by Shuler, Tara
“Don’t you think I deserve to know if it has to do with me?”
“What does it matter, Alice? It will not come to pass. I have already made sure of that. You do not need to know.”
“Alright, fine. But why did I see you in my vision? And for that matter, was it even real? I’ve never had visions like that, before. It was so real.”
“I cannot answer that. My father is the only one I have ever known who had visions, aside from a few my grandfather had, but they were rare. I do now know if it was real, nor could I anticipate why it was you saw me.”
“I’m really worried, Alexi. I feel this darkness... no… this evil lurking. It’s coming; I can feel it. And all I saw was you.”
Alexi’s head turned to look out the car window.
“I do not know what it means.”
“I think you do,” I challenged him.
“Do not press the issue further.”
It was then I became certain the darkness that was coming had something to do with Alexi. I couldn’t be sure what any of it meant, but I knew it was looming. It could show itself at any moment, and I wasn’t prepared.
Alexi knew more than he was telling me. Of that much I was sure. However, it was clear he didn’t want to talk about it, and I couldn’t think of any way to get him to.
It was a long, quiet ride to Dmitri’s compound. Alexi’s refusal to talk to me was causing a rift between us, and I felt powerless to heal the wound. If he would not talk to me, there was little I could do about it.
At long last, we arrived. Dmitri’s guards ushered us quickly into Dmitri’s office, and once again I found myself sitting across the desk from him.
“Thank you for coming,” Dmitri said. “Alexi, I cannot express how sorry I am for everything that has transpired. I assure you that I never meant for…”
“Enough!” Alexi demanded, throwing his hand up to stop Dmitri. “I do not wish to hear your excuses or apologies. They mean nothing to me.”
“Yes, fair enough,” Dmitri agreed. “Well, then, let’s get this over with. My mind is open to you. Do as you must.”
“I can get a clearer reading if I touch you,” Alexi said.
“Yes, of course,” Dmitri submitted.
Dmitri reached his hand across the desk, and Alexi leaned forward to take it. Dmitri winced, but I could not tell if it was because of physical discomfort or the knowledge that the man whose father and grandfather he was responsible for killing would be reading his every thought.
Alexi’s head tilted to the left and twisted backward somewhat, as though he were somehow listening closely to something that was nearly inaudible. I could tell he was gripping Dmitri’s hand more tightly, and he placed his other hand over the top and pulled it closer to him. Dmitri’s face contorted into one of intense discomfort, but he did not try to pull away. After a few tension-filled moments, Alexi released Dmitri’s hand, and both of them slumped back into their chairs in exhaustion.
“I understand,” Alexi acknowledged.
“Then you see why I have done what I have done, and how deeply I regret everything that has happened,” Dmitri muttered.
“I do,” Alexi admitted. “But it does not change things, nor can it bring them back.”
“Believe me, I know. If there was anything I could do to change what I’ve done, I would, Alexi.”
“I see that, now. And because you meant so much to my father, I will help you. But you must agree to do things my way.”
“Of course,” Dmitri said. “Whatever you ask of me, I will do. Do you know where the talisman is located?”
“I do. But it must stay there, for the moment.”
“But you just agreed to help me!” Dmitri argued.
“And I will do so, but, as I said, it must be done my way.”
“I don’t understand, Alexi. How can I control the wraiths without the talisman?”
“You will understand in time. You have my word that I will help you. However, as I said, you must accept my help on my terms. Please, I ask you to trust me.”
Dmitri looked at me, as though he were asking my opinion.
“You can trust him, Dmitri,” I assured him. “If he says he’ll do something, he will.”
Looking back toward Alexi, he said, “Then I will trust you.”
“I will be in touch with you as quickly as I can,” Alexi to him. “Until then, try to stay out of trouble, and contact us if your situation changes.”
“I certainly will, Alexi. And thank you.”
Alexi nodded, and he stood to leave. I stood to follow him.
“Don’t worry, Dmitri. If Alexi says it will be alright, it will be.”
Dmitri smiled faintly in quiet gratitude.
I followed Alexi back to the car, and we headed home. The drive was silent, and tension hung in the air. I wanted to talk to Alexi, to ask him what was happening, but I knew he would refuse to speak of it. For the first time, Alexi was hiding something from me.
Chapter Thirteen – Maturity
When we arrived back at the compound, Alexi asked me to accompany him to his office. I followed him there, and I took a seat in front of his desk. Instead of sitting across from me, he sat in the chair beside me.
“I need to ask something of you,” Alexi said, his voice grim.
“Anything,” I whispered.
“Do not say that until you hear what it is.”
“Alright. Alexi, what is it? You have me really worried.”
“Do you remember that I spoke of my father’s vision in which we were married, and you saved my life?”
“Yes, of course I remember.”
“The time has come. You must make a decision, and it must be soon.”
“What? You mean, I have to marry you right now?”
“You do not have to, nor will I even attempt to force you. This must be your decision, and yours alone. I cannot and will not influence it, and you must not let anyone else do so.”
“Why does it have to be now?” I demanded to know.
“I believe you know why.”
I thought back to the conversation he and I had about our marriage, and I remembered him saying his father wanted to make sure we would marry, because I would save his life.
“But, I can save your life even if we aren’t married, right?”
“I do not believe that is possible in this circumstance.”
“Why not? Alexi, I just don’t understand. I can use my Grace just as easily if we’re not married, right?”
“The bond between married vampires is stronger than you understand. Using your ability to heal me would not weaken you as much if we were married. If we do not marry, I cannot allow you to risk yourself for me.”
“I wouldn’t be risking myself. I’ve saved both you and Liam, and I’m fine.”
“Remember, you weaken yourself more each time you use it. I am afraid that next time you use it, you could die.”
“So you’re saying if we aren’t married, you wouldn’t even allow me to try?”
“That is precisely what I am saying. I believe the bond of marriage would allow you to heal me without any danger to you. If you do not marry me, I will not allow you to try.”
“Alexi, I don’t know if I’m ready for this. I have so much to think about, so much to work out in my head.”
“You have as much time as you need. As I said, I will not force you.”
“When is… I mean… how long until…”
“I cannot be certain, but I believe it will occur when I assist Dmitri with the wraiths.”
I gasped aloud, unable to contain the intense emotion that suddenly flooded by body. I felt a lump rising in my throat, and I could barely speak.
“That soon?” I whispered.
“I am afraid so. It could be within the week.”
I felt like I might vomit. My knees were weak and shaky, and I was glad to be sitting down. I thought I might faint.
“I don’t know what to do. I need time to think.”
&nb
sp; “Of course. I understand.”
“I’m sorry, Alexi. I wish I could just agree to this, but I…”
Alexi put his hand up to stop me, and he said, “I understand. And I want you to make this decision based on your heart, not based on your concern for my life. I do not wish to force you into a marriage that will make you unhappy.”
“Alexi, you know I can’t do that. If it means saving your life, I don’t care what…”
“Stop,” he pleaded. “I am serious about this, Alice. I want you to marry me because you decide you love me, not because you wish to save my life. I would rather die than doom you to an unhappy life.”
“Oh, God, please don’t say that,” I begged him. “I can’t even think about you…”
I couldn’t finish the sentence. Just the thought of something happening to Alexi was enough to send me into a panic attack. I certainly couldn’t say it out loud.
“I need some time,” I said suddenly, and I stood up and fled from the room.
I needed some air. Suddenly, the air inside the house was stifling, and I could hardly breathe. I dashed through the house and into the back yard. I hadn’t been outdoors much at the compound, so I didn’t know where I was going. I wandered aimlessly for a while, and then I ran across a small wooded area with a bench at the edge. I sat down on the bench with a huff, and all at once, I burst into tears.
I wasn’t even certain why I was crying. I thought it was more than likely the stress of everything crashing in around me at once. It was too much for one soul to bear. I had just decided I needed time away from relationships, away from the stress and the pain they caused me, and now Alexi was telling me if I didn’t marry him, he might die.
He wanted me to marry him purely out of love, but how could I do that? I hadn’t really had time to clear my head. Things had been happening so quickly that I had not yet had a chance to sort out my feelings. Eventually, I was overcome with exhaustion. I lied down on the bench, and within a few moments, I had cried myself to sleep.
I found myself walking down a dark corridor. I knew it must be a dream, because I felt only partially lucid – as if things weren’t quite real, but they weren’t quite a dream, either. The walls of the corridor seemed to crush in against me, but when I reached out to touch them, my fingers went through them as if they weren’t really there.
Soon, I could see a shadowy figure at the end of the hallway. At first, all I could see was a dark figure shrouded by a thick haze, but as I walked closer, I saw those ghostly white tendrils of hair escaping the darkness of a cloak.
“Alexi!” I called to him, but he did not answer.
I increased my pace, and I could feel my heart begin to race.
“Alexi?” I called again, but I was met only with silence.
Fearful, I began to run. Something was wrong. Alexi would never refuse to answer me unless he couldn’t. As I approached him, I saw another shadowy figure standing beside him. One hand was behind Alexi, apparently keeping him from escaping. The other held a long, wooden stake.
“Alexi…” I whispered, barely able to utter a sound.
I made a lunge toward the figure holding the stake, but I was too slow. The figure thrust the stake into Alexi’s heart, and then it vanished.
“Alexi!” I shouted, reaching out to catch him as he began to collapse.
I felt his weight drop into my arms, and I lowered him gently to the ground. His blood seeped through his cloak and stained my clothing.
I grasped the stake, and I yanked with all my might. I heard a sickening slurp as the stake slipped from his flesh. I threw it aside. I knew I had only moments to act.
I placed my hands over the wound and concentrated. Alexi was motionless under my hands, but I could feel his warm blood gushing from the wound and soaking my hands. I closed my eyes and prayed, Please, God. Please let this work.
I kept concentrating, but nothing happened. I could not will my Grace to work. I was not overcome by the familiar pain, nor the haze, nor the trembling. Nothing happened.
“Alexi!” I screamed, realizing he was slipping away, and I might be unable to save him.
I gritted my teeth and pushed my hands against the wound, trying with everything in me to push life back into him. I remembered the feeling of my life force flowing through my hands and into Alexi and Liam when I had saved their lives before, and I desperately tried to do it once more. Still, nothing happened.
I felt hands close over mine, and I opened my eyes. Alexi was holding my hands gently, and his cloak had slipped away from his face. He looked up at me with nothing but pure love in his violet eyes, and a single tear slipped from his eye and spilled down his temple, disappearing into his white hair.
“It was all for you,” he whispered, and then he closed his eyes and I felt his life slip away.
“Alexi?” I asked, but he was silent.
I put my hands on his shoulders and shook him.
“Alexi! Wake up! Please!” I shouted.
Still, he was motionless. He was gone, and I could feel it. The warmth, the love I had always felt when he was around was gone, and my world felt cold and empty. It was as if everything that was good in the world was gone, and nothing else mattered.
“Alexi!” I shouted, my heart crushing under the weight of a thousand centuries of pain and anguish.
I sat up with a gasp, feeling the cool night air wrapping around me and reminding me it was only a dream. My heart still raced, and the lump in my throat swelled until I couldn’t draw a breath. I sprang to my feet and raced to the house.
I burst through the door, and I shouted, “Alexi! Alexi!”
Alexi and Kai both came running down the stairs as though they were afraid something was wrong, and I saw Liam rush from the dining hall.
“What’s wrong?” Alexi asked, concern thick in his voice.
I rushed into his arms, and I put my head against his chest. I listened carefully, and I heard his heart beating strong and fast. He was really alive.
“Yes!” I cried. “Yes, Alexi!”
“Yes, what? Darling, what is wrong?” Alexi asked, stroking my hair.
“Yes, I will marry you! I love you!” I exclaimed, choking back a flood of tears.
For a moment, the room was eerily silent. No one spoke. No one even moved.
“Are you certain?” Alexi asked, his voice threatening to break.
“I’m sure, Alexi! I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life! I love you, and I can’t bear to live without you!” I cried, and I reached up and took his face into my hands.
His cheeks were wet. He was crying.
“Please do not tell me this if you have any doubt in your heart,” Alexi begged. “I could not bear it.”
“I’m sure, Alexi. I swear to you, I’m sure. It’s only you!”
I used my thumbs to wipe the tears away from his cheeks, and I felt his breath warm on my face. His lips closed over mine, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and drew him closer. In his kiss, I found everything I’d always been missing. I had kissed other guys before, and I had even kissed him, but in that moment, I realized he was all I needed – all I wanted.
I forgot there were others in the room. I forgot how they must be feeling after hearing my revelation, and as they watched me kissing him that way. Even if I had remembered, I wouldn’t have cared. Alexi was the one. I had never been so certain of anything. Kissing him, I could feel it. His kiss was everything.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize. I’m sorry I’ve been hurting you for so long. I’m sorry I…”
He placed his fingers against my lips, and murmured, “It was all worth the wait, my love. I would do it all again a thousand times if it meant living to see this moment.”
“I love you, Alexi. More than you could possibly know. More than I ever imagined possible. I want to marry you, and I want to be yours forever.”
“I have waited so long to hear you say those words; I can hardly believe this moment
is real. I keep waiting to wake up – for something to take this away.”
“It’s real, Alexi. I’m real, and you’re real – we’re real. This is real!”
“I always hoped… dreamed… prayed… but it is so hard to believe it is finally really happening.”
“I want to get married right now. Where is Father Jacobs? Can he perform the ceremony?”
“Are you sure, darling? Are you absolutely certain?”
“I am, Alexi. I swear to you, I am certain.”
“Then let us not wait another moment. I will find Father Jacobs and ask him if he will perform a ceremony right now.”
Alexi was gone in a flash, and I realized I was standing at the bottom of the stairs in an empty room. I hadn’t even noticed the others leaving. Kai and Liam must have seen the whole scene, or at least most of it, but now they were gone.
I felt a twinge of sadness, of guilt. But I knew it wasn’t because I had any desire to be with them. My heart ached for the pain I knew they must be feeling, but it did little to mask my joy.
I couldn’t understand what had taken me so long to wake up and realize how deeply I felt for Alexi. As I looked back, I realized there were times when I’d felt it. It had just been somehow clouded by the confusion, perhaps the immaturity in my heart. So many times I’d felt electrified when I was near him, yet the feelings I had for Kai and Max had somehow shrouded what I felt for Alexi.
Now that Max was gone, and now that I’d had some time away from Kai, perhaps that shroud had been lifted. Maybe it was because I was maturing. Maybe it was because my feelings for him had become so overwhelming, I could no longer deny them.
At that moment, I didn’t care about anything but marrying Alexi. I couldn’t even think of finding Kai or Liam to explain or to apologize for things happening so abruptly. All I wanted was Alexi, and I would find a way to deal with the emotional aftermath later.
“Alice!” Alexi called from upstairs.
“Yes, Alexi,” I returned, already rushing up the stairs toward him.
“Father Jacobs said he would be happy to officiate,” he told me, taking my hand. “Are you certain you wish to do this?”
“Overwhelmingly certain,” I said confidently, smiling at him in pure joy.