I’m okay, I said, noticing even through my mind the tone of his words seemed strained.
I’ve called out to you so many times. You never answered. I thought…
Grief washed over me and took my breath. I’m so sorry, Sam. I… I tried to think of a way to sugarcoat what happened, but there was no sugarcoating murder. Beelzebub tricked me and I did something horrible. I passed out and I must not have been able to hear you calling for me. I never meant to worry you.
I thought I might go insane.
What?
You wouldn’t answer and I couldn’t grab that link we have. I couldn’t feel you at all. It was worse than anything I’ve ever felt. It was like… I don’t ever want to feel that way again.
I wanted to kill Beelzebub for what he was doing to Sam. I’m still here, Sam. I promise I’m not going anywhere. I’m so sorry I scared you. I love you.
The panic that welled deep inside me seemed to ebb away and I realized that Sam was calming down. Unfortunately, the panic was being replaced with a deep fatigue. He was completely exhausted.
Kimber tried to break me out. She isn’t strong enough.
I said nothing for a moment, allowing that terrible news to sink in. It seemed the hope that lived inside of me grew smaller every day. But my determination was growing. We’ll find another way.
You aren’t hurt?
No.
Did you see Beelzebub?
No.
What happened?
Do you think I’m a bad person, Sam?
What? No. You’re so far away from bad it’s ridiculous.
Not anymore.
Heven? What’s going on?
I killed someone today, Sam.
Then it must have been to protect yourself.
No. Yes. I’m so confused.
If Beelzebub was involved, then you didn’t have a choice. What happened?
I gave him a brief account of the attack and it just reconfirmed what I felt before—I did have a choice and I chose wrong.
I can’t imagine how terrified you must’ve been. You did what you had to. Beelzebub manipulated you and you reacted, but it still doesn’t change the fact Colin would’ve killed you if you hadn’t stopped him.
No. Beelzebub doesn’t want me dead. He wants the scroll and he wants me to pay for what I did to him. He’s only getting started.
He let out a choked scream that echoed through my already pounding head. It’s killing me that I can’t be there to protect you from this!
I knew he was probably ripping apart the cell and I didn’t want that. He was already beyond exhausted.
Sam, calm down. Listen to me. I’m leaving tonight to come and get you.
Everything inside me stilled. I told you not to come back here.
And I asked you not to ask that of me.
Haven’t you been through enough?
Haven’t you? I countered. I wanted desperately to tell him about Riley, but I was afraid to. He was already angry and worried enough. Telling him I found Riley after he told me not to, after he told me he was dangerous, didn’t seem like a smart idea right now.
I’m supposed to be protecting you, not placing you in greater danger.
When I get you out of there, you can protect me all you want.
Promise me you’re really okay, that you’re not hurt.
I’m just fine. I promise. Physically anyway. My mental health was another story.
Hev? Baby, you could kill ten thousand men and I would still love you more than anything. Please don’t torture yourself over this. Beelzebub is going to pay for what he did to you.
I love you too, Sam. I can’t wait to get you home.
Be careful, Heven. Don’t risk yourself for me. If it looks bad, get out.
Okay. I winced, feeling lower than dirt. He still didn’t know I contacted Riley. He didn’t know Riley was here and that he’d been helping me. What would Sam say when he learned Riley had been here, in his house, protecting me from being caught for murder?
I wondered if he would still love me as much as he says when he realized I’ve been lying to him.
Try and get some rest, Sam. I’ll be right here if you call. I promise.
Warmth spread through my chest and I knew it was his way of showing me his love. I slipped into Sam’s shirt and ran a comb through my wet, tangled hair and gathered up my ruined clothes to shove into the trashcan.
Riley was sitting on the couch when I let myself out of the bathroom. His gaze flicked to me, then went back to the TV. I sat on the couch beside him, but not so close that we touched, and stared at the TV without really seeing it.
“What did you do with Colin’s body?”
He clicked the remote to turn off the TV. “I put him in his cruiser and sent it down over the hill. Then I lit it on fire. It looks like he went off the road and the gas tank ruptured. They won’t be able to tell he was stabbed to death.”
I winced at that. “I was the last person seen with him.”
“If the police come to you, just tell them he dropped you at your car and then said he was going back to the hospital. The car was going in the direction of the hospital when I ran it off the road. No one will be able to argue with you. Why would a seventeen-year-old kill an old man?”
“He wasn’t that old,” I murmured, feeling sick. I wondered how he could sit there and talk about covering up a murder and setting a car on fire. Did nothing bother him at all?
“It doesn’t matter now. Forget about it.”
How did you forget about something like this?
“How was your mom?” he asked, no doubt thinking he would change the subject to something better.
“She woke up,” I said. This earned me a look from him.
“You don’t seem too happy about that.”
“She took one look at my face”—I gestured to my new pink scar—“and declared she was right all along and that I’m clearly evil. Then she said I wasn’t her daughter anymore and she never wanted to see me again.”
“You’re a walking magnet for trouble,” he said, unperturbed.
“Then I proved her right by going out and killing someone.”
Riley turned his nearly black eyes to me. “Woe is me.”
I sighed, got up and rummaged until I found a bottle of pain reliever and swallowed back three. “I have to go. I need to tell Gran what happened with Mom so she can go to the hospital and try to calm her down.”
“I’ll drive.”
I began to shake my head but then changed my mind. Who really cared if I let him drive Gran’s car? “Fine. But you’ll have to get out before we get up to the house. I don’t want to have to explain you to her. You can come in once she leaves for the hospital.” I grabbed my bag, which was lying by the door, and wrinkled my nose. It was ruined with blood too. I really liked this bag.
“Thank you,” I said sincerely, looking up at Riley.
“Whatever. I couldn’t leave your crap all over the road. The police would be suspicious.”
I didn’t care why he did what he did, although I suspected his motives weren’t just for covering up my crime. Riley might not want me to see it, but there was a heart inside him somewhere, and it was bigger than he wanted anyone to believe.
He brushed past me out the door and I caught his hand. He turned back. I hugged him, squeezing a little harder than I meant to. I pulled away quickly but didn’t step away. “No, really. You didn’t have to do any of that. You didn’t have to bring me here. You could’ve let me get caught.”
“It wasn’t any big deal.” He went down the steps, then turned to hold out his hand for the car keys. “Besides, if I don’t keep your butt out of trouble, I’ll have to deal with Sam.”
I barely even blinked at the comment and I certainly didn’t let on that Riley probably wasn’t going to get a warm welcome from Sam.
Not only was I a killer now, but I was very good at lying.
*
It’s strange how one man’s life ended but everyth
ing in the world went right on turning. Life went on and I had no choice but to keep going with it. When I walked into the kitchen, Gran put down the dish she was drying and turned to look at me. I knew I looked like crap. I knew I couldn’t hide the way I felt.
So I lied my way out of it.
Again.
Although, in my own defense, at least this lie was based on truth. Just not the whole truth.
“What happened?” Gran asked, taking in my damp, straggly hair, oversized shirt and bare feet.
Logan came in from the other room and stood, looking at me with worry on his face. I tried to smile to reassure him, but I don’t think I did a very good job.
“I stopped at Sam’s after I went to see Mom.” I lowered myself into a chair at the table. My legs were wobbly and I felt like I might fall down. “I needed a little time alone.”
“Was there a change in Madeline’s condition?” Gran bustled about making what looked like hot tea for me. My stomach turned at the thought of drinking it.
“She woke up.”
“She woke up!” Gran exclaimed. “How is she?”
Logan came a little farther into the room, his face brightening at the good news.
“The doctor said her vitals looked good and she has to stay for another day or two before being released.”
“Well, that is wonderful news. Was she happy to see you?” Gran was upset; her aura was jittering with nervous energy. She could tell just by looking at me that things hadn’t gone well.
“No, Gran. She saw the new mark on my face and declared that she was right before. She said I have evil inside of me and I’m no longer her daughter. She screamed so loud the nurse came in and I had to leave.”
Gran forgot about my tea and dropped into the vacant chair next to me. “Honey, I’m so sorry. She doesn’t really mean it. Her head… it isn’t right from when she fell.”
I appreciated her kindness and the way she tried to make me feel better, but I shook my head sadly. “She meant everything she said.”
“Maybe she’s just confused,” Logan said, taking a seat at the table. Gran nodded.
Over on the stove, the teakettle whistled and steam filled the air. We all ignored it and stared at each other. “I’m very sorry she said those things to you. You know it isn’t true, don’t you?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
“Oh, honey.” She leaned over and hugged me. She smelled good, like lemons and honey. “You will always have a place here. This is your home and I love you. I want you here.”
I squeezed my eyes shut to prevent any tears. “I know, Gran. I love you too.”
“Oh my! I forgot about the tea.” She bustled over and poured me a mugful, adding honey.
She set the cup by my elbow and I asked, “I was hoping you could go see Mom. Make sure she’s doing okay? I don’t like to think of her there by herself and being confused.”
“Well, I planned on going to see her this afternoon anyway,” Gran said. “I’ll just leave a little early.”
She left me in the kitchen to go upstairs and change her clothes and grab her purse. I got up and dumped half the tea in my mug down the drain and sat back down at the table.
Logan pretended he didn’t notice, which I appreciated. “So your mom is really going to be okay?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“That’s really great news. I felt really bad about what happened to her.”
He looked so relieved that I smiled. “It wasn’t your fault, Logan. In fact, if you hadn’t been there to call for help, she might have been worse.”
His face seemed to go a little pale as Gran came back in and offered to make me some more tea, which I declined. “I’m not sure what time I’ll be home. I have my monthly bridge night tonight, but I can stay home.”
“No,” I said, trying not to sound desperate to get her out of here. “I’ll be fine. Cole is coming over and Logan is here. We can order pizza.”
Concern clouded over Gran’s aura and inwardly I groaned. “Cole’s been spending a lot of time here lately.”
“I thought you liked when Cole came over. He is your grandson and all.”
“Of course I like to see Cole. I just meant that I haven’t seen you with anyone else lately. Where’s Kimber been?”
“We got in a fight. We aren’t speaking.” This was another example of a lie based on truth.
“Oh. Well, I’m sorry. Maybe you two could make up?”
“Maybe,” I echoed.
“Have you talked to Sam lately?” Gran fished.
“This morning. He’s coming home soon.” Like tonight.
“Oh. Great. I was beginning to wonder about him.”
“No need to worry, Gran. Things with Sam are good.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind being on your own tonight?”
I nodded and so did Logan. “Have a great time.”
“I’ll call you and let you know how your mother is doing.” She squeezed my shoulder, then disappeared out the door. I listened to the Toyota start up and drive away. I got up and dumped my mug in the sink. I turned and gasped. Riley was standing behind me. I covered up my shock by scowling at him.
“Oh good, you’re here.” I grabbed my bag from beneath the table (glad Gran didn’t notice the way it looked) and fished out my cell phone. “Can you be ready to go into hell tonight?”
“Sure,” he said while he searched through all the cabinets and came out with a bag of Doritos. He tore open the bag and began shoving them into his mouth. “You have any soda?”
“It’s in the fridge. I’d say make yourself at home… but you already have.”
“I’m coming with you,” Logan declared.
I dropped my bag and looked at him, but Riley pretended he hadn’t heard a word as he popped the top on a Dr. Pepper. “Thanks, Hev.”
Sometimes it really annoyed me when he called me that. It was like he thought we were best buddies. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Logan. You might get hurt.”
“Sam is my brother. I’m coming.”
I sighed, not sure how to handle this. Logan wasn’t strong enough to come with us. He might slow us down, and if he got hurt, what would I say to Sam?
“You’re too weak to come. Do you want Sam to get hurt trying to protect you while he escapes?” Riley said bluntly.
He was a real poet.
“Fine.” Logan relented. Then he looked at me. “I don’t want to do anything to make it harder for Sam.”
I nodded and went over to him. “Sam’s going to be proud of you. Sit down. I’ll make you a sandwich.” I punched the button that dialed Cole and held the phone to my ear.
Riley sat down at the table and propped up his feet. “I don’t like mayo.”
I rolled my eyes and grabbed the mustard as Cole picked up the phone. “Can you be here in, like, an hour?” I said in way of greeting.
“Hey, sis, I’m great; thanks for asking! How are you?”
“Cole,” I said, exasperated.
He made a sound. “Sure, I can be there.”
“Bring Gemma.”
There was an uncomfortable silence on the other end of the line. I sighed and slammed all the makings for sandwiches on the counter. “I do not care what is going on between you two. Fix it. Don’t fix it. Whatever. But you will bring her. We need her. Sam needs her. And while you’re at it, can you stop at the store and get me a few things?”
“What am I, your errand boy?”
When I didn’t respond, he muttered, “Let me get a pen.”
When he gave me the go ahead, I rattled off a list of what I needed and he promised to be here soon.
Before I hung up he called my name. “Yeah?” I asked.
“What’s going on?”
“We’re leaving tonight to get Sam.”
Chapter Nine
Heven
Butterflies danced in my belly and fluttered close to my rapidly beating heart. Up until I spoke the words out loud, anxiety ate at my in
sides. Until now, flashes of crystal-clear memory of a dying Colin tortured me. But then something happened that pushed even the most awful events not away, but back, so I could breathe.
We were going to get Sam.
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