My Baby, My Love

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My Baby, My Love Page 21

by Dani Sinclair


  The temptation to confide in the doctor was strong. She liked Dr. Martin and she needed someone to confide in. Laura had taken a new job in Kansas to be closer to her family, while Hannah was so much in love with her new husband that Sydney felt uncomfortable in her friend’s company.

  As a result, Sydney had felt lost ever since walking out of Noah’s hospital room more than a week ago, when they told her he would make it. The FBI agents hadn’t been as lucky and she’d shed several tears for them and their families.

  Sydney had been staying at the house in Fools Point, first because it was closer to the hospital where they’d initially taken Noah, then because her things were there and she had nowhere else to go. She’d closed up Jerome’s apartment, and with Laura gone, she wasn’t comfortable staying at her old apartment.

  “Actually, I didn’t kill Gunnar Yosten,” she told the doctor. “According to Chief Hepplewhite, my shot went into a cupboard. A police officer on the back porch fired the fatal bullet.”

  “That must make you feel better.”

  Sydney shook her head. “I keep thinking if he hadn’t arrived when he did, we’d both be dead.”

  “I can give you something for the nightmares, Sydney.”

  “I’d rather not. It isn’t good for the baby. I can deal with them.”

  “Not from where I’m standing, but it’s up to you. If you change your mind, let me know. I understand they’ve recovered all the money.”

  “Yes. They discovered Jerome had a second safety deposit box at the bank. They found his personal papers and another tape he made of them planning the crime. Gunnar was the brains, while Barry selected the easiest employee to exploit. They seem certain no one else was involved.”

  “I’m glad it’s finally over. I saw Noah this morning,” the doctor said carefully. “They’re going to discharge him from the hospital tomorrow.”

  The doctor closed her chart and tapped her pen against the cover while Sydney absorbed her words. “You know, you’re my last patient today. Jasmine left early. How would you like a glass of iced tea? It’s decaffeinated.”

  “I’d like that. Thank you.” She wasn’t in a hurry to be alone with her own thoughts again right now.

  “Call me Leslie. I know I’m your doctor, but I’d also like to be your friend.”

  “I’d like that, too.”

  Leslie shut off the lights and locked down the office. She led Sydney through a door at the end of the hall and into a bright, cozy kitchen.

  “Have a seat,” she said, heading for the refrigerator. “Feel free to tell me to butt out, if you’d like, but what happened between you and Noah?”

  Sydney sat at the table and began toying with the bright teal and yellow place mats while Leslie pulled out glasses and a pitcher of tea. The hurt was a dull ache in her chest.

  “Noah told me he’s really the father of my baby.”

  Leslie nodded. She poured tea into both glasses and sat down. “I thought that might be the problem.”

  “He said he inadvertently made you an accomplice in the fraud.”

  “Yes. What Jerome did was highly illegal. You know about the informed consent law.”

  Sydney nodded. “All those papers I had to fill out agreeing to have the procedure done.”

  “That’s right. While I wasn’t directly involved in the deception, I agreed to let Noah ship the sperm here for Jerome to pick up. I didn’t know you were in the dark about the real donor. That’s illegal.”

  “Are you going to get in trouble?”

  “That depends. Are you going to prosecute?”

  Shocked, Sydney stared at her. “Of course not.”

  Leslie nodded. “I didn’t think so. Do you love Noah?”

  Sydney didn’t have to think about her answer. “Yes. When he was shot I…” There weren’t words to express the devastation she’d felt. Even her grandma’s death, leaving her alone in the world at sixteen, hadn’t left her as scared or as empty in her heart.

  “It’s okay. I can imagine. Noah’s doing great, I’m happy to report. A child should have both his parents.”

  Sydney frowned. “We’re not getting married.”

  “Why not?”

  Sydney thought of all the reasons she could give and then settled on the only one that really mattered. “He doesn’t love me. The baby and I are just a responsibility.”

  Leslie paused, the glass halfway to her lips. Finally, she closed her mouth over the rim, took a swallow and set the glass back down. With a toss of her head she said, “I know they say love is blind, but this is ridiculous. Sydney, that man is head over heels in love with you.”

  Her heart began to race. “You’re wrong. He never once said that.”

  Leslie pursed her lips and raised her eyes toward the ceiling. “I’ve known Noah since grade school. That man loves you more than you know. Men like Noah don’t bother with words. People use them without real meaning. Noah’s the type to show you how he feels, in ways that count.”

  Sydney pictured Noah rushing into danger—almost dying. Holding her when she was frightened. Making exquisitely tender love to her.

  Leslie set her glass down with a decided thunk. “Think long and hard before you let Noah walk out of your life.”

  “I don’t want him out of my life,” she admitted. “Or out of the baby’s life.”

  “Good, because he’ll make a wonderfully loving father if you give him a chance. Trust me, I’m usually right about this sort of thing.”

  “Even if he does love me, he’s already wedded to his military career.”

  Her eyebrows disappeared under her bangs as Leslie looked up at the ceiling again and shook her head. “Ever hear of divorce?”

  SYDNEY THOUGHT about that discussion as she tossed in the large king-size bed that night. She’d gotten past most of her hurt the minute she saw Noah bleeding to death. The problem was, she didn’t want to make another mistake. What if Leslie was wrong? What if Noah didn’t love her after all? What if his sense of duty and responsibility were the only reasons he’d proposed to her?

  Giving up the fruitless battle for sleep, she rose before the sun and cleaned house, needing something to occupy her time. She thought of the FBI agents Gunnar had murdered. They would never see their children grow. And she thought of Noah. Of his blood spilling onto the kitchen floor. And she wondered why she was being such a fool.

  “I DON’T NEED or want a wheelchair,” Noah said flatly.

  “Yes, sir, I understand that, but—”

  “Intimidating the troops, Major?”

  Noah jerked his head in the direction of the door, shocked to see Sydney standing there. He feasted his eyes over every inch of her. She wore a loose-fitting cotton sundress and there were dark circles under her eyes that makeup couldn’t cover. But seeing her was balm for his soul.

  “I’ll handle him,” Sydney told the woman standing behind the wheelchair.

  “Uh, yes, ma’am.” The young woman scurried from the room.

  “She’s not one of the troops, she’s a civilian,” Noah told Sydney. “And I think you’re the one who intimidated her.”

  “Maybe so, but I did it with less aggression.”

  “Is that right?”

  Her skin was pale, and she obviously hadn’t been sleeping. He could relate to that. He’d been going frantic worrying about her for the past week.

  “I wasn’t expecting you,” he said.

  She didn’t smile. “I thought you might need a lift home.”

  “Home?”

  “To Fools Point.”

  He stared, trying to decide why she was here. He was afraid to let himself believe what he so desperately wanted to believe. “I was planning to go and look for you.”

  “Really?” She licked her lips. Sydney was nervous. That surprised him, but it also eased a knot of tension in his chest.

  “I’ve been practicing my groveling,” he told her.

  “Oh?”

  “I figure there’s no way an apology will
cut it, so I’m going to have to throw myself at your feet and beg.”

  Her wonderfully soft lips began to curl with the hint of a smile.

  “There’s something about that image I really like, Major.”

  “I had a feeling it would appeal to you.” He took a step closer and caught the faintest trace of gardenias. “I always knew you were officer material.”

  “You would know.”

  He stepped close enough to touch her, but he didn’t. “Is there any way to fix the broken trust between us?”

  Her gaze never wavered, but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Was she willing to forgive him or was she going to suggest he get himself stationed somewhere like Alaska?

  “You could marry me,” she said softly.

  A crushing weight lifted from him. Noah opened his arms. She came into them without hesitation. Warmly, softly—his. He let her scent envelop him and held her tightly, still terrified that she would pull away.

  “I’m sorry, Syd,” he said, breathing against her soft hair.

  “I know. It’s okay. It just took me a while to get things right in my mind.” She pulled her face back to stare into his eyes. “Leslie was right. You’re going to make a terrific father.”

  He crushed her against his chest and covered her lips, letting his kiss speak for him.

  They were both breathing heavily when they pulled apart.

  “I love you, Sydney.”

  “I know that, now. Why don’t you get in the chair, Major, and we’ll go home and discuss plans for the rest of our lives.”

  “I like the sound of that, but I don’t need a wheelchair,” he told her.

  “I’m pulling rank. The woman hiding in the corridor says you do. Are you going to argue over a stupid wheelchair, or are you going to save that energy for something more productive?”

  Noah climbed into the wheelchair. “I’ve got a feeling the next seventy years or so are going to prove an interesting challenge.”

  “Count on it, Major.”

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-5716-4

  MY BABY, MY LOVE

  Copyright © 2000 by Patricia A. Gagne

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