, but that didn’t stop him from moving forward. After he remained seizure-free for six months, he got his driver’s license back. The only modification he had to make to his car was the addition of fisheye mirrors to help him compensate for the lost peripheral vision.
Instead of going back to school to study aviation, which would be a difficult field for him to go far in considering his dual handicap of potential seizures and vision in only one eye, Noah took a part-time job as an accountant and went back to school to study whatever interested him. He decided he’d play the educational field until he found something he loved. If he never did, he decided that was okay, too.
Ronan fell in love with him more each day. Noah’s strength impressed him, but it was his perseverance that really captivated his heart. Noah didn’t give up. He kept pushing to learn more, to try new things, and to find out what it was that he could call his passion. Watching him discover himself gave Ronan vicarious joy. He had his passions, but he discovered more because of Noah’s enthusiasm. Together they tried everything from stargazing to Shakespeare to ceramics.
As Noah’s family grew more accustomed to Ronan, they spent more time together. They even had dinner over at his parents’ house, and they came to Ronan and Noah’s. Ronan was careful to lock the playroom. He didn’t think they would snoop, but he thought it was better to be safe rather than sorry. When they asked, Noah told them it was Ronan’s workroom. All his art supplies were scattered around in there, and he didn’t want anyone to know how messy he really was. Ronan was a little surprised when they accepted that explanation so easily.
Noah’s brother Henry got the call to serve in Italy. He was ecstatic. Odonna was less than thrilled but still relieved, as it could have been somewhere dangerous. Jonah was so proud he was practically bursting at the seams. He still had a difficult time being around Ronan and Noah, but he was trying, and that was all Ronan could really ask for.
Michael ended up beating them to the altar. He married a woman he’d met while on his mission in Argentina. His choice of bride caused quite a stir, overshadowing everyone’s interest in what was happening with Noah. In a show of newly found acceptance, Odonna and Jonah were quick to point out that Michael’s partner only mattered to him. They were grievously disappointed that the objections to the pairing seemed to center around the color of the bride-to-be’s skin.
Of course, no one came right out and said that. Behind lifted hands, they talked about how she was simply fishing for a green card and had latched on to a man who was going places. Had they bothered to get to know her, they would have discovered that Camila was fluent in six languages, played almost a dozen musical instruments, and had a nursing degree. As soon as she was in the states, the first hospital she applied to snapped her up. UVRMC was thrilled to have a multilingual nurse who had a fantastic bedside manner.
There was some backlash on the Camerons’ business when it was eventually discovered that Noah was gay. Not only gay but living with and engaged to a man. This made things difficult for the family for a while, but eventually, other members of the community, those who had been ostracized in similar ways, started hiring Jonah’s firm. Eventually, his business actually grew. And that, Ronan knew, was in part to the hours of volunteering that Camila and Michael did for the community.
When a year was up, their two families hiked up to the falls to witness Noah and Ronan exchange vows. For the ceremony, they exchanged rings, mainly because Ronan’s mother insisted on having that tradition carried forward. When she presented Ronan with his fathers’ old rings, he was touched, and pleased to wear them. They were simple silver, given in exchange when the three of them were too poor to afford something more. Now all three of his parents had platinum rings.
Noah was in love with the rings at first sight. He never considered himself a jewelry wearer until he had something with such rich sentimental value. Ronan realized he felt the same way.
After the festivities, they returned home only long enough to change and toss their luggage in the trunk of Noah’s car. Since Noah had classes and Ronan had clients, they weren’t going far for their honeymoon. Later on in the year, they had an exotic trip to Bali scheduled, but that would be during the time when Salt Lake was locked in snow. All they really needed was exactly what they got—a lone cabin surrounded by acres of woodland.
“I doubt we’ll even leave the bed.” Ronan was driving so Noah could catch up on his history class.
“Yes we will.” Noah looked up, grinning. “We’ll have to shower.”
“Ah. Good point.”
“You still owe me that surprise.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got it.” Ronan had tucked the items into his pocket before they’d left the house. He’d had to have them custom made at a rather exorbitant price, but that was okay. He didn’t mind spending money on something he intended to cherish for the rest of his life.
When they arrived at the cabin, they opened the windows to air the place out, then promptly stripped down to get into bed.
“Wait.” Noah held up his hand, stopping Ronan from getting any closer.
“Oh. Right.” Ronan retrieved the powder-blue box from his jacket. With a flourish, he presented it to Noah.
“I thought it was something for the both of us?”
“It is, but you can open it, since I already know what’s inside.”
Noah pulled the lid off the box, then pushed the tissue paper aside. “I don�
�t get it.”
“This would have been clearer if we were dressed.” Ronan took one of the little padlocks out of the box. He lifted up Noah’s discarded jeans, hooked the lock to the hole in the zipper tab, and then clicked it shut. “It doesn’t actually lock anything. It’s like a little chastity reminder. Not that we need that; I just like the idea of making it clear we belong to each other.”
“Aw, that’s cute.” Noah examined the other lock in the box. “And we each wear one?”
“Yep.” Ronan tossed his pants to Noah so he could hook his lock on.
“There. Now you belong to me.”
“Forever and always.” Ronan pulled Noah into his arms. “Forever and always.”
“I have something for you, too.” Noah went into the living room and opened his bag. After fishing around, he pulled out a brown-red,-and-white rock that was smooth on one side and rough on the other.
“For your Zen garden. It’s from where we were married.” Noah placed the rock in Ronan’s hand. “Part of it has been smoothed by the waterfall but it’s still rough on the other side. I thought it was like life in general. Jagged and smooth.”
“I love it. I can’t wait to put it in the Zen garden.” Ronan knew the exact spot he would place the rock. He would put it standing up so he could see both textures.
“Good. But now you need to come to bed and punish me.”
“You’ve been bad?”
“Oh, I have.”
“How about I come to bed and make love to you?”
“Well, if you insist.”
“You know, sex is like that rock, too.”
“It is?” Noah gently grasped Ronan’s cock, leading him back into the bedroom.
“Yep. Sex can be rough or it can be gentle.”
“I never thought of it that way.”
“It all depends on the mood.” Ronan held Noah’s hand, pulled him close, and kissed him. “Right now, I’m feeling a little mushy.”
“Aw, the wedding got to you, did it?”
“It did.” Ronan eased Noah down into the bed. But it wasn’t all flowery and romantic, because Ronan wouldn’t let Noah climax until he told him to. Ronan realized they could take the Dom out of the playroom, but they’d never get the playroom completely out of the Dom. After making Noah wild with longing, Ronan allowed him to come, then pulled him close, and they slept. When he woke up, he discovered his husband was in dire need of more serious punishment, so he gave him that with just as much enthusiasm. Breathless, bodies entwined, Ronan held Noah close, thanking his lucky stars that he decided to drive by the corner of Ninth and Ninth what seemed almost a lifetime ago.