by C. A. Harms
I read this from Dylan not understanding why he kept these games going. I was constantly feeling heartbroken and undecided.
I called his phone against my better judgment and he answered immediately after the first ring. "Hello"
"Dylan I can’t see you because its hurts too much. I have interrupted your life too much. I made some decisions tonight and I can't stay at your house anymore. I'm going to call the case worker tomorrow and see if she can find a place for me to stay until I figure something else out." He kept trying to talk over me...saying things like no and you can't do that. I didn't listen I just needed to tell him this as quickly as possible and then hang up. "Sorry Dylan I have to go" And I ended the call.
I found my way back home or at least my temporary home. After placing the keys on the counter I found Casey’s room was empty. Carter was asleep on the couch; I shook him lightly asking if he knew where Casey was... he grumbled in a sleepy daze, "In mom’s room". So nothing was broken and everything was quiet. Things must have gone okay with the conversation. I crawled into bed falling asleep. Soon after I was woken up by a small click of the door shutting I thought it was Casey coming back to her room. When I blinked a few times I realized Dylan was sitting down next to me on the bed reaching out his hand to touch mine. I let him take my hand in his. I was just entirely too worn out and exhausted from our constant battle of our hearts. I wasn't going to say anything I'd decided it was time to just give up the fight. I wasn't going to fight myself or him any longer. He brought his other hand up and through the shadows of the street lights from outside I could see he had in his hand a bouquet of flowers. I swallowed hard and then listened to him speak. His voice sounded trembling as he said, "I hate that I wasn't the one that gave you your first flower. I couldn't find a store open this late here in town so I drove to my grandmothers and.... she helped me cut these for you. I know that it's probably too late Payton, but I have to try. I have to tell you that I lied; I kissed you because I wanted to. After that morning I came with my mom to get you, seeing you sitting on that couch wrapped in the blanket looking so scared and alone something hit me. I tried to fight it, I tried because your Casey's best friend and because of our age, but I can't fight it anymore. Every day I see you I just want to hold you so close to me, I want to protect you and make you feel safe and secure. I don't want anyone to ever hurt you again; I don't want you to leave Payton. You can't leave, I'm so sorry that I've hurt you. I don't want to hurt you, I want to love you...because I do love you Payton. I love you! Please tell me I'm not too late. Tell me you still care about me, that we have a chance. I'll do anything for you. I'll do anything to have another chance with you. I was an idiot to push you away. I don't want to lose you Payton. I love you so much more than I thought possible and when you said tonight that you were leaving, I felt so empty." He fell silent. "Say it again!" I needed to hear it...I couldn’t wrap my mind around what just happened. He loved me he must be insane. He couldn’t love me. He couldn't. After another moment of silence he leaned forward placing his lips gently to mine kissing me softly and whispering..."Payton, I love you...let me love you."
Setting the vase full of flowers onto the nightstand he brought up his hand to place it on my cheek. I leaned into his hand and let go. I needed him as close as possible. I needed him to hold me. I needed his kiss, his touch. I placed my hands on the back of his neck and lightly pulled him toward me and back onto the bed. He followed me with his body coming down onto mine and covering my mouth so sweetly with his. I laid there in his arms with the weight of his body pressing into mine. Our kisses were so gentle and caring. Bringing his hand up to my face to lightly caress my cheek with his hand as our tongues rolled together slowly. Between kisses I looked into his eyes through the light from the street lamps I whispered so lightly, "It’s not too late". He smiled that melt your heart smile and kissed me again. I drifted off to sleep in his arms and had never felt like I belonged somewhere more than I'd felt at that moment. It was so right within his hold; nothing and no one could hurt me. With Dylan I felt safer than I had ever felt before.
"GROSS...Not in my bed come on guys!" We heard Casey say from her doorway the next morning as we both sat up quickly. I laughed looking at her and replied, "We just fell asleep that's all, stop freaking out. Nothing happened," I turned and looked at Dylan with his sexy tousled hair as he turned into me and gave me a hug...then he stood up and walk passed Casey pausing in the doorway to say, "No Casey nothing happened besides the fact that we made out for a couple hours". Winking at me then he walked out. Casey’s looked at me with a WHAT THE HELL look on her face. “I must be in the twilight zone or I'm still sleeping really just pinch me because I seriously have no idea what is going on!" I pulled her by the hand down next to me to fill her in on the whole thing between Dylan and I. She could hardly believe it. She followed up by filling me in on everything that happened between Karen her and Seth. After we talked for quite some time we both just look at one another and smiled. "I think we’re gonna be okay," I told her right before giving a big hug and heading off to take a long hot shower.
Chapter Twelve
Dylan was sitting at the kitchen table talking to Karen and I walked in feeling as if I had interrupted. They both turned to look at me when I walked in, "I'm sorry I'll leave you two alone". Dylan got up quickly coming after me..."No Payton don't leave, I was just telling my mom that uh, well that I finely stop being an ass and admitted that I have feelings for you". Slightly embarrassed and not knowing what exactly to say. I just smiled and rocked back onto my heels. He reached out and took both of my hands into his looking straight at me. "Can we spend the day together," he asked with very hopeful eyes. Smiling at him "Well I don't have any other plans so...." He leaned in and kissed me. Feeling my cheeks heat up as I blushed knowing that he just kissed me in front of Karen. From behind him she walked up paused next to us and said..."Use your heads please I already have one child making me a grandma long before my time. The rules still stand!" and she went to start getting ready for work.
I was getting ready when my cell phone beeped and a text message came through.
"Hey Pretty Girl' want to go to the movies I miss your smile, Todd"
Uh....shit. Um, "Sorry I have plans"
I wasn’t sure what to say I needed to let him down easy and not through text. I needed to tell him about Dylan and me.
"That’s too bad because I was hoping that I could show you how much I have missed your Pretty face since Tuesday, How about later?"
Looking down at my text from Todd I heard Dylan say sounding slightly hurt, "I thought you said you two were just friends?" I hadn't heard him come in or feel him behind me. I turned into him quickly to defend myself I stated, "We are, I mean I am....its." I took a minute to get the words together that I wanted to say and then continued. "He wanted more and he still does. He knows how I feel about you but the last thing he heard was that you didn't feel the same so he really has no way of knowing that things are different now". He looked at me and replied with, "So what’s keeping you from telling him now?"
I explained that I felt it wasn't probably something I should tell him over a text. I could tell that he didn't really get that explanation but pretended to accept it. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his forehead against mine leaning in to lightly kiss me then saying, "I could get really jealous really quick, but I'm trying not to." I shook my head lightly saying, “There’s absolutely no reason for you to be jealous or concerned with Todd or anyone. I gave you my entire heart years ago even though you just accepted it, and you better not give it back." He pulled me in so tightly against him, "Not even if you begged its mine forever!" Then he kissed me, and I melted to him. He ran his hand up my back bringing it to rest on my neck just below my jawbone taking his thumb and lightly running it along my cheek. I felt as if I was floating.
After kissing me for a few more minutes he pulled back looking straight in my eyes completely serious, “You’ll tell him right?" Smiling, and ki
ssing him once more quickly, "Of course I will."
We decided to go to the movies. He held my hand throughout the beginning, then after feeling like that wasn't enough he raised the armrest that separated us. He pulled me into him wrapping his arm around me securely and nuzzling my neck. I loved being in his arms I'd had dreams about moments like these. Feeling his lips on mine was such a warm tender feeling. When I was with him he made me feel so special. After the movie I just wanted to spend more time with him I didn't care where or what we actually did I just wanted to be snuggled in his arms. For once in my life I actually felt things were going perfect. I turned to him placing my hand in the center of his chest and then looking up about to say something. Before I could he floored me by saying, "Payton your perfect, Amazing, Beautiful. You’re the strongest person I know. You have been through so much and hurt for so many years, even after all that has happened you still light up a room. You have the most amazing green eyes and the perfect little nose." Kissing the tip of my noes as he continued,” Your lips are so full and soft" kissing my lips next," and sweet, I feel like I have missed out on a million kisses from you. I regret that so much, for being so stubborn". I just stood there looking at him in awe as he told me more, “I could get completely lost in you. I 'want to make you happy, I will make you happy. I promise to never hurt you or allow anyone else to. You deserve happiness Payton. I want to be the guy that makes you smile and laugh. I want to be that guy that you find you can't get enough of. I just want to be everything you deserve and more. You make me want to be better and you make me feel things that I have never felt before. Being with you is exactly where I want to be and I am so sorry it took me so long to figure that out." My heart was beating so fast and my eyes full of tears I choked out, "I love you Dylan". Smiling back at me with his gorgeous smile..."I love you too, Angel." We went to a little Cafe on the corner near the theater and he sat next to me instead of across the table. We talked about his dad and things he remembered. We talked about Maggie and how I have gotten past the point of hoping she would come back, now it was just anger for what she left me to live with. Karen was the topic of a long part of our conversation, how amazingly understanding and loving she was. We were getting ready to leave when two guys walked in that were friends of Dylan's. I kind of stood back letting him catch up with them. He reached his hand out and laced his fingers with mine pulling me closer to him, "This is Payton, my girlfriend," he introduced me as his girlfriend and I must say the rush of emotion within me was at that moment difficult to maintain. I knew Dylan meant a lot to me and was a huge part of my heart but I wasn't prepared for the feelings I would have within myself if he was to ever return that love. After talking for a few minutes longer they said their goodbyes and we found our way to his truck. Once he shut his door I moved over to the center and reached out to pull his face to mine, kissing him so lightly looking at him I said, "I’m happy Dylan…really happy." He leaned into me kissing with a little more intensity, "Good because am happy too" I looked at him smiling, "You’re worth the wait."
We went back home to find an empty house with a note on the table from Karen.
Guys,
Dinners in fridge just rewarm. Got called in & will be stuck
at hospital until 7 am tomorrow. If you need me you know how to reach me.
Carter is staying with Aunt Mae.
BE GOOD...Luv you all, Mom
"Casey must be gone with Seth," Dylan said wrapping his arms around my waist from behind pulling me back to him and kissing the top of my head. I just let him hold me securely against his chest after a few minutes I turned around to face him and just looked into his eyes. "Dylan let’s goes upstairs…to your room.” He nuzzled his nose in my hair and then we pulled apart but keeping one hand locked with mine he led me to his room. I stopped in his doorway rethinking for just a quick second what was running through my mind. Before I could talk myself out of it I turned around and faced him quickly pulling his head down to mine and started kissing him. I wasn't thinking about anything just us and that moment. I didn't want to think I just wanted to feel him against me and I wanted to lose myself in him. My hands found the bottom of his shirt as I traced my fingers along his waist before lifting his shirt over his head. He took in a deep breath as my fingertips stopped at the top of his pants. He broke our kiss to look at me, “Payton what are we doing". I kissed him again then lifted my own shirt up over my head. He blew out a breath looking at me and then said, "hey angel, lets slow down okay.” Feeling a little hurt I grabbed my shirt back up off the floor to cover myself. "No Payton, no that's not what I meant, I just don't wanna rush you. I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything. It’s your first time and I want it to be special." I just looked at him and thought out loud, ' But it was you that I waited for. I never felt that there was anyone else I wanted to share this with. No one else I wanted to spend these moments with. I want to be with Dylan. I want to share my virginity with you. It’s always been you." He kissed me so lightly that it almost tickled. "Are you sure, we can wait?" he whispered. “I’ve waited long enough Dylan...I don’t want to wait anymore. I'm ready." He reached out taking my shirt from my hands and dropping it to the floor. He placed his hands on my waist and pulled me back to him. I reached out to the top of his pant and undid the button sliding down his zipper. His hands found the top of my jeans doing the same and I smiled under our kiss. I felt no hesitation I was so ready to share this him. It felt so right. As my pants fell to the floor and we both stood there kissing so intensely, his hands ran over my body so lightly. He backed me up to his bed and lowered me down as he knelt down with me looking into my eyes the entire time, "You are so beautiful, so perfect. “He brought his mouth down over mine lightly touching his tongue to mine. He moved down my neck tracing with the tip of his tongue between kisses. A little moan of pure pleasure escaped me. He smiled against my neck knowing he was giving my body what it wanted. Almost unable to speak I said, "Uh...um I don’t have anything..." he pulled back to look at me puzzled before realizing that I was talking about protection. “Wow I got wrap up in the moment I didn't think about that...um I don’t have any. I haven't needed any..." he said shrugging his shoulders. "Me neither," I said causing both of us to lightly laugh and then he kissed me again very sexually...which caused me to moan a little louder this time. "Casey I bet she has some in her dresser." He pulled away and stood up. Looking me over licking his lower lip ..."I will be right back." He said holding up his finger for me to stay right where I was.
A couple minutes later the door creped open and he came back in closing and locking it behind him which only made my heart skip a beat. Not from being scared but the anticipation of what I was about to share with him. He held up a condom between his fingers and walked toward me lying it on the pillow next to me. Looking down at me he smiled tracing his fingertip down my arm. I reached over tugging a little on his wrist. "Are you really sure about this Payton...completely sure there's no doubt in your mind not even the slightest," he whispered as he crawled back onto the bed lying next to me on his side. I smiled at him, "I have never been surer Dylan I am more than ready for this. I want you to make love to me.” He slid his body back onto mine slowly and kissed me again very slowly sliding his tongue over mine, his hand roaming over my body. He began kissing down my neck to my chest where he brought his hand up to lightly trace across the top of my bra before pausing for a brief second and unclasping the center. As it fell open he moaned and then placed his mouth over my left nipple lightly grazing it with his tongue before moving to the right side repeating the same action. My breathing had increased along with his. He kissed down my stomach tracing my belly with his tongue then sliding back up to my breasts again. He lightly sucked on each one before bringing his mouth back to mine. I had already started to remove his boxers and he finished taking them off. I could feel his arousal as he brought his body back down to mine. His mouth was tracing kisses all along my jaw, neck and paying attention to my breasts very generously. I ran my han
d down his chest, then his stomach pausing to feel his very define abs. Very sexy and arousing moans were escaping him as my hand made its way down finding his erection and sliding my hand up and down in complete approval of my findings. "Oh Payton," he whispered then his breathing picked up and I could feel a drop of moisture on the tip knowing then that he was extremely turned on. He began to rub me threw my panties before pulling them slightly to the side to slowly ease a finger into me. "Oh yes," I brought my sex up to meet him. I could not believe how aroused I was I had never felt his way. I wanted him so badly, I needed him so badly. "Please make love to me Dylan I want you inside me...” He slid his finger in and out a few more times before removing it to grab the condom. He opened it and rolled onto his side sliding the condom on carefully. I had taking this opportunity to remove my panties. Once it was in place he rolled back over to meet my body with his. I parted my legs to welcome him between them. I felt his erection resting against my thigh. Kissing me again with such feeling he whispered in between kisses, "I love you baby..." and again his hand found my awaiting wetness sliding his finger inside me slowly in and out rubbing along my folds with each thrust. After a few more strokes he lifted his pelvis up and positioned the head of his shaft and with a very slow movement began sliding inside me. There was a slight sting and then a little pain I gasped a bit causing him to stop and look at me with concern in his eyes, "Did I hurt you, are you okay?" I leaned forward bringing my mouth to his giving him a very sexy kiss tracing my tongue along his lower lip making him quietly moan. "Don’t stop Dylan. Don’t stop!" He moved into me little by little until I could feel him completely. His pelvis resting on mine for a few seconds allowing my body to accept him, then he slowly began to slide in and out of me. With each entry the ache turned into pleasure. He felt amazing, kissing me along my neck and chest. I ran my hand up and down his back and rested the other in his hair and the base of his neck. He brought one hand up to caress my breasts as his other held his body steady. He raised himself just enough to be able to look into my eyes as he continued moving in and out of me at the perfect pace. I felt an amazing yummy pressure building with each thrust into me, it intensified. All at once I exploded around him with such an intense orgasm my toes curl and I moaned out his name. He kissed me again and slid into me, then back out again and again. He brought his body down against mine tightly are chests touching completely his mouth right next to my ear he whispered very sexy words, "Your body feels so good Baby, we fit together so perfectly. Ah yeah you feel so warm. Being inside of you is amazing." He traced my ear with his tongue placing light kisses down my neck still continuing his rhythm in and out of me. Feeling him slide so smoothly into me was mind blowing. "Baby I am so close...I don’t know how much longer I can last..." he moaned in my ear. I pulled back and looked directly at him and replied, "We have all night to do it again." He smiled and kissed me tracing his tongue down my neck and back up to my ear. With another thrust I could feel his muscles on his upper back and shoulders tense. He pulled out and then with the next thrust he moaned..."oh baby..." pushing into me with two deep thrusts he lightly collapsed and shivered quickly. He lifted his weight up enough to look into my eyes, placing a couple small kissing on my awaiting lips.” Payton that was amazing. Are you okay?" he asked tracing my cheek with his thumb as his hand rested on my neck. "I'm great...That was so perfect". Kissing again he slowly pulled out of me and it was a little achy but completely worth every second. We laid there for a little bit talking and just holding one another. After some time we decided that we were hungry. Getting dressed and before leaving his room he approached me from behind wrapping his arms around my waist leaning to kiss my neck, "Payton I love you, that was the absolute most amazing moment I have ever experienced. Definitely something I want to repeat over and over." Grinning placing more kisses on neck. At that very moment I had never felt more loved. Hand and hand we went to rewarm dinner.