by Johnson, Liz
She licked her lips and stared at the ceiling, playing out the scenarios that this could cause. “How long will you be gone?”
“Just twenty-four hours. But I don’t have a choice. I have to go.”
She nodded. “I know. I understand. We’ll be fine.” She wasn’t sure if she said it for his benefit or hers, but he leaned toward her, his elbows on his thighs. “We’ll be fine,” she repeated. “The commissioning isn’t until Wednesday, right?”
“Right. But I don’t feel good about leaving you here alone with Ashley.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of her.” Who’d have ever thought she’d be volunteering to care for a pregnant friend?
“I’m not just worried about her. I’m worried about you.”
Chewing on her lip, she looked away, reminding herself that he was concerned for her safety. His words didn’t go deeper than that. “I’ll be fine. We’ll stay close to the house.” And as an afterthought she added, “Maybe you could send Will or someone to check on us.”
“I can’t. The rest of the team will be with me on the training op.”
“Right.”
She was about to be completely unprotected for the first time since she’d tracked Tristan down to his office on the base. Since he’d taken her under his wing. Since he’d started shoring up the broken pieces of her heart.
“I know how to make enough noise to scare him off if he shows up.” Her smile quivered, her attempt at humor falling flat.
He shook his head, rubbing his chin with two fingers. “Don’t try to take him on, Staci.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
“And you’ll stay close to the house? You won’t go anywhere that he could catch you alone?” His eyes narrowed, leaving only slits of blue that flashed with something like concern—only infinitely more intense.
“I won’t.”
“And you’ll yell if there’s any—” Interrupting himself, he jumped up and ran to the kitchen.
Abandoning the football game, she chased after him until she caught him at the kitchen’s junk drawer, which was surprisingly organized with cubbies and dividers. After just a moment, he produced a silver whistle and held it out to her. “Keep this on you. Put it around your neck. You’re not going for subtle. You’re going for safe. If you think for a second that there’s someone following you or getting close, blow on this thing until help comes.”
She took the noisemaker, and he kept his eyes on her until she bent her head to loop the chain over her neck. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” His gaze was physically heavy, pressing her shoulders down and sending a chill along her arms. She hugged herself, wishing for the courage to either walk away or stare back just as hard. But after the kiss they’d shared the night before, she could do nothing but try to keep her stomach from dancing a jig.
Finally he whispered, “I don’t want to leave you alone, but I don’t have a choice.”
“I get it. We’ll be fine.”
He reached for her, cupping both of her shoulders with his lean fingers and adding physical pressure to the force of his gaze. “Listen to me very carefully.” Waiting until she nodded in response, he took a shallow breath. “The man behind this knows what he’s doing. That pipe bomb wasn’t a joke and neither was that van that tried to run you over. If our guess is right that he plans to sabotage the Rockefeller, then he has too much at stake—too many eyes watching—to let you ruin this for him.”
She tamped down the fear that bubbled through her chest and up her throat. This wasn’t new information, but the intensity in his tone left her trembling.
“He will come after you. Don’t let him find you alone and unprepared.”
THIRTEEN
Long after Tristan had left for his training op the next day, Staci sat up with a very uncomfortable Ashley.
“Can you turn the air a little higher? It’s so hot in here.”
Staci pulled her scarf a little tighter under her chin, wishing that she had a winter hat to match. Her fingers almost numb, she punched the thermostat button until the air conditioning unit kicked on again, the temperature dropping across the first floor in minutes.
From her prone position in the recliner, Ashley sighed. “Thank you.”
“Do you want some more water to drink?”
“Yes. Please.” She held up an insulated jug, the ice rattling as Staci filled it up to the top. “I’m sorry you have to put up with me.”
“I don’t mind a bit.” Strangely it was true. Every minute watching Ashley carry a baby—like Staci never could—should have been painful. But it wasn’t. A little catch in her throat or a pang in her chest were the only reminders that this was what she’d dreamed of but could never have. The rest of the time, she felt nothing but empathy and joy for her friend—and wonder at the life that was being created. “Are you comfortable? Do you need anything else?”
“Cotton candy.”
“What?”
Ashley’s eyes grew wide, her smile spreading quickly as she rubbed her hand around and around the T-shirt covering her stomach. “Doesn’t that sound fantastic? Just good old-fashioned carnival cotton candy.”
“Not really.”
“I have to have some.”
Oh, dear. Tristan still hadn’t told Ashley that they couldn’t leave the house, that they weren’t safe outside. And he hadn’t given Staci any suggestions on how to deal with pregnant cravings. It was easy enough to stay indoors when that’s where Ashley wanted to be. But what about when she wanted to leave?
She needed an alternative. Something to satisfy Ashley’s craving without having to leave the house. “What about ice cream? That’s sweet and we have a freezer full.”
Ashley wrinkled her nose. “No. Too milky.”
“All right. I think Tristan left a few of those coconut cookies you like so much.” She jogged into the kitchen, yanking open the pantry door. Her stomach dropped at the sight of the empty shelf where the package had been. “Never mind.”
“It’s okay. I want cotton candy. Pink cotton candy that will stick to my fingers and melt on my tongue.” Her voice rose as the recliner squeaked to her rocking motion. “And I know just where to get some. Let’s go to Belmont Park!”
Staci leaned her head against a cupboard door. Lord, give me the words to talk her out of this. I can’t protect her out there. I can’t even protect myself.
“It’ll be dark soon. Let’s go to Belmont another time.” The small carnival right off of Mission Beach was guaranteed to have the cotton candy Ashley craved. And hundreds of places for someone to hide, just waiting for a chance to pounce. On the other hand, it would also have hundreds of other people milling about the midway. If someone attacked her, she could yell for help, or use her whistle, and someone would be sure to hear.
But she’d promised Tristan they wouldn’t leave. She couldn’t take Ashley. Yet if she didn’t, there would be questions that she couldn’t begin to answer.
As Staci stepped back into the living room, Ashley held out her hands with a sheepish grin. “I can’t get up.”
As Ashley rocked in the chair, Staci pulled her hands until she was on her feet. “Oh!” She jumped, pressing a hand to the side of her stomach. “He’s not very happy that we’re on the move. See? Feel him kicking.”
Staci shook her head as fast and hard as she could. “No. No.” The words little more than a mouthed refusal.
But Ashley had Staci’s hand pressed against the rhythmic kicks of the little life inside before she could pull away. And then she didn’t want to withdraw, as the clear outline of a foot pressed against her palm over and over. The little blessing at once swelling and breaking her heart.
“He’s so ready to make his appearance.”
“Are you ready?” As though she even needed to ask. Ashley was born to be a mom, cool and collected and sure to make her child’s home a happy one.
“I will be, as soon as Matt gets home. He’s supposed to be back on Wednesday mor
ning.”
“Just in time for the commissioning event.”
“That’s right.” Ashley glowed. “But I’m not ready to do this without him, so he better not run late.”
Staci smiled, letting her hand fall away from the spot where the little guy’s movements had slowed to a less intense cadence. “I’m sure he’ll be here.” She had to turn away and clear her throat as her eyes glazed over with unshed tears.
What would it be like to love someone so deeply and to be so certain of his love in return? To know that they’d get to share a life and a family?
She rubbed her knuckles over her eyes, plastering a quaking smile into place. There was no call to feel sorry for herself. She had a full life, and she would continue to find ways to keep herself busy and useful. And maybe—someday—she’d meet a man not interested in having his own family.
Tristan’s face flashed across her mind’s eye, and she clamped her lids shut, fighting the wish behind that image.
He wasn’t going to be the one for her. No matter how well he kissed or how much she wanted a repeat of the night before. She’d take all the fear of being at Garrison’s whim in exchange for Tristan’s arms wrapped around her again.
But Tristan had been clear when he’d told her that he had wanted a family with Phoebe. He almost certainly still wanted the same thing.
Thinking about it wasn’t going to help her be more content where she was. And it certainly wasn’t going to help her stay alert for the dangers that lay ahead.
“Are you all right?” Ashley’s voice dropped to a whisper.
“Yes. Sorry. Just something in my eye.” Her cheeks hurt from smiling so hard, but she forced herself to look natural as she turned back toward her friend. “What do you say we find something for dinner?”
“Like cotton candy?”
“No. Not cotton candy.”
“Don’t trifle with a pregnant woman and her need for sweets. I won’t give in.” She put her hands on her hips, again with the mini linebacker stance. “Even if it means I have to go alone.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not letting you go anywhere alone. But don’t you think it’ll be kind of cold after the sunset right off the water?”
Ashley grabbed the collar of her T-shirt, fanning her face and letting out sigh. “I’m counting on it.”
All of her arguments for staying at the house were failing. But she couldn’t let Ashley go alone. What if she went into labor? Or she fell down? Or was in a car accident? Tristan—and even Matt—were trusting her to keep Ashley safe until Matt’s return.
“I don’t want you to go alone.”
“Good. Get the keys. Let’s go. Right after I use the restroom.” Ashley disappeared down the hallway.
Maybe Tristan would have an idea for stopping her. Grabbing her phone, Staci called his number, praying he’d be able to pick it up. With every ring, she glanced over her shoulder, checking for Ashley’s return. When it went to voice mail, she whispered, “It’s Staci. Ashley wants to go to Belmont Park for cotton candy, and she won’t take no for an answer. I just don’t know what else to do but go with her. I’ll be careful, and we’ll stay in well-lit, public areas. But…I just wanted you to know that I tried to talk her out of it. And I… Thanks for the whistle.” She gripped it through her shirt and took a steadying breath. They’d be okay.
She tilted her head back and stared at the white ceiling, sending up a silent prayer for protection.
“Ready?”
As she’d ever be.
*
After the initial briefing on the night’s op, Tristan packed his gear away into his trunk but stopped to check his cell phone before locking it inside. He rarely did that anymore. Hadn’t since Phoebe, really. But maybe he’d received a return call from Victor Salano, his friend with the FBI.
Right. That’s who he was hoping to hear from.
He had two messages, the first one started as the rest of his platoon filed past him, purposefully bumping into him. He shot Willie G. a scowl, and the kid grabbed his back and mimed walking with a hunch.
Tristan snorted. He wasn’t a grandpa yet, just because he’d been around for a while. He had a few good years left with the teams, and he fully intended to stick around to keep Willie G. in line for a long time.
The message did turn out to be from his FBI contact. “Sawyer, this is Salano. It’s good to hear from you. Listen, we intercepted some communications that line up with your suspicions about later this week. Can’t talk about it over an unsecure line, but we need to touch base. Something is going to go down, and right now you’re our man on the front lines. Call me as soon as you can.”
His blood pounded through his veins, his heart picking up speed. Staci had been right. The map. The translation. The attempts on her life. All of it was about the USS Nelson Rockefeller. The ship named for a vice president was the tangos’ first mark.
He checked his watch. Just three minutes until wheels-up. He didn’t have time to call Salano back.
The phone switched to the second message, and suddenly Staci’s urgent whisper rang in his ear. She sounded desperate, but he could do nothing from the base. Nothing from the air where he would be in a minute. He jabbed the button to return her call, squeezing his fist tighter with every ring. No answer.
“L.T., you coming?” He waved off Zig.
The chopper blades were already spinning as her outgoing message played.
He had exactly ninety seconds to tell her everything running through his mind, convey every shooting pain through his chest. But he wouldn’t have been able to express that if he’d had ninety hours. In the end he took a deep breath and said between clenched teeth. “Staci, be careful. I need you to be there when I get back.”
He hung up, throwing his phone into the locker and slamming it closed. The last one onto the chopper, he jumped in just as it lifted off the ground.
Staci’s green eyes flashed across his mind as he stared out over the city lights. Somewhere out there was the woman he cared for. And a man intent on silencing her forever.
And he could do nothing about it.
*
Staci grinned as Ashley pinched the pink cotton candy from the stick and opened her mouth wide to push it in. It disappeared as her smile erupted, her eyes rolling back in delight. “This is just what I wanted.” She had to raise her voice to be heard over the clacking of the white, wooden roller coaster and the screams of the children lifting their hands as the bottom fell away, sending them flying down the track.
Red and yellow lights from the carousel danced off Ashley’s blond bob as she shook her hair out of her face against the breeze from the ocean, just steps away. She held out her stick, a silent offering of the sugary treat.
“No, thanks.” Maybe it was the combination of the smell of hot dogs, popcorn and ocean that made her stomach churn. More likely it was the knowledge that she and Ashley were completely unprotected amid the crowd at Belmont Park.
“Let’s walk for a bit.” Ashley savored another fluffy bite, a low hum from her throat confessing her satisfaction. “Not far. Maybe just down to the end of the walkway and back.”
That was a good hundred yards or more, but they were already out. Ashley wouldn’t give in to going home yet. So Staci nodded as they strolled through the crowd, weaving between families exiting rides, kids pointing and laughing at the fun they’d had. As they walked past the open wall of a bumper car ride, lights flashing and reflecting off the glittering cars, they paused. Little ones screamed with joy, steered themselves into collisions with other cars and screamed again. Moms lined the railing, the lights from their cameras adding to the vibrant night.
Ashley pulled off another piece of cotton candy, popping it into her mouth and licking her fingers in the same motion, but the smile that had accompanied every other bite didn’t appear.
Staci watched her closely for several long seconds. “Is anything wrong? Are you feeling okay?”
“Fine. I was just thinking about Phoebe.
”
She sighed. What was she supposed to say?
“I guess my brother didn’t tell you about her, either.”
Staci squinted toward the kids on the ride, the words still elusive. So she spoke softly. “He’s mentioned her.”
Amazement filled Ashley’s face as her cheeks went red and her eyebrows rose. “He has? He told you they were engaged?”
“Yes.”
“And that she died?”
“Uh-huh.”
Ashley let out a sad laugh, not bitter, just pained. “I think you’re the first person he’s ever talked with about her.”
She’d gotten that feeling, too. When she’d stood with her arms around him, trying for all the world to comfort him like he had her. But she’d come up short. Again unable to give him what he wanted—even if he didn’t know what it was he craved. Talk of Tristan and Phoebe left her stomach aching and her eyes burning.
She didn’t want to ask questions or pry into his life, yet when else would she have a chance to hear the story from another perspective, to see how the loss had really affected him? The part of her that liked him more than any guy she’d ever known, the part that had been falling head over heels for him since he’d burst into her life, screamed for her to drop the topic, to keep her distance from any new knowledge of him that might make her fall for him even further. The part of her that longed to know him more didn’t listen.
“What was he like back then? Was he going to stay a SEAL after they were married?”
“I think at some point he’d have retired. Not right away, but eventually. Probably when they were ready to have kids. But I think he thought of their engagement as the beginning of the end of his career on the teams.”
Staci’s heart squeezed, its beats coming erratically, as though she could feel his pain, know the loss that he’d had. It physically hurt to think about his story.
“Afterward, when he came home for the funeral, I thought he’d quit the teams right then and there. He still had a few years to go, but he was going crazy with pain.” Ashley bit off another piece of her treat. “But I’m glad he didn’t. He threw himself into his work, and found some sort of healing rescuing others.”