“Are you kidding, Mom? Everything I’ve learned about hating men, I’d learned from you.”
What was I saying?
How were those words falling from my mouth?
When did I become so cruel?
The tears sitting at the back of Mom’s eyes began rolling down her cheeks, and David was quick to soothe her. Mima was staring at me with shock in her eyes.
“You know what, Shannon Sofia, maybe you should go if you are going to have that attitude. This is a joyous occasion, and I won’t let you ruin this for your mother.”
I hadn’t known what to say, because Mima was right. I should’ve left, because nothing about me was feeling joyful in that moment. I felt confused. Betrayed.
Mom spent years expressing how men were evil. How could she just up and change her mind one day, and act as if it was normal?
I gathered my things, and left my grandmother’s apartment, murmuring an apology on my way out.
“Shay, wait!” a voice called after me as I was walking down the hallway.
I turned to see David chasing after me. A knot formed in my stomach as he approached me, and I pulled my purse closer to my chest.
“Yes?”
He rubbed his hand against his full salt-and-pepper colored beard and sighed. “I know you don’t trust me. You have every reason to be wary. You don’t know me from Dick or Jane, and I get that. I am a complete stranger to you, but I promise on everything that I am that I love your mother. I love her so much in ways that I didn’t know love could exist, and I will spend forever proving to both her and you that my love is true.”
I wished I could believe him, but I still hadn’t a clue who he was, other than a man my mother met three months prior. “I’m sorry, this is just too much for me. You have no clue what my family has been through.”
“I know. I only know the things Camila has shared with me about your father, and your grandfather, and I know that there is a lot of trauma there. But I swear, I’m not them. I’ll work to prove it to you, but I want you to know that I’m okay with you not trusting me right off the bat. Trust is earned, not given. So, take as much time as you need.”
I didn’t say another word to him, because I didn’t know what to speak. My mind was running a million miles an hour and didn’t seem to be planning on slowing down any time soon.
I left my grandmother’s with heavy guilt sitting on my chest for making my mother cry. I couldn’t give her my blessing, though. Not when she was falling in love with a complete stranger.
The next day, I did my best to shake Mom’s and David’s engagement news from my mind. Lucky for me, Sarah kept me busy at work.
“I need you to run lines with him,” Sarah instructed me after she finished getting ready in hair and makeup. She’d just spent the past hour going on and on about how her body was beyond bloated due to Mima’s epic Sunday dinner. I hoped I never lived a life where carbohydrates weren’t allowed.
If it came down to it, I’d rather die fat, with a smile, and a Twix candy bar in my mouth.
Any other way seemed too torturous. What was I supposed to do? Die with a salad? What would my tombstone read? Here lies Shay Gable. She lived her life under one thousand calories and never enjoyed a Snickers.
What a sad, sad life lived.
“What do you mean run lines with him?” I asked, sitting at her table.
“You know—run lines,” she echoed, as if I were deaf or straight up dumb. “He asked me to do so with him the other day, but I’m too busy. I have a reiki master coming in to give me a session, but he needs someone to run lines with him.”
“Can’t his assistant Willow do it?”
“Yes, she can,” Sarah agreed, but she gave me a devilish grin. “But it should be you who does it. That why you can get me some more information on him. Like his new favorite hobbies or foods. I want to plan something for him, but I need more dirt.”
“To be honest, I don’t really feel comfortable doing all of this, Sarah.”
The last thing I’d ever wanted to do was help hook Landon up with another woman.
For a split second, I swore I saw flames flash in Sarah’s eyes, before she returned to her normal, sweet—yet odd—self.
She took in a few breaths and released them slowly. “Shay. I know this might not be the most normal job position for you, but this is part of what it entails, all right?” She walked over to me and handed me the script. “Please do the job without complaints. We get along so well,” she chimed, smiling ear to ear, but I could tell she was forcing it. “I wouldn’t want any of that to change. Okay?”
It sounded more like a threat than anything else.
I swallowed hard and took the screenplay from her. “Okay.”
She went back to her bubbly personality and clapped her hands together. “Oh, wonderful! I’m glad we’re all on the same page. I’m glad I was about to make myself clear.”
“Crystal.” I smiled through gritted teeth. I knew if I didn’t take that script, I probably would’ve been out a job by the end of the day. And my bills would’ve been so pissed off at me.
I headed over to Landon’s trailer, and knocked twice before Willow opened the door with a wide smile.
“Oh, hey, Shay. What’s up?” She grinned. Willow had been my saving grace over the past few days, coming off as a bit of a mentor around the set. It was clear she’d been working in the industry for a long time, based solely on how she moved as if she belonged.
I was still tripping over my feet, trying to act normal even though I felt like a clown with oversized shoes on at all times.
“Hey. Sarah said she was supposed to run lines with Landon, but she couldn’t make it over. So, she sent me to do it.”
Willow paused for a second, with a confused brow, but then she smiled again. “For sure, come on in. I was just going to head out for a while to go find some breakfast.” She hopped out of the trailer and made way for me to enter.
I walked up the steps of the trailer and was pleased when Landon’s space was the complete opposite of Sarah’s. There weren’t major signs of hippie mojo going around. Just calming music and a television on ESPN.
I could handle that.
Landon looked up from the couch, where he was comfortably seated scribbling down in a notebook, and he stood to his feet. “Shay. Hey.”
My fingers raked through my hair as butterflies settled into the pit of my stomach. “Hey. Sorry to bother you, but Sarah said you needed to run lines with her? But she’s too busy right now so, she sent me to do it with you.” He raised a curious brow, and I smiled. “I know it doesn’t make much sense, but I’m learning to just go with Sarah’s requests.”
“That’s probably a smart thing to do. She can be quite a handful if someone goes against her.”
“Something I’m learning daily.”
“Come in, take a seat. There’s only a few scenes I have to go over, but your help would be great.”
I did as he said and began flipping through the script. Holding someone’s actual script in my hands felt very surreal to me. I was holding another’s dreams against my fingertips, and secretly someday hoping that I’d do the same with my own on a set.
Landon didn’t pick up his script, but instructed me to go to page thirty-three, as if he knew each scene and page number by heart. It didn’t surprise me because when we were in Romeo and Juliet together, he was off script in a matter of days.
I flipped through to the location he recited, and the moment he began the screen, I was fully enamored by his persona.
Landon was a fantastic actor as a teenager, but as a grown man? He owned every word that came through his lips. He never overacted or underacted in a scene. He delivered the words with conviction and prose, and when he was meant to fall apart due to the words, he fell apart in such a way that it brought tears to my eyes.
Landon Harrison was meant to be an actor. He excelled at it, and it was a gift to watch his performance in the trailer that late morning. It felt like a
secret gift that I wanted to keep solely for myself, but soon enough he’d find his way to the set, and everyone else would be able to take in the excellence that was him.
“You were amazing,” I bellowed, my breaths catching in my chest.
He frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I feel as if I can do better.”
“Says the perfectionist.”
“What can I say? I learned it from you. I remember how hard you used to be on yourself back in high school when you were acting.”
I laughed. “That’s because I didn’t have anywhere near the talent that you did. I swear, you have more talent in your pinky than I do in my whole body.”
“Liar,” he said so sincerely that it sent chills up and down my spine.
I shifted my feet around. “This script is beautifully written, though. I got chills reading the words. It’s powerful.”
His eyes widened with intrigue. “Your words are more powerful. You should really let me pass on one of your scripts,” he offered for the millionth time.
“Once again, hard pass. I want to try to do this on my own first, and it feels like I’m moving in the right direction.”
He nodded. “I’m proud of you, Chick.”
“Nothing has happened,” I said.
“Not yet.” He smiled. “But it will be soon enough. I just know it.”
His belief in me set my mind for a spin. I shifted around against the couch cushion and cleared my throat. “Well, I should let you get back to whatever it was you were writing. I need to go check to make sure Sarah’s taken care of and—”
“Hang out with me,” he cut in.
“What?”
He blinked a few times and shook his head back and forth. “I don’t mean right now, obviously. I have to be on set in a few minutes anyway, but I’d like to hang out with you. Outside of work. I just want to…” His words faltered off, and he shrugged his shoulders. “Hang out with me, Shay.”
I wasn’t really certain what to say to his question, so I said the only thing that came to mind. “Okay.”
His eyes widened as if he was surprised by my agreement. He brushed his hands through his hair and then cringed from doing so. I was sure his hair person took a good time to get his waves just right. Thank God this movie no longer had him as a blond. He looked best with his deep brown locks.
“Great, okay, good. I’m taking a yoga class at your grandmother’s studio this afternoon. Maybe you can join me there and we can grab a late dinner after?”
“One step at a time, Landon. How about yoga and we’ll go from there,” I offered.
He nodded, seemingly okay with that plan. “I’ll take whatever you give me.”
A knock fell against the trailer door before Willow popped her head in. “Hey, sorry to interrupt but they are calling for you on set, Landon. Sarah is already out there.”
“Which means, I’m not where I’m supposed to be,” I joked, standing to my feet. “Job well done, Landon,” I said, holding my hand out for a shake.
What the heck?
Did I really offer him my hand to shake?
What an awkward person I’d become.
He shook my hand with a smile, though, and thanked me for helping him out.
All three of us headed toward the set, and I couldn’t ignore the attack of the butterflies in my stomach as Landon walked beside me. Once we made it to set, Willow and I hung back as Landon went ahead and fully became his character as he stepped on stage. The way he transformed his body was unlike anything I’d seen. How he rounded his shoulders, how he curved his back and fiddled with his fingers. He was no longer Landon, but he was now Larry Price—the broken hermit crab who was too afraid to live.
Watching Landon perform made tears rush to my eyes. He was so good at what he did, completely in the right field of profession for his life.
When he’d mess up, though, he’d step offstage and take a breath. Each time, he’d reach into his pocket and hold something into his hand and take a few breaths with his eyes closed.
“What is that?” I asked Willow, staring at Landon with wonderment. “What is it that he holds in his hand?”
“Oh, it’s his tradition. He’s been doing it for as long as I can remember. Whenever he needs to center himself and breathe, he pulls out that chain necklace and holds it in his hand while taking a few breaths.”
“Is it some kind of special necklace?”
“Well,” she smiled up at me before going back to her phone, “I’m pretty sure it’s your heart.”
Her words stilled me.
My heart.
The heart necklace I’d had given him all those years before was what he used to calm his wild soul.
The actual heart of mine? The one that sat in my chest and had spent the past few years being completely shut off from the world? Without much warning, it slowly began to beat again.
And that afternoon, when it beat? It was beating for him.
Landon was…flexible.
Holy crap. He was flexible in ways I didn’t know people could bend.
I’d taken my fair share of yoga classes at my grandmother’s studio, but I had to admit, I wasn’t a perfectionist at it. Yet, the way Landon was able to bend like a pretzel and hold poses as if it were effortless to him blew my mind.
“Why do I get the idea that this wasn’t your first rodeo?” I joked, dripping in sweat after the class. The women of the group were all gawking at Landon, and I’d admit I couldn’t blame them.
I was gawking, too.
“My therapist had me start a few years back. She figured yoga could be a good way to release some built-up energy,” he explained, grabbing a rag and wiping away the sweat from his face.
“And it helps?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Plus, it’s something I love. I don’t get a lot of moments to slow down in my career, so this feels good. It’s nice to take a break from the hustle and bustle of my life. It’s been a while since I’d been about to take up yoga, though, so I was happy when Maria mentioned taking classes here.”
“I’m glad it works for you.” And boy, was it fun to watch.
“Since I can’t take you out to dinner, do you think I can walk you to your car?”
“I won’t pass you up on that offer.”
We gathered our things and headed out into the cold night. Each breath I took could be seen when I exhaled it into the chilled air. We began walking around the corner to my car as I tried to keep from freezing my butt off. “So, you’re doing well,” I mentioned. “With your heart and mind?”
“Yeah. I know way back then I struggled a lot with finding my footing, but I was lucky enough to have the income to get the help I really needed.”
“That’s really good, Landon. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”
“I know. It took a lot of work, and I still struggle with it, I won’t lie. But I’m in a better place than I’d ever been before. Which is why I’m feeling antsy for this movie to wrap so I can get back to helping others.”
“Helping others?”
“I want to take a year break from acting and travel the US to help kids in underprivileged areas and talk about mental health. I don’t want to just give them money, but I want to be there with them to tell my story. To hear theirs. There is such a stigma over mental health, and I remember being terrified of it in my youth. It felt like a death sentence, but it wasn’t. It took me a long time to realize it wasn’t the end of my life—it was just a piece of it. I want to help these kids learn the same.
“They haven’t been given the same opportunities as I have to better my health, though. There isn’t much time or money that goes into the world of mental health in many urban areas. Therefore, I want to immerse myself in that world to see how I can give back and help.”
I paused my steps and looked at him in amazement. “Don’t do that, Landon,” I whispered, shaking my head.
“Do what?”
“Make yourself a redeemable character in our storybook.”
“The world needs more people like you.”
“I never expected to hear you say that, after everything that went down between us.”
I chuckled. “Trust me, I didn’t expect it either. But I mean it. You’re doing a lot of good for this world. We’re lucky to have you here.”
He frowned for a split second and looked down at the ground. “There were a lot of times when I thought I wouldn’t have made it this far.”
“How lucky are we all that you did?”
He brushed his hand against the back of his neck and looked up. “I’m sorry that I hurt you.”
The words were so painfully truthful as they fell from his lips, and the way he stared at me made me want to cry into his arms to forgive him.
“We don’t have to talk about that right now.”
“But we should at some point. We should talk about what happened. I’m in a place where I’m ready and willing to try to explain to you what went down with me all those years ago. If you’re willing to hear me, I’ll show you my scars.”
I nodded slowly. “Of course.”
We’d approached my car and I began digging around in my purse to search for my keys. “Well, this was fun. Maybe we can do it next week, too,” I offered.
“I’d love that.”
I kept looking in my bag.
“Shay?”
“Yes?”
He stood there with his hands stuffed deep into his pockets and he tilted his head toward me. “How’s your heart?”
Those words knocked the air out of me. My hand fell from my purse, and I moved in closer to him. I took his hands into mine and placed them against my chest, against my heart, against my soul. “Still beating.”
He lightly squeezed my hands into his and looked down at our embrace. “I know I probably have no right to say this, and I’ll probably kick myself for putting myself out there like this, but I have to do it. If there is ever a moment where you begin to believe in second chances,” he said, his voice low and controlled. “Please give one to me.”
Landon & Shay - Part Two: (The L&S Duet Book 2) Page 24