Guilt and shame mixed, forming an emotional cocktail I wasn’t ready to deal with, not with him still naked in my bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him crawl off the bed.
“What the hell?”
“Go, please,” I said.
“You wanted this too. I thought…”
His voice trailed off. I pulled a cover over my naked body.
Why am I so ashamed right now?
Tears welled up in my eyes.
“Will you please leave? I’ll call you later.”
I glanced up at him.
“Whatever…Where’s your bathroom?”
“There,” I said, pointing.
“This is messed up, Jade.”
I said nothing, a melting pot of emotions going through my body.
“You’re making me feel used,” he said in a joking tone, still not taking me seriously.
“Welcome to my world,” I said angrily. “Please leave, okay?”
He grabbed his clothes then left the room. Tears flowed.
Why the hell am I crying? That was so wonderful.
Not understanding why I was so upset made it so much worse.
When I heard him leave a few minutes later, practically slamming my front door, I laid back and cried, letting everything out. It wasn’t him, but he had opened a floodgate that would not be closed easily. The mix of joy and sadness confused the hell out of me.
All my problems had started after I got back from Afghanistan. I had seen brutality, the mistreatment of women and so much more.
None of my life made sense after I had returned from that dirty, dusty, crazy country. Gradually, the tears dried up, but I still felt terrible.
Cooper will never speak to me again. Not after that outburst. I don’t blame him. I’m such a mess! The sadness turned to self-loathing.
I thought about calling and begging him to come back, trying to explain how crazy my life had become after meeting him over there, but I didn’t.
Why would someone perfect like him want a problem-woman like myself?
The answer would not come.
FIFTEEN
Cooper
The next morning, I woke up as confused as the night before? What the hell was Jade’s problem? She had called me, invited me over, let me fuck her, and then went nuts crying? What the hell?
I picked up my phone from the nightstand and turned on the screen. No messages. Maybe it was a one-off? She didn’t seem like that type of woman, but what the hell do I know? Not much.
After throwing the covers back, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stretched my arms. She had been a good lay. I couldn’t deny that one bit.
The look on her face when she came stuck with me as I went through my morning routine, gradually waking up and getting ready for the day. With no job, I had nothing but time.
Around lunch, my phone rang. I grabbed it excitedly, expecting to see her phone number on the screen, but it was one I didn’t recognize. Who the hell is this? I answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey man, what’s up. Long time no hear.”
“Who is this?” I asked, not sure about the voice.
“Damn, bro. We lose touch for a year, and you’ve already forgotten me.”
“Oh, hey, Max. I didn’t expect to hear from you again.”
“Yeah, you made that quite evident last time we met.”
“What’s up?” I asked, getting straight to the point. “If this is about the past…”
“No, no,” he interrupted. “I want to talk to you about a new opportunity. What are you doing these days?”
“Nothing much,” I admitted.
“You did all that complaining back in A-stan, but you’re enjoying that money, aren’t you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, not believing what he was saying on the phone.
“Look, let’s meet up, okay? This is a solid idea, and you’re the perfect partner.”
“I don’t know, Max.”
“You fucking afraid?”
“Man, don’t do that to me.”
“Do what?”
“Try to manipulate me. It doesn’t work.”
He laughed.
“Not anymore, huh? Anyway, what do you say? At least hear me out.”
“Fine. When do you want to do it?”
“You got time now? I have a hot date tonight.”
“Sure, now is fine. Where you at?”
“Let’s meet at Lucy’s Diner on Fifty-Third Street.”
“I’ll see you there in half-an-hour,” I said then ended the call.
Whatever he had in mind, I was not interested, but he wouldn’t stop bugging me until I told him in person and made it abundantly clear we weren’t going to go into business together ever again.
*
On the walk to Lucy’s Diner, I wondered what Max might want. Why had two people with connections to Afghanistan come into my life at roughly the same time?
I had sought out Jade, but Max had showed up on his own? Was it just a coincidence? None of the world made much sense. Ever since I returned, my view of the world had changed.
All I thought about was coming up with a way to get over the guilt attached to the money I had made illegally while serving my country. It didn’t matter how many times I told myself we hadn’t hurt anyone.
When it came down to it, I had participated in a scheme that had made many people wealthy. The money I received was enough for me to do nothing for a while, but I had to come up with my next step.
Jade didn’t seem to be the type of person who would date someone without a job or any prospects for the future. And I wasn’t going to let her go easily this time around
When I made it to the diner, I saw him sitting in a booth next to the front window. He nodded and smiled as I walked up to the door and opened it. I walked over to him and sat down.
“What’s up, bro?” he asked, more jovial than I remembered him.
“Same old, same old. You?”
A waitress walked up, pad of paper at the ready to take our order. He ordered a coffee with no sugar or milk. I did the same. When she left, he looked across the table.
“I’m looking for a partner.”
“I don’t want to be part of any of your schemes.”
He laughed.
“Damn, bro. Jump to conclusions often? This is totally legit.”
“Yeah? And what is it?”
“I’m starting a security company. I’ve already got three big name clients lined up, and I need to find people like you who I can trust.”
“You want to hire me?” I shook my head. “Not interested.”
“No, bro. I need a financial partner.”
“Oh, so you want my money.”
“Well, yeah, but you too. I like how you think things through all the time. We made a good team back in Afghanistan.”
I took a deep breath and shook my head.
“It’s not for me. Not now.”
Do not tell him about hunting down Jade.
He stared into my eyes, his brow furrowed as he studied me.
“Will you at least think about it? I’ll write up an official proposal with all the terms and details.”
“You can do that, but I’m telling you I’m not interested.”
“Before you even know the details, bro? That doesn’t sound like the Cooper I remember.”
“We all change. At least some of us do.”
“Harsh, but fair.”
The waitress returned with our coffee. I took a sip while glancing out the window. Several people passed by, wrapped up in their own worlds, oblivious to anything else.
I finished my coffee as quickly as possible, ready to leave. If Jade called, I didn’t want to be anywhere near Max or his crazy plans, legit or not.
The mystery of the night before continued to play itself out in my mind as I craved answers. Max rambled on about something, but I tuned him out.
After I drank the last of the bitt
er brew, I slid the cup to the center of the table then stood. He glanced up, making eye contact. I hated everything about him.
“I’m leaving,” I said. “You can email me the information, but I’m probably not going to change my mind.”
“At least read the shit, bro. You can do that for me, right?”
“Yeah, I’ll read it. Thanks for the coffee.”
“Still a cheap bastard, huh?” he said then laughed.
I turned and walked to the door, already wrapped up in my thoughts. The image of her face when I first slid into her flashed through my mind as I walked home, deciding what to do next.
SIXTEEN
Cooper
When I got back to my apartment, I called Logan, my old bunkmate in Afghanistan. We hadn’t talked in almost a year, but with everyone else from Afghanistan coming back into my life, I figured I should search him out too. Maybe he had the answers I sought.
“Hey, Cooper. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, I’ve been laying low since I got out.”
“I hear you. What’s up?”
“Want to grab a beer? I’ve got some stuff I want to talk out.”
“Oh no,” he said, chuckling. “More of your crazy theories on the origin of the universe or why oranges are the perfect fruit?”
I smiled.
“You remember all that shit?”
“Dude, we spent so many hours together. Your stories and monologues kept me going.”
“Glad I accomplished something over there. Let’s grab a beer tonight.”
“I had some plans, but I’ll change them. Where do you want to meet?”
“Let’s go to that joint down Seventy-Fifth Street. What was the name?”
“The Irish Paddler?”
“Yeah, that was it. We met there before we shipped out. Remember?”
“How could I forget. One of the craziest nights of my life.”
“I don’t think we’ll get that crazy tonight.”
He laughed.
“That’s what you always say. I’ll meet you there around seven. That work for you?”
“Sounds great, Logan. Good to hear your voice.”
“Yeah, you too man. Later.”
I ended the call. Afghanistan, even at the late stages of a war that had lasted longer than a decade, had been a place where lifelong bonds were formed for better or worse.
Was that why Jade wouldn’t vacate my thoughts no matter what I tried? Maybe a night of drinking with Logan would eject her, and I would be able to move on.
I did not need a crazy woman in my life. No matter how much I enjoyed fucking her. After talking to Logan, my spirits were lifted enough to make the afternoon tolerable.
While reading an autobiography from a man who had served in Vietnam, I kept glancing over at my phone, thinking Jade might call, but she never did. Fucking women.
*
Later that evening, I walked in the bar like I owned the place. It was pretty much empty, which wasn’t surprising for a Tuesday night. Most normal people who frequented bars had to work hard for their drinking money.
I saw Logan sitting at the bar and walked over. Taking a seat on a stool to his right, I patted his back as he looked in the other direction. He turned around and smiled the moment he saw me. We had been through so much together.
“How you been?” he asked then turned to the bartender. “Two glasses of your top-shelf single malt.”
“Not bad. Yourself?”
“Things went to hell after I got back.”
I nodded.
“For me too.”
“You seem to be doing okay for yourself. I mean, you’re drinking on a Tuesday night.”
“Oh, I’m doing okay. You’re here too. Glad you came.”
“No problem.”
The bartender returned with our drinks. I pulled out a twenty and shoved it across the bar at him.
“Keep it,” I said.
He nodded his head then wandered down to the other end of the bar. I lifted the glass.
“To the family the government gives you.”
Logan grinned as he clinked his glass against mine. We both took a healthy drink. He set his down on the weathered wooden bar. I kept mine in my hand, staring at the ice cubes floating.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked. “I can see it on your face.”
“Remember that reporter chick who showed up and got kicked out by Captain Jeffries?”
“Yeah. What about her?”
“I looked her up.”
His face scrunched up in confusion.
“What?” I asked then finished the last of the alcohol.
“Max called me all excited about a week ago. He said he found her and they were dating.”
“That’s not possible. I just saw her yesterday.”
“She didn’t tell you?”
“No, she didn’t say anything. He didn’t either. I talked to him earlier today.”
He shook his head.
“That man is bad news.”
“Tell me about it. He wants me to go into business with him.”
“You have the money.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know if I can trust him. And now I find this out. Maybe I can’t trust either of them.”
“Some days it seems like everything was so much simpler in Afghanistan. I mean, it was more dangerous, but we knew what to expect, you know?”
I nodded.
“Definitely. Max showed up after I found her.”
“And you figured why not add good old Logan to the list, huh?”
He laughed then finished the rest of his drink. I raised my hand to fetch the bartender for another round. Before it was finished, I had turned off my phone.
Fuck her if she tries to call, I thought, still unsure of what to think after she had flipped out after we fucked the other night. I did not need that kind of confusion in my life.
I had enough of my own crazy to deal with. More than enough.
Logan and I spent the night catching up, drinking and forgetting our problems. I parted ways with him after he picked up some woman with brunette hair and big tits.
On the way back to my apartment, I turned my phone on, thinking about giving Jade a call and seeing if she was okay. When I saw no messages come in, I put it in my pocket and kept walking.
Maybe it’s for the best, I told myself. If this business opportunity with Max turns out to be legit, maybe I’ll be able to have something in my life with actual meaning. Then again, maybe not.
Climbing the stairs to my third-floor apartment, part of my daily routine for keeping in shape, my phone rang. I dug it out of my pocket and saw Jade’s name. After half-a-second of consideration, I ignored it.
With liquid courage running through my veins, I didn’t see any need for her in my life. I had done fine enough without her. I would keep doing fine
She appeared in my dreams that night, chasing and teasing me in a thousand different ways. I woke up the next morning with the hardest boner I’d had since my teenage years.
What is that woman doing to me?
SEVENTEEN
Jade
When he didn’t answer my call, I figured it was late, and he was asleep or doing something else. The next day, with each hour that passed, I became more obsessed with talking to him.
I still wasn’t able to explain my craziness after we had made love, but I was ready to try. He kept appearing in my thoughts. I had to give him a chance if he would have me.
After controlling my urge all day, I broke down after dinner and sent him a simple text message, “You around?” He answered with a simple, “Yes.”
“Can I come over? Talk?”
A minute passed. No answer. Then another went by. I fucked it up. He’s done with me. Right before turning my phone off so I wouldn’t stare at the screen all night waiting for him, it buzzed.
The text message contained an address across town, nothing more. My heart raced. While attracted to him physically, I wasn’t sure i
f he was a person that I’d want to try turning into something more.
Would he even want me as a girlfriend? A million questions went through my mind as I rushed to my bedroom to pick out something to wear. I wanted to look sensual not slutty.
As I got dressed and freshened up, I thought about what to tell him. The truth is best, I told myself. Even if he wants nothing to do with you after it. But what is the truth about my feelings?
I told myself I was only going over to his apartment to talk and explain my actions the other night, but I wore my special red panties just in case things got heated. With a man like him, how could they not?
In the cab on the way over, I sat with my legs pressed firmly together, wondering if the skirt I’d chosen was too short. He probably already thought I was using him for sex.
Did he think that’s why I was coming over? The questions spun in my brain, causing me to become even more nervous. Ever since losing my job as a freelance journalist, I lacked the confidence I once had.
My father had said I was crazy and needed to work harder, but after not even a week in Afghanistan, my life had changed dramatically, one thing crashing after another. And Cooper was connected to that.
Was that why I wanted to see him again so desperately? A hope he would have answers I’d not been able to find on my own? Only one way to tell. He’s either going to understand or be an asshole.
The cab arrived at his apartment. I paid the driver then got out, the wind whipping up and sending my hair in every direction. I rushed to his front door where a man in a nice blue uniform opened it.
“Welcome to Rosary Tower,” he said. “Are you here to see someone?”
He held a tablet in his left hand.
“I’m here to see Mr. Anderson. He’s expecting me.”
“Hold on a minute,” he said, scanning the tablet screen. “I don’t see your name.”
“Can you call him? I just talked to him half-an-hour ago.”
“Sure. Hold on.”
I watched nervously as he walked over to a desk and picked up a phone. Maybe I should just go. Like that night in Afghanistan and the other night, this is yet another bad idea.
He walked back over with a smile on his face.
“Sorry about that, ma’am. I’ll walk you to the elevators.”
“Thank you,” I said. “What room is he in?”
“He’s got the entire top floor. Mr. Anderson is the king of the tenants here.”
Mr. Charming_A Mistaken Identity Bad Boy Romance Page 21