“We should go make something to eat, right girls? Maybe you could finish cleaning the rain gutters, Nate,” she said. Hunter wanted to be alone with me.
“Of course, mom,” Indigo replied and stood up. Sandy joined her and they walked off towards the kitchen.
“Yeah, I might as well get those gutters finished,” Nate said and got out of his chair after setting his tablet aside. He smiled at me as he went to the door that led to the garage and disappeared. Penny stood as well.
“Take all the time you need. It will be a while before dinner is done,” she said and left us alone. Hunter sat next to me, still not daring to get too close.
“Why...um...why are you telling me this?” I asked him.
“You really don’t know?” he replied. I guess I did know. Indigo already told me Hunter still spoke of me. He, apparently, hadn’t forgotten about me. Though I tried, I couldn’t forget about him either.
“I guess I do,” I began, collecting my thoughts before continuing. I had tried to deny my feelings but suddenly, I didn’t care anymore about hiding them. “I figured you’d hate me after what I did,” I told Hunter.
“I did,” he said plainly and then smiled. “For about two minutes,” he added. I smiled despite myself.
“I was scared...of a lot of things. Our different lives and ideologies, the distance between us...but really, I was scared of how you made me feel. I wasn’t prepared for how easily those things slipped from the forefront of my life,” I said.
“I don’t care. That’s the past. Look, I live a life where I can’t afford to linger too long on stuff, you know. I’m not afraid of my feelings. I’ve got much worse things to fear than my emotions,” he told me. I didn’t want to think about what that meant but I couldn’t help it. Hunter could be killed. I had to face that too.
“How do you feel about me?” I wondered.
“I don’t want to scare you again,” he said. But that did scare me. The possibilities were downright frightening but I needed to hear what Hunter had to say. I needed Hunter to confirm what I thought he was feeling. I needed to embrace the fear and face it head on.
“Please, tell me,” I urged him. Hunter reached out and took my hands as he stared into my eyes. I was shaking, my mouth dry and my ears ringing. I felt as if I might explode.
“I love you, Mel. I wanted to tell you before I deployed. I don’t expect anything in return. I just wanted you to know...just in case,” he said. The flood of emotions I held at bay came rushing forth. I began to cry and I wasn’t entirely sure what it was that I was crying about. Was it that Hunter loved me or that he felt compelled to tell me in case he never got the chance again? Both, I think.
I...Hunter, I...,” I stammered. Somehow, I knew what Hunter was going to say but when I heard the words, I was still shocked and caught off guard.
“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know. I wanted to see my family before I deployed but...,” Hunter said and then leaned in close after making sure we were alone. “I really came home to see you,” he whispered. I remembered that at Christmas Indigo had clearly heard her mother from the back of the house. I wondered how much of this conversation was really private, though I didn’t really care.
“Hunter, we’re very different people and from very different worlds. I...I’m not sure...what I mean to say is...we’re just different,” I told him, pretty badly at that.
“I know, Mel,” he said.
“I don’t know how we could make it work. I’m not even sure we should try. I don’t want either of us to get hurt,” I said.
“Life is pain. After boot camp, it can’t get much worse,” he said jokingly. I laughed, the tension eased a bit. “Seriously though, I don’t care. Everything in life is risky. I’d rather give it a go than wonder forever what might have happened. I mean it, Mel, I love you. I don’t know why but I do. You’re so pretty and fun to be around. You make me feel good. I thought my life was pretty complete until you hit on me at that party,” he said. I laughed, remembering that night. Hunter continued.
“Look, this is three times. We’ve had three chances and each of us passed on one of the first two. But we keep coming back to one another. The universe is trying to tell us something,” Hunter said. I thought about that. We had happened upon each other twice before and we had hit it off. I hadn’t ever felt the same way with another man like I felt with Hunter. But this time was different. He sought me out and when we missed each other, I went looking for Hunter.
Obviously, we had unfinished business together. But what about my concerns. How could an anti-war activist and a Marine find common ground? Maybe we didn’t have to. Maybe our feelings trumped everything else. Maybe we could make it work not despite our differences but because of them. Maybe, like Hunter said before, we really weren’t as far apart as it seemed.
I sat on the sofa, my hands still in Hunter’s hands, and tried to clear my head. I didn’t weigh my options, I didn’t try to figure out how it could work, I just listened. I listened to my heart. Did I love Hunter? Yes, no, maybe...I don’t know. I’m not even sure I knew what love felt like. But I did enjoy his company. I did find him attractive. But most importantly, I didn’t feel whole without him. He had filled a void I didn’t know was even there, or maybe he created it, but without him in my life, as brief as our time together was, the emptiness couldn’t be ignored.
“I tried really hard. I tried to not think about you,” I said, looking at my lap finding it hard to speak what I felt. But I looked up into Hunter’s eyes before I went on. “It didn’t work for shit,” I said. He laughed.
“I had a few spacey moments myself thinking about you,” Hunter admitted.
“I’ve had a spacey few months. Hunter, I...I...,” I said, the words there on the tip of my tongue but refusing to come out. I wanted to say them but had I come to terms with the consequences? I hadn’t. My life would certainly change. I had the freedom that Hunter didn’t. He was subject to the whims of the Marine Corps. I wasn’t...or at least I wasn’t yet. I didn’t know where this would lead, not yet, but I knew I’d be the one that had to adapt, at least in the short term, to make this work.
But did I love Hunter? I wasn’t sure. Maybe the ache I felt when I left him was love. Maybe the thrill I felt when Daisy told me he had come back to see me was love. Maybe the way he made me feel about myself or the way my priorities reshuffled themselves for him or maybe, just maybe, the way he made love to me was love. Maybe all of it or none of it was love. But I was running out of time and chances to come to terms with how I felt.
I just didn’t want to feel like I did without Hunter. Maybe that was all I needed to know. Life was short, a point Hunter’s career made me keenly aware of. He was certainly aware of the unspoken possibility. Death stalked us all but not as closely as it stalked men like Hunter. He told me he loved me because he might not ever get the chance again. That applied to me too, right? I might not get this chance again if I passed on the opportunity.
I exhaled and it all became so clear. I no longer hesitated. I had this one chance and I wasn’t going to pass it up. I couldn’t. I didn’t know what would happen when I said the words but I knew I couldn’t live with the consequences of not saying them.
“I love you too, Hunter,” I said. He smiled, let go of my hands and cupped my face in his palms. He kissed me and I remembered suddenly how much I liked that. I loved him. There was doubt, I suppose, but nothing tangible, nothing that could overcome the feeling of having that void filled.
However, I thought that was it. We’d professed our love and we’d work it out somehow. We’d send letters, Skype, whatever, while Hunter was overseas and pick up where we left off when he returned. That was the rational and logical thing to do.
I was wrong. Professing our love was just the beginning.
“Then marry me. Tonight,” he said. I pulled back and stared blankly at Hunter. He was kidding, right? Right? His expression told me he wasn’t. I became aware that suddenly we weren�
�t alone. I glanced over at the kitchen and just barely out of sight, Penny, Indigo and Sandy waited for my answer. I looked over my shoulder and as expected, Nate was on his ladder outside the front window working away, oblivious to the drama inside. I looked back at Hunter.
“I don’t know what to say,” I told him. It was a problem I was having rather often that day.
“Say yes. Be my wife, Mel. Be there for me when I come home and I swear, this will be the last time I deploy. I’ll leave the Corps for you,” he said. I was truly speechless. The gesture was genuine but I couldn’t let Hunter do that. He told me he was a lifer. I knew that even though I could probably never understand why, Hunter loved the Marines.
“You can’t. You don’t have to leave. You love it,” I told him, a lame attempt to change the subject. Now Penny was standing in the threshold to the kitchen, no longer caring if I knew she awaited my answer. Her hands were clasped together over her chest and she wore an expectant expression.
“I will if that’s what it takes. My job, my buddies, all of it take second place, Mel,” he told me echoing my own thoughts of late. Hearing him say it solidified my own feelings. Everything had taken a back seat to Hunter but the curious part was that I didn’t mind. I didn’t regret it or wish otherwise. I preferred it, in fact. I had found something I cared about even more.
“Here’s the deal. I won’t ask you to give that up if you don’t ask me to give up anything. If you want to leave the Marines, you do it because you want to. Deal?” I replied. Hunter grinned.
“So, can I take that as a yes?” he asked. Now Indigo and Sandy stood in the threshold while Penny looked as if she might pounce at any moment, standing mere feet from the sofa. Was that a yes? I guess it was.
“Yes, I’ll marry you, Hunter. Tonight,” I said and instead of the regret I was sure I would feel at the rash decision, there was nothing but joy and the notion that I was doing exactly the right thing. The three women, even Sandy, squealed as Hunter pulled me to him and kissed me. Soon, we were being mobbed by Hunter’s mom, sister and sister-in-law. It was crazy for a moment. I didn’t just agree to marry Hunter. I had gained a wonderful family too.
Penny broke out the wine and we began discussing how to go about this. Reno wasn’t but three hours away. Penny offered to get everyone rooms for the night and we found a twenty-four hour wedding chapel on the internet. Hunter called to change his flight back to base while I called my parents. My mom was confused, as much about my sudden nuptials as my choice in a husband. She and my dad weren’t activists or even political but they were keenly aware of my positions.
“I know, mom. I’m kind of surprised too. I wish you could be there but we’ll do something formal when Hunter comes home,” I told her.
“I’d like that. Look, honey, are you happy?” she asked.
“Yes,” was all I said.
“Then I’m happy. I’ll tell your father. Call us when you have a chance and send some photos,” Mom urged me.
“I will. I love you, mom,” I said.
“I love you too, honey,” she replied and we hung up. I returned from the kitchen just as Nate walked inside, his shirt a mess and his brow beaded with sweat.
“It’s done. The gutters are...what’s going on?” he asked, sensing the festive atmosphere.
“We’re going to Reno,” Penny told her husband.
“For what? When?” he asked curiously.
“As soon as you get out of the shower and Hunter and Mel get back,” she told him, being coy.
“Where are they going?” he wondered.
“To get a dress for Mel at her dorm,” Penny said. Nate frowned, more confused than when he walked in. Penny let him off the hook, however. “She can’t get married in what she’s wearing,” Penny said. Nate’s eyes narrowed but then he figured it out. He began to laugh.
“Well, hell. Welcome to the family. Interesting doesn’t begin to describe us,” he said. He tried to hug me but thought better of it considering he was covered in leaves and muck. Instead, he kissed my cheek and shook Hunter’s hand. “Congrats, you two. I can see you’ll both be very happy,” he told us and headed to the shower. I sensed suddenly that Hunter’s proposal wasn’t the spur of the moment act I thought. He had already told his family of his intentions before I arrived.
“Honey, you know what’s in Reno, don’t you?” Penny asked as he went. Nate stopped and considered that.
“No, what?” he asked his wife.
“Strip clubs,” she said. A grin crossed Nate’s face as Penny and he made eyes at one another. Indigo moaned.
“So gross, you two,” she said. Penny laughed and Nate chuckled as he went to shower. I think they enjoyed making Indigo uncomfortable.
“Maybe we can go to a strip club,” Hunter suggested to me. I turned to glare at him. “I didn’t mean tonight,” he said as I turned his little joke around on him. I laughed at my soon to be husband’s expense as he realized I was only messing with him.
“Maybe when you get home,” I told him. Hunter kissed me.
“I knew you’d make a good wife,” he said. Indigo rolled her eyes.
“Not you too. Ug,” she complained but I’m pretty sure she was joking as well.
>>O<<
Within the hour, we were caravanning up Interstate 80 towards Reno. Thankfully, Daisy was out when we went to get me a dress to wear. We all had rooms at the Grand Summit Hotel and Casino and a reservation at the Sagebrush Hearts wedding chapel. Hunter and I rode with Nate and Penny while Indigo and Sandy followed in their car. The ride was uneventful but I had a blast. Nate and Penny were interesting people.
I’d already heard the threesome story that belied their conservative look and demeanor but I heard even more as we traveled. As a couple, they were quite progressive on many social issues. Their daughter was a lesbian. Penny was admittedly bisexual. But they were committed to one another and grounded too. I wish my parents were more like them.
My mom and dad were great people but together...well, they had a tumultuous relationship. They seemed to genuinely love each other but I always had a hard time figuring out why. They had little in common and didn’t seem to like each other all that much. Maybe they were just too set in their ways to move on or maybe that’s how they related but it in any case, it didn’t look like much fun.
Nate and Penny, on the other hand, were perfect for one another. They played off of each other’s sense of humor, they seemed to have much in common and they didn’t just love each other, it seemed, they were best friends. So on the ride up to Reno, I got to hear all about their relationship, much to Hunter’s dismay. I think they were giving us advice without giving us advice.
“So, there’s this stunning woman at the dress shop in the mall. I mean spectacular,” Penny told us as we drove past Truckee. It was both strange and amusing to hear Penny speak so frankly, especially about other women. “This woman had the most amazing breasts and legs for days. The things I could do with a woman...well, never mind. Anyway, she ducks into a dressing room. It’s a small dress shop so there are just curtains. I’m standing there watching...,” she continued but Nate interrupted.
“She’s not just watching. Her tongue is hanging out and she’s panting like a dog,” he joked, or so I thought.
“That’s not far off. I can see almost up to her knees. She kicks off her heels and then peels her stockings down her legs. Stockings? Who wears stockings? She’s trying on a dress but she’s doing this slow striptease. So, next the garter belt comes off and then her panties. Nate’s standing off to the side watching this whole thing. I look over at him and he just smiles,” Penny continues.
I leaned forward, eager to hear the end of this tale but Hunter rolled his eyes and sighed. “Does this bother you?” I asked him.
“Look, it’s a great story but imagine your mom telling it,” he replied. I considered that. He had a point. Still, it was funny to see him so uncomfortable.
“Fair enough,” I said. Nate took over from there.
“Oh stop exaggerating,” Penny said and blushed. She was both brazen and modest at the same time, a quality that was somehow rather cute.
“Anyway, she thinks she’s being all coy, hiding behind a rack of dresses and watching this woman undress from the kneecaps down. Another few minutes go by and the woman dresses again and comes out. Penny is already pretending she wasn’t drooling on the dresses, absent-mindedly looking through the rack. So, the woman meanders towards Penny and I’m thinking the shit is about to go down,” Nate explained.
“So what happened?” I asked eagerly.
“So, she gets closer and closer and I’m trying to act cool and probably doing a horrible job of it. Finally, she’s right next to me. I’m shaking, wondering what she’s going to do if anything. Slap me, call the cops? Maybe this is all just a coincidence. But it wasn’t. She leans in close, looks around to make sure we’re alone and says, “I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did,” Penny said.
Hunter - Big Girls & Bad Boys Page 7