by Theresa Kay
Imagine my surprise when I saw him in a holovid on the news a few weeks later. He was standing next to his father at some awards ceremony and Serena, the same tall, willowy blond from high school, had her arm linked with his. During the clips of the ball afterward, a lot of camera time was spent on the two of them dancing together, he in a stark white commander’s uniform and she in a flowing ball gown. Her darker blond hair complimented his when she leaned her head on his shoulder and her ice blue gown was the exact color of his eyes. The commentators introduced her as ‘the younger Markham’s long-time girlfriend and newly announced fiancee.’
To say I was devastated would be an understatement. My heart shattered in my chest and it was all I could do to make it back to my quarters before completely losing it. I cried, I raged, and then I cried some more. When I pulled myself together enough to be seen, my first stop was Nathan’s door. There was no way Harvey could have kept something like this a secret.
Even my very loud and persistent pounding couldn’t make Nathan be in there, though, so my second stop was the commissary. Whether it was my red-rimmed eyes or my threat on his life, the guy on duty was convinced to give me at least three times more beer than I was allowed to have. Straight back to my silver-walled room I went where I proceeded to drink almost every drop.
I was pretty well drunk before Nathan found his way to my door.
“You knew! Bastard!” My fist went for his face, but he was easily able to dodge the blow and catch my hand.
He pulled me tight against his chest. “Yes.”
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me? Was this all some big joke to you guys? Watch Eva make a fool of herself?” Each question was punctuated with a feeble hit to his arm.
Nathan pressed his lips together and shook his head. “God no. I’d never want to see you hurt. I knew about Serena, but I didn’t know about your time with Thomas on Epyson until Harvey let it slip earlier. And I sure as hell didn’t know you two had been…whatever…since then.” He grabbed my chin and pulled my face up until I was looking at him. “If I’d known, I would have said something. Thomas knew that and that’s why he didn’t tell me either. I am so sorry little spitfire.”
There was no mistaking the remorse and pain in his voice and the tears started again. I threw my arms around his waist and sobbed on his shoulder while he rubbed small circles on my back and made soothing noises.
Nathan slowly walked me backward until my legs hit the bed and then lay down beside me and curled his body around my shaking shoulders.
Once I stopped crying, he gently wiped my cheeks with his fingers. “You’ll get through this. You’re the strongest person I know.”
Laying there, inches from his face, I studied his deep brown eyes. Not the startling blue of Thomas’ but still beautiful. I closed the distance between us and softly pressed my lips to his.
Nathan returned the kiss, just a gentle movement of his mouth against mine, but then he pulled back. “Eva, you’re my best friend, but I won’t let you use me to forget him.” He rubbed his nose against mine. “Besides, we’ve been here before and you’re like a sister to me. Even drunk, you had to have noticed you and I don’t have that kind of spark.”
It was true, his kiss gave me nothing but comfort, but his words still stung for a moment. And then I laughed and he did too.
“I’m a little mortified,” I said, giggling. “Let’s never talk about this again.”
He agreed and we changed the subject completely. Instead, we reminisced about our boot camp antics, the latest flight sims we’d completed and any other happy subject Nathan could come up with. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep with my head under his chin and his arm around my waist.
Sometime in the early morning, the sound of the door sliding shut woke me and I was alone with a headache pounding behind my closed eyes. Too hungover to care, I rolled over to my stomach and drifted in that space between sleeping and wakefulness.
Nathan’s voice outside my door caught my attention, but I could only hear part of what he said. “…dare you show up here!”
Some mumbled response.
Then Nathan again. “No….need you…just leave.”
Another quiet response and then even Nathan’s voice became too low for me to make out. A few minutes later the door slid open and so did my eyes. Nathan came in, sleep-tousled, shirtless and with a scowl on his face. A flash of blond hair caught my eye behind him, but it was gone before my tired brain could really process it.
Nathan pulled his shirt and boots on and smiled at me watching.
“Who that?” My pounding head wasn’t ready to form complete sentences.
He shook his head. “Nobody. Just go back to sleep.”
He didn’t have to tell me twice. Later that afternoon when I finally dragged myself from bed in search of coffee, I realized it had been Thomas outside my door. I told myself I didn’t care and eventually that could have been true, but I had a vidmail from him waiting for me that evening when I returned to my room. Of course, I couldn’t resist opening it.
8- Now
Familiar arms wrap around me from behind. “Don’t worry Nathan,” says Thomas. “You’ve taken care of our girl for two years. It’s my turn now and that’s a responsibility I’m more than happy to take on.”
Still wary, Nathan nods. “It’s a pretty heavy responsibility. I can’t imagine your father is done trying to mess with our lives.”
Thomas’ arms go rigid. “I can handle my father.”
“I sure hope so.” Nathan shakes his head, kisses my cheek and walks away.
I lean back and tilt my face up. “Do you think the General is done with us?”
Thomas shrugs and kisses my nose. “Probably not, but I suspect he will find it a lot harder to stop us now that you’re the flight corps’ darling. Besides, even with all the obstacles he put in my way getting here, I did get here, even if I was a little late. Now that we’re together we can handle whatever he throws at us.” He nuzzles my neck. “Have I told you yet how utterly proud I am of you?”
“A couple times, but you could always tell me again.” We laugh and I rest my cheek on his head.
In this one moment, I am content. I’ve got Thomas’ arms wrapped around me, Nathan and Harvey at our sides and most of my flight crew around me. In this instant, I have everything I’d ever wanted.
Then, the multi-room slide show halts, the alarms blare, and my perfect moment falls apart around me.
9- Then
The vidmail explained almost everything. Some things I knew (the General hated me) and some things I didn’t (the General had actively worked against me for years). By the end of it, I just sat back in my chair with my mouth open. A relationship with Serena was expected of Thomas, but it was all a show. The two were good friends, both with overbearing parents, who’d agreed to keep up the facade until they could break away on their own. She even knew about me and Thomas (I’m not so naive I’d take his word on that, she was actually in the vidmail too).
Other connections I’d never imagined started coming together. Thomas’ constant pleas for Nathan to take care of me were an effort to protect me from the General. It wasn’t by chance I’d ended up in one of the toughest boot camps on a planet with horrible communications, and it was only Thomas’ influence that got Nathan and Harvey stationed there with me. Nathan’s assignment to the front after boot camp was no accident, but it was meant for me. The two boys agreed to switch my assignment for Nathan’s. Thomas’ haggard and exhausted appearance on Epyson when he came to visit me was because he’d traveled for days while trying to stay under his father’s widespread radar. His rapid departure that morning? Because the General had almost tracked him down and he had to draw him off me. Even the holovid was nothing but well-placed propaganda. If I hadn’t seen it on the news, a copy would have probably been delivered to me.
I was more than a little irritated that neither one of the boys had told me any of this before and there were quite a few curses I directed at b
oth of them. But all in all, I forgave them. Now that my relationship with Thomas was out in the open, at least in our little group, both Harvey and Nathan were happy for us. Even though mine and Thomas’ daily vidmails were back in effect, flight school graduation couldn’t come soon enough. Thomas had managed to get assigned as commander of a newly built space station on the outer edge of the Panatra Quadrant and was just waiting until I completed training to request that my squad be assigned to him.
Two months before graduation, Thomas finally managed to come see me for the first time since our reunion on Epyson. I arranged a few days leave with my instructors and met him on Litherul, only a couple of jumps from the flight school station.
We had a lot of time to make up for, so for two entire days we wrapped ourselves in each other, barely leaving the bed, much less the room. Our third morning started out well enough, but it didn’t end that way.
My fingers traced lazy circles on Thomas’ chest and then trailed lower, following the trail of hair that started below his belly button until they wrapped around him. Still half asleep, he groaned and rocked his hips forward. The only invitation I needed. I gave one of his nipples a light bite and then climbed on top of him. He didn’t stay asleep for long, soon gripping my waist and matching each slow roll of my hips. Swiftly flipping me onto my back, he drove himself into me quick and hard until both of us were left trembling, sweaty and speechless.
He pressed soft kisses along my hairline and then one on the tip of my nose. “God, you’re insatiable. I love you. ”
I laughed. “I love you too.”
Thomas rolled off me and onto his back, pulling me over until I was cradled against his chest again. “You know in a few more months, we can wake up like this every day.”
I pushed up on one elbow and brushed his hair back. “You know I think I’d like that.”
“You think?” He raised an eyebrow. “I’d better make sure you know.”
Fingers digging into my side, he tickled me until I was so breathless all I could say was, “I know. I know.”
He laid his head back on the pillow. “You’d better.”
With me curled against him, we lay there in silence for a moment. Lost in thought, I didn’t even notice he said something until he lightly pinched my arm.
“What?”
“I said, we’ll still have to be careful for a while, though.”
“What do you mean?” I tilted my chin up so I could see his face.
“I’m a ship commander. I’ll be your commander.”
“Damn straight you’ll be my commander. You can command me anytime you want.” I slid my hand down his chest and then lower.
Thomas grabbed my wayward hand and pulled it to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the center of my palm. “I’m serious Eva. We’ll both have jobs to do and I’ll be your superior officer. We won’t be able to be public with our relationship…for a while. I’ll have to keep up appearances and— ”
I yanked my hand away. “You mean you’ll still have to keep me a secret?” Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I stood and reached for my bodysuit. “Does this mean Serena will need to be there too? Keeping up appearances and all, you’d need your fiancee, right? Probably have to share a cabin with her too huh?”
The burn behind my eyes threatened to turn into tears and I blinked rapidly while I zipped my bodysuit and went for my boots.
Thomas’ hand wrapped around my wrist and he pulled me up until I was looking at him. “It’s not like that at all and you know it. We have to take this slow and do things right.” He dropped my hand and shook his head. “This hurts for me too. I haven’t been able to protect you. I haven’t been able to be there for you. I want to give you everything, but I just can’t and that kills me. As much as I want to, we can’t just run off and get married and have a bunch of kids.”
“Yet. We can’t get married and have a bunch of kids yet. Right?”
His shoulders dropped and he looked at the floor. “I don’t know if that will ever be something we can have.”
Crack! My open palm connected with his cheek and he didn’t even bother trying to dodge it.
“Did you think I’d just be your secret lover forever Thomas? Like some kind of embarrassment you could hide when it suited you? I’ve been such a blasted fool.” I lost the battle with the tears and they fell freely down my face. My voice broke and I nearly choked on my next words. “It’s over Thomas.”
I ran out of the room, out of the building and directly to the nearest launch pad to catch the next flight out. It went in the completely opposite direction of the flight school, but the blank quiet of hyperspace was just what I needed. I spent the last two days of my leave hopping from planet to planet, ship to ship, until I found my way back to the flight school station.
Nathan and Harvey ambushed me in the mess hall and yelled at me for making them worry. I hadn’t even bothered to take a comlink on my little jaunt and all they knew was that Thomas and I had a fight and I disappeared. Their reprimand didn’t last very long as I started crying again and Nathan gathered me into his arms and led me back to my room.
Not just one, but twelve frantic vidmails from Thomas waited for me. I deleted every single one without watching them.
Nathan still lingered in my doorway so I turned my attention to him.“Tell him I’m safe and I forgive him, but I need time.”
He nodded and left, the door sliding shut behind him.
Three weeks later, I discovered I was pregnant. After at least ten false starts, I managed to record a vidmail informing Thomas and sent it off, the very vidmail that put into motion the horrifying events that were to follow.
10- Now
As a training station on the outer edge of a well-patrolled system, we have few outer defenses and even fewer weapons. On a night like this, trainers off station, the squad fresh from graduation and with more than half the unit passed out and the others too drunk to be much good, a drill would be unnecessary and perhaps even cruel. This is not a drill.
But then, what the hell is going on?
The overhead lights go dark, only to be replaced by the eerie red glow of the emergency lights along the floor. We’ve lost primary power.
Training kicks in and Nathan and Harvey move closer and the other pilots circle around. All of them look to me. Taking in their slightly unsteady positions and bleary eyes, I’m thankful I’m pregnant and couldn’t drink this evening. Although Nathan and Thomas haven’t had much to drink, I’m probably the only fully sober one of the bunch.
I swallow and clear my throat. The proximity alarms have been triggered. As well as the landing bay one. Primary power….has been cut? Unknown threat. Thomas squeezes my arms. In the event of an unknown threat, we need to secure a line of communication and work our way towards the command room. Should the command room be compromised, go towards the escape pods.
Each word that leaves my mouth straightens my shoulders and brings my voice under control. “Janning…. Yanak and Bridges locate and rouse the rest of the unit. They may not have heard the alarms.”
An uneasy laughter flows over the group.
“Clarke, Kendall, and Heven get to the training room and secure as many functional weapons as you can. Wainwright (Harvey) and Stone (Nathan) you boys are with me. I will head to the command deck and we will all reconvene there. Should I not arrive or should the command deck be compromised, immediately proceed to the nearest escape pod. ” I roll my shoulders and take a deep breath. “This is probably just a drill, but treat it like it’s not. Be quick. Be quiet and, above all, be safe.” The lie rolls off my tongue smoothly.
When the six men I’ve tasked with other things leave and it’s just me and my boys, I pull all three of them to me until we’re in an awkward huddle.
“This ain’t a drill,” says Harvey.
I nod. “I imagine if the primary power has been cut that means command deck has been compromised somehow. We’ll take it if we can, but I have no idea what we’re up against here.
”
“Forget the command deck, you’re getting in an escape pod,” says Thomas.
I turn to face him and put my hands on his cheeks, forcing him to meet my eyes. “You know I can’t do that. I’m the squad leader. I can’t run at the first sign of danger and I sure as hell can’t leave my unit behind.”
“But…you’ve just tonight graduated from training…and we…you’re…”
I shake my head. “That doesn’t absolve me from this responsibility.”
Thomas looks over my shoulder, his eyes darting back and forth. “Harvey? Nathan? You can’t let her do this.”
“We have our orders,” they say simultaneously.
Thomas clenches his fists and takes a step back. “I outrank you. I outrank her and it is my orders that Eva be put into an escape pod before proceeding.”
Nathan steps forward, but I put a hand on his chest stopping him. “Now is not the time to pull rank, Thomas. You know nothing about this station and are in no position to be giving any orders. I need you behind me on this, hell in front of me if it makes you feel better, but I need your support here.”
“Fine.” A brisk nod from him has the other two circling around me, Thomas to my left, Harvey on the right and Nathan bringing up the rear.
We exit the multi-room and make our way down the corridor. At each branch, we stop and one boy carefully checks around the corner before we proceed. The alarms have quieted, but the red glare of the emergency lights still masks the hallway. Everything is quiet. Perhaps it was just a drill?
We reach the door to the command deck without incident and it’s still quiet.
Harvey snorts, but his voice wavers a little. “Good thing we didn’t let you send your wifey off to escape from a drill. She’d have never lived that one down.”