by Meg Anne
“What if it could?”
His eyes shot to hers. “What are you saying?”
Helena shrugged. “I’m just asking what it would mean to you if you could act on your feelings.”
“I have no wish to leave the Circle!” he said with panic.
“Who said anything about that?” she asked, genuinely confused.
“But there is no other way…” he trailed off.
She smirked at him, the impish girl she’d once been evident in the expression. “What’s the point of being in charge if you cannot make your own rules?” The question was an echo of one she’d already posed to Von.
Darrin’s grin grew as her meaning became clear. “Are you saying—”
“Do not lose hope.”
He jumped up, lifting her in his arms and spinning her around. “Hellion… you do not know how happy you’ve just made me.”
She laughed, a pure joyous sound. He set her down, a hand on each of her shoulders. “Helena, truly. Thank you. Just the chance to have something real with her… it is more than I dared hope for.”
His hands moved to her cheeks and he pressed a happy, smacking kiss to her forehead before clambering for the door. “I have a need to get clean all of a sudden!” he called.
“But not before you get dirty,” she said under her breath, unable to resist.
Popping his head back through the door, he asked: “Did you say something?”
“No!” she lied, smiling brightly.
With a cheery wave, he was off.
Helena had barely retied her pack when Ronan walked back in.
Glancing around he asked, “Where’d everyone go?”
Helena filled him in quickly as she settled on her bedroll and contemplated taking a short nap before dinner. So much had happened in the span of a few days that the extra sleep felt almost like a luxury.
Ronan sat down in a leather armchair, his elbows resting on his knees. He looked around the room, visibly flinching when his eyes found the area Serena and Nial had claimed.
“How are you holding up?” she asked.
His icy eyes moved back to hers and she was struck by how handsome he was. Helena had always thought Ronan was good-looking in a rugged, could probably kill you with his bare hands, kind of way. But without the scar marring the perfect symmetry of his face, Helena could see that he was actually devastatingly handsome. For her part, she greatly preferred inky hair and smoldering silver eyes but that didn’t mean she couldn’t appreciate his masculine beauty.
The question made his brows dip. “Is it obvious?”
Helena shook her head. “No. Not to the others. You do a good job of hiding it.”
He raked a hand through his hair, tugging at the braided strands. Then, like water bursting through a dam, words poured out of him on a tortured groan, “I know she is his, but a part of me cannot help but look at her and think ‘mine.’”
“I know what it is like to lose the one your soul has claimed.”
They shared a look only those who were intimately familiar with heartache would recognize.
Her own experience aside, Helena still didn’t need to imagine the kind of emotional hell Ronan was going through. Now that her power was continuing to evolve and grow with Von back, she could actually feel snippets of what those connected to her through her Jaka were feeling. It was how she knew Darrin was trying to lie to her. The Jaka granted a sense of knowing or intuition that was often accompanied by a slight burn or tingle beneath her skin. The awareness was nothing like what she shared with Von, as it was only the barest hint of emotion or thought, but it was enough.
Ronan hung his head. “That’s the twist isn’t it? It’s not my soul, but my heart. The damned fool does not want to admit defeat, even though it knows the truth.”
“That is the way of hope.”
“If what I’ve been feeling is even a hint of what you went through while he was gone… you’re a damned sight stronger than anyone ever gave you credit for.”
Helena laughed in surprise. “The last thing I ever felt was strong. Most days I could hardly recognize myself as broken as I felt, but I had friends that did not allow me to break completely. They held me together when it felt like nothing could.”
Sad blue eyes met hers, forcing her to admit, “I would not have made it without you pushing me forward.”
He smiled at that. “It is no less than you would do for me.”
“And here we are.” They chuckled.
As the laughter faded, he said, “It gets easier as the days pass. Sometimes it just sneaks up on me. A look or gesture and it’s as if nothing has changed, and then I remember.” His eyes shuttered and he pulled his emotions back inside, the warrior once more. “Anyway, it will pass.” He slapped his hands on his knees, pushing himself out of the chair.
Helena knew better than to mention that there would be another. For one who had loved as wholly as Ronan, it was very likely there never would be. Unless he was lucky enough to find his mate, as Serena had. She would not give him empty platitudes. They were too close for that.
“You once told me that she was your strength, but that is not true, Ronan. Your true strength is in your ability to love and your loyalty to those who are fortunate enough to earn it. Serena was lucky enough to experience both. You loved her so much, you wanted nothing but her happiness. It was why you were able to let her go. It may never feel that way, but you are a better man because of it.”
Ronan had already turned away from her, and his body hunched at her words as if they had inflicted a wound but also cradled him. He looked back at her over her shoulder, a sheen in his eyes.
For Ronan, she would pretend that she did not notice the streak of wetness down his smooth cheek. Helena’s hand was braced over her Jaka, a silent reminder that she did not forget what his symbol meant, or how its presence there would always connect them.
When he smiled at her, it was a beautifully broken thing. “One lesson I have learned from your Mate, is that a warrior never knows if his next battle will be the last. Life is a gift from the Mother. I will not begrudge anyone their right to happiness during the handful of days the Mother grants them.”
“You have a poet’s soul, Ronan.”
He gave her a disgusted look. “You’re lucky no one heard you say such a hateful thing.” Then he winked.
Helena sighed and shook her head. She closed her eyes, thanking the Mother for sending her a wonderful friend like Ronan, and asking her to please heal his broken heart. Before she could make good on her wish for a nap there was a light tapping on the door.
Serena strode in with an apologetic smile.
Helena sat up and just stared at the door with an incredulous expression. “Is there a queue out there or something?”
Serena blinked in confusion. “What?”
Helena pointed. “Out there, are people lined up waiting their turn to speak to me? Is there a sign on the wall saying I’m giving out free advice? I only ask because the timing today has been impeccable. It’s as if you all planned this.”
Serena threw her head back and laughed. “I suppose it could certainly seem that way. Alas, I am merely here to summon you to dinner.”
“I didn’t hear a bell.”
“The mysterious one,” Serena paused and made a gesture with her hand to indicate the swirling make-up of the Night Stalkers’ leader.
“Reyna?” Helena asked.
“Sure.”
Helena snorted. “Aren’t you supposed to be observant? I seem to remember something about attention to detail being a highly valued skill for mercenaries and warriors alike.”
Serena shrugged. “I forgot a name, bite me. You figured out who I was talking about through my reference to said details.”
“Because wiggling fingers in front of your face is a clear detail. I think that speaks more to my skills at deduction than your description.”
Unimpressed with Helena’s logic, Serena’s violet eyes narrowed and she continued, “Any
way, as I was saying. Reyna ran into Effie and me on our way back. She let us know food was already being set out. She also said it doesn’t last long and we might want to hustle if we prefer our food hot.”
With a groan, Helena pushed herself off the bedroll and into a standing position. “Lead the way,” she sighed with resignation. Looks like she wouldn’t be getting a nap after all.
“Are you sure you trust me to get us there? I may have forgotten some key details and may lead you straight off a bridge.”
“If that’s the case then you’re the one that will have to explain what happened to Von and Ronan. As the ones that trained you, I can’t see them reacting very well to the attempted murder of their favorite female.”
“Pfft. You sure think highly of yourself. I’ve known them years longer than you.”
“Yes, but they like me better.”
The women laughed, their teasing a welcome respite from the intensity of the day.
“Are you feeling a bit better?” Serena asked seriously, weaving her arm through Helena’s.
“A bit, although I don’t think any of us will rest easy until this is over.”
The blonde woman nodded as she said, “That is always the way of war. And yet somehow, we will still sleep, and dream, and live.”
Helena smiled, her cheeks flushing as she thought back to Von and their stolen moments together. “Yes, even in times of war, we must also find time to live.”
Giving Helena an appraising look, Serena whistled. “From the way you say live, I gather you mean fu—”
“Shhhhh,” Helena interjected, slapping a hand over her friend’s mouth as the curious gaze of one of the Night Stalkers passed over them. Once they were clear of the man, Helena dropped her hand and added under her breath, “You weren’t wrong.”
Serena blinked comically and after a moment of surprised silence let out a bark of laughter. The two women walked into the crow’s nest laughing hysterically, no longer caring who was looking at them.
The crow’s nest was loud, and by loud Helena did not mean just a little noisy. It was positively deafening. Something about a group of people who prided themselves on moving about undetected being responsible for this kind of racket amused Helena greatly. But her smile began to waver as she realized it was because the Night Stalkers felt safe here. Even after what had happened in Duskfall, these people felt untouchable. If she’d learned only one thing in the past year it was that nowhere was truly safe. Not with Rowena and her ghastly minions intent on wreaking havoc.
Von’s warm hand curled around hers beneath the table. It was a small gesture but helped anchor her back to the present. She gave him a thankful smile and pushed her plate away. For the most part the meal had been uneventful, but the food was good and the mood relaxed. Actually, maybe not completely relaxed. There was a sense of anticipation buzzing throughout the room, the voices holding an expectant edge. Every now and then she’d catch a sidelong glance from someone who had heard what she’d done in Duskfall. Who was she kidding, everyone in the room knew what had happened.
There was no scraping of the chair against the floor to signal that Reyna was about to stand, but Helena didn’t need a signal to realize something was about to happen. The room fell silent instantly. The immediate shift in sound made her head feel as if it was suddenly filled with cotton. She had the urge to clap her hands, or drop something on the floor, anything to prove that her ears still functioned.
Kragen’s eyes met hers from across the table. After a cursory glance he lifted his brows as though asking if she needed something. Her expression must have broadcasted her absurd thoughts. Bemused, Helena shook her head, returning her attention to Reyna.
“For centuries the Night Stalkers have called the Forest of Whispers home. There are few among us that have ever left the beauty of the Forest, fewer still that leave never to return.”
The hush in the room was absolute. Everyone was focused on Reyna as she continued, “Our people are born from the first shadows of nightfall. From the time we can walk, we already know how to wrap ourselves in a cloak of darkness to conceal us from our enemies. Our greatest gift is our ability to move through the trees, remaining unseen and unheard until it is time to strike. Many call us assassins because of the secretive nature of our work. What they do not realize is that we are the guardians; the protectors of the Forest and her secrets.”
There were a few cheers and Reyna’s lips lifted in the slightest semblance of a smile. “In order for us to fulfill our duty, the time has come for us to leave our home. It must be done if we want to keep it safe. This time, it is not enough to remain amongst the trees and wait for our enemies to come to us. This time, we must bring the fight to them. We will fight as one, with the Chosen as our allies, until our enemy has been destroyed.”
The roar of approval was immediate. Helena had expected more of a resistance, especially after Reyna’s mention that few had ever left the Forest.
Pulling out a small glimmering piece of metal from beneath her shirt, Reyna held it up so that it could catch the light. Gasps filled the room. Helena looked to Joquil, hoping he might have an explanation for the crowd’s reaction. His amber eyes were wide and his mouth had fallen open in shock. Feeling the weight of her stare, he turned and whispered, “I always thought it was a myth.”
“Long has my family passed this down, each generation gifting it to the eldest daughter when she comes of age. With it comes the reminder to not use it lightly, for it can only ever be used once. Never has one of my line had need to call on the aid of the Watchers. Until now.” Reyna raised her voice, speaking over the shocked whispers, “I do not make this choice lightly. Let there be no doubt among you what our failure will mean. There is a fate worse than death, as we have learned from our brothers and sisters in Duskfall. We will take no chances.”
The room fell silent again, until a man called out, “A worthy cause indeed!”
“Aye!”
Reyna lifted a hand to halt the cheering of the crowd. “Knowing what is on the line, and that I cannot guarantee you a safe return, I will not force any of you into this decision. There is still time before the battle will begin. It is up to you if you will join me. I will not think less of any that wish to remain.” With a final look at the glittering necklace, Reyna let it fall back against her chest and then strode quickly from the room.
Helena peered at the men and women sitting beside her. “What just happened?”
“The stuff of legend,” Joquil answered in a hushed voice. “Reyna is going to call in the Watchers’ promise.”
With a lift of her brow that clearly expressed how little he’d enlightened her, Joquil flushed and continued. “There is a story that the Night Stalkers pass down from generation to generation. When the first of the Night Stalkers began to settle in the Forest, they were faced with the Watchers, who did not want their land polluted by humans. With nowhere left to go after being cast out of Chosen lands, the Night Stalkers vowed their allegiance to the Watchers, promising to be the guardians of the Forest. The Watchers laughed, as they were its true defenders, but they were intrigued by these small men who thought they would be able to protect the Forest, and so they agreed to let them stay.”
Joquil cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the attention of the others. “Years passed without any issue, until a new tribe tried to settle in the Forest. The Watchers gave them a choice: make the same vow as the others or leave. The tribe refused and set about burning the Forest down. In the years that they’d been citizens of the Forest, the Night Stalkers learned from the Watchers how to become part of it. They discovered the skill of shadow weaving. Now they put it to use, hiding atop the trees and spying on their would-be attackers. Armed with information, the Night Stalkers and Watchers were able to defeat the tribe.”
Joquil was all but vibrating with pride as he spoke about his ancestors, his excitement that the story was true impossible to hide. “As thanks to the humans, who ensured their victory since they were sma
ll enough to move about unseen and unheard where the Watchers could not, they made a promise. It was represented by a token, the golden acorn. If ever there was a time of great need, when the Night Stalkers were threatened by an enemy they could not defeat on their own, the Watchers would come to their aid.”
The members of the Circle were quiet, until Darrin finally asked. “But what are the Watchers?”
Joquil’s voice was barely more than a breath. “The oldest denizens of the Forest: the trees themselves.”
Helena wasn’t sure how one was supposed to respond to that kind of revelation. So she let out a soft, “Oh.”
Joquil nodded. “And now you understand.”
Helena wasn’t sure she did, not entirely, but she was starting to. They’d just gained an ally more powerful than she’d ever thought possible. Not only would they be fighting beside the full force of the Night Stalkers, but the Forest itself would be at their side.
Far away in a much smaller room, a man knelt before the shimmering surface of an ancient mirror.
“The Circle is still intact,” an icy voice accused.
“Yes, my Queen.”
“Why?”
The word hit him like the blow of a lash. The man barely restrained himself from flinching. “The usurper had a stash of Kaelpas stones that allowed her and her party to move about more quickly than anticipated. I was unable to locate her, because I did not have one within their initial ranks.”
“And now?”
The man lifted his head and grinned. “And now I do.”
There was a thaw in the room, and he would have said his Queen was pleased if he didn’t know her better. One didn’t become her lover by failing to correctly interpret her moods. Rather, one did not remain her lover. The latter was a much more difficult feat to achieve.
“Good. Then there will be no more mistakes.”
“No, my Queen,” he promised.
“My patience is wearing thin, Thomas. Break the Circle, or I will have no choice but to break you.”
Her hazy visage faded from the mirror until all he could see were his own coal eyes staring back at him from a grizzled face. He watched as his lips lifted in a sadistic smile, despite her threat. It was hardly the worst thing she’d ever said to him.