“Watch out,” I said, pulling Bridget toward me. “You’re stepping in goose droppings.”
For some odd reason, our town had an influx of geese this time of year. They would all congregate in certain areas like the high school track or especially around the bike path. Bridget checked the underside of her chucks to make sure she hadn’t stepped in any residue.
Everything was going great until about a mile into our trip. That was when a flock of geese unexpectedly crossed in front of Brendan’s bike, causing him to brake so hard that he went airborne.
For a brief moment, it felt like my world went dark.
Simon ran ahead of me so fast. It took me a couple of seconds to realize why. I must have been glancing out at the lake the very moment it happened.
My heart fell to my stomach as I hurried to catch up to them.
Brendan was lying on the ground, his arm badly scraped and bleeding. But he wasn’t crying. My son rarely cried, which I was grateful for, because seeing him in any kind of pain killed me.
Trembling, I was the one crying as I helplessly watched Simon lift my boy into the safety of his arms, carefully inspecting every inch of him and asking lots of questions.
“What hurts?”
“My arm and my knee.”
“You didn’t hit your head, right?”
“No.”
Thank God.
Thank you, God.
“Brendan, you need to be more careful,” I said.
Simon was quick to correct me. “It wasn’t his fault. There was nothing he could have done. Those giant birds jumped right out in front of him. I saw it happen. Completely unavoidable.”
“Can you walk okay?” I asked.
Simon carefully put him down. Even though he was still shaken, Brendan moved his legs around and nodded that he was okay to walk. Simon then knelt down and pulled him into a tight embrace. The same massive relief I was feeling was written all over Simon’s face as well.
I picked the bike up off the ground and began wheeling it back.
Walking two steps behind them, I watched as Brendan reached for Simon’s hand. He hadn’t even hesitated to do it, and Simon took it so effortlessly as if it was totally natural. I just kept staring at Brendan’s little hand inside Simon’s massive one.
When had this happened?
I knew that Simon had grown close to my son, but it had never really sunken in that—whether I was trying to prevent it or not—a serious attachment had already developed.
For the first time, it hit me. Simon’s deciding not to take the Leeds job—it wasn’t just about me. He wanted to be here for Brendan, too. He wanted this. He wanted us.
I’d been so preoccupied with my own fears, I hadn’t really opened my eyes to what was actually happening around me.
We cut our afternoon outing short and headed straight home after a quick stop for Del’s frozen lemonade; it was right on the way back anyway.
When we arrived at the house, Simon treated Brendan’s wounds and confirmed he didn’t need stitches; he was going to be just fine. It was helpful to have a doctor around in times like these. I would’ve probably been second-guessing everything and might have taken him to the ER just to get another opinion to confirm that he didn’t have some hidden injury.
Once Brendan was cleaned up, the three of us were hanging out in the kitchen.
Simon clapped his hands together. “How about I go to the store and get us stuff to make tacos tonight?” He knew that was Brendan’s favorite meal.
My son perked up. “Can you get the Doritos shells?”
“If that’s what you want, sure.” Simon smiled.
Brendan’s next question changed the mood fast.
“Are you going back to your friend’s house after dinner?”
Simon looked at me, seeking guidance on a response. It was time to set the record straight. Truthfully, I’d made the decision, just hadn’t had the guts to accept it until this afternoon.
I looked over at my son. “No. Simon is staying here with us, Brendan.” I looked over at Simon to make sure my intentions were clear. “He’s moving back in permanently.”
My son looked between us then straight at Simon. “Until you move to England?”
Simon took a moment to gather his thoughts.
“Well, that was the original plan, but actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. I wanted to know how you’d feel if I stuck around instead?”
His question seemed to take a few seconds to register with Brendan, who’d likely never considered the possibility of Simon actually staying.
“You’re not leaving us?”
Leaving us.
The way he put it really made me realize how he’d truly felt.
Simon knelt down to be eye level with him. “I went back there to visit. You knew that…to see my parents. I really missed them. But the thing is…I missed you more—you and your mum. And I realized I didn’t want to move anymore. I want to stay here with you guys. Because you both make me really happy.”
Simon’s declaring that to my son meant more than his telling me he loved me. It was more of a commitment than most marriage proposals, even. When you look a child in the eyes—particularly one who’d lost his father—and tell him you’re here to stay, that’s about as serious as it gets. I knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Brendan. He would never make a promise to him that he couldn’t keep.
Brendan looked stunned, like he’d never expected this, like this entire time had always been about preparing for Simon to be gone, preparing for another loss. His eyes started to glisten. My son, who never cried, was tearing up. Not because he fell and got hurt, but because he loved Simon. It was as simple as that. He’d been holding back from allowing himself to feel that love because he was sure he would lose him.
That sort of sounded like someone else I knew.
Simon looked ready to tear up himself as he smiled. “Please tell me those are happy tears…”
Brendan nodded and said, “Really happy.”
“C’mere.” Simon pulled him into a hug.
My heart was melting as my son released a breath into Simon’s shoulder.
If Brendan was able to finally exhale, maybe I could, too.
That night, after I tucked Brendan in, Simon was waiting for me in the living room. He’d poured two glasses of wine and set them aside. He had his big feet up on the coffee table as he waited for me.
I didn’t know why I was so nervous all of a sudden. It was probably because I knew it was time to unload all of the things I’d needed to say but hadn’t.
Simon could sense my tension. He opened his arms, encouraging me to join him on the couch. “Come here, you.”
I took my place next to him and curled my body into his chest.
He spoke before I had the chance.
“I’d like to stay in my old room indefinitely. It’s too much too soon for him, otherwise.”
I looked up at him. “I agree.”
“I’m not his father. Regardless of what you saw today, it’s not my intention to replace anyone. It’s a lot for any kid to see someone moving into his mum’s bedroom. I don’t care how much he looks up to me, that would be weird for him right now.”
“Thank you for understanding that.” There was so much more I needed to say. I took a deep breath. “I owe you an apology for my behavior when you came back from England. I had gotten into a mode of self-protection, and it was really hard to break free from the pattern. I was truly convinced that you would be gone from my life and that I needed to protect my heart. Today, though, it really sank in that you’re not going anywhere.”
“I’m not, Bridget. And as much as it pains me to apologize for firing that Noel or whatever his name was, I’m also sorry I overstepped my bounds and angered you.”
“You weren’t totally off base about him. He had tried to ask me out.”
Simon looked like the vein in his neck was about to pop. “Fuck. I knew it. I’ll break him if he ever comes around ag
ain.”
Smiling slightly, I said, “I didn’t entertain it for even a second. I was so distraught when you were gone. I couldn’t think of anything else. And then when you came back, it felt like a dream. You’d told me everything I’d ever wanted to hear. And it just seemed too good to be true. The fear just paralyzed me.”
“You want to talk about fear? I know I said the words aren’t important, but you don’t think my heart skipped a beat when you didn’t tell me you loved me back? You don’t think I wake up in the middle of the night wondering if you’ll ever love me as much as you loved him?”
Ben.
It never occurred to me that Simon had any hang-ups about that.
The vulnerability in his eyes in that moment was something I’d never seen from him before.
My truest feelings were really hard to admit. I’d never uttered them aloud until now. But his openness deserved reciprocation.
“Doesn’t God only give you one soulmate? Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? But, Simon, I feel things for you that I’ve never felt for anyone. I will always love my husband. But I love you so much. You wake up in the middle of the night wondering if I can love you as much as I loved him? Well, I’ve lost sleep feeling guilty that maybe I will grow to love you more. And that sometimes makes me so sad for him that I don’t now how to handle it.”
I was a sick fuck that it gave me pleasure to hear her say that— as much as it had also broken my heart that her feelings for me caused her that kind of torment.
She’d felt things for me that she hadn’t felt for him.
It’s not a contest, Simon.
What mattered most was that she finally said the words I’d longed for—that I’d counted on hearing when I said goodbye to my parents and my nan and told them I’d likely not be returning anytime soon.
As much as she’d given me what I needed tonight, I also realized the way in which she’d admitted her love was bittersweet. The shadow of her late husband would always be present. I should have never made her feel like she needed to compare us. But love breeds insecurity, making people weak and needy.
Still, it was the first night I truly felt like she was mine. And that was making me want to show her exactly how much she belonged to me.
I caressed her hair. “Let’s go to my room.”
Today was emotionally draining. I needed release and couldn’t wait a second longer to bury myself in her.
I knew from the look in her eyes, she needed it, too. Her skin was flush, and her eyes were hazy even though she hadn’t had a drop of wine.
Bridget stood up, and I gently pressed my body against her back as I led her to my quarters.
“We’ll lock the door,” I rasped, my cock painfully hard. “Just in case he wakes up.”
The last time we’d made love, we’d done just that—made love. Even though that was intense, tonight I wasn’t in a gentle mood. Between her telling me that the fucking handyman had tried to get into her pants while I was gone and then her admitting she loved me, my emotions were all over the place. I just wanted to ravage her and stake my claim.
“I need to fuck you hard, but I know we have to be quiet,” I said.
Her breathing became more rapid with my words. “The bed will make too much noise. Take me on the floor.”
Fuck yes.
“Take everything off but your knickers then get down on all fours,” I said as I unbuckled my pants and stripped down.
I knew Bridget loved it when I was demanding. She’d only ever experienced rough sex with me—no one else. And that pleased me to no end.
Her beautiful ass was sticking straight up in the air—so inviting. I took the pleasure of doing something I’d always fantasized about when I ripped her underwear off of her with my bare hands, shredding it in one harsh movement. She flinched, but the smile she flashed when she looked back at me told me she loved it.
“I just fucked up your days of the week, luv.” I slid my hands down the slope of her back. “I’m gonna fuck you so good to make up for it.”
She felt wetter than I could ever remember as I sank into her. I knew I wasn’t going to last very long, because having her this drenched and at this angle was too much.
“You feel so incredible. This beautiful ass is mine,” I whispered, plowing into her. “Tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m yours. Only yours.” Her nails were digging into the carpet.
“Say it again.”
“I’m yours. Fuck, Simon, you’re in me so deep like this. Fuck me harder. I can take it.”
She didn’t always talk dirty but when she did, it put me over the edge.
Thrust after thrust, I felt my balls tightening until I couldn’t hold back any longer. When I knew she was climaxing, I let myself go. Even though I wanted to come inside of her, I pulled out, instead opting to decorate her beautiful ass with my cum. I was marking my territory, and it was a sight I wouldn’t soon forget.
My residency would be coming to an end soon; I still didn’t have a permanent position in Rhode Island lined up.
If Bridget and I were officially together now, then it really didn’t make sense to hide our relationship from our co-workers at Memorial anymore. We agreed that while we wouldn’t announce anything, if someone happened to find out, we weren’t going to deny it.
The way in which our co-workers actually discovered it, however, wasn’t how I would’ve ever chosen for it to happen.
Bridget didn’t realize I was within earshot when a certain conversation was happening at the nurses’ station one afternoon. Hiding behind a wall, I listened as several of the women were discussing me right in front of Bridget. It was awkward and disturbing, to say the least. This had probably happened before without my knowing; but things were so much different now.
I could hear a few of the nurses theorizing about my sexual prowess among other things.
How fucking hot I was.
How they wouldn’t mind trying me out.
How there won’t be any eye candy anymore when I’m gone.
Brianna, the nurse I’d had a one-night stand with before Bridget and I became involved, decided to use the opportunity to announce that she had in fact once “sampled the goods.”
“He was so good in bed. But I know he didn’t want anything serious, so I respected that.”
“I just have to know…how big is he?” someone asked.
“He’s exactly how you’d think he’d be. Maybe even more.”
Bridget was standing right fucking there, and I knew she was hurting having to listen to that shit. There was no bloody way I was going to let them disrespect her, even if they didn’t realize what they were doing. Not to mention, this was so goddamn unprofessional.
I emerged from behind the wall, startling them.
“Thank you for your compliments. But I think this needs to end right now.” I turned to Brianna. “Yes, we had a brief encounter early on this year, but I’m spoken for now. And I highly doubt my girlfriend appreciates having to stand here and listen to you talk about it. So please have respect for Bridget and not talk about me in front of her.”
There were a few gasps. I didn’t give a flying fuck.
Brianna looked at Bridget then me. “You guys are together? I had no idea. I thought you said you don’t do relationships.”
“I didn’t—until her,” I said.
Bridget chose to remain silent while the women just stood there looking dumbfounded.
Brianna apologized for her little kiss and tell before the other nurses quickly dispersed like a bunch of pigeons.
Bridget was still quiet. I knew the whole exchange had really upset her.
I placed my hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?
“Honestly? I feel sick.”
I couldn’t help my smile. I was pretty sure she was ready to smack me, though.
“You think this is funny, Simon?”
“Not at all. I’m not smiling because you’re upset. I’m smiling because it means you love me. Y
ou feel sick with jealousy because you love me.”
“I do love you. And honestly, they have some fucking nerve talking about you like that here.”
“I’m sorry you had to hear all that, especially the Brianna thing.”
“You already told me about that skank. The last time you took her out, you brought your cock home for me. Remember?”
“Yes, darling. I do.”
She tried to shrug it off, even though I knew she was still upset. “Anyway, it’s not like I didn’t know you had a life before we met. It’s okay.”
“No.” I leaned in, taking in a whiff of her scent. “No, I didn’t have much of a life. I just thought I did. My life was nothing until you guys.”
Wanting to kiss her so badly, I refrained. We were at work, and she wouldn’t have appreciated that. I planned to make up for lost time at home later.
Her nightly visits to my room were what I lived for. In many ways, sneaking around was more exciting than sleeping in the same bed. She always made sure she was back in her own room when Brendan woke up in the morning.
Bridget was blushing. I loved that I could still make that happen.
“I have to go,” she said before walking away. I stood there, proudly watching her rear end bounce.
A phone call interrupted my arse gazing. It was someone from hospital administration. Memorial and the previous hospital where I used to work were part of the same conglomerate. They needed me to head to my old stomping grounds after work today to discuss a lawsuit I’d somehow gotten dragged into. A woman was suing the hospital for malpractice, and I was named in the suit along with about ten others. I’d known about the upcoming deposition for months, but it must’ve slipped my mind with all of the other life-changing shit I was focused on.
Just brilliant.
It was going to be a long night before I’d get to go home to my luv now.
I wasn’t a fan of lawyers. Especially the disrespectful dipshit I was currently sitting across from.
British Bedmate (A Series of Standalone Novels) Page 17