His eyes shifted back and forth as he looked into my gaze. The same deep brown eyes stared back at me, the same ones I’d been staring at all my life. They looked exactly the same whether he was angry or calm. “If you want her, then make it uncomplicated.”
* * *
I sat on the couch in my living room with a cold beer in front of me. I still wore my suit, but I undid my tie the second I walked inside. It was one of those nights when I needed something more than a beer, something stronger to accompany my misery. So I grabbed a cigar and smoked it right in the living room even though it would smell for a few days.
I didn’t give a damn.
I debated telling Titan everything that happened. She would be sympathetic and give me the kind of affection to chase away the pain. But if I’d told her the truth, she would have told me not to take the deal.
Knowing her, she would rather take the fall than let me suffer.
She would march down to my father’s office and give him a piece of her mind.
So it was best if I didn’t say anything.
She’d feel terrible if she knew what I sacrificed for her.
She might find out some other way, but by then, enough time would have passed that I would be over it. And if she knew my father had pictures of us together, she would get paranoid. She might stop sleeping with me altogether.
I’d stay quiet.
Normally, I’d already be at her place with my clothes on her bedroom floor. My sorrow and desire would be buried between her legs at this very moment. We’d be completely connected, mind, body, and soul. She’d tell me she loved me just before she came, and I’d say it back while edging myself.
But I wasn’t in the mood to do anything tonight other than smoke my cigar.
I wished my mother were still alive. Life would be so much different. My father would still be happy, Brett would have had the same childhood I did, and I wouldn’t have one of the biggest suits in the world as my enemy. My mother was the glue that kept us all together. But now that she was no longer around, we moved further apart from each other.
She’d be disappointed in all of us.
Especially me.
My phone sat on the coffee table and lit up with a message from Titan. Miss you.
I stared at the message and took another puff of my cigar. The words went straight down to my crotch, making me hard. When I read the words, I could hear her sexy voice. I could hear the slight desperation in the way she spoke.
I wanted to avoid her because I wouldn’t be able to fake a different mood. I was livid with my father, and nothing would change that, not even good sex. But I wanted to get lost in her embrace, to make love and forget all the bullshit surrounding our lives. Only Titan could sheathe my anger, could make me smile in the midst of grief.
I wasn’t just angry that I’d lost Megaland.
I was devastated my own father would blackmail me like that.
My own flesh and blood.
Why hadn’t my mother lived and my father died?
Did it make me evil for even thinking that?
Her message went unanswered for thirty minutes. I wanted to say something back, but I was too overwhelmed with my self-destructive thoughts to do anything but smoke. I smoked my cigar until I reached the butt then dropped it into the ashtray.
I wrote back. I always miss you.
Good. Because I just stepped inside the lobby of your building.
She wanted me badly. She didn’t wait for me to come to her. I loved that about her. If she wanted something, she made it happen.
She didn’t waste time.
The elevator beeped before the doors opened. She stepped inside with her beautiful legs in stilettos. She wore a long black jacket to protect her from the cold. She stepped inside, her long brown hair straight and shiny. The jacket was instantly removed, and she made herself at home.
I walked toward her and dropped my jacket as I went.
The second she looked at me, her face hardened as she recognized the unease in my expression. She knew me well enough to understand if I was being haunted by demons she couldn’t see. Her hand moved to my chest, and she parted her lips to speak.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” My hand slid into her hair as I prepared to kiss her. “But I want you to make me forget about it.” My mouth moved to hers and we combined our lips. I felt her bottom lip and sucked it gently before I gave her my tongue. My hand tugged on her hair gently, and I deepened our kiss, immediately finding comfort in our heated touch.
She undressed me with confident fingers, peeling my clothes away until I was naked. Her fingers explored the hard lines of my body, feeling my impeccable chest and tight abs. She loved my shoulders the best, so she visited those frequently.
I loved the dresses she wore because they were so easy to remove. Once the zipper was down, it fell away. Her bra and panties came next, and then this gorgeous woman was in just heels.
I kept the shoes on.
I lifted her into the air and carried her into my bedroom. I wanted her on her back, knees spread, and my entire cock buried inside her. I wanted it deep and slow, coming in her over and over again.
I wanted to come until she couldn’t take any more.
I got her on the mattress, her head placed perfectly on a pillow, and then I slid inside her with one heavy thrust.
Her mouth fell open, and she gripped my biceps as she felt my large length press inside her.
My arms pinned her knees back, and I folded her underneath me. I pressed her into the mattress, made her sink deep into the bed, and then I moved. I moved hard and fast, getting up to speed right from the beginning. My cock enjoyed her wet tightness, and I quickly fell into the passion that blocked out the rest of the world.
I wanted to do this every night.
I wanted to fuck her the second I came home from work every day.
My cock only wanted this perfect pussy.
“Baby…” A deep moan erupted from the back of my throat. When I slid through her perfection, I didn’t care about the nightmares that lived outside the four walls of my penthouse. The connection between us was powerful enough to make me forget my hardships and heartbreaks. The loss of my company seemed insignificant when I had something so much better.
I just wished she were truly mine.
Her nipples hardened, and she began to hold her breath, preparing for the wonderful explosion between her legs. “I love you.” She fisted my short hair and gripped my shoulder, another wave of moisture erupting between her legs. She said those words to me more often now than she did before.
I’d fallen in love with her more with every passing day, so it didn’t surprise me. Hearing her confession of love always made me feel more like a man. It comforted me because I knew we would be okay. Our love was strong enough to protect us. It would bring us together eventually. I wasn’t scared about her ending up with Thorn.
I knew she’d end up with me.
Eventually. “I love you too, baby.”
8
Titan
Thorn and I got dinner together at a new restaurant that had just opened. The chef was from France, and he cooked up the most exquisite delicacies. It was French, infused with American favorites.
We sat across from each other and shared a bottle of wine. I’d cut down my whiskey intake to a single glass a day. I replaced my old habit with water, iced tea, and wine. My palate was different now that my taste buds weren’t soaked in whiskey. It was slightly refreshing, although I missed drinking the way I used to.
“What’s new with you?” Thorn wore black slacks and a black collared shirt, the top button undone. His tanned skin was visible, along with the prominent cords in his neck. He ran through Central Park in the afternoons, and that’s where he got his skin exposure. The room was full of couples and beautiful women at the bar, but as Thorn vowed, he didn’t pay attention to anyone else but me.
It was nice.
I would never be the recipient of romantic affectio
n, but he certainly made me feel loved. And he would make me feel like a treasured wife.
The second I thought of our wedding, I thought of Hunt.
It was impossible not to.
The second I became Thorn’s wife, I knew our relationship would be over. That might be why I’d become more passionate with him recently, telling him I loved him because I knew I wouldn’t always have the opportunity. One day, he would have a new woman on his arm as we passed each other at a common function. It would hurt to look at him, but at least I would know I told him how I felt when I had the chance.
Before a different woman replaced me in his bed.
Sometimes it scared me how much I loved that man when I didn’t trust him. How could I be so infatuated with someone when I was so uneasy? It didn’t make sense to me. The behavior was out of character for me.
Thorn cocked his head to the side. “Titan?”
“Hmm?” My eyes shifted back to him, and I took a drink.
“I asked what’s new with you?”
I heard him but didn’t properly digest the words. “Nothing. What about you?”
“Everything alright?” he asked, his gaze protective.
“I was just thinking about work…”
“Be more specific.”
I spoke the first thing that came to mind. “Sales at Stratosphere have been incredible. Much higher than Hunt and I anticipated. We’re pleased with the results.”
“Because the two of you are geniuses.” He tapped his temple with his forefinger. “And geniuses make great things happen.”
“You’re too kind,” I said with a smile.
“I’m not a fan of his, but I admire the way he makes money. Knows what he’s doing.”
“Very true.” I’d seen Hunt in action, seen the way his mind worked a million miles an hour. He could construct an original plan with the same tools as everyone else, but his indirect marketing approaches had much greater effect. In addition to that, the respect he’d built in the business world always helped out in our favor. He could make things happen far quicker than I because people were always anxious to work with him.
Anything Hunt touched turned to gold.
“My assistant got in contact with that wedding planner from Martha’s Vineyard. They said they have an opening in February. What do you say?”
That was eighteen months away. It seemed like a longer engagement than we’d originally agreed upon. “That’s a long engagement, but that’s okay with me.”
“No, this February,” he corrected. “So in a few months.”
I held my glass but didn’t take a drink. “Oh…I’m surprised they even have an opening.”
“They moved some stuff around, I guess,” Thorn said.
“Could we even pull a wedding off that quickly?”
“She’ll handle the decorations, food, beverages, all that stuff. I know you don’t want to do that anyway. All you need to worry about is getting your dress. So time shouldn’t be an issue.”
I should be thrilled by that news, but I was only filled with dread. I thought I would have more time to enjoy Hunt, but if I was getting married in three months, our relationship would end much sooner than I anticipated.
Thorn drank from his glass and watched my expression. “Is that alright?”
“Yeah…it’s just sudden.”
His gaze became more intrusive as he began to analyze my unhappy expression. “We don’t have to do it that soon. We can do it whenever you want. I just thought we wanted to get it done as quickly as possible.”
“I guess I was expecting a longer engagement than that.”
“How long?” he asked.
“A year or so.”
“But we don’t really need a long engagement. Neither one of us is planning this, so the extra time doesn’t seem relevant. But you’re the bride, so whatever you want.” Thorn didn’t pressure me, but I knew he was disappointed.
I could drag it out longer, but I knew it wouldn’t make much of a difference. My relationship with Hunt was doomed to die anyway. The longer I let it continue, the harder it would be to end. “February is fine.”
“You’re sure?” he asked. “Because we don’t even have to do it at Martha’s Vineyard if you want.”
“It’ll be beautiful there, especially in the winter.”
“Then I’m going to tell Angela to book it.”
“Alright.”
“Perfect. Looks like we have a date.”
“What’s the date?” I asked.
“February twelfth.”
I took a long drink, downing the entire contents of the glass before I refilled it. “The twelfth it is.”
* * *
I was doing really well until I relapsed.
I drank more in one sitting than I ever had in my life. I made my favorite drink over and over, drowning myself in the whiskey that I adored so much. Picking a wedding date screwed me up in the head.
It dragged me down into the depths.
It suffocated me.
This was what I wanted. This was the path I chose.
But it brought me so much heartache.
Even if I wanted to change my mind, I couldn’t. I’d already made a commitment to Thorn, and I couldn’t back out now. It would be a betrayal to our friendship. It would make him look like a fool to the entire world.
No, I’d never do that to him.
I’d always been a regular drinker, but I’d never lost control of my faculties. I’d never even been drunk.
I just drank a lot. Big difference.
But now I seemed to be making up for all the liquor I’d skipped. Now I was plumping my cells with the alcohol they craved. It soothed my emotions and slowly numbed me so I didn’t have to deal with reality.
It was easier to cope that way.
* * *
I wound up in the elevator of Hunt’s building, my body weaker than usual because I’d drunk too much. I didn’t consider myself drunk, but I was definitely slightly impaired. Thankfully, I had a driver, so I never had to worry about getting myself anywhere.
The doors opened to his living room, and I stepped inside.
Hunt was in the kitchen, the sound of dishes moving and the water running reaching my ears. Everything stopped when he heard me, and he emerged a moment later in just his sweatpants.
The way I was hoping he would be dressed.
A prominent V was chiseled into his waistline, extending up his hips and framing the eight-pack he displayed. The muscles of his abdomen shifted as he walked toward me. His pecs remained as a solitary wall, unflinching as he approached me.
Wordlessly, his arms moved around my waist, and he leaned in and kissed me.
I kissed him back, falling into the addiction that brought me the most joy. Whiskey used to be my drug, but it had a nasty bite if I took too much. With Hunt, I could never get enough.
His sultry kiss died away, and he leaned back to look at me. His gaze moved to my lips, but not in the intense way I was used to. It was full of suspicion, and then a moment later, disappointment. “You’ve been drinking.”
“Yeah…”
“A lot.”
My hands remained on his biceps, my fingertips digging into his muscles. He was warm, smooth, and hard all at the same time.
His look of disappointment didn’t change. He stared at me fiercely, as if he wanted to berate me but couldn’t find the right words.
“It won’t happen again…I was doing well. I just had a slipup.”
His hands squeezed my hips slightly before he removed the pressure. “Promise me, baby?”
My eyes felt lidded and heavy, and while I was tired, I was also more affectionate. I wanted his hot lips all over me. “I promise.”
That seemed to be enough for him because he kissed me on the forehead, forgiving me for my stupid mistake. “What happened?” His lips moved against my forehead as he spoke.
“I don’t want to talk about it…” If I told him I was depressed about the wedding, he would
attempt to talk me out of it. It would lead to a painful conversation I couldn’t have again. It would just give him hope that there would be a different outcome for us. I didn’t want to torture him or myself.
His hand moved to my cheek, and he lifted my gaze, forcing me to look at him. “Tell me.”
I looked into his powerful eyes and suddenly felt helpless. When it came to this masculine man, with his corded forearms, his chiseled jaw, and striking resemblance to danger, I wanted to drop all my armor and expose myself to him entirely—even if he hurt me. “Thorn and I set a date, and it’s a lot sooner than I thought it would be…”
He didn’t react. “When?”
“February twelfth.”
His hand remained on my cheek, and he looked at me with the same expression. He must have thought I was drunk because he didn’t try to make an argument like he normally would. All he did was listen.
“I’m not ready to let you go… I’m ridiculously in love with you.” Damn, maybe I was drunk. I blurted out everything like a damn idiot. I’d said I loved him before in the heat of the moment, and that was pretty much the same thing as being drunk. “I don’t want to see you with someone else… I get so jealous. I don’t want to lose what we have because it’s so damn good…but I have to let you go.”
“No, you don’t,” he whispered.
“Yes, I do…”
“Well, I’ll never let you go.” He lifted me into his arms and carried me into the bedroom. Clothes came off, and our naked bodies wrapped around each other. He was inside me instantly, my back to the mattress as I sank toward the earth. My ankles locked around his waist and we moved hard together, getting as much of each other as we could. We screwed like this was the last night we would ever be together.
“Please don’t.”
* * *
When I woke up the next morning, I had a massive migraine.
Boss Alpha: Boss #5 Page 10