She looked into his eyes. “You’re not angry?”
“No.”
She gently bit the inside of her cheek. “I handled it all wrong. Do you think Ann will forgive me?”
“Yes.” His voice was low and soothing.
“Minnie?”
He smiled and shrugged. “Don’t know what’s going through her mind.”
Just then Katy remembered something. She wiggled her arm free and reached into her pocket for a small container of her homemade hand cream. “I meant to give her this. For her cracked fingers. Will you take it to her?”
With reverence he stared at the small Tupperware container in the palm of his hand. His voice grew gravelly. “Oh Katy.”
CHAPTER 27
Katy watched Mr. Weaver walk to the front of the sanctuary, and her gaze went to the plain wooden cross on the wall behind him, a humble symbol of the Lord’s ultimate sacrifice. She hoped today’s special meeting addressing the head-covering ordinance would be God honoring.
Lil sat to Katy’s right, whispering to Mandy. On Katy’s left, Megan fiddled with her purse strap, no doubt nervous for her father and well informed of the many facets of the issue.
Mr. Weaver cleared his throat, and the congregation quieted. He held up his left arm and pointed to his watch. “The board of elders has elected to allow one hour for discussion, and then we will conclude the meeting with a vote. Women are invited to give their opinions on the matter. Keep your comments short. Everyone will be allowed to speak no more than twice per household to avoid any heated personal debates. Who will begin?”
A young mother stood up with a toddler straddled on her hip. He squirmed and swatted at her face, poking her eye. Blinking, she handed him down to her husband, who was seated beside her.
“Yes, Sister Irene.”
“I think we should wear the covering because it’s like baptism. A symbol that reflects an attitude of heart and spirit, one of love and submission and obedience to God.”
The congregation remained quiet, and another woman shot to her feet.
“Sister Terri.”
“Symbol is the key word here. But home’s a private sanctuary. I don’t need to wear a symbol at home. I don’t have to prove anything there.” She glanced fondly at the tall, thin man beside her. “Simon knows my heart. God, too. That’s all that matters.”
Irene stood, holding the baby again, this time patting his back. “It’s not about proving anything. It’s about honoring God’s order. The design of the body attests to it. Men are designed to lead. Women nurture.” She cradled her little boy into her arms to demonstrate her point. He reached up and batted her face. She rubbed her face into his playful arms and sat back down.
Next Mandy stood. “I’m not opposed to wearing a covering, but if we’re going to be biblical, why not wear something that actually covers, like a larger veil?
Mr. Weaver recognized someone at the far side of the room, who had been trying to get acknowledged earlier. Katy strained to see who had stood. Lori was a single woman, self-educated, and rumors were that her learning included how to use the Internet for other than business purposes. Her sisters had all married into a higher church. She was also the church librarian. “I say it’s all a principle. The actual cultural practice is old-fashioned and not applicable to today when women hardly even wear hats any longer. I love the people in this congregation. You are my family. I’d hate to have to move to a higher church because of this little piece of organdy.”
Katy stifled a gasp, and Megan touched her hand, whispering out of the side of her mouth. “She’ll leave if this doesn’t go her way.”
It would be sad to have to replace her in the library, and she was an excellent quilter, too. An elderly woman stood, leaning heavily on the pew before her. “I’ve never talked in church before. But I’ve prayed over the years for most everyone here tonight. Or at least one of your loved ones.” She took several deep breaths. She had severe asthma, and speaking was difficult. “You probably think I’m old-fashioned, but I’ve seen a lot of changes in my day. And change is not necessarily good.” After several wheezy inhales, she said, “The church ordinances were put there for a reason. We—”
Beside her Lil rolled her gaze heavenward.
The woman spoke longer than was necessary, as if she took to being in the limelight, making the entire congregation uneasy with her struggle to breathe and her incessant rambling. Mr. Weaver grew antsy, moved to the head of the center aisle. Eventually she got around to her point. “We know that we are not to conform to the world. Once the prayer covering goes, it’s only a matter of time until we will blend in with mainstream society.”
“Mainstream?” Lil whispered. “Where’d she learn that word?”
“Probably reads the newspaper,” Katy replied.
Next a man spoke. “Just as every action we perform throughout the day is a choice that reflects our relationship with the Lord, I consider wearing the covering a personal choice, not something to be forced. Just like salvation.” He sat down. For this meeting, couples had been encouraged to sit together instead of taking separate sides of the room as was customary during regular church services. Now his wife nudged him. He popped back up. “And the style of the covering should be personal choice, too.” He started to sit and popped up again and grinned. “Long as it’s not a baseball cap.”
Titters filled the auditorium. Everyone realized that last tidbit was the only original part of his spiel.
“Anything more to add?” Mr. Weaver asked, with a teasing glint in his eyes.
The speaker shook his head and crossed his arms. His wife leaned into him with a proud smile.
Then one of Megan’s professors stood. He spoke clearly, enunciating every word as he might in a classroom when he wanted to make a point. “Free choice? As in women wearing male attire like blue jeans? As in abortion? Or feminism? Or perhaps women ordination?”
A second collective gasp resounded in the sanctuary. All those issues seemed far-fetched, even to Katy, but she respected him for reminding them of the pressures of society.
Her own experiences lately had shown her how easy it was to get pulled into worldly ways. She wanted to remain in God’s will. The shelter of His wings was the only place where one could find stability and safety. Minnie came to mind. God hadn’t prevented her from getting Alzheimer’s, but when swinging, she’d been aware of His presence, even joyful.
Katy considered her most recent encounter with Jake. When he’d held her and comforted her, she’d felt safe, yet tried to jump off his lap. But he’d clamped his arms tightly and lovingly until she’d submitted. They had resolved their problem. Was that the meaning of submission? Did it bring a woman to a better place? And wasn’t the covering submission to God?
The elder in charge of the meeting looked at his watch. “There is time for a few more comments.”
Katy had butterflies, yet her opinion welled up inside her and threatened to spew forth. But she didn’t know if she could express what she understood in her spirit. Like many of the others who had not made the best impression, she’d never spoken up in church. She might even hurt the cause. Many of the husbands sat red-faced, grim-mouthed. But she didn’t have a husband. Jake was present. Ann, too. If she spoke, would they be reminded of the recent covering incident?
The next speaker was another man. He read the long passage of scripture in Corinthians. Katy felt like he was stealing from the congregation’s discussion time, for they had already covered the scripture several times in the course of Brother Troyer’s sermons. She tried to calm herself, to listen. She tried to remain open-minded. To silently pray. But after the man sat down, she found herself on her feet.
“Yes, Sister Katy,” Mr. Weaver said gently.
“I—” She closed her eyes a moment and swallowed, trying to put her thoughts into a short summary. The image of God’s sheltering wings shot into her mind again, along with the scripture she’d just heard. “But we are to wear the covering on behalf of t
he angels. According to the scripture just read, they are present in this room.” She paused. “Right now.” Nothing else came to her mind so she sat.
Silence prevailed for a long moment. She dipped her head and stared at her skirt, thinking she had not expressed her opinion logically. Megan took her arm in support. The silence prolonged. And amazingly, nobody else stood. Her heart drummed inside her, for she wondered what everyone was thinking. Still nobody spoke. She slowly raised her head. Across the sanctuary, several heads were bowed. A rush of shivers passed over her.
Then a sweet note filled the silence, and she turned toward its source. One of the women had started to sing from her pew. Her words rang pure and sweet wafting over the otherwise silent room: “Angels from the realms of glory, wing your flight o’er all the earth.” Katy joined her voice to the rest of the congregation’s. “Ye who sang creation’s story, now proclaim Messiah’s birth; come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ the newborn King.”
At the end of the song, Mr. Weaver spoke in a reverent tone. “I believe the angels are observing our meeting. In the awe of this holy moment, let us pray.” His prayer held reverence and worship. A few Amens sounded afterward.
He looked over the congregation and explained, “If the vote to keep the present headdress ordinance does not pass, then the elders will appoint a committee to write a new ordinance. That one will be brought to the congregation for a vote of approval. Let us take our vote now regarding the original ordinance. Remember, only church members are allowed to participate. All those who wish to keep the head covering ordinance as it is, please stand.”
Katy stood. Megan and Lil both remained seated. But Katy joyfully noticed a large number of men and women stood with her. After they were counted, Mr. Weaver asked them to please be seated. Then he said, “All opposed to the present ordinance on the headdress, please stand.” Lil and Megan stood, and a lump of despair and unbelief filled Katy’s throat when she saw that the opposing side was equally represented. Her heart drummed inside her as she waited for the count to be concluded.
“Be seated.” Mr. Weaver coughed into his hand. “The opposed have it. The ordinance will be amended. This meeting is now adjourned.”
Stunned to silence, the congregation slowly rose and, Quaker-like, filed out of the meetinghouse. The winning side did not gloat, and the losers did not protest. Generations of practicing nonresistance came to the fore and governed the congregation’s actions. Everyone seemed to understand that it was best to just disband until everyone had time to pray over the elders’ decision since it was such a controversial matter. Katy followed the suit of the others, but inside, she felt turmoil. Soon the turmoil turned to anger.
When they’d reached the parking lot, Megan said, “I want you to know that I stood because I believe the only way we can keep the congregation from splitting is to allow everyone to make their own decision. I’m sorry. I know it hurt you. I hate to go, but I’ve still got homework.”
A black veil shuttered Katy’s vision at the glib explanation. “Bye,” she mouthed, woodenly.
As she and Lil walked toward the car, she was pleased Lil made no small talk, and even more pleased to note that nobody unpinned their covering in the parking lot. She had a mental picture of what Megan said happened with caps at graduation ceremonies.
“Katy, wait up.”
She halted, squared her shoulders. She wasn’t feeling up to small talk, even with Jake, who knew where she stood on this matter. “I’ll wait in the car,” Lil said softly. She nodded and turned, unable to fake a smile. “I’m sorry.” He took her hand.
Chapped and ungloved, she felt his touch on her bare skin. She’d been too shocked to remove her gloves from her purse. He rubbed his thumb across the top of her fingers, and she almost warmed to the physical contact. Yet she resisted, unable to give in to defeat.
“It should make Minnie happy,” she said sharply.
His hand fell away at the cruel remark. The shock in his expression sent a pang of regret through her. “Katy,” he said sadly.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that. I just can’t deal with this.”
He cast a quick glance over his shoulder and stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets. “Can we drive into New Rome, get some coffee?”
“I don’t think so. I’m not good company right now.” She longingly glanced toward the car. “Lil’s waiting.” She knew she should invite him over to the doddy house, but she really wasn’t in the mood. With that, she turned away from his hurt expression and walked across the crackling parking lot. Only headlights broke the darkness, each vehicle heading off to their solitary places.
CHAPTER 28
On Monday morning, Katy tossed her cell phone on the nightstand, then quickly grabbed for a Kleenex. She sneezed twice, her eyes welling up in tears. “Ugh.”
Lil perched on the edge of Katy’s bed. “How did Tammy take it?”
“She wasn’t pleased I called in sick. She asked if I could come in tomorrow instead, if I was feeling better. I do need the money.”
Lil nodded sympathetically. “Here’s coffee. Maybe it will help. I’m going to make a big pot of chicken noodle soup. It’ll be ready in a couple of hours, and you can sip on it all day. And I’ll even clean up the kitchen.”
Katy took the coffee with little strength to protest. “Thanks.”
“Hey, you know how we’ve been hoping for a chair for the living room?”
After taking a cautious first sip of her coffee, Katy nodded.
“My mom’s willing to give us her green-striped armchair. And if you agree, I can get Jake to haul it over.”
“Why is she willing to let it go?”
“Well, you know how she’s been moping around ever since the fire?” Katy nodded.
“Her birthday’s coming up, so Dad told her to pick out some new furniture. He wants her to get a recliner-rocker that’s just her size. He’s worried about her.”
“I was sorry to hear that she resigned from the hostess committee.”
Lil’s shoulders sagged. “We’re all worried about her. We’ve never seen her so depressed.”
“I know the fire’s bothering her, but do you think empty-nest syndrome has anything to do with her despondency?”
Lil’s eyes widened. “You think? I guess I was her baby. Maybe I need to visit her more often.”
Katy crooked her mouth in mock deliberation. “Nah. I can’t imagine why she’d miss you. Can’t say as I would.”
Lil’s mouth flew open, and she countered, “If you weren’t sick, I’d make you eat those words. I know how ticklish you are.”
“But I am so sick right now.” She popped a throat lozenge in her mouth and glanced at the tropical turquoise wall and longed for summer. It had been a long, hard winter in her soul. And she was growing weary of it. She sighed and took another sip of coffee. “Yuck, those two don’t mix.”
Lil chuckled. “Dummy. So it’s okay to take the chair?”
“Of course. It will add some color, too. Though without two chairs, I suppose we’ll fight over it.”
“You bet we will. Just like everything else.” Lil studied her a moment, and then ventured, “I haven’t told you, but I’m sorry for you, about the outcome of the head-covering vote. But at least you’ll be able to still wear yours. That won’t change.”
“It is a symbol. I feel like Megan’s professor. That without it, we’ll just become part of the world.”
“I don’t want to argue, but if it’s a symbol and someone’s heart isn’t really in it, then it makes them feel like a hypocrite. That’s how I felt. That’s not good, either. You know how Jesus hated hypocrites.”
She knew, because sometimes she felt like one, too. She’d felt like that after the ballet. “I know. I’m surprised you’re still wearing yours.”
“I figured it would break your heart if I didn’t.”
Katy saw the caring in Lil’s eyes. It brought back a memory flash.
That first summer at
camp. In one of the group games, Lil had taken a different trail from Megan and Katy. They’d needed to pair off, and Lil had gone with one of the Mennonite girls who wore shorts. It was a scavenger hunt and race to a designated clearing. Katy didn’t remember who won, but what she remembered was the reunion and excitement at the clearing, and how they’d each shared their adventures.
She saw that’s how it was with them. How it always would be. They were always going to go at the goal from a different path. Her throat thickened, whether from the cough drop or her emotions, she wasn’t sure.
She whispered, “Bend down.”
“Huh?”
“Just do it.”
Lil bent, and Katy reached up and unpinned Lil’s covering. Lil straightened, her eyes round. In a sudden rush of emotion, she hugged Katy.
“You’re going to catch my cold.”
“I don’t care. I love you.”
“I know. But I expect to see that covering on at the church meetings.”
“Duh.”
“Okay, go start that soup. I need something to get me out of this bed.”
Lil started toward the door, then looked back. “Thanks for understanding.”
Once she was gone, Katy spit the cough drop into a small trash can and turned onto her stomach. Her own covering sat on her nightstand beside her cell phone. She punched her pillow and released her sobs.
That afternoon, Katy lay on the couch, reading an inspirational romance novel, but she was jolted out of the story when the heroine used the phrase sensational solo woman. The heroine was bragging that she didn’t need a man to find happiness. Since it was a romance novel, she assumed the heroine would change her mind somewhere in the plot. Still, she paused to toy with the idea. Could she remain single and be happy?
It was the Mennonite way for a woman to prepare herself for marriage and children. It was presumed that every woman sought fulfillment in wifely duties and motherhood. She’d always gravitated toward that end herself, dreaming of one day marrying Jake or after they’d broken up, some other godly man.
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