“Wanda and Eye will keep you busy so I don’t imagine you’ll have much time to do anything here but sleep. We don’t allow visitors so you’ll have to find your entertainment within the family.” He smirked. I didn’t want to read further into what that remark might mean.
“Mr. Rossi, Wanda said you could arrange for a portion of my wages to get to my grandmother in Campbellford.”
He seemed a little put-off but nodded. “I can arrange that. I have a bonus for you right away.”
“Oh?” I didn’t care for the way he looked at me. My gaze slid to a dusty freestanding lamp at the edge of the room. I wondered, should I need it, was the base hefty enough to do his skull damage?
And if it did, how’re you going to escape the Circle alive, genius?
“Your predecessor left our employ in a hurry. Tanya was curvier than you but you may find something that will fit. Her clothes are where she left them, in the closet and the chiffonier.”
Chiffonier? I decided he meant the dresser. Wanda was right. I was in high cotton.
“Why don’t you try on a few things?”
He gave no indication he intended to move.
“I’ll look later,” I said, “when I’m alone.”
“Suit yourself.”
But I’d caught his annoyed look before he could cover it up with casual denial. I would have to watch him. I wondered if his wife knew about how he acted with girls in his employ. I didn’t have to wonder long.
“Hello again, Kismet.” Evelyn Rossi’s head appeared at floor level. If not for the circumstances, the appearance of her disembodied head might have been comical. She must have crept up the ladder very stealthily in order to eavesdrop.
“Kirk? Don’t you have some notes to go over before the evening meeting?”
He seemed smaller under her withering glare. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll get right on that, peach.” He turned back to me. “It’s an old house and we treasure it. I just came up to say that we don’t want any candles burning up here. You’re probably used to using candles where you come from but we don’t do that here. Fire hazard.”
“I understand, sir. Like you said, Atlanta already burned down once.”
Looking at him with his sheepish grin, sweating in the pale light, I had what Grammy would call a passing fancy. I thought it might be nice if Atlanta went up in smoke again, the part within the Circle’s walls, anyway.
Chapter Nineteen
Evelyn stood silently as her husband made his way down the ladder. She waited until we couldn’t hear his footsteps on the wooden floors anymore. “Mr. Rossi is a flirt at times but he will take no for an answer. See that you always say no.”
“Mrs. Rossi, this day started … I don’t know. It feels like this morning was days ago. I’m exhausted, I’m smelling funky and I did not give Mr. Rossi any sign that I — ”
She waved her hand, silencing me. “Moving on, now that you’re in my home, I need to make you aware of several ground rules. Wanda will educate you on the routines of this house and the chores for which you will be responsible. I need to speak to you about today.”
“May I sit? I wasn’t kidding about being exhausted.”
“Please?” she prompted.
“May I sit, please?”
Reluctantly, she gestured for me to be seated. With great relief, I took my place on the cot. I could barely keep my eyes open.
“Several of the prisoners who escaped this morning have already been apprehended.”
I wondered if Picasso was among them but even knowing his name might be considered too close an association. I remained silent and watched as she paced back and forth in the small space.
“Did you notice that there were no red jumpsuits among the prisoners this morning?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Well, there weren’t. Do you understand the significance of the color red within our justice system?”
“People who wear the red jumpsuit have been convicted of sex crimes. The Select chose red because some people are proud of what they do even when they shouldn’t be. I’ve been present when a convict announces him or herself proudly. Perhaps they are too stupid to be ashamed. Maybe they listened to the wrong people and didn’t understand that they weren’t taking a stand. They were making a confession. When these people confess their crimes, they often speak of love. That’s why we chose red for their jumpsuits. Red is the color of the heart so it is associated with love. Red is also the color of danger. Do you understand?”
I nodded.
“My husband has a soft heart. He asked for mercy for your predecessor and so she was merely … ”
Banished from the safety of the Circle forever, I thought.
“Fired,” Evelyn said.
Her implication was clear. Kirk Rossi had flirted with Tanya Dunford. Maybe he forced himself on her or maybe, as his employee, she simply didn’t think she could refuse. That amounted to the same thing. My mind reeled at the thought and again, I wished I had my knives.
“We have laborers who come inside our walls every day, tradesmen, mostly. Construction work needs to be done. We need some outsiders to maintain our way of life. You would do well to remember who you represent when you go about your business for the Rossi family. You are to be polite and quiet around the family and, to maintain security, circumspect around strangers. Do you know what circumspect means?”
“I do. You ask that I be discreet.”
“So you have the words but do you know what it means in practice?”
“Don’t tell anyone anything they don’t need to know, I suppose.”
“Anything else?”
“Don’t get too friendly with the help even though I am the help?”
“I would have preferred you leave it at ‘don’t get too friendly with the help.’ If you require companionship, Wanda will have to do.”
I took this to mean that, in addition to avoiding her husband’s advances, I should avoid any plumber who might enter her domain, also.
“Am I going to have any trouble with you, Kismet?”
“No, Mrs. Rossi. I’m just grateful for the opportunity. I slept on concrete last night.”
Evelyn’s smile was not a pretty thing. Something about the way it failed to reach her eyes suggested an underlying carelessness. I’d saved her child that morning but she had money. She didn’t need me. I felt disposable. I was certain that no matter how long I might serve her, that feeling would not fade.
“Your predecessor took Eye outside the gate without permission. You are never to do that. Understood?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“The person who slept in that bed was a silly girl. She thought she knew what was best. She had no idea. That’s the trouble with stupid people. They are so sure of themselves. I rose to the position I hold today because I was right, every step of the way. But I was righteous, too. Do you read the Bible, Kismet?”
“My grandmother read it to me when I was little.” The words were a maze in which I could get lost. Bible readings helped me fall asleep when Campbellford nights got too hot.
“Psalm 34:17,” Evelyn said. “‘When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them from all their troubles.’ I stand among the Select, delivered from all my troubles because I am righteous.”
I couldn’t help but think of all the Bible verses that spoke to the suffering of the poor and sick. I was almost moved to argue but this was neither the time nor the place. The truth was, all I wanted to do was eat, sleep and be left alone. Evelyn took my silence for agreement.
She gave me a long look and sighed as if a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders. “All that’s left are the little things. If you have questions, always ask Wanda first. She’s been with the Rossi family forever and has forgotten more than you’ll ever know. The bathroom is downstairs. You will want a shower. It’s early but, as you say, you are exhausted. Have a shower and I’ll have Wanda leave your dinner at the top of your ladder.”
I felt like a
small, naughty child being sent to bed.
“Use the other girl’s soap and shampoo.” Evelyn gestured vaguely. “They must be here among her things somewhere. Do you know what a Navy shower is?”
“Turn on the tap so I get just enough water to get wet, lather, rinse off, conserve water.”
“Correct. However, you will be happy to know that you may shower every other day.” She smirked. “We can’t have you running around with Eye smelling funky.“
Evelyn slipped her hand into a hidden pocket of her dress and withdrew a gold key. “This key is yours. You will not lose it. I’ll get Wanda to find you a necklace to put it on so there will be no excuses.” Careful not to touch me, she dropped the key into my upraised palm.
She pointed to the trap door over the entrance to the attic. “It gets hot up here. You can leave the door open through the day and get some air in. At night, close it and lock it, for privacy. Very well?”
“Very well, ma’am.”
In case her husband got any ideas, it was clearly my responsibility to keep him locked out.
“I have a key, too. You can be locked in, if necessary.”
Though my eyelids felt as if there were heavy weights on them, a surge of anger roused me. “For security reasons?” I asked.
Evelyn’s smile conveyed no warmth. Content to let me fill in my own answer, she began to climb back down the ladder. When she was nothing but a disembodied head again, she paused. “I can tell you’re a clever girl. Never think you can be too clever with me. I wasn’t always a Select. I know the secret thoughts of servants. I remember what it feels like to be part of the background, nothing more than furniture. Sometimes I even miss that feeling. You have no idea of the number and weight of all my responsibilities since I came to the position I have now.”
“It must be a burden,” I said.
“See? That’s the sort of thing I mean.” Evelyn mocked me in a high, childlike voice, “It must be a burden.’”
“Ma’am — “
”It could be earnest sympathy but we both know it’s not. It’s sarcasm. That won’t serve you well or long in my house. You might fool someone born to the Select but I was not to the manor born. Even they let slip that they haven’t forgotten I’m not one of them. I didn’t go to Brandeis.”
I didn’t know what Brandeis was. My main concern was having enough food to eat, having enough money to send to Grammy and getting a good night’s sleep. My highest aspirations were what the Select took as a given.
“You remind me a little of myself at your age, Kismet. There’s something about your look that is inherently insolent.”
“Grammy calls it ‘resting bitch face.’”
Evelyn laughed. “Your grandmother is not wrong. If I see too much of that look, you could be out of here just as fast as your predecessor. From now on, unless you want to express heartfelt thanks to me, lower your eyes in my presence.”
Like wolves, Picasso had said. A direct look in the eyes is a challenge.
I bowed my head. “Yes, ma’am.”
“You might do, after some training.”
“I really am glad I’m here and I do appreciate the opportunity. Thank you so much, Mrs. Rossi. You’ll never know how grateful I am.”
Her nod of approval gave me a genuine smile. Despite her certainty that she could read me, I could lie to her face convincingly.
Chapter Twenty
I awoke back in Campbellford in my own bed. Judging by the angle of the sunlight slanting through the window, it was mid-afternoon. Disoriented, I sat up and looked around my small bedroom. Sissy and I had bunk beds when we were little but the top bunk got too hot so we scrounged twin beds, side-by-side.
Several pictures hung along the wall. Mostly there were photos of Sissy and me as babies. I was always the baby and so I was babied. She became a little jealous of that. At seven and five, she looked possessive of me, as if she were my protector. At twelve and ten, we are both sitting on a couch with a couple of feet between us. I’m smiling but, by the look on her face, Sissy was a little sick of me. In our early teens, we fought. I can’t say when that stopped but by the time she left to join the Air Force, we were the best of friends.
Our only sticking point was that she didn’t want me to call her Sissy anymore. “The whole world can know you as Susan Beatriz,” I said. “Only I can call you Sissy.”
“Once I get to Air Force School at Wright-Patterson, I can become a different person, reinvent myself.”
“Why the change?”
“I’m not a kid anymore, Kismet. I’ll be a full citizen soon and I want to be taken seriously,” she said. “How do you suppose I’m going to get to be a flight surgeon if anyone calls me Sissy? Susan is my name. I’m not ashamed of it.”
“You know what I think? I think you’re trying to pass.”
“Pass?”
I gestured toward her face and mine with circles. “You know what I mean. No matter where you go, you’ll be a Susan. Don’t forget where you came from. You really think going from Sissy to Susan will make much of a difference? It’s not the name that will hold you back. It’s the people in charge calling us Latinxiles — ”
“You’re just echoing Daddy.”
“Is he wrong? He should be a lieutenant by now. He’ll be a corporal forever. Anyone with a Spanish name taps out at corporal while every white boy from Texas is fast-tracked to eat in the officer’s mess.”
“If I come back on leave with a doctor on my arm, you better call me Susan then or I’ll knuckle up and blast you right in the nose.”
I agreed. The memory made me smile but something was wrong. The bunk beds were gone. So were the twin beds. Now there was only the narrow cot from the Rossi’s attic. My gaze came to rest on the empty spot where my sister’s bed used to be. I looked down at my body. I wore a filmy white gown that looked like my mother’s wedding dress. I’d never worn anything so fancy.
Something was wrong. Sissy wanted to be a flight surgeon but that was not what was decided for her. The powers that be assessed her aptitude and chose another life for her. Instead of getting funneled into the Air Force’s medical track, she was tasked to work in Intelligence.
Then I saw my dog, Quentin. Excited, he circled the garden, barking and wagging his tail, so happy to see me. I was happy to see him, too. Though his presence filled me with elation, I knew it couldn’t be right. I looked to my father and sister for an explanation.
“Is this real?”
They said nothing.
“I’m dreaming, aren’t I?”
When I looked back at Quentin, he was nothing but a pile of bones.
At that, the dream became lucid. I walked out of the bedroom and looked for Grammy but she wasn’t in the house. I heard someone outside and went to the window.
Sissy and Daddy waited patiently in the backyard. We were supposed to call them victory gardens but everyone we knew referred to them as survival gardens. We grew tomatoes, carrots, beets, radishes, cabbages, and beans. The root vegetables seemed to fare best.
I didn’t have to run to them. With a thought, I found myself standing beside them. My smile faded as tears slipped down my father’s cheeks.
“When Louisiana and Florida flooded, I was glad to be deployed there to help,” Daddy said. “When Vegas became a ghost town, I assisted with the evacuation. Same with helping to fight the Californian wildfires. Then they sent us to San Francisco. Guys from the South were surprised to find liberals owned lots of guns, too. While conservatives bragged about their weapons and posed with them in camo, liberals had been preparing, collecting arms quietly. The battle for San Jose turned into a hot mess.”
“Where’s Mama?” I asked.
My sister looked at me as if she wanted to say something but had been struck mute.
Daddy spoke for both of them. “The Army says your mother can finally come back but her leg won’t come with her.”
“I don’t understand.”
“If she stays in service, she gets t
o keep the prosthetic leg and her citizenship. Otherwise ….” He shrugged.
“But she lost her leg on duty! This isn’t right!”
“Cutbacks. They cut care for veterans first.”
“This isn’t fair!”
“Oh, my sweet girl,” Daddy said. “Haven’t you learned yet that fairness has nothing to do with anything?”
“Where is she?” I asked again.
Sissy’s eyes went wide. She seemed close to bursting.
“You can speak. Tell me.”
My sister seemed relieved. “You don’t know where Mama is so we can’t know, either!”
I turned away. I could feel the tears on my cheeks and, for a fleeting moment, I was in two worlds. I stood with my father and sister in the dream, lucid and eager to fly away. But I was also locked in a sultry attic room in a narrow house within the Select’s fortress. In the distance, from far beyond the horizon, I heard a chant that I could not quite make out. It had a cadence to it that, after a few moments, transformed into a march. Thousands of feet pounded concrete and chanted something … something …
I’m losing the dream, I thought. In a moment, I’ll be awake. I’ll lose them.
Again. I’ll lose them again.
I turned to say goodbye to my father and sister but they were gone. Our little vegetable crop had disappeared, as well. All that was left was the burnt earth.
I awoke from the dream before I could fly away. Drenched in sweat and tangled in sheets, I struggled to extricate myself from the bed and staggered to the window. My breath came fast and my pulse pounded in my ears. Craning my neck, I gasped for fresh air but found no respite. At night, Atlanta was an oven.
The sound that had woven itself into my dream remained. That much was real. The chant and the thunder of many feet echoed among the city’s buildings, alleys and canyons of glass and concrete. Off New Atlanta’s walls, the motto of the Resistance rose in an angry, quickening war cry. “Don’t hope. Do. Don’t hope. Do! Don’t! Hope! Do!”
Citizen Second Class- Apocalypse Next Page 11