by Rachel Rust
“Natalie?” Eddie whispered, kneeled next to me.
I bawled harder at the sound of his soothing voice. And the more I tried to stop, the louder I became. I was ugly-crying in front of the cute FBI agent, but I didn’t care. The pain was escaping, forcing its way out of the deep chasm where I had kept it locked up for too long.
Eddie placed a hand on one of my bent-up knees. “Nat, please look at me.”
Nat. My dad was the only person who ever called me that. I pulled my hands away from my face and looked up at Eddie’s concerned eyes, knowing damn well that my cheeks were streaked with makeup.
“I know it wasn’t easy,” he said, “but you did really well tonight.”
I nodded in understanding, appreciating the effort he was putting forth to make me feel better. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and I shrugged it away.
“I’m gonna get your shirt full of makeup.” I sniffled.
“It’s okay,” he said, pulling me up against his side. Out of exhaustion, I buried my head into his shoulder and rested a hand on his chest.
“I was scared,” I said. “And I miss my dad. I just wanted to see him.”
“I know.”
Eddie’s heart pulsed under my hand. With my eyes closed, I concentrated on the beats. My breathing became more regular. The tears stopped.
“Don’t you miss your parents?” I asked. “You’re always away for work. Do you ever get to see them?”
He remained quiet for a long time, and I thought he was going to ignore my question like he had ignored so many others in the past. But eventually he spoke. “I go to Ohio once or twice a year.”
“Do you get along with your parents? Are you close?”
“I’m pretty close to my mom,” he said. “My dad died when I was six years old.”
I raised my head off his chest to look at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know that.”
He smiled slightly. “I wouldn’t have expected you to. He died in a car accident. I don’t remember much about him, except that he used to take me fishing at this little creek that was about a half a mile from our house.”
“What was his name?”
“Teodoro. But everyone called him Ted.”
Eddie lifted the right sleeve of his t-shirt, revealing a tattoo on his upper arm. It was a profile of a Day of the Dead skull with hollow eyes, and flowers protruding from within. Other markings and beams surrounded the skull and a small scroll had a saying in Spanish. I wished I had taken more than just the required two years in high school because I had no idea what it read, except that it had the name of his father, Teodoro.
I had seen Eddie shirtless for a brief moment a few weeks ago, after he had showered at my house. I hadn’t noticed the tattoo back then. I had been too shy to even fully acknowledge that he had a chest … and pecs and abs.
But a lot had changed since that night.
My fingers caressed the tattoo and from somewhere deep inside me, a surge of bravery rose up, causing me to lean into him. My lips pressed against his, soft but lingering.
“Last time we did that, someone took a picture of us.”
Eddie shook his head. “Try not to think about that right now. You’re safe here.”
“I just wish I knew what was going on,” I said. “Why were we paired up together by Sergei? I mean, I get you … you’re an FBI agent. It makes sense that you’d be in his sights, but me? I’m nobody.”
“Apparently, you’re not, and I wish I had an easy answer for you. But trust me, I’m working on it. I’ll figure it out, so that Sergei can never bother you again. I promise.”
I closed my eyes and inhaled Eddie’s scent. “I’m sorry if I’ve been a bitch this week. I’m just scared and bored out of my mind. And…”
I stared at the scar near his temple. He had taken the butt of a gun to the head in order for me to run for safety. I scanned his jawline, close enough to kiss it. He needed to shave, but I hoped he wouldn’t.
“This whole time, I’ve been unsure of what’s going on between the two of us,” I said in a small voice. “When you kissed me on that gravel road a few weeks ago, I thought maybe it meant something to you. That maybe I meant something to you. But I know that’s dumb, I mean you’re older and you have your whole career settled, where I’m just starting out and only—”
He lifted my chin to bring our faces together. “I would never have kissed you if you hadn’t meant something to me. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Are you saying I do mean something to you?”
His thumb caressed my cheek, and he answered with a kiss. A longer, deeper kiss than before.
“It’s a complicated time,” he whispered against my mouth. “But I do care for you.”
I smiled a little as a surge of relief and giddiness rushed through me. “But I’m barely nineteen. Four years younger than you. Hell, I can’t even go to a bar for another two years.”
He shrugged. “I don’t like bars.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Are you telling me you don’t drink? Because I know that’s not true.”
He laughed. “No, but I prefer beer on my couch while watching ESPN.”
Beer on the couch. ESPN. Check. I immediately wondered what other random Eddie facts I could collect in that moment. We were truly alone for the first time all week.
“When’s your birthday?” I asked.
“March twenty-third.”
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Don’t really have one.”
“Favorite food?”
“Ribeye. Medium-rare.”
I thought for a moment. “Okay, I’ll take you out for steak on March twenty-third.”
“Are you saying I have to wait until March to go on a date with you?” he asked.
I giggled quietly. “Not if you ask me out before then.”
“Once it’s safe to leave this place, I might do that.”
“Then I might say yes.” I smiled and put his t-shirt sleeve back down into place, covering up memorial tattoo of his father. “Do you look like your dad?”
“My mom says so.”
“Then I bet you do. I look like my dad, too, which is fine because I don’t want to look like my mom. I barely ever see her and it sucks. She doesn’t even send me birthday cards. I mean, what kind of mom doesn’t send birthday cards?”
“I don’t know,” Eddie said.
“That’s why it was so hard to see my dad tonight,” I said, feeling my sinuses burn hot again. I tried to shut them down, but they insisted on filling my eyes with tears as visions of my dad at the gala seared into my mind. “He and I don’t always get along, but he’s the only parent I really have.”
Eddie kissed my forehead, and my muscles melted into his side. “It’s okay to be scared. And it’s okay to miss your dad. You’ve been through a lot and most people would’ve cracked by now. But not you. You’re stronger than that. You’re brave.”
“But I was so scared,” I said with another surge of tears threatening to make their way down my face. “That Sergei guy’s voice was creepy, and hearing it again made it so real, like I was back in that lumber building.”
“You know what they say about being brave, right?”
“What?”
“Bravery isn’t the absence of fear, it’s being fearful and yet still doing what needs to be done. And you did that.”
My hand pressed down onto his chest, still feeling his heart beat, but paying more attention to the solidness of his body. I was fearful of a lot of things. Sergei Romanov. Not seeing my dad again. Fearful of college and the future. And of Eddie Martinez—fearful of feeling like he was out of my league and that he’d realize it any moment. And I was fearful of pushing him away simply because the fucked-up circumstances which brought us together had me reeling in confusion.
I raised my head and looked at him. “I have a bobby pin headache, and I want to go take a shower.” I sucked in a deep breath and begged myself to be brave and spit out my next words. “But I don
’t want you to leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“No, I mean, I don’t want you to leave the bedroom.”
Conflict flickered in his eyes. He glanced at the door that led to the living room. He was technically at work. But he also kind of lived there right now, so there was a little bit of leniency with his time, I thought.
“Natalie,” he said. “You’ve had a rough night. Maybe it’s best if you get some sleep. I don’t want you to do anything that—”
I placed a finger against his lip, drawing a slight smile from him. “Yes, I’ve had a rough night—and that’s exactly why I want you to stay.” I kissed his lips. “Please.”
“Okay.” He smiled a crooked little grin and added, “I promise.”
That was good enough for me. I walked into the bathroom, very aware of the fact that I had on nothing but underwear and a bra, and very aware of the fact that he had a full view of my mostly-naked ass walking away.
After placing the sparkly bracelet on the counter top, I pulled off my fake eyelashes. The contacts were the next to go, and I threw them in the trash. My normal eyes stared back in the mirror.
I let down my hair and combed out the long tresses with my fingers. Movement in the mirror caught my attention. Eddie stood in the bathroom doorway.
I tried to play it cool, but my face grinned, unable to contain the anticipation roiling inside me.
His lip curled, making my heart race. He walked up behind me, putting his arms on either side of me, grasping the edge of the countertop. His body pressed into my back, causing a ragged breath to escape my lips. We started at each other in the mirror and every inch of me ached for him.
“I thought you were going to wait for me to take a shower,” I said.
“I’m tired of waiting.” His gaze went to my bare shoulder, and his lips followed. Softly, they trailed along my skin, up my neck, until his lips lingered on my earlobe. “I’ve been watching and wanting you for a long time.”
My entire body flushed warm, causing my eyes to flutter closed. His hand slipped across my bare stomach and my fingers dug into his thick hair as he kissed my neck. He cupped my breasts, pulling me back against him and drawing a deep sigh from within me.
It was really happening. Eddie wanted me like I wanted him. I yearned for comfort and pleasure. But most of all, I needed him. I needed to put my hands on him and feel his hands all over me. I needed—if only for a sweet, fleeting moment—to forget the mess we were in.
We had been through so much turmoil together, it was about time we took something good for ourselves.
“Turn around,” he said.
As soon as I faced him, my fingers slipped under his t-shirt, feeling the warm, taut skin of his torso. He reached behind his neck and pulled his shirt off, tossing it onto the floor. His broad form enveloped mine as he kissed me, and I wanted to melt into him.
He stripped my bra and underwear from my tingling skin. His pants followed and seconds later we were in the shower. Water, hands, lips everywhere. We exited dirtier than when we had entered and landed on the bed, fully entwined. Kissing and touching, tangled in the bedding. I wrapped myself around him, swearing in my mind that I’d never let go.
Afterward, Eddie lay beside me, cradling me in his arms, occasionally kissing my forehead, my temple, my shoulder, my lips. Surrounded by warmth, I fell asleep in his arms.
Chapter Twenty
I woke up some time later with my arm stretched out on the bed next to me. It was flat, with only the mattress and sheet … and no Eddie. But the space was still warm, so even in my half-asleep mind, I knew he hadn’t been gone long. I forced my sleepy eyes open, having to blink several times to jolt them awake. The space between the curtains was dark. It wasn’t morning yet.
Eddie was seated on the edge of the bed, visible in the faint beam of light coming from the open bathroom door. He stood, pulling up his pants.
“What’re you doing?” I asked, groggily.
He turned to me, zipping and buttoning his jeans. My eyes canvassed his bare chest, remembering it pressed against mine, and his strong arms wrapped around me from all directions. I wanted to relive the last few hours over and over again forever.
He sat down next to me. “I have to get back out there. I can’t be gone too much longer.”
“Are you going to be in trouble?” I asked. “I mean, won’t they know…” I looked at the bed with its crumpled sheets, and the bedspread thrown onto the floor. “…about us?”
Eddie grinned slightly and shrugged. “They know you had a rough night and probably didn’t want to be alone. Any more details than that are details they don’t need.”
“But seriously, you could get in trouble, couldn’t you? For sleeping with me.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” He ran a hand down my arm. “How are you?”
I exhaled with a small smile. How was I? I was a mixed bag of wildly spinning emotions. Heartache over not being able to see my dad. Fear of Sergei Romanov and his accent and power. And then there was Eddie, staring me down with concern in his dark eyes. His messy hair even messier than usual, given our mattress aerobics. His strong body just inches away, having made me feel things I had never experienced before, mentally and physically.
I sat up, letting the sheet fall from my body. I placed my hands to his face and kissed him. A quick, light kiss with open eyes.
“I’m doing better.” My fingertips ran down his chest, over his abs. “Thanks to you.”
His lip curled as he leaned into me. He kissed me deeply, running his hands under the sheet and up the outsides of my thighs. His strong fingers gripped my hips, yanking me onto his lap and leaving me panting for breaths between the presses of our lips. If not for the knowledge that he had to get back to work, I would’ve thought he was moving in for a second round.
When he finally pulled back, he looked down at my breasts. “You were right, by the way. They are pretty spectacular.”
I giggled as he wrapped his arms right around me, laughing softly into my neck. He laid me back down and kissed me one last time before standing. “Go back to sleep.”
“I think you need to get some sleep,” I said, watching him put his t-shirt on as he walked to the bedroom door. “You look a little spent.”
He smiled widely, giving me a wink. “Don’t worry about me.”
He disappeared back into the living room. The bedroom was dark and quiet. I snuggled deep into the sheets, eyes closed, with flashes of Eddie moving rapidly through my mind. Sleep came quickly, heavy and deep, as though some of my worries had finally began dissipating.
****
When I woke several hours later, sun beamed through the gap in the curtains. My body and mind were exhausted, but I forced myself up. After brushing my teeth, and dressing in white shorts and a pink tank top, I went out into the living room, ready for looks of judgement from Han, or amusement from Toby, because of what had transpired in my bedroom last night. But there were none. Han was on the phone in the corner of the room. Toby’s back was turned to me as he sat in front of his computer. There was no Eddie in sight. I walked to the doorway of the tech lair, but only Toby and the ‘gold tits’ tech guy were in there. I scanned the living room again, thinking maybe I had missed him, but he wasn’t anywhere to be found.
Shit, I thought with a racing heart. I got him fired!
But that fear was calmed when the suite door opened and Eddie walked in, carrying a box of doughnuts. He smiled at me and then plopped the box down onto the coffee table. “Thought you might want something other than toast and eggs for a change.” He flipped open the lid, exposing a half a dozen doughnuts, covered in a variety of icings, some with sprinkles, some without.
My grumbling stomach and libido agreed: A man with doughnuts was the hottest thing on two legs.
Toby came out of the bedroom behind me, eyeing the box. Eddie held his hand out to stop him. “Natalie chooses first.”
Toby stopped and motioned for me
to go ahead of him. I grabbed a large chocolate doughnut, covered in thick chocolate icing. With the first bite, I was in heaven.
Eddie smiled at my enjoyment, and I smiled back, hoping my teeth weren’t covered in chocolate. But they probably were.
In the corner of the room, Han stood up, shoving his phone into his pocket. “We ready?”
“Yep,” Toby replied, scampering back into the lair with a chocolate doughnut dotted with blue sprinkles.
I stepped out of Han’s way, understanding what he had meant. It was time for the sweep. He was getting ready to canvas the hotel with all the other agents who lurked in the area. It was the one time every day when agents ‘shifted’, as Eddie once explained to me. They changed their location, and they were almost all on the move, except the one or two who were left in the suite with me.
“Want a doughnut?” I asked as Han passed by, knowing damn well he’d say no. He didn’t look like he had an ounce of fat on him.
He wrinkled his nose at the box of sugar. “No thanks.” He met Eddie by the doorway of the tech lair, where they chatted a bit with Toby. Han then put on a light jacket, hiding the handgun strapped to his side and headed out the door.
I turned to Eddie. “You’re not going on the sweep today?”
“Nope.” He grabbed a maple doughnut and curled his lip. “You’re stuck with me.”
“I supposed I can think of worse things.” In fact, I couldn’t think of many things better than being stuck in a hotel suite with Eddie. If only Sergei didn’t exist, and we could get rid of Toby and the other techie guy for a while.
“Oh shit,” Toby suddenly muttered from the lair.
I chuckled and took another bite, assuming Toby now had a doughnut stain on the front of his shirt. But Eddie took Toby’s words far differently. He dropped his doughnut back into the box and rushed into the tech room. I stood up, ready to ask what was going on, when Eddie rushed back out of the room, directly toward me.
He wasn’t slowing down. I stepped back, but he rammed into me full speed, sending my doughnut flying as he tackled me to the ground behind the sofa.