by Mary Yarde
“Oh shut up,” Merton answered, but he was smiling.
“What are you going to do about Alden?” Yrre asked, turning serious again.
“Alden has chosen his side. He stands with Budic.”
There was no let up in the weather. Rand wanted to wait for a break in the rain. He said it would be madness to break camp now. The canvas of the tents would be black with mould if they did not have a chance to dry out. The others had looked at him as if he had gone mad. Was he a warrior or a wet-nurse?
Yrre rolled his eyes at Rand’s complaints and grinned at Merton.
“I swear Rand is more of a woman than Emma,” Yrre said as he headed toward his horse with a handful of tack. “Why did you let him tag along?”
“He has his uses.” Merton continued to roll up a length of rope as he spoke.
Yrre placed his saddle on a tree branch and walked over to Merton’s horse. The animal’s head was hanging low, and his breathing was shallow.
Merton handed the rope to Vernon and walked to where Yrre was. The horse raised his head a little when Merton said his name, but the dark brown, gentle eyes were now clouded over with pain. The wound on his back had festered and the smell coming from it was sickening. Yrre had experimented with different poultices, but none had been effective.
“There is only so much these animals can endure,” Yrre stated. “Caleb has served you well, but I think it is time.”
Merton nodded his head in agreement and unsheathed his knife.
“No,” Yrre said. “I’ll do it. Take my horse and go and find yourself another.”
Merton stepped in closer to his horse and ran his hand down his horse’s neck. “Goodbye old friend,” he whispered and gave Caleb one final pat. “Make it quick.”
“He will not suffer. He will have a warrior’s death,” Yrre promised.
Merton nodded his head and turned away from his horse and for a moment he quietly watched his men as they dismantled the camp.
“It will be all right, Merton,” Yrre continued to speak. “Alden may have forsaken you, but I have not.” He clasped Merton by the arm and turned him to face him. “The blood that runs through our veins may be different, but we are brothers.” Yrre took the knife out of Merton’s hands and fell to his knees, holding the knife out in front of him, the blade facing the earth, in homage. “Nothing will change that. I swear that I will not leave your side. You cannot make me. I would dishonour my son if I left you to face your enemies alone and that, I will not do. No matter what the future holds, I will be there facing it with you.”
“We all will,” Trace said, walking towards Merton also. “Why do you think we followed you to this shit hole in the first place?”
Merton had thought that after today’s revelations that he would never laugh again, but he did so now. “You do know that Brittany is considered one of the finest kingdoms in Briton, if not the world.”
“No accounting for taste is there,” Trace said with a careless shrug of his shoulders.
“Get to your feet man,” Merton said, holding his hand out for Yrre.
Grinning, Yrre took Merton’s offered hand and rose to his feet.
“Have you been practising that little speech of yours?” Merton asked with humour.
“No…maybe, but only for the last day or so. Do you think I went a little overboard?’ Yrre asked.
“I think you drowned the bloody crew,” Merton replied. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”
Yrre went over to his horse and led him forwards, passing the reins to Merton. “Will there be a new soul with us when you return?”
“Amandine is a lady. I cannot ask her to live the life we do. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“Maybe she should be the judge of that. Although I have no idea what she sees in your scraggly ass.”
Merton mounted and gathered up the reins. “If I am not back by sundown come looking for me.”
“If you are not back by sundown, I’ll burn the bloody castle to the ground,” Yrre promised. “And Merton…this time, don’t forget the food.”
26
Merton rode towards Benwick with a smile on his face, but as he approached the high walls, the smile turned into a grimace. How was he supposed to say goodbye to Amandine? He was in love with her. There was no point pretending that he wasn’t. He didn’t want to leave her behind. But his reasoning for not bringing her with him was sound.
“My Lord du Lac.”
Merton turned in his saddle at the sound of Amandine’s voice. But the smile of welcome fell from his lips and was replaced with a look of horror. What the hell did she think she was doing? He glanced behind her, looking for a suitable companion, for it was not the thing for a married woman, or any woman for that matter, to be out alone with a man such as Jenison. Seeing none, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“My Lord,” Lord Jenison bowed, somewhat stiffly. He, like many of the others in court, feared Merton.
Merton did not even glance his way. All his attention was on Amandine.
“We were just taking a pleasant stroll,” Jenison said.
“Could you not have chosen a better day for it?” Merton replied, his eyes still fixed on Amandine’s face. She raised her chin higher and stared back.
“Lady Amandine felt stifled in the hall, what with all those guests.”
“Better to be stifled, than to catch a cold. You should have known better than to take a lady out in this weather.”
“I asked to go,” Amandine answered. She saw her answer did nothing to pacify the temper in Merton’s face.
“I would like to speak to Lady Amandine alone, my Lord. Please do not concern yourself with her safety. I will see she returns safely back to the castle,” Merton said.
Jenison began to argue, but Amandine calmed him by placing her hand on his arm and smiling sweetly up at him. “I will be quite all right. Will I see you at supper?” she asked fluttering her eyelashes.
“As you wish,” Jenison said, his eyes lighting up at the thought. He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles.
She swore she felt the fork of his tongue reach out and lick her. She quickly withdrew her hand.
Lord Jenison bowed his head to Merton and then continued up the path towards the castle. She turned her face and watched as Merton dismounted, water dripping off him.
Amandine couldn’t help herself; she knew she should not have laughed, especially seeing the anger in his face, but he looked like a drowned rat.
“Got caught in the rain did we?” she jested.
He didn’t smile. “Will I see you at supper?” he mimicked Amandine’s voice. “Lord Jenison?” He asked lividly as he grasped her elbow. “Amandine, have you completely lost your mind?” He felt the urge to shake her, so he quickly let go of her arm and took a step back away from temptation. He had sworn that no harm would come to her by his hand, and he meant to keep that promise no matter what. “I don’t want you anywhere near him. That man is dangerous. Do you not remember that he was accused of rape? But because the peasant girl fell pregnant with his child, no one believed her accusations. She was charged with lying, and she had to pay a fine. Her father’s heart gave way, they said because of the shame she brought on his house and her entire family ended up destitute. No one knows what happened to her after that.”
Amandine sobered, remembering. “That was a long time ago. And besides, you were the one with all the questions about Philippe. I thought about what you said, and I was curious. I thought Jenison could give me some answers. I am trying to find out what is going on. I thought you would be pleased,” she whispered.
“Pleased?” Merton almost choked on the word. “I am far from pleased. He could have hurt you.”
“I do not think my shadow would have let him touch me like that. I was perfectly safe. He is in that coppice over there, if you are wondering,” Amandine looked behind her. “One of your men, I assume?”
In his anger with her, he had forgotten all about Wann.
“Merton, I appreci
ate the concern, but I have managed to survive this long without a guard. And I have encountered men like Jenison before. I know how to handle them.”
“No you don’t,” he snapped. “You haven’t got a clue what a man like that is capable of.”
“Oh for goodness sake,” Amandine scoffed, and she began to walk away. She wasn’t going to stand here and be scolded, but Merton stepped in front of her and caught hold of her arm again.
“You took a hell of a risk going out alone with him. Don’t do it again.” He gripped her a little bit tighter. “When I saw you with him-”
“You are not my husband,” Amandine reminded him. “Now leave me alone.” She tried to pull her arm free but to no avail.
“One day I will be your husband,” there was a promise in his eyes as he spoke. “And I would appreciate it if you stayed away from men like him in the meantime.”
“Are you proposing?” Amandine asked, her voice faint, breathless.
“Yes,” Merton stated, realising that he was indeed, asking her to marry him. “Yes, I am.”
“Merton, I…”
“Would you take a sinner for a husband?” he asked her, not realising he was holding his breath as he waited for her answer.
“If the sinner was you, then yes,” Amandine answered.
Merton breathed out a sigh of relief and smiled at her.
“But at the moment you are not my husband,” she reminded him, “so you have no authority over me. Now let go of my arm,” she commanded, somewhat fiercer than what she had intended to.
He released her immediately, and she foolishly felt bereaved at the loss of his touch. He turned his head away from her and stared moodily at nothing. She suddenly felt like she was five years old and was being told off by her father. That, she would not stand for.
“You cannot tell me what to do,” she stated again, and this time, it was she that reached for him, by placing her hand tentatively on his chest. Immediately she felt a sense of completeness, the likes of which she had not known since Garren. “Look at me,” she commanded softly.
Reluctantly Merton turned his head, and his hand reached up and brushed away a strand of damp loose hair that had fallen into her face.
“If anything happened to you…” Merton’s fingers skimmed her cheek. “Please, don’t take such a risk again, my heart can’t take it.”
“I just wanted to help,” she said, and then she closed her eyes as Merton’s thumb traced the outline of her lips. She breathed out unsteadily. No one had ever touched her like this before, not even Garren. Merton was so close. She felt her heart rate increase and she whispered his name as he lowered his head.
The weather suddenly took a turn for the worse, and the rain began to lash the earth violently. Merton raised his head and looked up at the menacingly dark sky.
“Let’s get out of here,” he said as he took her hand in his.
They rushed back to the castle and took shelter in the stables. Merton untacked Yrre’s horse, for all the grooms, were busy. He then used his hand to rub the excess water from the animal’s coat, before grabbing a handful of straw and a horsehair brush.
“The groom can do this later,” Amandine said. She was stood next to the horse’s head, holding on to the lead rope that Merton had thrust into her hand. She stroked the horse’s damp face as Merton groomed him.
“It won’t take me long.” He didn’t speak to her after that, not once, and she sensed that he was still angry with her.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled the apology after she became uncomfortable with the silence.
“It is not apologies I want. It is reassurance that you won’t do anything so foolish again,” Merton answered as he dropped the straw and the brush and picked up a hoof pick. The horse fussed about having the mud picked from his front hoof, and Amandine caught hold of his headcollar to keep him still.
“What do you want from me, Merton?” she asked as he placed the horse’s hoof back down onto the floor.
“You know what I want,” Merton answered, still not looking at her.
“I won’t let you kill my husband,” she whispered, in case they were overheard.
“Then we have nothing more to say on the subject,” Merton said, finally meeting her eyes with his. “I will not share you, and I don’t want you to be my mistress. I want you to be my wife.”
He tossed the hoof pick into a bucket and took the lead rope from Amandine and tied the horse to his stall.
“I want to be your wife as well, but not at the expense of Bretagne’s death. Merton, I couldn’t live with myself if you killed him. The guilt would destroy me. It would destroy us. I’m sorry, but I don’t think we should be alone with each other anymore.” Amandine stated, even though it broke her heart to say such words. “Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind,” that was what Garren had once said about Merton to Alden, and his words came back to torment her. “I need you to leave me alone. I want you to call off the man you have ordered to keep watch on me. I am not a child. I don’t need a nursemaid. And please, do not follow me. I do not need you to escort me into the castle. I know my way around.”
She left him in the stables and stepped outside. Thankfully, the rain had eased up a little, although a part of the courtyard was flooded.
“I said I would see you safely to your chamber, and I intend to fulfil that promise,” Merton said, catching up with her.
“There really is no need.”
“I think there is every need.” He caught her hand and placed it in the crease of his elbow.
She wanted to protest. She wanted to drag her hand away from him, but they were nearing the castle now, and there was always someone watching, looking for the next juicy piece of gossip.
“I am not helpless. I can look after myself.”
“I would have to disagree with you there.” He stopped and turned her to face him. “If you had seen what I have seen, then…” he looked away from her as images of women crying, screaming, begging, blurred his vision. He had never partaken in rape or torture of the fairer sex, but he had watched others do so. It was an inevitable part of being a mercenary. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Merton, this is Benwick, not a battlefield. I am perfectly safe. You must not fear for me. And anyway, what will happen when you leave?”
“What do you mean?”
“I won’t have my shadow then. I assume he will go with you.”
“I was hoping you would as well,” Merton answered.
“I can’t. And I won’t let you hurt him.”
“You don’t love him,” Merton stated. “And he doesn’t care for you, not the way I do.”
“I respect him.”
“He shames you,” Merton huffed. “He deserves not your respect. And he doesn’t care what happens to you. If he did, he would never have allowed you to go walking with Lord Jenison.”
“He doesn’t even know I went out with him.”
“A husband should be aware where his wife is at all times.”
“Why?” Amandine felt her anger rising. “So he can control her? I have seen marriages like that. The woman is almost afraid to speak in case she says the wrong thing. I am grateful Lord Bretagne isn’t like that.”
“I am not talking about control. I am talking about your welfare. What if something had happened? What if Jenison had forced himself on you? What then? No one knew where you were. No one would have gone looking for you until it was too late.”
Amandine turned her face away. Looking back now, she realised that her actions were reckless, but she wasn’t going to admit that to him.
“If you were mine, I would want to know where you were at all times, not because I want to control you but because I want to keep you safe. There’s a difference. Amandine,” he sighed her name, “if you were my wife,” he glanced at her and saw the way a blush stole upon her cheeks at his words. He leant closer to her. “I would do everything in my power to make you happy. Everything,” he whispered, and he caught hold of her
hand and their fingers entwined.
“Merton,” she glanced at their hands. “Someone might see.”
“Maybe they should. If it is thought that you are mine, then no one would dare touch you.” He squeezed her fingers and then he let go of her hand. “Shall we?” He indicated the castle entrance with a small tilt of his head. She surprised him by tucking her hand in the crease of his elbow.
“Lead on,” she whispered.
They walked in companionable silence until they reached the entrance to the castle. Amandine was about to climb the first step when Merton took hold of her hand and led her towards the Queen’s herb garden.
“Where are we going?”
“I have something I need to tell you,” Merton said, coming to stop by the gate and turning to look at her.
“What is it?” she asked when he continued to stare at her.
“I am leaving. Today,” he said.
“Today? No. It’s too soon. I don’t…but you have only just got back.”
“I want you to come with me.”
“I can’t,” she shook her head desperately, and the tears gathered in her eyes.
“I will leave him alive if that is what you want. We can wait to marry. He is an old man, he won’t last forever. Just say you will come with me.”
She continued to shake her head. “I can’t. My place is here. My home is here. Why can’t you stay?”
Merton reached up and gently brushed her cold, damp cheek with his thumb. “You know I cannot.”
“I don’t want to lose you,” Amandine said, desperate for him to know just how much he had come to mean to her.
“I don’t belong here, and besides, Budic would never allow it. My men and I have decided to follow the coast down to Hispania. No one knows us there. We can start again. Yrre wants to become a farmer. I like the idea of raising a family. I want to raise that family with you.”
“I thought… You said Wihtgar and Clovis would hunt you down and that you were living on borrowed time. I thought Alden was taking Tanick to Cerniw…I thought it had all be decided.”
“Clovis and Wihtgar will not find me if I go to Hispania. And I thought about what you said earlier. Tanick needs me. Just like Brianna needed me.” He watched her expression very carefully. “You knew, didn’t you? You knew she was mine.”