Pleasure tingled at the base of my spine, and my balls started to draw up. She clamped down on me again while she tried to suck me back into her wet tight sheath. She caressed me tightly and almost cut off the blood flow.
I groaned into her neck as I slammed into her harder with more force. Her womb met the tip of my cock over and over. Every time I bottomed out, she bit harder and grunted louder.
Fuck she loved it when I went in as deep as I could. Pulling back, my hips took shorter deeper strokes into the best fucking pussy I’ve ever had. Her ass pushed back as I retreated trying to get me to stay inside her.
Soon I was fucking her harder. The sounds of flesh hitting flesh accompanied by her grunts of pleasure had my balls burning like lava was ready to shoot out of them.
I wasn’t sure how much more I could take and then she clamped down hard. Her back bowed as she screamed into my arm.
Every caressing pull of my dick had cum shooting from my burning balls and into her hot pussy. When we finished coming, I kissed the back of her neck before sliding out of her. I reached for my pants and tugged them up and fasten them before pulling her into my arms.
“You’re mine, baby,” I told her harshly.
She doesn’t say a word as she pulls back and walks into the building without even a backward glance. She’s gone, and I’m left standing there like a fucking tool.
Chapter 12
Lilyanna
When we were younger, Cole said something similar to what he uttered in the alleyway.
My dark hair was pulled into pigtails, and I was following him, again. He made me feel like the lost puppy.
His dark hair fell into his eyes as he turned and looked at me. His thirteen-year-old face frowned.
“One day Lily, you will understand what it’s like to be mine,” his voice was smooth. Even though most of the boys we knew had squeaky and deep voices as puberty hit.
My heart thumped hard against my chest as my eyes widened in shock. I’ve been following him for years, always hoping he would see me as more than my Tropper’s annoying cousin.
The ache that I felt when I realized boys weren’t yucky hit like a punch to the gut. His cocky smile lit up his face as he walked away, acting like he didn’t know what he just did.
I watched over the years as girl after girl, then women after women walked through his life. Not one of them was me. Each one tore my heart from my chest a little more until finally it was completely removed. I was finally empty and alone.
There were times when he would look my way, but the crack in my heart that he caused would ache and pulse wanting to be closer. Then another faceless woman, prettier than me, would sneak out of my brother’s room.
I knew what they were doing, and it hurt more than I would ever admit even to myself.
Coming back to the present, I felt his hot cum leak down my leg as I walked through the room. My aunt Bethy looked at me with her eyebrow raised, and a slight smile bloomed on her face.
She knew better than anyone what I felt for him, and I think she knew what we just did. Slipping into the bathroom, I look in the mirror and quickly fixed my hair. I was relieved that I wasn’t one to wear a lot of makeup. There was no smudged lipstick and no raccoon eyes. Just me and my now fixed hair staring back at me.
Running my sweaty fingers down my dress, I walked back into the busy room. Willow was looking uncomfortable and possibly more heartbroken than before if that was even possible.
My feet went in her direction, but she was already moving away. I knew she didn’t want the company, she didn’t want to answer any questions. The looks she would receive turned her away from us all. I understood more than anyone because I didn’t want the same thing. I wanted to avoid those pitying looks as people realized I let a man-whore take me over and over, ruining me a little more each time. I didn’t want people to ask questions that I had no response too. Even if I did, I wasn’t going to share it.
I felt Cole’s eyes on me without turning. I walked closer to the door, needing the space. I needed away from him and this room full of people. I needed to kill someone, share the loneliness that was sucking at my soul
Give someone the beauty of peace, something I have yet to really have. It was time to forget about Cole and all the stupid girly wishes that I thought I buried all those years ago.
The cool air caressed my face as the first tear slipped down my cheek. My feet sped up as I made my way to my car. I would apologize to Willow later for leaving her, but right now, I needed to apologize to myself for all the silly stupid things I let Cole do to me. Especially, for letting him hurt me again even though I promised myself years ago that I would never let him do it again.
Chapter 13
Lilyanna
Time froze as I closed my eyes and replayed the final moments of the man life that I just killed. His filthy brown colored eyes stared at me in amazement.
That’s right motherfucker it’s me.
I think the words, but I have yet to utter them aloud.
The world has become silent as his stuttering and crawling were the only sounds I could hear. He was trying to crawl away from me, and I laughed at his failed attempts.
Little baby, you haven’t seen anything yet.
I want to say those words repeating what he said all those years ago.
I’ll give you something to cry about.
All the things that he uttered against my ear were filling up my head, making me want to say them to him, to my prey. I wanted to make him feel helpless like he made me feel as well as so many others.
Placing my black combat boot against his head, I smiled a huge smile.
That’s right baby cry for me.
Pressing harder, I smiled even wider.
“Crying won’t save you, but by all means, please continue,” I tell him sweetly.
My words were hollow, but my tone was sickly sweet and doused with honey and a lot of sugar.
“What do you want?” he asks while trying to not sound like the coward that he was. His voice had a fake bravado that I know he doesn’t feel, and I don’t believe.
“Don’t you remember, baby?” I ask him, keeping that sickeningly sweet tone like we were lovers. Like we’ve been intimate.
I shudder a little on the inside. This wasn’t happening, but it really was. I was finally finishing a lifelong mission.
I could see him searching my face while shudders of fear were raking his overweight body. He smelled of sweat and old booze. There was also a hint of pee that perfumed the air.
Looking down, sure enough, he was pissing himself. Sighing, I pressed harder against his chest and added more of my weight, but not enough to crush his ribs and puncture important parts. Enough to make breathing a little more difficult.
“Should I?” he asks, his voice shaking and his teeth clacking as fear controlled him.
“Maybe? It’s been quite some time,” I tell him honestly.
I look at him leaning in closer, my favorite butterfly knife weighed lightly in my palm.
“I remember you, and I think you remember my uncle,” I tell him.
He just looks at me in confusion.
“Carter? Lark Carter?” I announce.
His eyes grow big, and that piss stain becomes bigger.
“Oh God!” he cried out.
Crouching down over him, I place the knife at his lower abdomen right where his beer gut hung over his sweatpants.
“I’m going to enjoy this,” I tell him truthfully.
“Please, I’m so sorry,” his cried, and all the begging in the world falls on deaf ears.
I press my knee into his chest keeping him in place as I press down with the knife piercing his flesh and causing a wee leak.
I wanted to laugh at the thought of such a small cut causing so much blood. Pressing harder, I drag it up his body turning my eyes to his face as I do it. He screams out in pain, and his begging takes a back seat to the screams of pain and despair.
The sound of shoes on the
floor of my living room has me back in the present. Looking up, I see Cole’s deep scowl. Fuck! It’s been two days since the party at the Gallery.
“Lily,” he snarls.
I look at him not uttering a word. What was there to say? I’m sorry? I wasn’t really, so there was no point in lying.
“Why the fuck am I always chasing you?” he grumbles, as he drops onto the red smooth velvet couch that I was sitting on.
“Why the fuck don’t you take a hint?” I ask him instead of answering.
His hand snaps out and grabs my thigh rubbing it firmly causing me to stiffen against his touch. Yes, I want it. Yes, I needed it. Fuck, I couldn’t do this.
“Women everywhere are weeping at the loss of you,” I tell him darkly.
“More the fucking reason to crawl over here and kiss me,” he says with a cocky smile.
I just look at him. Really look at him taking in his dark hair. Once I thought it was lighter than Marcus’, but now I see it was really darker. Those intense blue eyes, eyes so blue that it makes you think of the deepest blue ocean.
I was sinking as his tongue caressed his lower lip. My tongue mimicked his. Slowly dragging over my lower lip and wetting it.
Closing my eyes, I fight the need to lean in closer. To press into his body feeling his heat and soaking it up. To beg him for all the things I’ve always wanted.
It all came back to one thing, him. I’ve always wanted him.
Chapter 14
Cole
She looked defeated as she closed the space between us. I knew she loved me, I’ve known for years. I could tell her heart broken every time I ran from it. Every time I let another woman wound around me and pull my attention away.
Shadows from her lashes cast onto her cheeks as her eyes closed and her nose pressed into my chest. She took deep breaths, trying to breath me in.
I fucking loved moments like this. When her body is close to mine, I feel her soft curves pressed close to my hard body, and it gets me every fucking time.
“This won’t last,” she whispers.
My chest ached at the sorrow I hear in her voice. Did she think I was going to walk away? Leave her after all these years of fucking running? I was finally where I knew deep down I was always supposed to be.
“You’re mine,” I tell her.
I felt her shrug as if my answer was just words. Maybe to her, they were.
“Why are you here?” Her question is hesitant and filled with something I couldn’t place.
“I wanted to see you,” I say. The words pour from somewhere deep inside me.
All this shit scared me but being without her scared me more.
Her laughter had us both shaking because it held nothing but bitterness.
“You just want to fuck,” her words are cold.
Her words were a shock and had me stiffening. Silence rained down on us as she held her breath waiting for my response.
I didn’t know what to say. Yeah, I wanted to bend her over this couch and fuck her senseless, but I also wanted to curl up with her and watch a movie and listen to her deep, even breaths as she slept. I wanted to come home every day and watch as she danced through the kitchen before cooking dinner.
So many things I wanted to do with her and not all of it involved being naked.
“Lily…” I start.
“I think you should just go,” she tells me as her voice gets quiet.
I watch as she stands, putting space between us. Without a backward glance, she was gone, and I was left sitting there like a fucking moron.
What the fuck was I doing? It was something I couldn’t answer no matter how many times I questioned myself. I fucked up, and I was at a loss as for how to fix it.
Chapter 15
Cole
Time has lost its meaning as days blended into weeks. Lily has all but disappeared. I often hear Willow’s side of the conversation whenever they talk, but otherwise nothing.
My brother pulled his head out of his ass and made a new appearance, sweeping Willow off her feet. My father tried to reassign me, but I wasn’t going anywhere.
“What do you mean?” Willow’s sweet voice sounded both hurt and confused as she talked into the phone.
I knew who Willow was talking to, and my heart twisted. I’ve been to Lily’s house, and it’s been empty every time. It’s like she has literally disappeared.
I told Willow and Marcus we were together and then begged Willow to tell me where she was. She just shook her head no and pressed her lips closed.
I couldn’t fault her. If Lily didn’t want me to know, then Willow wasn’t going to budge, and a small reasonable part of me respected that.
“I can… yes. I’ll be there… no, he won’t….” Willow listened and cast her eyes my way again pressing her lips together before responding, “I’ll get that stuff for you.”
She hasn’t taken her eyes off me, and she had a frown marring her beautiful face. Her eyebrows were drawn together tightly as if she disproved.
“Marcus will bring me,” she tells Lily.
“I’ll take you,” I tell her.
“No,” Willow says quietly.
My eyes cast to my feet as if they had all the answers in the world. They could go to help Lily, but if they thought I was going to hang back, they had another thing coming. I’ll follow them if I have to.
Chapter 16
Lilyanna
It’s been weeks since I’ve walked out that door and ran like the childish person I was acting like.
Have you ever had an epiphany? A moment of clarity where time stands still, and you can see the world mapped out for what it truly was?
I was having one of those moments as I stared at the stupid stick in my hand. The same stick that held two pink lines from a test that held all the answers and none of them, at the same time.
I was pregnant, and Cole was the father. Was this another thing I would do alone? Would I always pine after the man who stomped on my heart over and over?
Willow had rubbed my back as she placed the sack of groceries on the counter and then left me alone. I didn’t want her to visit. I didn’t want her to be here when my world shattered into pieces. The pieces weren’t going to go back together correctly.
Then I heard a rustling sound outside. My eyes roamed to the closed bathroom door. I was alone, and only a handful of people knew where I was. All my weapons were scattered over the house, and like a fucking amateur, I left my gun on the kitchen counter with the box that said pregnancy test.
The sound of boots quietly hitting the hardwood floor. It had my ears perk up and my heart race. I had a great number of enemies, and we were now at war.
Fuck! My brain screams.
Yes, brain we are fucked I tell it.
The door was opened and there stood Joel Donahue. He stood there staring at me with a cruel smile on his face.
The pregnancy test was already in the trash, less chance of them finding out. Honestly, I didn’t need them digging through my trash.
“Joel,” I say coldly.
I had a moment of sorrow as the reality of it hit home. I wasn’t going to be able to protect my child.
His dark, spiky hair accompanied by his dark green eyes gave him a beauty that would have most girls panting and drooling. Me, I wanted to slit his throat and cut off his balls.
Don’t get me wrong, he was a nice enough guy, but over the years being part of the family changed him. He was going to take me, or he was going to kill me.
That was my future.
“My father wants you,” he says.
I felt a stirring low in my gut, and it tasted sour with fear and a small amount of relief.
“I need to know something; did you kill my brother?” he asks me while his face was completely blank.
“You sure you want to know?” I ask him.
“Fuck!” he shouts as his arm lashes out. His fingers gripped my arm brutally as he dragged me from the room.
“You’re going to paste a smile
on that pretty face of yours and pretend we are on our way out on a date,” he tells me.
“And why the fuck would I do that?” I ask him in all seriousness.
“Was that Willow who just left? It would be a shame to watch her die,” his once calm voice turned cold as did my heart.
“She’s innocent in all of this,” I tell him.
“Sweetheart, we all are in the beginning,” he tells me.
And fuck if he wasn’t telling the truth. I wanted to hate him, but I knew he was right.
Acid bubbled up my throat.
“If I walk out of here, will you leave her alone?” I ask him quickly.
My feet were heavy as we closed the space between us and the door.
“I will,” he tells me.
I knew he was telling the truth. Joel was a lot of things; an asshole, thief, and murderer, but he wasn’t a liar.
“Okay,” I tell him holding my head high and plastering the biggest, most fake smile I could. As the door swung open, I leaned into him with a laugh.
“I’m going to kill you,” I tell him honestly.
“You can try, baby,” he tells me with a laugh of his own.
Then I was being shoved into the back of a car. Black leather met the palms of my hands as I scooted over and Joel slid in behind me.
“Was he sanctioned?” he asked me.
Looking over at him I feel a small amount of pity for my childhood friend.
“Yes,” I tell him honestly.
I’m not sure if it was the baby or just being with Cole, but I felt the need to help him move forward.
“Was it quick?” he asks. His voice was smooth and slightly hollow.
“Yes, he was my friend,” I tell him sadly.
His eyes find mine, and he nods at whatever he sees there. He needed to hear closure for his brother, and somehow, I respected that.
“I know he was a job and we both know what happens when we fail,” he tells me calmly.
I felt both relief and a gut-churning fear. He was letting me off the hook because we both knew what would happen if I didn’t do it. Family or not, I would have been hunted, and his brother would still have to die, but it would have been slower and more vicious.
Loving Cole Page 4