by Nia Arthurs
This little spiel felt familiar to me and I realized, with a gasp, that I’d heard these warnings when I was with Deacon. They’d rung in my head while his hot lips branded my shoulder, my neck and… other places. They’d tried to get my attention over the moans and the writhing.
They’d screamed at me.
I’d ignored it.
Because I’d wanted him more than I wanted to be the ‘good’ girl.
It was a revelation about myself that I didn’t want to face. My beliefs had always been important to me and my behavior was an extension of the values my father planted in my head as a child.
So who had I become?
Or had I always been this person?
I stood and paced to the window. The colors outside stole my breath. The sky was a magical blend of black and blue, while a blush of pink inched ahead.
Dawn was approaching.
I wanted to dart outside, scream at the sky and forget this night ever happened. Fear of running into Humphries and Deacon kept me imprisoned. The view from the window would have to work for now.
I wrestled with the locks and shouldered the latch until the window burst free. A gentle breeze filled the room. Light crept in, chasing the darkness. I took a long, cleansing breath. Enjoying the scent of a new day. A new beginning.
In a few hours, I’d hop on a boat and leave this island forever. My problematic feelings for Deacon and the decisions I’d made here would be lost at sea.
Freedom.
I could almost taste it.
Suddenly, my phone rang.
Startled, I jumped and whirled around. The display screen lit up beneath the comforter I’d left tangled on the bed.
My muscles tightened.
It was too early for that call to mean something good.
I bounded over and unwound the blankets until the phone plopped to the mattress. Scooping it up, I glanced at the screen.
Mom’s name appeared.
I picked up and spoke anxiously. “Mom?”
“It’s me, Angel.”
Tears immediately flooded my eyes. “Dad.”
“I heard you’re in San Pedro. How’s,” he paused to cough, “how is it?”
“It’s beautiful.”
“I can imagine. I remember going on family trips and eating ice cream on the beach. My most precious memories happened there.”
“When you get better, I’ll take you for ice cream again.”
“Why don’t we forget about me getting better and just go anyway?”
“You’re joking, right?”
“Angel,” he sighed, “I think we should stop here.”
“Don’t say that, Dad. We haven’t tried everything yet. ”
“Honey, please. I don’t want the chemo.”
“Are you saying that because you really don’t want to or because you’re trying not to be a burden?”
He chose his words carefully. “I want you to enjoy your life like other folks your age.”
“Other folks my age don’t have a father as a awesome as you.”
“Wouldn’t you like to rest, Angel?”
“I get plenty of rest.”
“When? You work all day at the school, tutor in the evenings, and pick up shifts at the diner on weekends. Plus you have to find time to check papers and make posters on top of helping your mother take care of me. When do you rest?” He coughed. “Do you know, your mother almost fell over when she heard you were taking time off to go on this trip?”
“Mom has a habit of over-reacting.”
“Honey, I’d like us to be realistic. We can’t afford the treatments. We can’t even afford this hospital stay.”
“We’re making it work. And even if we don’t, aren’t you the one who’s always saying that God will provide?”
“Of course He does. I also believe we should be humble when the answer is ‘no’.”
“How do you know that? Huh? Are you God? How do you know it’s time to give up?”
“I’ve already spoken to your mother but she’s not budging. When you come back, I need your help to convince her.” He added in a tortured voice, “Let me come home, Angel. Let me die in my own bed.”
“Stop it.”
“I don’t want to leave the most precious people in my life with so much debt and so much pain.”
The snot plugging my nose and running down to my lip made it hard to breathe. “Dad…”
“Do it for me, Angel, okay?”
“This isn’t something we can discuss over the phone.” I wiped the tears with the back of my hand. “I’m catching the first boat back to Belize City. We’ll talk when I get there.”
His voice was resigned. “Okay, honey. I’ll see you then.”
I dashed around the room and threw my belongings into my bag. After making the bed, I checked the water taxi schedules to find the earliest opening.
After I’d selected a seat, I opened the door and stepped into the hallway.
The house was quiet.
My eyes gravitated to Deacon and Reid’s room.
I turned my head away and then whipped it back. Avoiding him wasn’t an option. I needed Deacon to take me back to San Pedro.
We were two mature, consenting adults.
It didn’t have to be awkward, right?
Who was I kidding?
It would be so awkward.
I turned away and bit down on my bottom lip. “Come on, Angel. Dad’s more important than your pride.” Squaring my shoulders, I prepared to knock on the door.
“Looking for me?” a voice said.
I spun and saw Deacon standing at the mouth of the hallway. He looked deliciously rumpled in a simple blue pajama shirt and boxers. My cheeks flushed and I darted my gaze away from his strong legs, willing myself not to remember how hard and firm they’d been beneath my hands.
“Um,” I cleared my throat and lifted my chin, “I need to go home now. Where’s Humphries?”
“I don’t know.”
I gaped. “You don’t know?”
“That’s right.”
I stalked forward. An image of Deacon knocking Humphries down the way he’d done to Peter flashed in my brain.
“Did you do something to him last night?”
“No.” Deacon chuckled. “Should I have?”
His dark green eyes lit up and so did the heat in my belly.
I glanced away. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“He couldn’t have gotten far. We are on an island, after all.” Deacon turned on his heels. “Come. I want to show you something.”
“I’m kind of in a rush…”
“It won’t take long.”
With a sigh, I followed him into the hall. My eyes slid over Deacon’s broad shoulders. He wasn’t acting weird about last night. I should be thankful. It was a mistake.
So… why did I feel disappointed?
He strode to an office nook and slid a paper off the desk. After handing it over to me with a proud smirk, he folded his arms over his chest.
“What is it?”
“Read it and you’ll see.”
Confused, I skimmed the contents. Familiar words started jumping out at me.
‘stay on the island’
‘caretaker’
‘three months’
I started choking when I saw the number of zeroes next to the salary tag. “Are you serious?”
An eyebrow jumped. “What do you say?”
“Anything can be bought.” Deacon’s words from last night echoed in the sunrise.
My fingers dug into the contract.
This unfairly handsome son of a gun was trying to buy me.
18
Deacon
The last thing I’d expected Angel to do was get angry, so I was unprepared when she hoisted the contract I’d painstakingly typed up early this morning and yelled, “What the heck is this?”
“Is there something you’d like to change? I’m open to negotiations.”
Her jaw dropped, but sh
e said nothing.
I gestured to the document, straining to keep the eagerness from my voice. “If you want more money—”
“More money? Why would I need more money? You’re offering enough to buy a small house.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
She scoffed. “You really don’t know?”
“If I did, I wouldn’t be asking that question, would I?”
She scowled. “Is this because of what happened last night?”
“What?”
“You’re a nice-looking guy, all alone on this island with your infant son and it’s too much trouble to sail to San Pedro whenever you need that itch scratched so you’re hiring a live-in sex toy?”
Her accusations were so outrageous, I barked out a laugh.
Wrong move.
I once thought it impossible, but I saw the smoke escape Angel’s ears as if she were part dragon. “Do you think this is funny?”
“I’m not…” I covered my quivering lips with a fist, “I’m just confused. What part of this contract gave you the impression I needed to pay for female company or that I was interested in paying for yours? If I remember correctly, you were willing to sleep with me for free.”
Angel’s face tightened.
I frowned, realizing I may have been too harsh. “I didn’t mean to offend you. Don’t misunderstand.”
“No, I get it. You don’t need to explain anything else.”
I did so anyway. “Reid needs a proper caretaker. My business sometimes takes me away and I would prefer if he would remain at home instead of with Rasheed at the shop.”
“Then find another babysitter, one who doesn’t live in Belize City.”
“It has to be you.”
“You barely know me.”
“You saved my son’s life, putting your own at risk. Where can I find someone willing to die for Reid?”
“So this is the value of my life then?”
She was being intentionally obstinate. “That’s not what I said. There are other qualifications. Like the fact that you’re a teacher,” I counted on my fingers, “which means you have experience with young, energetic children. Also… your father—”
She stiffened. “Do. Not. Bring my father into this.”
“I calculated the salary thinking of the cost of his treatment, transportation and medicine. I’m willing to offer more if the bill is higher than what I’ve presented. We can help each other.”
“Deacon, this is you reaching for an excuse to unload a lot of cash on me. Don’t pretend a few months of babysitting and some tutoring is worth this.”
“You’re worth it. And… if it can help your father, then that’s even better.”
“Why do you care?”
“I told you,” I insisted, “this is a mutually beneficial transaction. You get the money for your father’s chemotherapy and I get peace of mind that someone reliable is taking care of my son.”
“If babysitters made this much cash, we’d all do it.” She shook the contract, dark eyes flashing. Her pointed chin lifted in challenge. “If I told you that I don’t want to sleep with you and I have no intentions of repeating what happened last night, would you still want me to stay? Would I be so special?”
My gaze drifted to the lips that had visited me in my dreams when I’d nodded off in the early hours of the morning.
Not being able to taste them again…
“See?” She shook her head. “You can’t even answer me.”
“Believe what you wish. I didn’t force you to do anything last night and I won’t in the future. You have my word on that.”
“This is too crazy.”
“Angel,” I stepped closer, sensing she needed a push. “Don’t let your pride cloud your judgment. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Think of your father—”
“My father would rather die than let me sell my body to pay for his chemotherapy.”
Annoyance darkened my voice. “I already told you. I’m not doing this for sex.”
“You’ll get that for free anyway, right? Plenty of options available. I was just one in a long line.”
“Angel…”
She slapped the contract facedown on the desk and glared at me. “Please take me to the mainland. I need to go home.”
“I’ve already texted Miguel,” I said with a sigh. “He’s getting the boat ready.”
“Thank you.” She turned and rigidly walked down the stairs.
I watched until she was out of sight and then rubbed my forehead. My chest tightened from frustration.
Where did it all fall apart?
I was so certain that inviting Angel to live with us for the summer was the right choice.
She had bills to pay.
I had money and a son that needed care.
A noise brought my attention to the baby monitor resting on the edge of my desk. The feed revealed Reid. He was standing in his crib and calling for me.
I strode to the room and greeted him with a tired smile. “Good morning, Reid.”
“Dada!” Green eyes bright, he waved at me.
I understood the silent instruction and picked him up, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He patted my head and then wiggled to be put down. I obliged and followed him as his tiny feet pattered to the kitchen.
Reid’s rumpled hair and wagging diaper-bum would have been enough to lift my mood, but I was unable to match his excitement.
“Come on, kiddo.” I swept him into my arms. “Let’s change your diaper and then we’ll have some breakfast. What do you think about pancakes?”
Reid remained still for his change but, as soon as I was done, he ran to his toy box.
“Great idea,” I said. “You play while I get this done.”
Wearily, I moved to the fridge and pulled out the milk and butter. I was on the way to the cupboard for flour when footsteps thumped up the stairs.
Hopeful, I turned and waited.
Angel’s head crested the staircase. Two more steps and she was on the landing.
I watched her, my heart creeping to my throat.
“I came back to say goodbye to Reid,” she grumbled without looking at me.
“Oh.” Disappointment seeped out of the word.
I was helpless to hide it.
Dropping her bag on the floor, Angel knelt in front of Reid and his toy box. He offered her his favorite stuffed dinosaur.
“Play?” he offered with a tilt of his head.
“I can’t stay for long.” She accepted it from him. “But thank you.”
Reid smiled sweetly and reached into the toy box again, already moving on to the next thing.
I watched Angel with my son. “You don’t have to go.”
“Humphries is downstairs.” She pretended to make conversation. “He said he spent the night at Miguel’s place. In case you care.”
“Play?” Reid handed Angel another toy.
“Thank you, baby.” She gave him a smile.
“Did you find Miguel?”
“Yes. He’s waiting for me downstairs.”
Reid placed another plush toy at her feet.
“I have to go,” Angel said to him, her voice quiet and sweet. “It was nice meeting you, Reid. Try to stay away from golf-carts.”
He laughed and ran away from her, hiding behind my legs.
At least it forced Angel to look at me.
“If you go home and change your mind, the offer still stands.”
She bobbed her head.
“Come on, Reid.” I picked up my son. “Let’s take Angel to the pier.”
“I’m okay.”
I looked straight into her eyes. “If this is the last time I’ll see you, I at least want to walk you out.”
She turned. “Suit yourself.”
We strode down the stairs side-by-side. I held the front door open for her and moved into the sunshine.
“Hot,” Reid said.
Angel chuckled and, despite the tension, I got the sense that this wasn’t the
end for us.
That made watching her leave easier to bear.
I walked her all the way to the pier where Miguel was unwinding the rope from the post. Humphries was already seated.
He cupped his hands and waved to Angel. “We’re ready!”
“Boat, Dada!” Reid pointed.
I bounced him. “Yes.”
Angel flitted a look at me, her gaze softer than it had been when she stormed out. “Be safe.”
“You too.”
She strode to the end of the pier, kicking up sand beneath her flip-flops. Humphries rose and offered his hand to help her into the boat. Angel shrugged him off and got in by herself.
I smiled proudly.
That’s my Angel.
Miguel nodded at me and positioned himself in front of the wheel. I watched the boat take off and would have stayed there until it became a blip in the blue horizon if not for my son who had gotten enough and started bucking and rolling in my arms.
“Play. Play.”
“Alright, Reid.” I tore myself away from the shore and carried Reid back to our big, empty house.
19
Angel
The wind whipped my hair around, stinging my cheeks. I grabbed a clip and put the strands up into a ponytail while squinting against the harsh sunlight.
Our boat churned forward, splicing through the Caribbean Sea and leaving a frothy mixture in its wake. Like magic, the water boasted dual shades. Up close, a turquoise blue. Farther out, an aqua green much lighter than Reid’s eyes.
A far cry from Deacon’s.
Cloth rustled. I felt a presence edging toward me. I turned my head and saw Humphries sliding across the bench.
“Hey,” he said, sitting a healthy distance away.
“Hi.”
“Are you… still angry with me?”
“No. I don’t care anymore.”
“But I do.” He licked his lips and straightened. “Angel, I want to officially apologize.”
“Save it, Humphries.”
“No, I need to do this.” He sighed. “You’re right. It wasn’t cool of me to set things up and lie to everyone just so I could get you alone. I like you. So much. But that’s not an excuse and I don’t want you to think that’s the kind of guy I am.”