He heard the SUV toot its warning. And he saw the moment the car in the next lane took off, so fast its wheels skidded slightly on the wet road. Kate was running and, for a split second, it seemed that she was going to make it. It would be a near miss that would probably give her nothing more than a fright.
Except she didn’t quite make it. He saw her falling. Saw her umbrella float away from her in a graceful arc, tumbling over itself before it hit the ground. More vehicles were sounding their horns now because few people could see why the traffic had stalled in front of a green light. The cacophony of sound seemed an appropriate background to the sense of panic that kicked in after Luke’s momentary freeze.
Katy...
People were getting out of their vehicles by the time he sprinted into the middle of the road. Horns were still blaring and people were shouting.
‘What the hell happened?’
‘Call an ambulance.’
‘The hospital’s just down the road.’
‘Call the police.’
Someone picked up Kate’s umbrella and moved to hold it over the crumpled figure on the tarmac.
‘I’m a doctor... Let me through...’ Luke had to push past the gathering huddle of strangers. He dropped to his knees beside Kate, oblivious to the puddle he was kneeling in or the cold rain trickling down his face.
The light was flickering, with the shapes of people moving in front of headlights and the traffic lights changing, but he could see that Kate’s eyes were closed.
Was she breathing?
Luke cradled the top of her head with his hand, not simply because he needed to stop any movement in case she had injured her neck, but because he needed to touch her for way more than medical reasons. He put his other hand gently on her abdomen. He’d be able to feel the movements of breathing more easily than see them in this light.
‘Kate? Can you hear me?’
Luke could feel the muscles beneath his hand lurch as a deep breath was dragged in. And then Kate’s eyelids flickered.
‘Stay still, hon... Don’t move...’
He heard the blast of a nearby siren.
‘Move out of the way,’ someone yelled.
A police car edged its way through the traffic that had now stopped in both directions. And behind that were the flashing beacons of an ambulance that had probably already been in the queue of traffic leaving the hospital.
Kate was blinking up at Luke now and her mouth opened. The distressed sound was only quiet but Luke would have heard it no matter how loud the background was. It cut through him like a knife.
‘It’s okay, Katy... Everything’s going to be okay...’
Was it?
How badly was she hurt?
Maybe nothing was going to be okay. For either of them...
The fear that kicked in then was crippling. Unprofessional. It didn’t matter that he could see that Kate was conscious and therefore had an open airway and was breathing. He needed to check for any major injuries. Blood loss...
It was just as well the paramedics were here now. Luke simply had to hold Kate’s head still and he could lean close enough to try and give her reassurance.
Give himself reassurance, too?
‘It’s okay,’ he kept repeating. ‘Everything’s going to be okay.’
‘Did anyone see exactly what happened?’ the paramedics asked. ‘How fast was the car going? Was she knocked out?
‘Yes,’ Luke told them. ‘She was unconscious when I got here.’
‘Let’s get a collar on and scoop her. We need to get her off the road.’
‘No...’ Kate was trying to move. ‘I’m all right.’
‘I think she fell,’ someone spoke up from the huddle of onlookers. ‘I’m not sure that the car actually touched her but it was a bit of a blur what with the rain and everything. It all happened so fast.’
‘Stay still, Katy,’ Luke said. ‘We’ll get you into A and E so we can check you out properly.’ Right now, it didn’t make a difference whether she had fallen or been hit by a car. She had hit her head hard enough to knock her unconscious and that could well indicate a serious injury.
A cervical collar was strapped around Kate’s neck and the scoop stretcher that separated into two pieces to be eased in from either side of her body meant that she could be moved without interfering with the alignment of her spine. There were warm blankets to cover her with and the heating in the ambulance was turned up high but the trip back to the hospital only a block away was slowed because of the traffic jam and both Kate and Luke were shivering by the time they were under the bright lights of the emergency department.
‘You’re soaked,’ Kate said. ‘I’m s-so sorry, Luke. This was m-my fault...’
‘Shh...it doesn’t matter. Is anything hurting?’
‘Let’s get her onto the bed.’ A consultant was waiting to lead the team in the resuscitation area Kate’s stretcher was wheeled into. ‘On my count. One, two...three...’ The doctor’s eyes widened as he looked down at his patient. ‘Kate?’
‘Car versus pedestrian,’ the paramedic said. ‘She was KO’d.’
‘It was my fault,’ Kate whispered. ‘The lights were changing and I made a run for it.’
The scoop stretcher was being unclipped and removed. The consultant was keeping Kate’s head still.
‘Any trouble breathing?’
‘No.’
‘Any pain?’
People were removing Kate’s clothing. Someone was sticking ECG electrodes to her skin.
‘I... No, I don’t think so. Maybe my head, a bit...’
Her hair was wet, dark against the white sheet on the bed. To his horror, Luke could see a faint pink stain appearing.
‘She’s bleeding,’ he snapped. ‘From a head injury.’
The consultant glanced up. ‘And you are...?
‘Luke Anderson. I’m Kate’s...’ The hesitation was involuntary. What could he say?
I’m Kate’s friend?
I’m the father of Kate’s baby?
He was much more than either of those things, though, wasn’t he?
He was Kate’s person.
The person who loved her enough to want to spend the rest of his life with her.
So much so that in that awful moment of standing there, frozen, on the side of the road, he’d known that he couldn’t live without her.
He was...oh, God...he was in love with her, wasn’t he?
And it felt like he always had been. The truth of it had just been hiding but something had shifted in the shock of seeing Kate hit by that car and now wave after wave of this extraordinary feeling was washing over him, threatening to knock him off his feet.
‘Luke’s a surgeon.’ Kate was filling the gap his hesitation had left. ‘Over at Edinburgh’s Royal Children’s Hospital. And he’s...he’s my fiancé.’
Fiancé?
But Kate had brushed off the idea of a registry office wedding as being unnecessary. Undesirable, even. On top of his stunning epiphany, the ground was still moving beneath his feet. What on earth was going on here?
‘No way...’ one of the nurses in the room gasped, looking up from her task of wrapping a blood-pressure cuff around an arm. ‘You kept that quiet, Kate.’
‘Let’s celebrate the engagement later, shall we?’ But the consultant was smiling. ‘Right now, I want to see what damage you’ve done to yourself. What’s the BP?’
‘Ninety-five over sixty.’
‘I’m usually on the low side.’ Kate’s voice sounded steadier now. ‘Look... I can wiggle my fingers and toes. Nothing hurts.’
‘We’ll get an X-ray of your C-spine before we take that collar off. You hit your head hard enough to get knocked out, even if it wasn’t for long. And I don’t like the look of that bruise on your hip. Could have been where the car clipped you. W
e should check for a pelvic fracture, too.’
‘No...no X-rays...’
Another tiny, surprised silence fell.
‘I’m...’ Kate’s glance locked with Luke’s, her eyes dark with something that looked like fear. ‘I’m pregnant.’
The fear was contagious. Maybe he was less anxious about Kate now that he could see how alert she was and that she was claiming to feel all right, but there was someone else to worry about, too, wasn’t there?
He took hold of her hand and squeezed it. Kate squeezed back but didn’t release the pressure. She was clinging to his hand and that was fine by him. He didn’t want her to let go. The pressure felt like an anchor, holding him steady in a space where he still felt like he was spinning out of control.
He had fallen in love with her. The one thing he had sworn never to do. The one thing that he couldn’t trust. And Kate felt the same way. She’d said it herself only days ago. That she wasn’t in love with him. That that was the only reason that the pact was working out so perfectly. He could hear very clear echoes of her voice.
If that changed, it wouldn’t work, would it?’
You’ve persuaded me to buy into the pact and give up on my lifelong dream of being swept off my feet by a grand passion...
‘Right.’ The consultant had taken the new information in his stride. ‘Let’s do a thorough secondary survey, then. We’ll hold off on the X-rays until we know what we’re dealing with. Now...let’s have a good look at your head. What day is it today, Kate?’
‘Wednesday.’
‘Time?’
‘Um...it was after five when I left work. I was running late to meet Luke at the pub. Ow...!’
‘Sore?’
‘Bit tender.’
‘You’ve got a good lump. And it’s grazed a bit but I can’t feel anything boggy. I don’t think you’ve fractured your skull.’
‘The bruising’s superficial,’ a registrar added. ‘More consistent with hitting the road than contact with a vehicle. Abdo’s soft. Pelvis is stable.’
‘I think I tripped,’ Kate said. ‘I remember seeing the lights of the car really close and thinking that I had to get out of the way.’
The consultant undid the straps of the neck collar. ‘Don’t move yet.’ He was palpating the back of her neck. ‘Any pain?’
‘No.’
‘Try moving your neck very gently. Chin down...and up...’
‘It’s fine, honestly.’
‘To the right...and left... No pain?’
‘None. I’ve just got a bit of a headache. It’s nothing that a paracetamol won’t fix. Can I sit up now? Please?’
She was still holding Luke’s hand as pillows were found and she was helped to sit up a short time later, when everyone was satisfied that she hadn’t suffered a serious injury.
That was how he could feel her wince.
‘What is it? What’s hurting?’
‘It’s nothing.’ But Kate’s hand had gone to her abdomen. ‘Just a bit of a cramp.’
She looked up in time to catch the swift glance between Luke and the consultant. ‘What? It wasn’t enough of a bump to have hurt the baby...’ Her voice wobbled. ‘Was it...?’
‘Let’s do an ultrasound. How many weeks are you, Kate?’
‘We only found out a few weeks ago. Around seven weeks, I guess.’
‘Try not to worry. Let’s move you out of Resus to somewhere a bit quieter. We’ll do the ultrasound. I want you to stay under observation for a bit, anyway, to make sure it’s only a mild concussion.’ He smiled at Kate as they prepared to move her bed. ‘You’ve been lucky, haven’t you?’
Lucky?
Kate didn’t bother trying to wipe away the tears rolling down her face. She didn’t open her eyes either.
‘It could have been worse.’ Luke’s voice sounded raw. ‘You could have been killed, Katy.’
She started to nod but it made her headache worse. Instead, she dragged her hand over her face, taking a deep breath that went in as a sniff and came out as a sigh.
‘It’s okay, Luke. You don’t have to stay here all night.’
‘I’m not going anywhere.’
With an effort, Kate opened her eyes. ‘Don’t be daft. Your clothes are still damp. My grandma would have said you’ll catch your death if you sit around like that.’
‘Urban myth. Like breakfast being the most important meal of the day.’
‘Which is another thing. When did you last have something to eat?’
‘I can’t remember. Probably about the same time you did.’
The lopsided tilt of Luke’s mouth showed his appreciation of her attempt to show concern for his well-being but was that really what she was trying to do?
Maybe she needed him to go away and leave her alone to deal with this.
Because it was huge.
Heartbreaking...
‘I’m okay, Luke.’ Kate swallowed hard. She needed him to believe that. Just like she needed him to believe that she wasn’t in love with him. If he knew just how badly she needed him to hold her right now and keep telling her that everything would be okay—like he had when she’d been lying on that road—he might guess how she really felt.
How afraid she was of losing him, as well as their baby.
Was the perfect pact starting to unravel?
‘It’s not as if it was...real.’ Kate had to squeeze her eyes shut. Her last word came out as no more than a whisper.
‘What do you mean?’ Luke sounded bewildered. ‘Of course it was real.’
He was right. The baby had been very real. Knowing they were going to be parents had been very real. They’d been scouring the globe for the perfect place to raise a family, for heaven’s sake.
She had loved this baby already...
Maybe what she was actually saying was that their partnership wasn’t real? That there was something clinical about implementing that pact? That she didn’t think that Luke could feel this loss as much as her because he wasn’t as invested as she was in either the relationship or their future family?
But when the silence had continued long enough to make her open her eyes, what she could see in Luke’s face was confusing. He looked so tired.
Sad...
As if he was hurting as much as she was?
It wasn’t really fair to think she was the only one to feel devastated by this unexpected turn of events. He’d been delighted that she’d become pregnant so easily. As if it was confirmation that they were doing the right thing by basing their entire future on what was, as far as Luke was concerned, a kind of arranged marriage.
Or was it something else that was bothering him so much?
A flash of fear cut through her own grief. Was Luke realising that they couldn’t control everything by being so pragmatic about how they made their choices? That maybe the pact wasn’t worth the metaphorical paper it had been written on?
‘I just meant that it was so early,’ she said quietly. ‘There’s always a risk in the first trimester. And it happened so much faster than we expected, too. We’d hardly had time to get used to the idea, had we?’
‘Mmm.’ Luke didn’t sound convinced. His gaze was searching. ‘Are you sure you’re okay, Katy?
With the biggest effort ever, Kate summoned a smile. ‘I will be. I’ve got a thumping headache and all I want to do is sleep for a bit.’
‘You’ll stay here until they’re happy to let you go, though?’
‘Yeah...’
‘And you can’t be at home by yourself. You’ll need someone who can spot any signs of a change in the signs or symptoms of a head injury.’
‘Georgie’s more than capable. She’s coming in later with some clean clothes for me and she said that she’s juggled her shifts so that she can stay home tomorrow.’
Kate didn’t add that i
t hadn’t been a problem because Georgia had confessed her pregnancy at work and was restricted to lighter duties now. She didn’t want to think about how obvious Georgia’s bump had become in the last few weeks.
The kind of bump that Kate was no longer going to experience in the near future.
More tears were not far away. That she wanted Luke to stay so badly was a warning sign that things could unravel even more than they had already. If she wanted to keep at least their relationship intact, he needed to go. Now.
‘Go home, Luke. I just want to go to sleep for a bit so there’s no point in you sitting here.’
‘But...’ Luke had an odd expression on his face. As if he was debating whether or not to say something that she might not want to hear.
She could help him decide. Make it clear that she didn’t want to hear it.
‘Go. Please.’ Kate closed her eyes again to signal an end to the conversation. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow.’
* * *
‘Are you sure you’re up to this?’
Kate didn’t pause in her progress up the steep hill. ‘Stop trying to wrap me in cotton wool, Luke. I’m fine.’
‘No headache today?’
‘I haven’t had a headache in more than a week. I’m fine. It was a mild concussion and it was nearly two weeks ago. I only needed a day or two off work and this is the first day off that we’ve both had since then.’ Kate’s smile was bright. ‘Normal service has resumed. And I’m really looking forward to finally getting to see the inside of Edinburgh Castle.’
‘Me, too.’ But Luke could feel himself frowning as he stared straight ahead. It didn’t feel as if ‘normal service’ had been resumed. There had been something different about Kate ever since the devastating news about the baby.
Something that seemed...off-key.
He’d tried to talk to her about it, more than once, but she’d brushed it off as being no big deal.
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